they wanna make me their mascot
Monthly Archives: June 2006
Dear Raymi,
I’m sorry about that necklace comment. I knew you probably wouldn’t
like it, and I thought you would tell me to fuck off if you cared to
respond at all, but I didn’t think it would actually hurt your
feelings. I know you don’t care about my stupid opinion, but on
principle, I should have known better. Basic human decency says you
don’t insult someone you don’t know for no good reason.
I’m not sure why I thought it was ok to say that. Perhaps because
other commenters were saying things about your makeup and it didn’t
seem bother you at all. Or maybe because I usually find no flaw at
all with your style; it suits you perfectly, even in its most unusual
incarnations.
Or maybe I forgot that you have real honest to human feelings because
even when you are emotional, you are strong and seem impervious. But
regardless, it was a thoughtless, jerky comment. I’m sorry.
For what it’s worth, I’ve been reading your blog for five years(so
yeah, again, I should have known the comment would bother you), since
Tony Pierce got linked from Salon.com for his photo essay about
bullfighting and in turn linked you at some point. I agree with Tony
that you are a master at blogging. I’ve never thought of you as a
trained monkey. I don’t criticize anything you do. I take you
seriously as a damn good writer.
And that is why I keep reading…because you are interesting, because
you understand people, because your word choice is brilliant.
So anyway, you scared the shit out of me, shattering the illusion of
anonymity I had posting (how in the world did you know I went to St.
John’s? I don’t understand internet technology, I suppose. Creepy.)
but even more so, I feel really guilty for being a shithead,
especially to someone who’s entertained me for free for years.
So one more time: I’m sorry.
Sincerely,
Danielle
P.S.– Please don’t post this email on your blog.
BONER OF THE WEEK GOES TO
there i was masturbating to nanny mcphee when this cocksucker lips goddess appears as a scullery maid and i am like CLITORAL EXPLOSION!
um hello drunk-dialed the entire UNIVERSE what’s up? oh not much? yeah me either hey remember that time when i didn’t have a cellphone and therefore couldn’t be all RAYGMiTheMinx yeh i think that time ruled. i wish i could remember the awesome things i texted if i had a blackberry whatever pilot thing i would know. there’s nothing more funny than thinking you are 100% completely in the right about something and caps lock texting it to ten people after 4 in the morning.
ps i agreed to see this doctor today at 9:45am whom i was referred to but i didn’t go cos he sounded like a moron on the fone, but i still said ok to the appointment cos i was too nervous and afraid to say no not interested on the fone wtf!?
read about how i went crazy on LAist.com
drunk opening up post 2006
i just wanted you to consider the possibility that i hated you and i wanted you to recognize the probability of me getting it, knowing i’m your fucking monkey, knowing what a fucking sideshow-act our friendship is.
you think i take this as seriously as you? you think i don’t know what a novelty i am to you? you think i AM laughing along with you, whilst chatting online ha ha ha i’m so funnily vulnerable ha ha ha i’m the whipping boy again how tres chic am i yet again, please please point out the things i say and do more, more, more please like i carefully haven’t scripted it all myself cos i certainly don’t get it thank you anon. comments – thanks far away st. john’s nobodies thank you for setting shit straight for me nothing nobodies who get it more than i thank you for telling me my necklace is not the right length you tried to deal long enough but now you realise it’s too long therefore axe it raymi, no goods sorry.
here you 1. fuck you
2. you read my blog you are less than fuck all nothing to me, please oh please tell me again, how i am indebted to you, the everything i say and do bullshit
anyway i can’t help but feel like i have earned the right to be above and beyond the realm of political anything the fuck correctness anymore seeing as i can barely type/ see/ comprehend shit anymore – less than two weeks ago when i was prattling on about natives whateverthefuck someone was all bla bla raymi you should feel responsible etc etc etc all of a sudden people are taking me seriously?!!!?!? um perhaps maybe 4/100 of you fucktits care what i have to say, over 6 years running and all of a sudden i am being accounted for!? uh weird.
funny how all this shit came about when fuckhead matthew good left/right-wing baby diapers bandwagon political gayfaces turned onto me – not dissing my friend matt in any shape or form jussayin he’s got a lot of right winger/teenager jealous obese stalkers on his tail who can’t help but make message community boards dissing people who so much as look at him and it makes me want to rip my hair out and set it on fire how angry i get, like, FUUUUUUCK, fuck, FUCK! there was like 7 pages dedicated to me, ME! it was totally flattering and annoying at the same time.
especially since i was being ripped apart by fat pimply fucks born in 1989 um hi give me your address so i can meet up with your mom so she can eat my vagina cos obvs. she’s a hot MILF seeing as you are ten seconds away from your placenta former self yet YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT MATTHEW GOOD TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME WRITE ABOUT ME MOOOOOOOOOORE I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT SORRY HE TOOK AN INTEREST IN MY WOOOORK I’M SORRY HE IGNORED YOUR GRADE 8 PICTURE YOU PAINTED OF AN OWL TOTALLY MY BAD ABOVE AND TOOOOTALLY BEYOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok nite before i write something i can’t take back.
xo.
ps. the showin love graphic was A JOKE as in I KNOW IT’S TACKY AND I AM USING IT ANYWAY AND IF YOU DON’T GET IT CONSIDER YOURSELF TOTES NOT 1. MY FRIEND 2. COOL
that is all.
today’s theme of dress is inspired by autistic tennis player babysitters.
i ate finally. subway “tuscan” chicken. the guy who served me was super nice unfortunately the other sandwich artist serving a complete fucking cunt british lady either had listening problems or a language barrier and i felt bad for him and super pissed at the uptight fat-ass screaming about lettuce and then tomato, lettuce, then tomato. i timed my cut-eye for everytime she looked over her shoulder at me also my order was finished FIRST HA HA HA and i was 2/3 thru it by the time she sat down to eat (i ordered the 6″) anyway, what the fuck do you expect, wolfgang puck style service from subway?
i am going to smell like mayonnaise for the rest of the day now.
anyway when i was 15 i gave my resume to a subway in my town and like a month later i get a call but they ask for my dad cos i had him listed as a reference, my dad gets on the fone and subway manager is all trying to convince my dad to BUY THEM OUT as in HI I OWN A SUBWAY! my dad’s like NOOOoooo thank you.
and then two years later when i already have a job at the hardware store i get a call from them asking if i would like to come in for an interview. ??? uh don’t you think you would make a point to LOSE my resume after my dad shot you down and not to mention the fact that you used my resume as a resource for cold-calling potential buyers of your soon-to-be-failing business and NOW two years later you are desparate for employees so you’re getting around to calling me now like i have been sitting around NOT having a job for the past two years? uh FUCK YOU.
