<3 sunday
Would you rather be hated or pitied?
I ask ‘cos it’s from a Spice Girls’ song that I can’t get out of my head at the moment. :/
pity is bad it’s like i only like you cos i feel sorry for you, lame. i’d rather be hated.
If you could collaborate with any artist who and why
ala
um someone clothes designy can’t think who
hi raymi,
i’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and i have
to say that it’s the one out of the multiple blogs i
visit that i look forward to reading the most. i love
that you update it so often because i am usually very
bored at work and love having something new to read
throughout the day. also, the multiple pictures are
nice because sometimes my a.d.d. kicks in and i don’t
feel like reading. thanks!
question: how did you and fil meet?
kristin
my mom was seeing this dude who lived beside fil’s mom and my mom wanted me to stop dating this coke dealer guy so she was like FIL MY DAUGHTER IS HOT BE HER NEW BOYFRIEND and then fil showed up on his motorcycle one day when my mom and i were on a walk and talking to fil’s stepdad and i was dressed really slutty and the combination of my whorish ways and fil’s deal-maker motorcycle worked very well and the rest is history.
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me: sigh
merkley???: aw
me: whats new
merkley???: hmmn
not much — same old
i dreamed i was a comedian last night
me: were your jokes funny
merkley???: and i was worried i was preparing to much before hand so i decided to wing it
and it worked better
me: i had very bad dreams last nite
like poison blow darts and this gross serial killer guy
and i was dressed like i was in preschool
walking around subdivisions
gay
merkley???: wow
sounds cool
me: there was a lot of carnage
i kept shooting this guy but he wouldnt die
merkley???: i cant wait to start my next project where i photogaph my dreams
me: and i was trying to protect these little girls
oh neat
merkley???: i thought i told you about that
me: yeah i am saying oh neat about it again
oh not neat?
merkley???: there was a urinal on stage with me
me: thats funny
merkley???: and it was leaky
and i made lots of jokes about it
had a conversation with it
like it was trying to steal my style
me: were you drunk before you fell asleep
merkley???: nope
zero booze yesterday
me: good for you
we drank all weekend long
too much
merkley???: yeah i had many events this week
me: i just want some g rated shit tonite maybe a movie out
merkley???: plus i needed to deny this girl yesterday to make her like me
me: oh interesting
this russian dude from los angeles hit on me on saturday
i bragged about it
he was kind of a monster looking
and bald
merkley???: she is really pretty and i think she might be really smart too and she was way hitting on me friday night
me: he was pretty audacious but had no game
how did you deny her
merkley???: well she wanted to see me the next day and i became unavailable then on sunday she wanted me to go on a boat party with her and everyone else i know but i decided not to
me: do you want a medal
it’s time to clean that mirror.
i have writer’s block.
ask me questions in my comments/by email.
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we walked all the way home from the drake last nite somehow i managed to not walk into any thing or person, wow, sunday afternoon sunshine patios + booze = early nite. pictures to come.
oh yah we walked past these detox dudes:
one asked what we were holding and if fil was a photographer. good luck guys.
April 22, 2007
stefan’s bday drunkening
the rest i am holding onto for blackmail purposes.
hey what are you, stefan?
yes my voice IS that good
oh man it is so gorgeous outside i wonder what magical adventures we will get up to today i am pretty hung last nite for dinner we ploughed through two trays of cocktail shrimp haha they’re virtually fatless and 2.99 a tray. after my 40th shrimp i was over it we made our own ketchup/hot horseradish concoction, that’s what you get tired of, the horseradish wasn’t hot enough, i never thought the day would arrive when i complained about spices and heat. i grew up on potatoes and grey steak.
we played guitar hero II and i was sucking cos i thought i was too wasted but then i took a sip of the magic sauce wine and my skills sharpened like mad and i beat fil’s ass when we play i pretend there are people watching and i get really into it, singing and dancing and posing, posing is important. i am like the dude in beerfest who is chatting up that girl in the bar thinking he is all suave wearing a hugh hefner type get-up says HEY WHY DON’T YOU SLIP OUT OF THOSE WET CLOTHES AND INTO A DRY MARTINI she says what then the camera goes back to him and he has a box on his head with holes cut for eyes and he is actually just unintelligible drunk ramble-slurring at her ahah.
when the water was back on yesterday i was thawing the shrimp in the sink and this huge spray blast exploded all over my hair face clothes everything and it was super loud fil turned around all what the fuck, a huge air-pocket glugged up the pipes and that’s how it went it, pretty funny.
i have bruises on my upper thighs from walking into the organ and cuffing the edge of it, i don’t think there has ever been a time when i wasn’t bruised somewhere on my body fil laughed cos i walked into it again just now i was rippin’ on him hard i cannot tell you why he will be embarrassed.
he made me watch some of that zeppelin movie last nite because it reminds him of his youth yeah fine reminds me of mine too i have a party dad you know, anyway, i was all for it but getting pretty impatient cos of the pointless magical mystery tour rip-off beginning and fil said just give it a chance wait til the music starts, and then the music starts, and you can tell robert plant is high but on what i could not tell and totally butchered every song and it pissed me off and fil took it personally.
i would take it personally if i bought a zeppelin ticket, expecting to hear my favourite jams the way they sound on the record and then dude gets high and shits everything up. yeah yeah yeah plays shows all the time tired of the material blow me write NEW SONGS DON’T FUCK UP A GOOD THING FOR ME. i was not in the mood to watch a tour of arrogant pampered drug addict dicks do shitty show after shitty show on my friday fun nite, if they played the songs correctly then i would have, but they didn’t, so there.
oh great fil is going to write his rebuttal post in a bit.
