i don’t really feel this dress, buh, flattens me right out and has extra ruching around the waist for what, for fun?

in the words of molly shannon I HAVE SKINNY LEGS COS I LIIIIKE TO DRINK!

oh yeah i had the kung pao chicken salad and there was nothing kung or pao about it.

please give me dinner suggestions thank you i feel like punching through a cement wall right now i am starving like bananas, it can’t be making dinner too lazy/hungry for that, and it can’t be anything fatty or carby or any of the restaurants we have previously boycotted oh and it has to be not too many blocks out of walking distance either as i’ll have to claw my way there on hands and knees and stomach i’m that hun-gee! fil’s sense of humour is on its period rght now so he isn’t of much help, plus evening activities are MY dept. oh nevermind we just reached a decision. looks like i’ll be having a bunless burger tonite.

i got a small sized levi’s skirt circa 1999 (2 dollars was supposed to be 50 cents according to meryl but she was wrong, green tag day is not monday, white tag day is monday) from the salvation army fuck it could even be late 80s, the point is it’s highwaisted, no, not the blog, and the only way i can pull it off is by tucking a shirt in, which i have yet to road test. are you a tucker-inner? i’m not, fil is when it’s cold and i never tire of burning him on that, he tucks in his t-shirt and then layers a sweater over. oh and this skirt has a slit up the front, i know look out peg bundy. we’ll see how long i can hold off turning it into a suicide mini skirt, oh and it can only be worn on a skinny day the thing goes more than halfway up my goddamn torso. this post is basically a hello new world of tucking in shirts it’s been so long how’s grade school been treating you? tell vanilla ice i’m on my way over.

dan was the headliner at sunday’s jamboree chez emm/sean‘s, before that andrew played before him, and then it was wolfkraft (<3!) the entire experience was so so cute and fun, very hippie'd out, lots of kids sitting with star sunglasses on, good friends and family, sigh. i have a lot of sweet footage and more pics you will get to see sometime this decade i swear.



anything you ever needed to know about every single fashionable japanese girl book, i ate it up.

poor sod wow i totally feel for that dude.

actually, miraculously, i LOST weight this weekend wtf.

NAPOLEON, GIMME SUMMA YER TOTS!

huge typo there raja i can’t talk right now though guys cos i’m DINNING.

gluten free urrea.

saturday nite we went to last temptation to eat, stupidly, the meal way bummed me out, we walked all over the market and passed up everything else and by the time we got to last temptation we (i) (fil too i guess) were crabby as hell. we got a spot near the open window looking over the patio and all the gross people smoking, totally disgusting, i have a full on hate for patio eater smokers now if you want to fight about it with me lets fucking go!

desperation saturday morning (well 3pm) meal, stir crazy and fil’s sickness metroid playing meant lauren has to make the decisions.

i’ll spare your eyes a picture of the egg whites addition, just picture barf and you’re gold.

im not allowed to share with the blog world how ludicrously awesome my bush cultivation project is coming along unfortch.

thanks fil

bluh i’m deliriously fookin’ tired right now i’m gonna give’r a try now nite.

my winnings, i threw my key chain in for good measure and instantly regretted it cos i heard table speak of someone coveting it and the witch craft mind games psyched me into winning.

i was trying to mom everyone into banking their points, cos if you fuck up you can lose everything once you get on a greedy roll, you can also encourage someone to keep going cos you know they’ll eventually get a shit roll.

aw my poor zitty face.

had a loverly weekend in st. mary’s and now we’re back and it’s 2.47am and i want to spew. i took two pepto bismols when i got home cos i felt it coming on, eating a thousand au gratin old dutch chips, green tea gingerale and some pepperettes is a bad scene for a 2 hour late nite car ride home. fil accidentally woke me up and i flew out of bed going oh man great now i have to ride this bullshit out awake on the couch i have the stomach of a grandmother i need to mainline some club soda and alka seltzers or eano whatever that annoying commercial was about what a party. here’s some of the fun in no particular order…

i spelled existential wrong, ya, you try asking a 2 year old how to spell that when they have a bunch of uncapped markers in their hand and you are taking up valuable real estate at the kiddie table you weren’t invited to. yeah just google it for me will ya, thanks.

more deets later. cid is being a totally selfish dick right now cos the window is open and i’m up and he’s elated to have his peeps here seriously cat now is NOT the time to go through fil’s bottle cap collection holy fuck! speaking of fil, check out his swank new siteroo!

oh yeah i had two well three zits happening this weekend too and i thought about them 50 hundred times way to ruin my game. i also invented the term tyra BANK IT! from playing pass the pigs, i’m awesome. no i’m not pregnant thanks for asking me in the future when i eventually get to bed and wake up and check my comments you stupid sow.

too many carbs this weekend.

sheena made a blog devoted to her saddam painting check it here.

bonus HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!

emm and i had a girl day while fil and sean worked on the netz, i got two new pairs of shades, two things from salvation army where i saw FOUR mennonites (they had a yahtzee board game in their cart) and then we played the slots, i won 25 bones, emm won 125! everyone in town had a case of the muuuuundays and was cunty to us i swear it man.

oh yeah we had absinthe last nite, like, a lot, and we mixed it with green tea gingerale (have you tried that stuff yet?) after like a jillion drinks. i also won ten bucks at pass the pigs i LOVE that game.

awkward rap battle. if you laugh, you’re going to hell.

i had a bad dream last nite and most of you were in in thanks a LOT dicks!

anyway we are going on a magical adventure today and you’re not invited!

BURN!

i have to get in the shower cos SOMEONE is being a NAG asking me every two minutes when i’m done watching awkward rap video and finished drinking my coffee you know it takes longer every time i get interrupted! jeez!