people who don’t like cats are assholes and they’re the same people who think dogs are smarter – FUCK!
WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM!?
cats are better because they don’t make loud barking sounds that make you snap your head around because you are all startled and your heart kind of stops and then after the startled-feeling goes away you then have complete anger and annoyance and have to leave the room altogether because there is a dog and it is barking all over the place and then the cat looks at you and says don’t worry dood i’ll take care of it so he goes over to the dog and punches him with his little cat fist and the dog goes oh ok sorry guy and starts licking his balls and other dog-things until you have to let him out to crap in your backyard while the cat is sitting politely in his little box reading the newspaper taking a doo doo and gracefully covers it all up for you to scoop it out later when you feel like it.
and then barky mcbark bark is all look at me look at me i am a dog bark bark yip and slams into the diningroom table and destroys everything pretty what is your house while kitty larue is telling you to fuck off with his eyes because he has this thing called pride something that dogfuck lacks because dogs are not as cool as cats.
don’t get me wrong i do love dogs i just prefer cats because i am crazy as a loon and bitches like me who are lazy assholes opt for low-maintenance snotty animals who are needy sometimes while completely invisible other times and then when you start crying they come sit on your head and sniff your stupid eyes and nose and feel bad for you and then when you are done using the cat for having your emotional needs met you can go on a bender for a few days, come back and cat is like yo dude WHAT’S UP i didn’t notice you left but the dog is all hysterical, complete wreck of a creature while you were away all of your house is messed and smelly and you are like, I. HATE. MY. LIFE.
the way i see it, if you want a fuckin’ kid, give birth.
people who are manic and don’t know it make me sad
people who are manic and know it make me glad
and amused
anyhow
i sort of had something prepared to type about and now it is gone
i feel like i have written about everything i could have possibly written about or can get away with
something was on the tv last nite before i passed out and i thought must blog about that asshole and so i fell asleep and forgot about it altogether and so here i am.
oh right now i remember what it was, and it was something i watched EARLY this morning and then fell asleep again for a little while and that’s how it disappeared from my brain.
ok so this rant is about eminem and how fucking annoying i think he is and i am sure everyone will agree with me on this – his latest video i saw for the first time this morning (the one where he goes UH RUH RUH RU RU like he is suppose to be pee wee herman or something?) because i don’t really pay attention to garbage television as much as i use to these days because i am very busy talking to cats and sitting in stairwells smoking cigarettes thinking about what cool is….
anyway, what’s up with this fucking honky and why is he still getting away with impersonating other celebs, failed, 15 minutes of fame or not, making a total mockery of the 90’s and putting that crap in music videos over and over and over again? and even calling it a music video HOLY SHIT and that song is so incredibly tacky and sounds like every other song before it and people will say hey shut up raymi i like that song!
and i say
no you shut up
the only reason you like that song is because you hear it all the time in your stupid friend’s car when you are smoking a fatty to whoever’s loser house it is you are on your way over to next and ps if i was mc hammer and pee wee herman i would tagteam eminem and make him eat his poseur doo-rag.
i changed the colour of my hair to be ahead in the game.
lend a hand please return magazines and newspapers to their racks and help us to keep your periodicles in good condition.
are we having fun yet?
are you doing better than your parents?
can anybody beat this guy?
great british issue organic style traveler mountain bike nature
eyeliner 101 mastering beauty’s toughest trick
oprah’s $7 million giveaway!
suffering in silence the new romantic party dress a mother’s pride and fear for her reporter son in iraq dream gifts 51 wild & wonderful holiday surprises ben’s new jen affleck and garner: is it serious? behind the scenes at america’s next top model the new medical miracle wrinkle cure
50+ of the best watches & necklaces fashion: the bejeweled BOHO Plus: incredibly sexy shoes for you the party issue how to throw a fabulous fete 200+ ideas everybody gets something CHIC! your ultimate gift guide your feelings about it won’t fade either
i just read about natalie portman and all those magazine-promisings and all those awful words and now i am headed for the bar.
right now i am showing off my fraudness being cute in the library with my backpack poseuing as a student and acting like i do not have a drinking problem and acute fascinating sadness and tomorrow i have a head-doctor’s appointment.
i feel pretty stressed these days and miserable.
miserable because i am broke and broke because i drink and i drink because i am sad and i have come to terms with this unhappiness ie fully confronted and i am aware of my problems/issues with the world at large i just don’t have the courage to change them.
it’s not a matter of courage, really, it is more of a disturbing laziness.
i have to change the way i look at the world and the matter in which i deal with things, people, and stop waiting for life to happen to me and find a publisher and explain that cuteness sells, and depression is marketable, when you sprinkle it with humour and drawings of cats that can talk.