April 20, 2007
fil had two choices
1. cid gets abused mangled fur skin ripped off punched to death all that
or
2. i get brutally gang-banged but am fine afterward
he thought fine meant COOL WITH IT so he chose option 1 i said DUDE fine means i survived that is all, it does not change the fact that it was brutally violent and traumatic and painful and disgusting.
so then he chose option 1. and said but he will find the guys who did that to cid and torture them for a loooong time before killing them.
then i had to choose between fil being gang-raped by THE CAST OF TOP MODEL or my dad’s cat rocky being ripped in half and other bad things.
!!!
so then this escalated to me saying FINE 1. I GET FUCKED BY EVERY SINGLE HOT GUY IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN AND YOU HAVE TO WATCH AND I HAVE TO ACT LIKE I REALLY ENJOY IT AND IF I DON’T THEN YOU GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE or 2. CID IS BEAT UP AND STRANGLED DIPPED IN HOT OIL ALIVE THEN EATEN ALIVE AND YOU CAN HEAR HIS SAD MEWLING.
please ‘splain the amount of peroxide bottles in your blue box, hair-stripping party or bomb-making party?
Sabrina: i am trying to teach myself how to budget
that is my new thing
me: budget
ew
Sabrina: i have never done it
me: this is how i budget
spend all the money in my bank account until it runs out
Sabrina: i am the sort of person that spends as much as humanly possible until there is nothing left and then i am like a face with a BIG HUGE QUESTION MARK on it
hahahahahaha
me: then mooch some of my savings off fil
then next month do it some more
Sabrina: that is me
me: yep
Sabrina: and on that note I THINK THIS IS SUPER CUTE
me: i am not really a purse person
i see it as a thing to carry my junk around in not an accessory
Sabrina: i am the opposite
i like to have something in every color that i might possibly feel like
me: i would rather have a slammin outfit and carry around a garbage bag
Sabrina: i am using a seafoam green purse now
me: i dont like chicks who use the bag to compensate for their ridiculous garbage ensembles
Sabrina: haha
me: HI THIS BAG IS THE SIZE OF A MINI COOPER AND I AM DRESSED LIKE A LIBRARIAN
Sabrina: hahaha
but i do not dress like a librarian
me: in one word tell me what my fashion style is and i will say yours ok you can use more than one word, you are cavewoman roofies chic
Sabrina: hmm, you make androgyny femme
me: hmm yeah
Sabrina: like an outfit that could be interpreted one way on someone else always looks good as hell on you
me: androgynous cheap poser slob
Sabrina: hahaha
me: thanks!
dinner from sometime last week, diggin’ the fake grill marks on the chicken. i let fil eat the POtayTOES.
me: im putting up this totally embarrassing conversation
about budgeting
everyone is going to be on my ass about it now
whatever
Sabrina: fuck them.
me: yes
Sabrina: you can go ahead and boldface that for them
and just cause we’ve said it they will be bitchier and read more frequently and with more fervor HEY ASSHOLES THIS IS ME PULLING A JIM MORRISON AND YOU ARE FUCKING FALLING FOR IT–GOOD GOING LOSER-MINIONS.
me: maybe i should wait for them to leave a comment first?
Sabrina: haha
well, someone will be bitchy within the hour i bet
haha
me: yes
bitchy within the hour
haha
Sabrina: oh man, i already hve some new guy being bitchy on my blog
cause i changed the template back to what it used to be
and he was like YOU FORGOT YOUR LINK TO YOUR WISHLIST
“sorry asshole, i did not–i just changed the wording. shut the fuck up”
and he was like OH MY GOD YOU ARE A PSYCHO, THIS IS BORING
good. don’t come back. it turns out. i don’t fucking want you to show up and feel like you can say whatever you want.
me: i love when they say it is boring
Sabrina: I MEAN, I FEEL LIKE I AM 12 OR IN HAPPY GILMORE. “NO! YOU’RE BORING!”
me: “your blog is so boring i will be back tomorrow”
Sabrina: hahaha
probably
i usually memorize those people’s ip addresses
so i can be like LIAR. FUCKING LIAR.
me: i have a pretty long list
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wife swap is on tonite at 8 or 9? i need one of those mic headsets that are online like those computer/video games so i can talk to other people who are watching wife swap at the same time here are some of the things i would be saying:
OH SHIT
I WOULD PUNCH THAT GUY FOR SAYING THAT
WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA?
etc.
formidable stuff here, friends.
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