I’ve got a good one for ya!

I went on a date about a month ago or so with the worst guy ever and it’s funny on many levels because a woman I know went on a date with him too and yet STILL encouraged me to give him a go despite the fact that he is a major POS. We’ll dive into why she may of done that later, it’s a juicier tale for a rainy day. a raymi day lol.

anyway, i had been canceling on this guy for MONTHS I am in no hurry for anybody I am “working on myself” as in living boringly whilst working or sitting alone in my room watching shit on my laptop and healing from my last relationship. relationshit ha ha. going on the odd date what have you…

so this guy is more than ten years older than I am yet an insufferable baby. sending texts eventually swearing at me temper tantrum red flag city style because we live so close and yet i wont make the time to just have a quick meet to determine if there’s a point in pursuing something and not waste each other’s time like buddy YOU are already wasting my time i already know i dont like you i dont neeeeed to meet you for a quick time clinical boring ass thing i will never have a coffee date with anyone i dont even enjoy drinking coffee with MYSELF why would I want to sit across from you and get all over-caffeinated and jittery when I could literally be doing anything else other than that?

Side detail: I go on a hike with this woman who also went on a quick lunch date with him and we’re feeling cheeky so I call him and put him on speaker so she can hear it was just a hi how are you whats up convo no biggie but pretty mean girl and funny too like we were cackling once i hung up.

here is his meltdown swearing at me then saying hes done but next night asking for drinks lol.

so i end up canceling on him again i cant remember why maybe tired from hanging out with my mom on halloween (her bday, i got hosed for $400 ahahah) but in any event he absolutely loses it on me swears at me ill post all the texts after im done writing this. so boom i dont even respond, purely intent on ghosting this asshole and the next day he texts me “drinks?” bahahahha loser okay fine.

already in my uber because i dont want him to know where i live we’re driving to the same spot he is bossing me around telling me to wait for him in the foyer/lobby whatever by the doors um no idiot u wait at the bar like a cool person no way im standing in the doorway but i say okay ya sure totally nice i get there before him i dont see him standing there so i go in to the bathroom and pass by a million hot younger more my type guys all sitting in the bar watching sports its a monday night. i use the ladies check out my fit and hair take a selfie and by the time i walk out again i see him standing angrily with his hands on hips in the doorway like jesus christ dude its just a date wtf is wrong with you i walk up to him and before i can even say hi he snaps at me WHY WERENT U WAITING HERE FOR ME LIKE I SAID something like that and i go BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO but i said it in a cute raymi way. also he looks bloated more fugly than his photos older whatever im sure i dont look as hot as my pics either but whatever. this is off to a great start.

this is what i looked like that night fyi and the one blurry selfie i took before he screamed at me haha he literally called as i shot this pic.

we go to the bar order drinks hes immediately rude to the staff i let it slide im doing super nice voice talk for when im uncomfortable then he starts telling me his baby mama drama woes for ten minutes and im zoning out and then i finally get a window to interrupt and suggest we move to a table the bar lighting was way too friggin bright anyway now we’re sitting across from each other and i position myself so i can check out all the bros behind him watching us like why the fuck is she with this dickbag for and hes STILL continuing his awful ex wife and kids story then i eventually actually told him to stop i was like come on man i dont need to hear all this negativity i get it. got it! good! in no fashion did i make it appear like i was going to “like” him but i was amicable and then started telling a few insane stories about myself i guess to sabotage this entire thing. in the midst of that he was again, rude to our young adorable waiter and asked him for a MAN SIZED BEER PLEASE lol. the kid goes away also the wait time was slow because its monday and as a past server/bartender i know that ur never on your game that night and all the weakest links work that night. so the kid goes away and i say to him, have u ever worked in a restaurant before? have u ever been a bartender? knowing hes gonna say no and thinks this shit is beneath him. he snaps/guffaws at me NO.

I laughed and said it’s VERY OBVIOUS. Then I go on a mega-raymi tangent/defense of the service working industry to educate the privileged angry white man who definitely needs therapy in lieu of dating and he says ya well mcdonalds employees make $20 an hour so like….. how this factors into our discussion i dont know but i say, no they dont. he goes yes they do. i said NO they dont i know a guy who owns a bunch of mcdonalds and i KNOW that they dont make more than i make he goes how much do they make i said i dont know but i know and he interrupts and says TELL ME. i said NO. HE GOES why??

I said because I don’t like the way you are talking to me.

He slams his fists on the fucking table and says THATS IT IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS IM OVER IT and then motions for the cheque so I shut down make zero eye contact fully awkward now Im thinking of my next move. keep in mind at least 20 twenty/thirty yr olds are all watching this meltdown from behind him. I look at the huge TV and the Saints are playing and I love New Orleans would have been a beautiful segue to steer the convo toward so I nicely say do you like football? He snaps YES I LIKE FOOTBALL like enraged that I would even not know that? bahaha so i just chuckled and sat in silence til the bill came he paid it gets up and is like ohhh u came in an uber do u want me to drive you home?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

There is no chance in hell I am getting in a vehicle with you after that explosion bro are you insane? so I just said nope, I am good. I am fine. he is incredulous. storms right the fuck off and im sure if the doors were slammable on his way out he would have slammed one. guess what happens? EVERYONE CHEERS every guy is clapping it was kinda humiliating and awesome at the same time which tends to be my lot in life but anyway i text the girl and be all why on earth would u set me up with that one???

I text a silver fox friend of mine he gets there in 15 minutes its like night and day complimenting me being so grateful to be in my presence all that shit and then we make fun of the asshole date to my waiter and he goes omg yaaa he asked for a man sized beer at me he was so stressful ahhaha.

ill upload the text screengrab receipts later this has re-triggered me lol i hope u guys enjoyed it and it wasnt too offensive i swear a lot and type exactly how i think super fast i just wanna get it out and get back to netflix thanks bye ilu.

update: i just remembered that at one point I said i would like to take myself here on a date alone I guess i say things without realizing their effect sometimes oops.

sidenote update: this place has arcades bowling axe throwing and he didnt want to do any of that actually forbade us from doing so lol COOL FUN GUY! it’s like only the entire point of the joint. we had picked out our appetizers that HE had to OKAY first and i had the menu in my hand getting ready to place the order when he erupted man i hope he is happy with his angry self carrying that around all the time must be exhausting like just having rage be your default response to everything.

He sent me many drunk golfing selfies and i actually texted him that therapy would be a lot cheaper than golfing HAYOOOOOO to which he replied lol. pffft u can lead a horse to water but…