i have a youtube account now. look i am givin’er to where the streets have no name.

running to stand still. this one is very emotional, guys.

red hill mining town.

in god’s country when i finally blow out my voice, it’s hard singing bono.

+++

i talk a lot.

Hey Raymi,

I’m gonna be gay and tell you I’ve read your blog consistently for the past couple years, and have probably subconsciously thought at one point ‘what would Raymi do’?…gross, that I just wrote that. Anyways, I’m coming over to Toronto at the end of July to see a friend’s show, I’ve stuck to Vancouver as far as Canadian cities go, and I have no idea what to do with the five days I have there. Any advice?

Sarah

guys, do you have ideas? aunt raymi is hanging with aunt flo right now.

it’s wilheim! he’s been reading my blog since 2004 we lost touch i emailed him out of the blue a few days ago and boom he’s in town on business. fucking awesome guy.

on to dinner at epic.

requisite gay friends pose.

meeting of the minds.

what’s this?

yes my water could totally be more pretentious, thanks for asking.

complimentary quebec foie gras mango basil vodka shooter when it came over i thought oh fuck someone is in love with me and fil is going to punch them in this nice restaurant, but we all got one.

wilheim’s.

best hearts of romaine ever and people who brag about salads are pieces of shit but i am searching all around my mouth for any remnants of flavour.

wil, lamb. we were kinda blasted and he was in the bathroom when it came and was placed before me i had ordered the sashimi carpaccio style and fil was like well i guess that’s how they do sashimi here and i figured ok i guess he’s right hahaa.

v. cheesy i couldn’t help it.

fil, beef tenderloin with lobster tortellini.

me.

is this the same as the other orange fish on the other plate, i know it’s salmon, the other one tasted like salmon too, i dunno why it’s on a separate plate, is it extra? oh well.

waiting for chopsticks, what pretentious assholes.

i wouldn’t shut up about how i don’t eat dessert, this was amazing, vanilla bean creme brulee, i could have eaten it all but we shared.

a very fun nite.

i busted out these bad boys i’ve had since i was 19 and fil said he liked them but was like i don’t know the you who wears pants like that, oh so you are only comfortable with me looking like a slob, ok.

oh yeeeee-ah! a plaque!

holy shit get lost in my eyes much? yes.

it’s nice that the city decorates skid row island for the dudes with shopping carts and plastic bag collections.

nice car thanks what do you drive oh i don’t, i have a chandelier.

chandelier jokes? anybody? no? i must be drunk still.

she signed it!

ok what did one chandelier say to another?

is chandel ‘ier (here)?

and who did we visit?

will be posted later.

imagine this coming up your staircase and it is high on shrooms

more here.

my shroom story is we all tried to cram up the stairs in stupid costumes of this tiny stairway on halloween and got paint and crap and garbage and hair (from costumes) all over the walls and finally made it to the top and like exploded onto the landing on all fours laughing and screaming and there was a tiny modest party going on and i dunno why we all tried to cram up the stairs at once it was fucking claustrophobic hot and scary and funny then we partied on the porch of this house for three hours not leaving it wasnt even halloween til two days later.

i told everyone they were boring before i went outside.

in one of my pockets is a huge blunt that i swore i didn’t ever have and a month later we found it, i ruined halloween cos no one got to extend their mushroom high. you try going throuh 50 pockets when you are tripping out. noel was in thailand when we found it, naturally, we smoked it immediately. craig almost punched me he was so steamed when he pulled it out of the little army satchel thing, he is like raymi i BET it is in that pocket right there and plucks it out, then i called noel’s place and left a voicemail screaming that we found it.

you shoulda seen noel’s costume, i don’t think he is allowed to go back to that house cos of all the paint that got everywhere. hahahahaa.

here we are when the drugs wore off, 2002 yo.

i have told this story on my blog before i remember cos my mom commented saying i don’t like the drugs but i think this is hilarious. go mom!

ok this is noel’s halloween costume leftovers oh man.

fil is a red room fan and everytime we rarely go there i get to hear stories about the food he has eaten there. i like green room better cos it is dark and mysterious and has couches, red room’s scene is pretentious and awkward and i don’t really enjoy myself there.

they have “vermicelli” though. the noodles aren’t the right kind but it tastes alright enough, you have to dump your own garlic flavour sauce on, the chicken and eggs were cold. pass.

