took me like, ten hours to draw this.

new nook at my reg. japanese joint, this is a good sign.

email me if you live on staten island my friend pokey (a girl) needs a date, you don’t have to be perfect or anything, she just like wants a pal, you can even be a girl, and you can go to a horror movie together, anything you want! but you have to be decent and cool and fun. *UPDATE* you can live in manhattan or brooklyn and sometimes queens!

DUDES OMFG GROSS! see how long you last watching this! my score is 41 seconds.

after top model we decided to go out on the town, which translates to going to the fox n fiddle to play megatouch and drink cheap martinis and listen to open mic.

hurry up fil!

now i’m not a mixologist or anything but i’m PRETTY SURE a keylime martini doesn’t look like this, or taste like pineapple. drank it anyway. the ‘tender said they were 3.50 (i knew they were 4.50, didn’t correct her) and bam four (mine, fil had beers) later we get the bill and i say yeah you said they were 3.50 and she snaps yeah well i’ve been doing this 2 years so i know they’re 4.50 and then she shows me the little sign i say yeah i get it, but you said 3.50, she goes i’m pretty sure i didn’t (so did, fil heard it too) anyway, don’t turn cunty on me cos i’m correcting you, if you’da shut yer trap that 4 extra bones would have been added to your tip, idiot. yeah i was pretty blasted. fil stopped me just as i was about to give her shit about her “keylime” martini that she had the gall to say she made really well. OH YEAH and she flirted with fil right in front of me too i just remembered! she goes HEY don’t YOU work in a bar or something? lame. baby, you’re a 6 at most, he’s like, a 10, forget it.

ps. i’ve been drinking here longer than 2 years and i have NEVER seen you before.

sunglasses land!

2 are fil’s, the rest are mine. bok choy flower is still kickin’ it.

fil took these.

alicia is in the middle of a summer nail polish crisis (her period) so i went the distance and gayed out all over my babies. yes it’s true, exercise makes you(r blog) gay and boring. AND skinny. this little activity was about to get supes anal/OCD so i halted it. thanks for the blog murterial risha (that’s TWO links to yer blog in two days now)(you’re welcome)(learn how to link back to my blog).

i think i’ll put that periwinkle blue on my toenails next.

and here we have the uh, boring paired down soldiers, i don’t know any beauty terms sorry.

oh fine, something for the boys, courtesy of fil:

arran: hey, you should take pictures of all of your nail pol-
oh you already have
pisssssssssssssss

me: i havent even blogged them yet stop stalking my flickr

oh yeah, i forgot to brag about taking out the recycling.

I TOOK OUT THE RECYCLING.

so last nite at the bar after dinner this guy shows up and sits beside fil and chats up the bartender, his name is mike, the bartender not the dude, anyway blah bla, after their catch-up, dude pulls out a novel and reads it whilst simultaneously eaves-dropping on fil and i’s game of twenty questions (i was lindsay lohan, fil was obama) (and hey eaves-dropping at this bar is my thing pal!) and so deeper into his book he gets and then he says out loud OH-NO! and gasps, then keeps reading. i tried to stealthily stare at his eyeballs to see if he was speed-reading or had that CAN’T BLINK SO EXCITING reading face on.

that was the funniest part of last nite, for me.

oh also, the dude down the hall who habitually whistles his fucking head off when he’s cruising the floor, same guy i deduced probably didn’t have the internet cos he has a newspaper subscription, welp, i overheard the clacking of typewriter keys last nite, so that’s two proofs now of no internet. i inform fil of my typewriter discovery and he all personalizes it (typical fil) and says that he enjoys the paper, yeah yeah that’s fine but you’re not a fossil hermit who whistles constantly out of boredom and loneliness.

god i am so fucking right i am restraining myself from writing further about how right i am cos that would make me no better than the whistling geezer down the hall.

IF YOU HAVE A NEWSPAPER SUBSCRIPTION AND A TYPEWRITER AND YOU ARE IN YOUR 70’S THEN YOU DON’T HAVE THE INTERNET STAMPED IT NO ERASIES!

AND YOU HAVE A TYPEWRITER BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE WRITES LETTERS TO THE EDITOR TYPE GUYS!

haha accidental pun, typewriter, type guys.

yes i have gone out into the world today ok shut up! and i wore the success dress and matching big red umbrella and everyone was in love with me and it poured and i went grocery shopping and now i will work out bye.

oh noes my signature move has been captured!

slobkong*: minxx where is chicksss??
B-)

me: um
hi

slobkong: B-)
sexy girls, hot chicks, where can I find se?

me: oh you could just like go to google and type in: sexy girls, hot chicks,

slobkong: minxxx
i really need manaa use your contact

me: i dont understand

slobkong: MAN hot chicks, take me with you
USE YOUR CONTACT

me: are you fucking with me
like, for one thing you are TALKING TO A HOT CHICK RIGHT NOW

slobkong: I am not fucking with U …
but I w2ant to FUCK A HOT CHICK

me: how old are you

slobkong:

me: ok that emoticon doesnt really answer my question
you want me to get you laid but you give me nothing to work with
on top of that you make me think you have a learning disability

slobkong: old means???? you want to take my
huge cock

me: bingo!

slobkong: learning disability… yes i realy want to learn dirty game
do u teach me

me: ok you are so fucking with me now
who are you

slobkong: am not fucking with U …
but I w2ant to FUCK A HOT CHICK

me: how are you on my chat system

slobkong: MINX who call you for HOT CHICK contact #???

me: how do you know i have minx in my name

slobkong: All the buddy call you MINX
***** HERE YOU FUCKER
B-)

me: why are you swearing at me
and what buddy?

then i blocked him cos it started getting scary and i looked up his name and turns out he’s all over extremist messageboards yikes where’s the ativan.

*name changed