organic lesbo lunch from noah’s, those things are awesome, the pre-made meals.
mere moments before our near-miss airbag exploding collision, the rest of the ride to the ‘burbs was on-edge, you know heart-racing adrenaline shakes.
i wonder if that hole has closed yet.
nice nosefuzz.
when i was a kid and everyone at school made fun of my big nose i used to look at it in the mirror a lot from this angle to console myself, i thought it looked smaller and if everyone else could just notice my nose from this angle they would shut the hell up.
there’s this great place in burlington i forget the name of, i totally comfort-consumed all day long sunday, period + stress = food booze city.
got that for my dad, brother and i ate the majority of it, hi here is a present that i am going to eat, you’re welcome.
also got him these to put up those retard me and brother pictures on his fridge.
stink-eye is a very important part of my family it is the glue that binds us.
dad and brother both had one of these i had a salad and mooched off this, there is another layer of roast beef under the one with all the gravy on it.
mom’s cougar purse i don’t have to rip on anymore cos everyone else does now i am extending the opportunity to you guys, passing on the love.
so tired here and annoyed and trying to get my drink-on to obliterate my mind while mom is nag nag blah blah blah.
wasabi chicken salad, really very good though i had garlic indigestion bloated stomach for several hours afterward and could still taste it in my mouth. that red thing i don’t know what it is, edible, tasteless garbage garnish wow burlington jack astor’s you’re so out there.
my brother and dad basically make fun of me about EVERYTHING i wear, and constantly too.
THE WORST SALAD I HAVE EVER ORDERED IN MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE FROM CHAP’S.
it was comped off the bill. the chicken was burned so they tried to cover-up/compensate for it by dumping loads of creamy gorgonzola barf cheese all over the place and you’re also supposed to put on bacon vinaigrette, it was disgusting, way too many flavours going on, i didn’t even bother ordering something else it killed my appetite that bad. it should be taken off the menu, maybe tomorrow afternoon if i’m bored i’ll email head office a long piece of my mind note and maybe get some free shit out of it.
the service was terrible as well. i shoulda known, the “fun” play on words DIXIE CHICKEN AND SPINACH is a big red flag.
merkley???: i dreamed i went to toronto and you were very rude and your friends were all jocks and you made me go to a football game and the field was half asphalt and half weeds and basically everything sucked
me: I FUCKING HATE FOOTBALL what a shitty and inaccurate dream
merkley???: well i was quite surprised by it all
me: what was i wearing
merkley???: something red and kinda tight — not good fashion — like i said, it wasnt what i expected i was pretty shocked at your terrible hosting skills i was with someone else and i kept apologizing to them for bringing them because i promised that it would be a great time and they would think you were great
me: i am a very good host actually, like bend over backwards nauseatingly over-courteous
merkley???: but you kept making fun of her for being “american”
me: ha what a dick did i have good burns?
merkley???: your jock friends were actually getting in my face trying to start a fight no the whole time i was thinking — wow — how does someone have such a different online persona samir was a total dick
me: the only time i am a shitty host is when i ignore everyone while they are over and read my comments ha even samir was in your dream what was fil like
merkley???: fil was standoffish he wasnt blatantly a dick it was more you siding with all your jock friends and not letting go of the snide “american” comments
me: well i dont have jock friends i dont know anyone who plays sports actually
merkley???: plus you kept insulting my friend ha ha
me: what was i saying i bet your friend sucked and deserved it when you werent looking she was being rude to me hence the suck
merkley???: it was obviously opposite day in my dreams my friend was totally fictional –
me: what do you think this dream means you are apprehensive about meeting me and coming to toronto cos you are a scaredy cat penis
merkley???: sunday night i went to a party where the hosts were really bad
me: well thanks for taking it out on me in your dream
merkley???: i mightve checked my rss and read a snip from your blog last night and combined it all toronto was a total shithole ghetto weeds everywhere cracked pavement milkweeds that get white goo all over everything
me: nope sorry
merkley???: it might take me a week or two to forgive you i’m scarred
me: when fil cheats on me in my dream or me on him in his, when we wake up we hate each other he gets in trouble for being bad in my dream and i resent him all day
merkley???: ha ha yeah well i am resenting you right now
me: the other day he said bla bla should know better when WE are on our period
merkley???: you need to apologize for your bad behavior and your lame jock friends
me: im sorry i hung out with jocks and was mean to you in your dream and made fun of america via your mythical friend, merkley and i wore a shitty red tight outfit
merkley???: when i woke up i couldnt remember my dream — it was only when i saw your name that i remembered that i was pissed
me: HAHAHHAA wow you are really affected
merkley???: anyway, that was only my second raymi dream, in the first you wore that meat dress
me: i wonder what my stalkers feel after they dream about me and it is awesome oh right i dreamt about you once rght i forget i musta told you
merkley???: yeah i was awesome and tan
me: oh anything else
merkley???: i only remember being tan and thin and i had my shirt off or something
me: well thats pretty much all i ever aspire to be so good work ha that did not happen
merkley???: basically i was the cover of a romance novel
me: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW my dads cat looks like you rockley hahahahahahahhahahaha
merkley???: not even close
me: sorry man hair to face ratio is dead on
merkley???: plus you were wearing a weird bra that made your boobs look like a mans chest i was gonna say something to get you back but i decided to take the high road
me: is our friendship over
merkley???: i think you wore it to fit in with your jock friends you might have actually been a dyke in my dream ha ha
here is a video of my brother snapping my mom in the head with a rubber band while she is crashed out in the waiting room at the hospital.
