alicia was cast as the token whitey in a hip hop music video and they told her no arms above shoulders, that’s white girl moves, not allowed. these shots are for you, kid.
i’m sure matt will love this one he’s doing serious guy posing with babe face. look how much of a tranny i am in heels.
so last nite i got 3475943 pieces of cut-eye from yuppie white lady celeb groupies it was great. we went to this film fest party on the parking garage roof in yorkville, free booze and food that’s all that mattered. the drunker the women got the bitchier their facial expressions. waiting in line for the port-o-potties there’s 4 line-ups for the women only stalls, meaning no dudes, it doesn’t mean women can’t use the other four johns that no one is lining up at so i of course take the initiative and a cool chill wall of tsks and clucks are at my back as i walk to the “dude” toilets, leslie came over behind me immediately and said oh i can’t let you stand there alone those women are giving you the foulest looks right now. i said i know i’m so nervous you take the next toilet that opens do me a solid here please, then two open at once so i take one cos doofus guy is all after you to me yeah thanks guy can you not detect the pile of tension we are surrounded in right now? it wasn’t even worth it cos there was piss everywhere and i couldn’t even see and there wasn’t a mirror and of course when i got out of there a huge line of women waiting. what are you mad about? the fact that i thought of it first? really, you are mad at yourselves for being stupid and wasting your own time.
when we arrived there was this red carpet you had to walk and the hired photog nabbed the group of us for a picture and i am giving blazin’ hot stink-eye to these two women who are eyeing my stupid socks (GET OVER IT) and looking away, eyeing up down, look away chat whisper so i held my gaze on them until they got to my face and shook my head with my eyes like slits and then our picture was taken, for the next one i overdid open mouth happy face pose.
the only reason i wore what i wore is cos fuck, i’m going to be myself, i’m not going to don the same get-up as you boring rich clown nobodies just cos it’s film fest. newsflash, you all look the same and have the same useless boring conversations, you’re bitter and i’m just trying to get along.
sorry PMS over here.
this lady made me feel tons better about my tickle trunk outfit:
at one point leslie and i were making our way to the stage cos ronnie was ripped on scotch and talking really pervy about all the hot women and we wanted in on that but on our way there of course one drunk woman was like OH YEAH OH YEAH STAND HERE IN MY WAY like making it impossible for us to get by, she was like the chasm by which the entire traffic and flow of people had to pass duh so i say in my sweetest voice WE ARE TRYING TO GET BY YOU and she goes ‘oh’ in a tiny oops voice then goes back to dancing and swaying and clapping and witching about. hostile audiences are so cliche, like really first concert in 5 years? why not take a relax pill. so anyway we are at the front and ronnie didn’t say one fuckin’ pervy thing to us, everyone around us though, and only chicks 50 and up, didn’t want to disrupt the flock i guess. lesson learned. those birds buy his records.
now i will say some positive things about last nite, we had fun, we love our friends and they love us, it rained but that was alright cos between us we had two umbrellas and it didn’t pour just sprinkled, the bartender we favoured was drunk and queer (his words) and had the best one-liners and made our drinks ridiculously strong which is why i’m partying with a chill pill right now and some pepto on the couch, perfect way to greet the red tide. ugh.
abusive old guy next door just fired’er up again, i opened my door wearing only my towel, the yelling was even louder in the hall, i put my face up to the door and said really loud (practically yelled) STOP YELLING AT HER! then slammed my door. he was yelling at the time so i am not sure if they even heard me. i think he did. the yelling continued a little longer but now it’s over. i have the adrenaline shakes like mad i just put some clothes on so i’m ready for round two. i am prepared to face this geezer fuck makeup-free face and all. a door on our floor just opened and closed, sounded like someone left? now i have to wait a bit to leave. i know anyone else around on this floor totally heard me so now they can’t fucking pretend anymore that it’s not happening. there’s weird noises going on in the hall, moaning or something, ugh. i feel like i am going to faint. i hate that guy so much, every time the vacuum lady does our floor he waits for her and comes out to chat her up like he isn’t the hugest prick in the world.
the only thing stopping me from telling this guy off before was guilt over how much noise fil and i make when we have friends over or if we are fighting, which is stupid because when we fight we aren’t verbally abusing and screaming bloody murder at each other. we have normal fights if that makes sense.
i have a mini fantasy of kicking his door in and throwing cid at him.
oh fuck i do hear crying.
PLEASE be my imagination.
it isn’t.
here comes rambo.
ok it’s more or less quiet now thanks for tuning in.
me: i yelled at old guy next door thru the door
Phil: whoa crazy
me: yeah i feel tense!
Phil: no shit
me: it was bad yelling im sick of it i dont care what he thinks she does wrong, he is senile and abusive and crazy
Phil: yes
me: i almost wimped out and wrote a note and was going to tape it to the door like you are an extremely abusive man, stop yelling at your wife, it is disgusting.
Phil: you could still do it
me: next time now that i finally got over the fear of saying something i have zero tolerance
Phil: good
me: but it means that u and i cant fight anymore, unfortunately
Phil: oh no!!!!
me: we can write each other terse notes instead
Phil: sounds good
me: in pencil with lots of underlining and exclamation points
Phil: i will use red marker
me: i am going to copy the angry faces my french teacher used to draw
in other news i watched like 4 episodes of sweet sixteen last nite, i was a bit sad and moody to begin with, and with each passing episode i hated myself more and more but for some reason i still intend to watch the rest of the episodes. then i watched baby mama, it’s alright. steve martin’s character is my FAVOURITE though!
WOAH just got the craziest news! found out a family member who had MS for the last 6 years, turns out, actually doesn’t. so pumped!
check out all of sean’s other junk. i guess it’s safe to say he’s a funny guy. it will be interesting to see how long we will last sharing the humour spotlight.
oh look, wendi reviewed lick’s nature burger for fastfoodcritic! we are so proud and fil says, “now i NEED licks”.
here we are raymi stuck in this old gold mine just as sad as we can be seems like a long long time since we laughed and played together YOU AND MEEEEEEEEE how i wish that we could flyawayyyyyyyy oh raymi
sybil sadie i know what you mean i felt the same way too i wanna get back home again just as much as you theres no one here to guide us but we have the strength inside us sybil sadie
oh raymi
I GUESS ITS UP TO YOU AND MEEEEEEEE WEVE GOT TO FIND A WAY TO GET BACK HOOOOOOME THIS TIME WE’RE REALLY ON OUR OWWWWWWN WEVE GOT TO GET AWAY FROM CABBAGE JACK AND GET BACK HOME AGAIN THEY’RLL BE LAUGHTER INN THE CABBAGE PAAATCH AGAINNNNNNNN
i think i fixed the flash issue, thank you rachel in AK!
so now i am watching the rest of the ME videos here and here.
i am also watching my steak video and am about to put’er on youtube. i am wearing a bra in it and black leggings you might like it. and yes it begins with me going HI GUYS. ugh i need some game lessons. i also treat myself to a little brewskie midway through.
