late at nite when i can’t sleep and i hear cars speeding unnecessarily all loud and shit i wish for them to crash and explode so i can go out and look and then be able to go to sleep afterward.

house of the dead is only good to watch in fast forward with your eyes stapled shut and your ears blowed off. absolute shit. the whole thing essentially is an advertisement for the video game. there’s nothing to eat but beer and tomato juice. it’s hot outside. possibility of going up north again tonite, though not sure. i have to fix my bike tire, the tube or something. my dreams are fucked up. i did the dishes. maybe i’ll go for a walk. probably not. oprah better be good today.

here’s a stupid story.

one time in law class, grade 11, this big ole burly maintenance guy walked past our class and i screamed out NARC as he went by (at the time there was a lot of narc-suspicion at my school and these weird maintenance dudes showed up out of nowhere doing useless jobs like dust the front sign on the lawn where all the drug dealing happens, shit like that) so anyway i scream this out because my desk was closest to the door and everyone in my class was like OH LAUREN, SNAP!!!!! and then this big scary guy comes back and walks into the room and stands right in front of my desk and by the look on my face he could tell that i said it and he looks at me and says a bunch of stuff that i forget ‘cos i was afraid of him but essentially he said I LIKE DRUGS FUCK YOU.

last nite walking back from the bar i was intentionally wearing my sweater inside out because it still smells like campfire and these three bitches were talking and they stopped when we walked by and one went HER SHIRT IS INSIDE OUT in a tone that meant SHE IS AUTISTIC and it fucking pissed me off LKIHCpoiusakje fbfk;gfp97t g489phfkjvdv ds.g poif!!!! one of the girls was fat and wearing an I’M a VIRGIN t-shirt and she spoke in one of those girly girl voices to try and distract you from knowing she is as fat as a house.

anyway i wanted to go back and be like HELL YES MY SHIRT IS INSIDE OUT but then what could have i have done after that? i’d look ten times more schizo. well i could have went DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? and then lunged quick at them and go PSYCHE!!

I read a manuscript of jamie‘s book when i visitted him two octobers
ago and i breezed right through it in two sittings. the fact that i
know him personally makes it all the more amazing to be reading
something so personal and when he asked me what i thought of it i said
well, it’s shockingly professional, like, a REAL book. and it is.
despite any smarmy editor saying bla bla too long, take that part
out, change this, i say it was perfect the first time i read it and
since having my very own copy it has been making the rounds in my
circle of friends in a major way. ps. there’s lots of fucking in it.

x raymi