the following is ME!:

toothpastefordinner.com

upon walking outside into the gusty cold with my trench coat on and knit hat and dumpy boots i looked at fil and said i look like a crazy don’t i. he said yes, but it was a good thing. fine.

quick dinner at rolu.

dragon DARGON roll.

unagi maki. we also shared some yakitori, it was really slimy.

so brian who runs curve, he’s having a boy, remember that popstars reality show? he was a judge on it, i think he was like the simon, simon before simon was simon. i didn’t get a picture of him or his wife, fil did though if you care.

aw brad the sentimentalist, i wrote that ages ago and SOMEONE put eats poopy (gay) and blogs about it beneath it. i WILL find you! i bet it was gill or tiff.

when you see this face comin’ at you it’s time to go home and do it.

or hug it out whatevs.

last nite was a bit sloppy, that hair treatment seems to have tinted my roots, lightened ‘em right up.

v. proud of this one, points for fil.

unnnfgh hi.

brad was in great form as per uje, i asked him where he got his jacket (a hooded leather jacket!) he goes uhm ah you know, LM, L&M, you know? no brad, i DON’T know.

i got red wine on my dress, not my fault! i took a sip of someone’s water bottle that had dribbled red wine all over it, then i dumped salt and soda water on the stain and sat in my stupid wet dress for the rest of the nite. the salt did nothing, just one of erin’s moves to sabotage me.

hahaha

TWO orders of nachos AND a pizza that’s how top form brad was, fuck. yet another one of erin’s sabotage moves.

brad’s signature picture fuck up.

seriously what the fuck is going on with my face.

toasting erin’s move to toronto.

welcome to the dark side.

last nite’s shite weather screwed with my hair.

ok i’m going to cut this post in half.

i’m in brad’s office at gibson right now hangin’ with a bud drinkin’ white vino and she is FULLY BLOWING MY MIND TELLING ME ABOUT DERMOID CYCTS HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THESE THINGS!!!? now i’m pretty sure i have one too great! she basically has a golfball sized hair eyeball and TEETH lump inside her goddamn it’s the the movie the fucking gate! hang on i need another swig after that. so she was experiencing pain right where i was experiencing it for the longest time CAN YOU SAY ULTRASOUND FINALLY!

dudes, if you know what’s good for you do NOT google image search ‘dermoid cyst’ alright i’m fully going to barf later. oh and if you have one and were wanting to keep it, you’re not allowed so now we are talking about women who eat their placentas oh god you’re welcome!

the reason i’m in here is cos i’m hiding from the surprise babyshower out there and someone was cunty to me, i tried twice to insert myself in a convo then peaced out.

i’m wearing my yellow supermarket dress cos earlier today i had a power deuce and it skinny’d me right up guys! awesome!

dudes i’m booooooooooooooored talk to me in comments, ask me questions, brush my hair!

oh great and now i have cramps.

i just remembered i brought grey goose ORANGE FLAVOURED vodka it’s in my flask.

i’m going to entertain myself with old pics now

havin’ a rest waiting for fucking axl to show up the diva.

this picture makes everyone sad, the two on each end are no longer with us sigh. 2006 xmas.

jamie and rory.

dermoid cyst!

what were you doing when you were 19? this is what i was up to…

my mom the hottie.

i keeps it real.

die mannequin chick i nicely took a picture of before she humped my face.

i have gnarly ass cramps right now i can’t even get up we all just hit the ‘quila.

what is up.

i’m the one with the stuffed bra on the left near the rabbit.

whee!

some words of wisdom from 12 year old raymi.

melodie and i lookin’ like sisters.

my 23rd bday.

sharpies 29th bday.

(2006?)2007 new years we stayed in cos fil was sick.

wow i was pretty whimsical when i was stoned.

it came!

sorry for the sensual tongue doods, ew haha.

messy mirror sigh.

i like how these glasses bring out my sam crenshaw nose.

baubles addiction.

put them together, go nuts.

just in the nick of time too cos this guy busted in new orleans, haven’t gotten around to fixing it:

this post needs more pictures of me.

fil bought a new speedlight. it costs as much as a coach purse.

so we went to the jay’s game two nites ago, we were winning the whole time ’til we left and by the time we got to the bar it was 6-3, shit.

oh well at least we sat in seats that weren’t ours.

oh and i got blogspotted too by beth, hi beth! we were sitting in the same row, when pitt and fil went to the bathroom at the same time i got to pretend like i wasn’t a totally awkward loner and made facial expressions like i was really into the game, i think she bought it.

it would have been appreciated to have a head’s up that the serving of alcohol was going to be shut down oh around the 7th inning? upon learning that it was all dried up the thirst went through us something crazy, we chewed up every single piece of gum in my purse, including the free nicorette samples.

then we went to the loose moose because that’s a gravitational pull pitt never fights, after one i said fuck this lets go to casey’s whereupon we discovered we are treated with more respect AND it’s happy hour 8-til close, monday to thursday. solid.

so i’ma hate on coach purses right now, three years ago you could easily substitute coach for louis vuitton, what’s next? you guys are fucking sheep. yesterday at the jays game in the john i saw a little girl stressing the FUCK OUT by the hand dryer over her mom’s bowling bag sized coach purse, something had spilled in it, the mother was by the sink standing guard over the contents of the purse wringing her wrists while her 7 year old daughter held up the inner lining to the dryer saying it’s finished and the mother looking over saying NO it isn’t. terrible. way to bestow your shitty priorities onto your daughter, owning “luxury” goods, coveting them, spilling juice all over the inside of them at a baseball game, demeaning yourself in the toilet and ruining your daughter’s good time because this stupid bag is the centre of your status symbol desperation universe. do you guys realize how stupid you look clutching these things and like you don’t have a handful of two season ago LVs in your closet you can’t use anymore cos that tacky pink is SO OVER, what a disgusting waste of money and for what? all you did was prove how much of a spineless fad following dickhead you can be. you sit around pining over a fucking purse for clowns! and you broke the bank too! and when you go out on the town you have to hold that baby so tight under your arm you get pit stains all over it, it’s on your mind the whole nite out, on everyone’s mind, cos your stress spreads. i don’t know what’s worse, the lot of you who put all focus into that stupid bag, or the ones who pose as if it isn’t your reason for existing you act all blase about it like oh yeah martin can you paw-ss me muh coooch purrrrrse.

so people are supposed to be envious of your 400 dollar purse because you made the moronic move in obtaining one? you know what else costs 400 dollars? A WASHING MACHINE! A WEEKEND GET AWAY! ENOUGH FOOD TO FEED A STARVING FAMILY FOR THREE MONTHS YOU STUPID SELFISH WASTE OF SPACE!

so thank you for inciting nothing but pure embarrassment on your behalf within me, that’s it, cos i know what you’re doing, i know all the careful deliberate thoughts and intentions of possessing one of those things, you pathetic poseur.

when you buy into frivolity you think you look like this:

when really, this is what you look like:

enjoy your life.