the red room curry is different than green room, different as in garbage, and no brocolli, carrots, peppers, chick peas either.

anyway all my shots of it turned out blurry cos of the couple beside us, obviously on a first date, not even boozing the awkwardness away, they were staring at me curiously. here is a pointform list of everything the guy said (who looked like he plays a lot of world of warcract, black sneakers black socks, shorts to his knees, glasses, fat face, not in shape the girl wasn’t exactly elizabeth hurley herself, anyway)

-i HATE high heels HATE them turn off totally turns me off i like girls in sandals in long skirts, barefoot which means: please be my girlfriend, if you decide to be i will let you let yourself go all you want, and i do not like things that i can’t have which means girls who wear high heels, also, i am short. then the girl says but what if your girlfriend wants to wear sexy lingerie and heels and comes at you and he says no nope no turn off, completely turns me off. ooook.

-man like society, you know, i can’t stand people who view it objectively, sometimes you know i just have to take a step back and say this isn’t for me.

-then they told each other how shiny each other were and he asked for the dessert menu oh man.

-fil and i are splashing his beer head at each other and it makes the couple stop talking everytime like we are future-them maybe or fun is like, disgusting.

that’s all i can remember for now, the guy made me really hate him, instead of waiting for the bill they BOTH got up to wait in line behind 5 people to pay together – ROMANTICEST MOMENT EVER.

GOT REALLY DARK OUt oops caps then pissed rain.

I AM LANCELIONIVAT RULER AND PROTECTOR ‘ORE THIS BAR OF NERDS.

I AM A DRAGON YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR ME LANCELIONIVAT YOUR TRICKSY SPELLS ARE FUTILE AGAINST MY GREEN BALL OF WRATH WREEEEEUUUURAWR!

BLAST BLAST BLAST PEW PEW SWOOOOSH TAKE THAT!

SHWEEEEEEWOOOOOFOOWUUHH BOOM WHIZ!

i wrote that.

ROFL.

this skirt doesn’t fit me right, you can have it if you want, it was forty bucks, just get me a couple glasses of jameson’s, fair trade.

so what happened at the show last nite i am too lazy to type it as a whimsical story so here it is in chat format:

me:
i ploughed a girl last nite at a concert
she was being passive aggressive
i was going excuse me excuse me to get by
she wouldnt instead she pretended not to hear or notice me and put her elbow out into my stomach not touching but to block me
so i said really cunty OH SO YOU’RE NOT GOING TO MOVE THEN?
then just plowed thru her
she was fat and shorter with glasses and ugly hair
oh and i was standing on a million broken beer bottles all this broken glass
and she wouldnt move
THEN her short bitter portly friend as we are in front waits for fils back to be turned taking pics and i got shoved by her i slowly turned my head and body around to see what the fuck and had the crazy eye and the girl got all flustered and said sorry and really meant it then stepped away from her friend and me.

the most annoying thing about nerd magnet bands is the type of nerds that come out, they think they own the band and fuck you if you get in the way, i like them more and this floorspace is mine, fine, i just want to get around you if you so much as sigh as i do so i will set fire to your LOTR fan fiction I MEAN IT!

last nite inspired me to write a guide to insecurity.

please PLEASE remind me to tell you about the first date couple we sat beside at red room before the show oh MAN.

+++

an email from liane:

lauren,

liane.

i am smirking like an imp because this dude is all up in fil’s space telling him how to take pictures and he just wouldn’t shut the fuck up or detect that he was annoying the shit out of us. i think he was on blow and he was partying in the break your heart dive next door.

after the ours show, which was amazing, best show since datarock. i will tell you a story after i get some caffeine, about a passive aggressive nerd girl.

a street dude was giggling uncontrollably lying sideways on a vent with his elbow propping him up behind fil when he was taking this then this street woman goes over to him laughing too hunched over cackling. nice.

i swear this is a fucking nerd magnet band, but i don’t care, if you like and swoon over jeff buckley you will like this guy.

+++

if anyone cares this is what i use to make coffee everyday because i am living in the dark ages and i boil water over a fire in the park. then i let it simmer, do its thing for a bit, press the shit down, then put it in the fridge when it is cooled off enough and drink it the next day with ice and milk who wouldn’t want to marry me?

then i look on from the kitchen and washing dishes with a little girl as fil plays battleship with some boy.

and everyone is happy.