Montreal minxschief

What are you looking at you’re the one walking through the streets singing out loud Memories of a Geisha style. Work it girl. She looked at me funny is all like, I dunno I was exhausted who cares haha.

She was definitely going somewhere awesome.

Here we go get ready for the gong show.

That’s the tambourine someone in our party not gonna name names but it wasn’t me tiefed from the karaoke bar that sister hid under the bed in the morning so he wouldn’t make us kill him from playing it on purpose to torment us out of guilt from the night before probs haha but we forgot it under that very bed and there it is probably still. Damn wanted to keep that trophy. I just remember him coming at me in his underwear just on the tip toe beginnings of smashing it around like hell but I heard the cymbals jingle and shot up in bed, laughing then trying to tackle him.

Old MTL is similar to Quebec City so it’s hard to tell sometimes if this was there or there but our first night touch down I marched us right at that district, we loved it so much.

I was hung in bed, sister took these next ones and or bf. Mommy needed alone time.

I was starving fantasizing about the eggs they said they would bring me but they didn’t in the end so it was an unfair soldier out disadvantage for your hero.

You look tired too N.

But I love these. This is why you’re awesome. Sun is the antidote.

Faking it hard, did I do good.

I was poisoned-level unable to drink this hair of the dog but then a bee flew inside of it anyway and after some french canadian que le fucks? they brought me a new one and we shared it.

It was on tourist trap row so the food isn’t as chi chi as whatever, it did le trick.

Sis has a graf bonheur.

The double decker tour buses were done for the day (THANK GOD) so we took a horse drawn carriage for an hour, it was much nicer.

I copied sis without even knowing it.

I miss Holland/Germany. #SOON.

Stop the world I want to get off much?

Purty. My bud was like so what did you learn when I was defending the horse ride and said we learned lots of shit, oh yeah what did you learn? I have no idea. Gahahah it was a night of pure jokes and Spaghettio got us drunk. Whee.

Making these smaller cos it’s taking forever to load. Sorry. Something about 640 size.

Okay now it works bigger. Urgh. I shouldn’t be pushing my chances with this computer at all though so I will chill. Our tour guide was awesome and everyone we meet ever everywhere (how much does that word flow rule?) has a Rotterdam or Amsterdam story, it’s cool. They all seemed to have escaped there at some point.

Adorbs french whimsy details everywhere.


Pictures like this are the shit. It makes me think of when I lived in New York, BK.

I had a right good week bender here last year too. Crazy how time flies and how different you were then or what was going on.

Happier now.

I’m listening to the cheesiest best salsa music right now, have to in these gloomy climates.

No one wanted pictures that night, f I looked like shit. I wanted to go and freshen up before dinner but no one would let me.

Exciting and delicious.

Then we gave’r some more.

Peace mang ang thanx for the times.

Plus these whaaaaaaaaaaaat.

Old melted blue has lived in my purse for forever I think I chucked him not soon after this if not immediately. This is all I could take for now, happy Saturday pals xo the big RL.

Here’s the day if not moment we fell in love in Aruba. Man wait til I tell you about those two weeks in like ten years or so haha.

Tunnel to MTL

Poor Iggy. He’s depressed. My mom says that so bf and I mimic her every time we look at the Iguana.

Hanging with kids. They asked to photograph my tats.

My cuz’s kids are fun, loved me, ratted on me smoking to Nana after having my back. Funny. We let them loose with our cameras.

After this I got sick and have been MIA pretty much all week.

Mom puts up all the eccentric ones.

I also learned I have shin splints too wtf getting old sucks.

We were singing happy birthday to papa and he was tuning us out (can’t hear anyway) checking his numbers. Lol.

Vic is so beautiful. Okay that’s it for t-giving for today, got tings to do. I’m working on a lot of writing ;) We had t-giving the day before at my aunt’s which was super fun too.

Mo MTL mo probs.

Octopus salad happy Octoberpus! Not the same as squid or calamari. Try an octopus salad one time in your life, this was baby octopus it tastes differently to grown up which is more tender juicy and is maybe the steak of fish if we ruled out tuna steaks. Oh yeah that reminds me yesterday I said Canada is the Americanized Europe.

This dinner was insane and so fun. Thanks Spaghettio! He never tried Impasto yet so used us as a means to eat the restaurant, glad to be of help. Then the power went out while we had our last drink and dessert because around the corner a five alarm (eight alarms?) fire raged through an mtl apt brownstone. We got all of it on camera. Cool night. Oh yeah the kitchen Instagrammed everything we ordered too so our food was like a movie star, famous food. Movie star of the internet. Blaha read that cigarette box disclaimer on the right.

