coolness update:

i was just watching muchmusic, video flow or something and you know how they’ve adopted the ticker tape text/chat messages from viewers just like mtv (gay) well, some douche bag wrote: MALTON 4EVER! and it went across the screen during a “hip hop” video featuring faith evans and i was like well there goes the neighbourhood.

people not in canada, malton is the ghettoiest ghetto that ever ghetto’d near the airport.

they showed a chick having her 200 lb tumor removed on oprah today. that’s like having a whole person or two skinny bitch persons attached to your body except theyre not persons at all they’re a useless nasty blob that needs its own seat in the car beside you and everyone has to be pretend sensitive about it to you but behind your back they be all yo, when is homegirl gonna have that shit done cut off?

grossest footage ever.

i have a crazy-ass bruise on the side of my ass and fil pointed it out and was like look look look at that! and i’m like whaaat what is it blood? and then i see this gross bruise. the end.

noel made a fun new page where you can edit and add to it and so on. fun.

i have cramps so bad i want to stand in fire with a jug of gasoline.

i am doing all the laundry in the entire universe right now and rocky thinks he is a secret agent but then gets scared for no reason and starts crying and then he comes back to you and gets scared again and then he licks my sweater. we have band practise tonite. last nite i ordered harold and kumar and wasted all of it by being on the internet. i want to go throw rocky into the snow in the backyard and see him disappear and then we will wear scarfs together? i smell.

I Just Won’t Feed the Birds

I will not hurt them.
Not directly.
I will starve them.
But winter will kill them.

this site is so funny i can’t handle it.

drawing bad. just when i wasn’t gay/nerdy/ten years old enough.

excuse me do you want to be in my gang except we’re a good gang and we walk around complimenting people and if we see people being abrasive to one another we hug them and tell them to buy a puppy and we do sign language love song performances in variety stores and when the song is over we pose like how i am in the picture oh and we walk around humming and when we see broken glass we put it in our pockets until we find a proper disposal recepticle and we have charity jump rope contests and we only wear happy colors like pink and green and yellow and the only rule is to smile all of the time and our gang name is the dreamy dreamers and then it changes to something else every other day because we don’t like to be pigeon-holed.

last nite we got RETARDED.

i fell down in the snow ten times. i dragged aimee across the floor on her knees because a romantic song came on and we were solid gold dancers of the nite and then i did it again and fil made a video of it and watching it now i can’t figure out what was suppose to be so damn funny about dragging her across the floor on her knees.

oh and i like the snake now. i didn’t like him before but now i do and i was fighting over him with fil and then finally i said something to him like keep your snake boyfriend then i don’t care but then i’d try and take the snake back so i could put its head in my mouth. his name is Nero. i don’t know why.

aimee’s slippers made my feet sweat and when i took them off my feet smelled so derek gave me gold bond powder as an insult but i put it on my feet anyway and it worked.

everything i say is amazing.