i do all my own stunts
Monthly Archives: April 2006
Lance says:
praise jesus
raymi says:
LORDY
raymi says:
amen
Lance says:
hahaha
Lance says:
hallelujah
raymi says:
now pray with me
Lance says:
its funny how christians make fun of muslims for being radical
raymi says:
no kidding
Lance says:
i love when people say they are going to pray for me
raymi says:
i would rather they buy me a burrito
Lance says:
pray for a burrito perhaps
raymi says:
BURRITOPRAYER
Lance says:
haha
raymi says:
thank you for that burrito father
Lance says:
a heavenly burrito
raymi says:
can you pray for some rice now
raymi says:
and turn the water in my plumbing to wine?
Lance says:
i dont know if god can do that
Lance says:
he can definitely turn blood into wine tho
raymi says:
im having a wine party tonite i would greatly appreciate it
Lance says:
it would save you a few bucks
raymi says:
majorly
raymi says:
the love and might and goodwill of the holy spirit will help me lose 20 lbs i just know it!
Lance says:
maybe he will bless you with an eating disorder
raymi says:
all this time wasted i can eat whatever i want jesus will help me!
Lance says:
haha
raymi says:
is this too sacreligious for my blog
raymi says:
whatever
Lance says:
no
Lance says:
it needs to be said
raymi says:
ok well say more to help the heathens please i think my readers need saving
Lance says:
lord, please strike down all of my blog readers who are not christians
raymi says:
PRAISE JESUS
raymi says:
dear lord please give me the courage to continue my work as a god warrior
Lance says:
barf
raymi says:
does msn prayer count as for real praying
Lance says:
i feel like ripping my tongue out and jamming it in my ears
raymi says:
like if you were dying of leprosy in australia and i prayed together with you from canada would it work?
Lance says:
definitely
Lance says:
the power of the internet
raymi says:
i bet jesus would have the most amazing website and you could download loaves of bread
Lance says:
yeah it would be 3D or something and would have subliminal brain washing images
raymi says:
do you think he would link me? i bet he’d get MAD hits!
Lance says:
yes, because he would forgive you
raymi says:
maybe i would interview him
Lance says:
you might make him cry
raymi says:
ok you be raymi and i will be jesus begin
Lance says:
so jesus, whats the deal with not liking homosexuals? arent homos people too?
raymi says:
jesus forgives everyone for their sins homosexuality is a handicap my child
Lance says:
so jesus thinks he is better than homosexuals?
raymi says:
jesus is better than nobody jesus is a regular dude jesus puts his sandals on one foot at a time my daughter
raymi says:
i hang with prostitutes man i dont have tiiiiime for fags!
Lance says:
why do you even need sandals? cant you fly jesus?
raymi says:
no but i travel by clouds i am very good friends with care bears sandals are my fashion statement
Lance says:
jesus, could you design a computer better than bill gates? because mine is a piece of shit
raymi says:
god is in everyone even in bill gates so basically i partly designed computers already
Lance says:
what if i dont want you in me?
Lance says:
and just so you know, you designed a piece of shit called windows
raymi says:
i forgive you and am compassionate and recognize your anger
Lance says:
does masturbating really make baby jesus cry?
raymi says:
it sends arrows and glass and knives into my heart
Lance says:
jesus, what should i do with my life?
raymi says:
this is boring
raymi says:
pretend to be someone else like vin diesel
Lance says:
i’ll be britney spears
Lance says:
but i dont know what shed say yeah this is stupid now
raymi says:
did your baby fall on its head?
Lance says:
somehow i got pregnant again
raymi says:
gross
this is what it feels like to get older when you are a girl.
you realise that everyone is way stupid but you are fine with it and you begin to like girls more and hate them less it’s like your uterus’ are communicating and hugging each other and so it’s like one big vagina party like there are vaginas on your shoulders and you are all knitting each other nice scarves and when they leave you are like oh here is a, i dunno, button, oh and a hat. I LOVE YOU I HAD FUN BYE!
when you are younger it’s only pretend like that cos when one vagina leaves you are all whispering about her.
ew i just called a vagina a her.
anyway, you become a little less cynical in a lazy kind of way, you still think the same scornful thoughts but at the end of the thought you go HA HA to yourself and move onto something else. unless you are like 60 and set in your ways and you are a witch.
you have lots more clothes.