See. I feel badly, these people were in blankets crying obvs it was their building. My bf is a disaster tourist, Euros get away with being inconsiderate so by default? THIS GUY.

What did one enabler say to the other? Drink up. Another good toast is to honour. Can’t come in ‘er come on her BAHAHAH gross. Also, true say.

Sweet potato gnocci it just melted into nothingness. “I died”. And don’t forget the most expensive thing I ever ate. The boys were playing Russian roulette over the menu. We went all in.

A jar full of delish evil.

the jar full of pickled eggplant was damn good I would eat a major bowl full of that.

My friend has a crazy vintage/modern post-modern sunglasses collection amongst a bevy of other wicked treasures. He also had GTA5 and that made someone pacified for a good while, a nice couch sesh yeah.

After a roof shoot. Down the Raymi hole.

In Leon’s glasses.

One of my top ten movies, ahead of Big Lebowski. He’s french too so it’s appropes actually my bf kinda resembles him too. He also orders milk a lot. Fwahah aw.

Okay I gotta go I’m getting nag attacked now peace. Enjoy the weather today how lucky are we!

Nomadic Raymi chronicles

This chick looked like Anne Hathaway to me. I saw her all week long and needed a pic before leaving and finally got one last night. I took the train back first class this morning at 6:45am. I had two breakfasts. The first being McDonald’s the second being the breakfast they serve to the fat cats on train which I just picked at, my eating remorse is something fierce after 5 days and nights of feasting. I didn’t make it to a museum this time but as one pal said, a museum of food I attended instead. By now you guys know how much I love to eat so this suited me fine.

Even though I seemed before like I ate a lot that’s because I only always showed what I ate and nothing but when I was actually combining with that a hell of a lot of restricting. But not this week. Zero restrictions. I check my stomach/body in the mirror obsessively now and can’t tell if it’s regular Lauren bloat or if I am fatter but I am still in my skinny window well enough but outside anymore and I will be too big for my constitution to take. I at least don’t have hardcore eating guilt like old-me would have because I am still in the eating mood, guilt-free forcing self to enjoy it mode which makes you a little less fat than if you were stressed out of your mind imbibing eating. This is a Lemon princess bar. For princesses. French people eating like princesses. Marie Antoinettes. It made me giddy to be around like we’re going on a spectacular eating adventure together no holding back and everyone’s going to love it. I had a wonderful week spent with great people.

We had two bottles of this phenom wine during our four course Italian meal. I didn’t even take pics of the pasta it was so much food. Then we went out and partied. Naturally.

So much red meat and red wine I am lucky I don’t have the gout. I could feel, or obsessed that I could feel my insides, various organs responding to all the excessive f-ing dining I was doing like my stomach was having its own heart attack perhaps, or is that an ulcer over there or what’s this pain from back there, drunk push-ups? Okay good.

They were not in to me taking pictures here at all, with flash, so this shadowy mysterious bird is a cornish hen and it was RIDONKULOUS. Later on at one of the bars we went to I took a flash picture and they got bitchy about that too so I was like I am not letting you people control me and Ari. was like good for you, totally on my side. You can take a few flash photos in a restaurant at your table because I said so.

The best here was the octopus salad which I have a photo of on my phone cos it takes better night pictures albeit still grainy in quality. Anyway who cares blog, who cares.

Meat I forget the name of but we got the last one of. Score.

This bottle stared at me and I it, for days, until I got the text to crack it open and this was a lovely me-time afternoon I’ll say haha.

Just me and this old bat. I saved some for the others don’t worry.

Continue reading


I’d love to say that I am being productive while out here, but I’m not. I planned to write. Instead, I study. Compile.

Tonight is my last night. Then the bender continues in T-Dot. Here here.

Everyone I’ve been spending time with has been on a food bender. It’s been lovely, indulgent, fattening. Delicious wine. Or, délicieux rather. Everyone is singlish and eating, happy. Small-knit group of fashionable hip modern people, everyone is good crazy, loud and expressive and very very nice.

Spending time almost exclusively in pretty, charming, and grand old Montreal has much added to the escapist fairytale dream too, and with the addition of Christmas ornaments, lush garlands of white lights everywhere you look beautiful glowing gold in the face it makes you feel lonely in the most loveliest way.

Continue reading