that is my take on the whole FREEDOM SCARF look, i am a white upper middle class piece of shit from mississauga and i understand what is going on in israel right now and i just feel so fucking compassionate about the whole thing i have to let the world know that i give a shit and NO this is not just a party scarf accessory representing how much of a poseur i am wavelength nite at sneaky disease stop copying me.
oh this is interesting, i used the term freedom scarf as a joke cos that’s actually what urban outfitters called it when they sold it but now they don’t, because they are ignorant and racist apparently. YEAH HIPSTERS!
it is like 6 in the morning in this picture, got shitty sleep as in NO SLEEP cos my mom got the guestroom, i am not wearing make-up, that room was like a fucking morgue, when i was sitting down i had ten blankets on me, i looked like a crazy visitting from the psyche ward, my hair was all fucked and the nurses had to act like it was normal.
+++
everything went fine!
thanks everyone for the well wishes!
i want a fucking banana!
everytime i go to the burbs i get lods of zits and i come back on the train looking like greasy trash.
my dad is having a necessary procedure done tomorrow that i have been obsessing over in my head since i heard he has to have it done, they have to stop his heart and revive him, it’s all i have been thinking about, they do it in the morning and send you on your way in the afternoon, very little chance of complications they say, but still, i’m a nervous person so i am dreading the worst while trying to be positive, anyway, my entire fucking world will come undone if he kicks it so uh, yeah, good timing menstrual cycle. i’m going to hang with him today and sleep over tonite and i printed out some copies of my brother and i making ugly faces pictures for him to enjoy.
I’m gonna be gay and tell you I’ve read your blog consistently for the past couple years, and have probably subconsciously thought at one point ‘what would Raymi do’?…gross, that I just wrote that. Anyways, I’m coming over to Toronto at the end of July to see a friend’s show, I’ve stuck to Vancouver as far as Canadian cities go, and I have no idea what to do with the five days I have there. Any advice?
Sarah
guys, do you have ideas? aunt raymi is hanging with aunt flo right now.
it’s wilheim! he’s been reading my blog since 2004 we lost touch i emailed him out of the blue a few days ago and boom he’s in town on business. fucking awesome guy.
yes my water could totally be more pretentious, thanks for asking.
complimentary quebec foie gras mango basil vodka shooter when it came over i thought oh fuck someone is in love with me and fil is going to punch them in this nice restaurant, but we all got one.
wilheim’s.
best hearts of romaine ever and people who brag about salads are pieces of shit but i am searching all around my mouth for any remnants of flavour.
wil, lamb. we were kinda blasted and he was in the bathroom when it came and was placed before me i had ordered the sashimi carpaccio style and fil was like well i guess that’s how they do sashimi here and i figured ok i guess he’s right hahaa.
v. cheesy i couldn’t help it.
fil, beef tenderloin with lobster tortellini.
me.
is this the same as the other orange fish on the other plate, i know it’s salmon, the other one tasted like salmon too, i dunno why it’s on a separate plate, is it extra? oh well.
waiting for chopsticks, what pretentious assholes.
i wouldn’t shut up about how i don’t eat dessert, this was amazing, vanilla bean creme brulee, i could have eaten it all but we shared.
i busted out these bad boys i’ve had since i was 19 and fil said he liked them but was like i don’t know the you who wears pants like that, oh so you are only comfortable with me looking like a slob, ok.
oh yeeeee-ah! a plaque!
holy shit get lost in my eyes much? yes.
it’s nice that the city decorates skid row island for the dudes with shopping carts and plastic bag collections.
nice car thanks what do you drive oh i don’t, i have a chandelier.
chandelier jokes? anybody? no? i must be drunk still.