it’s hard to tell the difference between someone who looks 18 and 24.
anything else?
oh you think about marriage and babies. i haven’t thought about babies yet but i think about marriage and i told fil he has til i am 25 cos i won’t be a spring chicken forever!
you dress older, you go to bars less and feel ok about it (i’m not exactly at that point yet). you save your money (i am not at that point yet either).
a fun getting older moment when you’ve had a few is giving “advice” to your friend who is a bit younger or maybe even older but equally as inebriated as you are and you have absolutely zero experience in what you are saying but you feel like you do because you are OLDER.
you get less embarassed so you do gay things like sway your arms softly to a GNR song and fall into chairs and tables in front of the entire universe.
ONE YEAR AGO TODAY
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
i think i am going to start a new blog for the ten-thousandth time and it will be called the cat update blog and i will document every little thing that happens between me and the cats. for example: i went to the kitchen to get some water and the cat was lying on the floor and looked at me. two hours later i turned on the television and the cat yawned.
thrilling news, i know.
someone asked how that autistic girl story ends and if she was faking it.
she stabs the guy in the hand with scissors and then they go for a drive and he drives them both off a cliff and they die.
sweaty changes her morphine patch
now before everyone gets all bitchy FUCK OFF she needs it.
yes my one meal a day diet is working. i have lost a few lbs and i feel like i look a bit slimmer i at least feel better and happier about my body and also my boobs grew so nice one all around! throw in a few no drinking days in there and it works way better. yesterday i ate a spicy beef patty and then a tiny bit of cheese hours later and 6 coronas.
i am meeting with sweaty hermit in a half hour. we have never met before. when i first learned about her i thought she was a he. you are allowed to be jealous. we are going to meet in a dark alley and make zero eye-contact and get pissed.
in other big news my tits are humonguous. does that happen when you get a new iud?
ps. we beat katamari last nite and it unlocked a level where you roll up 1 MILLION roses and you can save it and play the next day where you left off excuse me while i pack the bong and see you next month.
TWO YEARS AGO TODAY
Monday, April 26, 2004
lambofgod says:
what you doin?
lambofgod says:
wanna send me some sleaze pics?
lambofgod says:
yeah?
raymitheminx.com says:
no i dont have any
raymitheminx.com says:
this is raymi’s christian cousin
raymitheminx.com says:
you are disgusting
lambofgod says:
but its even better
lambofgod says:
im christian also
raymitheminx.com says:
ew gross you are, this is raymi now
lambofgod says:
the christian part?
raymitheminx.com says:
yeh
lambofgod says:
being christian is not what you think then
raymitheminx.com says:
christians are fucked yo
lambofgod says:
thats a fucked thing to say
raymitheminx.com says:
well ok convince me otherwise
lambofgod says:
i believe in jesus … the way he lived and the way he died … an overall cool guy
raymitheminx.com says:
um more like a hippie fag
lambofgod says:
not really
lambofgod says:
could use more of his attitude at the moment
raymitheminx.com says:
what would jesus do? um admit to everything and get whipped with spikes
lambofgod says:
jesus would lend a hand
raymitheminx.com says:
are u seriously trying to brainwash me
lambofgod says:
not at all
raymitheminx.com says:
gross next yer gonna invite me and all my junky friends over for a sleepover weekend
lambofgod says:
i think this anti jesus thing is funny
lambofgod says:
its not a big deal for me that i believe in him
raymitheminx.com says:
ok i feel like an asshole now
lambofgod says:
but its a big deal to most other that i believe
raymitheminx.com says:
why is this yer name it is so gay
lambofgod says:
heh
lambofgod says:
its a band
raymitheminx.com says:
well yah it still is
lambofgod says:
just liked their song
raymitheminx.com says:
even more gay now
lambofgod says:
well … i thought gay was cool kinda
raymitheminx.com says:
anything having to do with religion is the bad kind of gay
raymitheminx.com says:
like people who scottish dance
raymitheminx.com says:
and both my grandparents did that crap
raymitheminx.com says:
so whatever
lambofgod says:
thats what you dont get
lambofgod says:
its not a religion
raymitheminx.com says:
ok its a cult
raymitheminx.com says:
at least it’s not as gay as scientology
lambofgod says:
i feel better thinking thats something more than just my miserable self
raymitheminx.com says:
um ok
Untitled-1 says:
not like i belong to a cult … or go to a church
