i have not eaten all day long last i ate was yesterday afternoon i have pictured eating a million things the last three hours, it is sober nite i guess fil is going to have kd and i wanted to go eat at a restaurant he said no i said fine i will go alone if i have to then i imagined a thousand visions of me sitting alone on a patio starving out of my mind and feeling awkward and people are talking to me. cid barfed on the floor twice, hairballs, i left them there for fil to clean up.
i don’t want to go to a movie cos then fil marches us there and i have to eat a sandwich while walking and the entire world pisses me off then i am sitting in a movie theatre totally flustered and i put my face in a bag of popcorn and if someone laughes a little too loudly i will think all these insane things to write about them in my blog tomorrow.
i’m writing something for vice but today i was just too depressed to do anything and something else came up, i have a good deal of it finished the tone is “too serious” so i am psyching myself the fuck out about it, it’s a guide you know their a-z guides, if i get too over-worked about it i’ll take out the a-z part and just i dunno organize it differently. i will finish it in the morning.
oh fil is home i will let you know what he thinks about cid’s barf party on the floor. oh he doesn’t care.
we watched sicko on friday, it’s online yeah you probably already knew that, anyway, fucking d/l it i had no idea you yanks had such a shitty healthcare deal. fil and i want to move to france now. it’s insane to think that a nation that considers itself to be the greatest in the world can totally turn its back on their people’s healthcare needs, disgusting, totally fucking disgusting. i need to watch it again. the socialism propaganda scare-tactics blew my mind completely.
anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
my nose is so red and burned it feels like i got punched and i am starving and the organic obnoxious bananas i bought friday aren’t ripe yet STILL i am going to drown myself in the bath.
if you are bored out of your fucking mind go look at my flickr page there are photos from this weekend up i am too overwhelmed to html them all over here right now when people say html don’t you feel like punching them?
ps my nose is psychadelic fluorescent red i need a nose mask.
I can’t stand it anymore! I have to send you this pict of my b/f when we were in Chicago two Springs ago. I think fil and he could totally be bros, which makes me like your total BFF right now right? Way cool! Just kidding, yeesh.
He’s making that dorky expression because I was goading him for the photo. Normally, he won’t let me take photos of him at all and if he does, he screens them because he’s a freak. His shirt says, “Idaho? No – U-da-ho!” with an outline of Idaho. Yeah, right: like I’m da ho.
Mind you – we’re no spring chicken anymore. He’s 32 and I’m 37 – but don’t worry, I think we both still qualify as hotties. Alas, someone asked me today if I had gotten highlights – I said, “No, it’s fuckin grey hair you twat!”
So, if we ever make it to Toronto, which we have been planning for about two years now, you could tell us where to go so we wouldn’t be like complete dumb-asses fucking up what could be a rockin good time up in there.
He needs to get his passport though and I am tired of reminding him – that’s why we’ve not gone yet. Btw, he will KILL me if he knows I sent it to you, fyi. Pls be kind.
we went away finally i was going to lose my fucking mind if we didn’t my nose is extremely red i can’t tell if it makes it look bigger or smaller alright tv time i have some funny stories to share but i am too exhausted/drunk/hung to figure out a good way to condense them wait i’ll try and i will caps lock for added effect.
WE WERE TRASHED FUNNY TRASHED AND HIDING IN THE WOODS SPYING ON THE PARTY WE JUST LEFT THAT WAS WINDING DOWN WAITING FOR THE OLD FOLKS TO GO TO SLEEP SO THESE COUGARS COULD SNEAK AWAY WITH US TO THE SCARY HOUSE WE WERE STANDING STILL IN THE DARK AND THEN GAVE UP AND I USED MIKE AS A GUIDE TO LEAD ME TO THE HARBOUR AND HE WALKED THROUGH EVERY SINGLE FUCKING BRANCH LEAF EVERYTHING SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE THEN WE LAID DOWN IN THE DIRT FOR AWHILE SO TARLEY COULD GO DO SOME SPYING AND WHEN WE LEFT THE HARBOR TODAY TO GO BACK TO THE MAINLAND ALL OF MIKE’S BOTTLES FROM WHERE WE WERE LYING DOWN WERE STILL THERE.
forget me nachos, eat them and you totally forgot you did unless you have a picture to look at the following morning.
hell’s!
that was longer, i cut it yesterday to be more whimsical. i bought it originally to wear on my birthday but it was too cold and i was going to wear tights too and i didn’t feel like having a pear-shaped disgusting look all night long. i have that in black too i might cut it, we’ll see, you kinda have to pose like mariah carey if you wear it a la buff and when i say mariah carey i mean big ugly tits and stripper shoes.
don’t know the story behind this party, no one really cared, just you know, a fire guys, whatayagoinado?
fil does a me.
what did i order?
aimoo! she whisper talks i never noticed that before. aimoo said in school in alliston kids said she was brown and ate weird food. don’t you just love white trash?
fil had two burgers yesterday must be nice.
i can’t bring myself to eat the tentacles, battered i can, grilled, ungh i can’t believe i am even looking at these now sorry seafood lovers you are fucking weird.
i was just thinking about the last time i was at h&m at oakville place and i was looking at the cheap 7.90 shirts and i had two shirts slightly different shades of grey and i asked this girl who had piles of i dunno more glamorous shit in her hands and i asked her what shade of shirt i should choose and she chose the one i didn’t want and i asked why did she choose that one and she goes i dunno and i hold up the pants i was going to buy beside it and asked if it was too matchy and she said yeah i guess so. i bet she thought i was a dickhead, why would i ask her advice if i already had my mind made up? also you are not suppose to talk to strangers when you are shopping cos then it emphasises the fact that you are buying shit you don’t want or need or even like which is counter-active to the zombie spending money therapy.
have you ever been to oakville place? it is mental, like rodeo drive in a mall, little slutty girls everywhere with their dad’s credit cards and everyone is checking everyone else out, and the cougar mothers barrrrrrrrrrf. it feels like planet biodome california, like the hills, i swear, everything is like that these days. tube tops, hair extensions, wedge flip flops leave me alone you are not on your way back from laguna fucking beach!
progress, this is called my pain canvas, fil and i got in a fight one nite and i wrote all those emo sayings on it.
paint is still wet, have yet to re-do the sharpie outlines.
it’s really hard to focus when ugly little kids are slamming the universe in the park when the windows are open.
this will be finished a quarter to never, you can call dibs on it if you want.
me: I’M TRYING TO DO SOME PAINTING BUT THIS LITTLE KID IS SLAMMING A ROCK OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN AGAINST A POLE IN THE PARK AND I AM THIS CLOSE TO ASKING THE ADDRESS OF WHOEVER IS WATCHING THE KID SO I CAN GO TO THEIR HOUSE AND SLAM A ROCK AGAINST THEIR FENCE A THOUSAND TIMES LATER ON WHEN THEY ARE HAVING DINNER.
Phil: uh oh
me: RAGE titall killed my painting mood
Phil: titall, eh?
me: totally i meant ha
Phil: tits i mean totes
me: i changed my mind i cant have spadina gardens i have to eat the ********** at ******* tonite
Phil: ok i am fat anyway
me: AW dinky! baby you are adorable THAT KID IS STILL SLAMMING HIS FUCKING ROCK LOUD FAST LOUD SLAM SLAM SLAM GO AWAY NOW SOME OTHER KID IS DOING IT TOO WITH GLASS
Phil: it is a make raymi crazy conspiracy
me: IT SOUNDS LIKE CHAINS ON MY BRAIN I HATE CHILDREN DIE the women watching must be super hung or on tons of tranquilizers theyre just sitting there all calm
Phil: pills man
me: everytime my finger touched a paintbrush SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM how ironic what i was working on is called my pain canvas
Phil: haha
me: what time do u want to go to the ******* i invited aimoo she said she is back d/t from work around 6.30
Phil: oh ok i dunno i wont be outta here till 6 anyway
me: ok 7ish
Phil: okish
me: vice guy emailed me im going to work hard on it all day tomorrow and write it all i am too annoyed to think right now fucking asshole kids
I’M TRYING TO DO SOME PAINTING BUT THIS LITTLE KID IS SLAMMING A ROCK OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN AGAINST A POLE IN THE PARK AND I AM THIS CLOSE TO ASKING THE ADDRESS OF WHOEVER IS WATCHING THE KID SO I CAN GO TO THEIR HOUSE AND SLAM A ROCK AGAINST THEIR FENCE A THOUSAND TIMES LATER ON WHEN THEY ARE HAVING DINNER.
last nite’s dinner not an adequate wine base oh well the scale will thank you in the morning.
light cream cheese instead of goat cheese, pre-chicken.
fil brought home stinky cheese AGAIN. i say bring home whatever cheese you want, something i will like though. ungh. i made him these even though he spilled wine ALL OVER my new fucking pants and sprayed me in the ass before that with a spray bottle. my pants are drying in the tub.
i was most proud of this guy, he was the end of the loaf and had all these bread pockets to shove chicken and cheese and basil into i am a fag.
don’t ask me what that cheese is i will barf on you.
