and did i hallucinate that chris cornell feat. timbaland video just now? cos i can’t find it anywhere online. it was, well i don’t know what it was but i know that it WAS. i was hypnotized and i think i liked it. i think. remember i’m hung so everything is amazing to me right now.
as you can tell i’ve been having a really productive day in bed watching television and now i want to super glue my eyelids shut. don’t get me started on what not to wear. FIL BRING ME BACK COFFEE RIGHT NOW I NEED MY BRAIN BACK.
see this m-f’er, did YOU do this? you are not a nice person whoever you are, you purposely set out to take money out of my pocket. awesome solid gold look at you what a shining star you are! now if someone wants to buy it with its tear-added street cred, let me know. or it can be patched. the drama behind this piece is redonkulous.
i exchanged this for another one cos the cup area was missing thread, should have just sewn it cos the one i have now the foam boob padding is lumpy and now i hate this dress but i’ll still wear it to fil’s work party and the whole time i’ll be self conscious about my lumpy padded tits (as well as ten million other insecurities that pop out of nowhere at these such events). lesson: always buy the dress you try on, no matter what.
good thing i have a reserve of thousands and thousands of pictures on my laptop that i’ve been too lazy to get to. i am going to wipe down that wall the second i get off my ass.
i didn’t even notice the 6 fingers (ok! five fingers 1 thumb you nerd prick) when i bought this.
but now i am epicly huuuung. one of those nites that start out innocently enough, dinner with fil’s dad, then ten bazillion glasses of wine later and wii bowling at samir/sharpie’s and i’m pretty sure of the lot of us i drank the least. sharpie and i had to walk to every ghetto variety store in search of celery salt, they had none, so then we ventured to the least harmless looking old man bar to ask for some and have a gratitude shot. sharpie swears the bartendress had a british accent, i swear she was just dumb. *EDIT* it has been brought to my attention twice now that this reads like i am saying sharpie is dumb, no, you are dumb for reading it that way. i was doing a “bit” here people, thanks for not getting it. the bartender looked dumb to me. that’s all. end of story. her mouth was open as we were talking to her, people who require open mouths for their brain to function are stupid, FACT.
today is going to be radical.
they buggered fil’s new prescription glasses, one lens has no prescription at all, amateurs. what else is we can’t find his original pair and he’s blasted still and blind and we are both half-assedly searching for them, bonus i did find a new hippie necklace in his drawer. what’s this? i asked. i dunno can’t see aw. then we got in a discussion about the old ten and twenty dollar bill i gave him in the drawer.
i will answer all of your questions from the comments in the previous post throughout the day in slow motion, thank you.
huh what time is it you ask? oh well just you know, time for my favourite picture depicting my current state ever at the moment, what’s up mike?
fondly, Hugh Janus.
*update* found the glasses, they were in my sarah palin jacket pocket.
oh and i took care of two bday gifts for him too. how selfish is fil for having a birthday so close to christmas?!
now that my camera is busticated i have to force fil to take pics of me, annoying. my favourite time to take crappy self-portraits is after a glass of wine, emptying my bladder then beer-goggling myself in the mirror, snapping a ton until i get the right one, likely just how the ole pentax bit the dust. anyway, after disciplining cid (fil did) last nite immediately after i asked fil to take some pictures of me. enjoy. or don’t.
my abs are starting to get their shit together as well as love handles.
here i am asking if i can list that cooler on craigslist. the answer is no. oh and get a load of the sauce from supper on my chin.
yesterday was a good hair day, who knew washing it did that?
a relic from 1999 i took from the laundry room library collection. practically every book i’ve donated has disappeared too. i shall gift this to fil’s ex for xmas.
i told fil the top right corner one is what my body looks like in my head.
i got my buddy zeesy to make a doll in the likeness of my niece for her christmas present, isn’t it great!? i bet she will adore it and not let it out of her sight for one fucking minute.
zeesy is having a fundraiser at switch contemporary cos she be broke in japan right now so all her toronto artist pals (me included) are having a group show, i’m donating a painting or two, go check it out DECEMBER 10. ps. i’m pretty sure if you asked zeesy nicely and waited until the hustle and bustle of christmas was over you could commission her to make a doll in your likeness or your kid’s or cat, anything she is incredible! fil bought me a nerdy stuffed guy off her a few years ago i’ll find you a picture of it in a minute. BYE!
i didn’t drop it or anything, i think the battery is cacked or finally the camera itself is. GREAT. PERFECT TIME OF THE YEAR FOR THIS AWESOME WICKED RADICAL. went for a tan, took a few stupid pics of myself as uje and then the lens just wouldn’t close. met up with fil for thai basil and all the waitresses and waiters gave me crabby looks cos i chose a four seat table for the two of us. oh whatever it wasn’t even busy there. now my stomach is goofy feeling and i have a dumb tan line on my back (deciding to purposely have tan lines cos i’m a 70’s porn star all of a sudden?)(in my head)
the grinch who stole christmas is on right now (magical) but i am totally bitter and stressed and hatin’ on this season everything keeps goin’ wrong, little things adding up, like for instance, combining my cell bill and rogers on demand cable together without my asking for it calling them up and making my voice sound as crotchety as possible on the voice detect operator thing-a-whatever and then feeling immediately guilty about it once the female robot voice responded back all cheery.
we rented step brothers. will ferrel you better deliver the same canned shit you always do I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO USE MY BRAIN ONCE OVER THE NEXT 1.5 HOURS.
i did not notice the boner or the fact that it was a money card. thanks fil.
fil don’t smudge it k i won’t. ugh. i put in a fiver to be funny. the mom sucks is in reference to this. when my dad read this card out loud to us he was like wow it’s just like a movie everyone was killin’emselves laughing, when he got to the mom sucks part my mom went WHAT!?!?
i forget what look i was going for yesterday, drugged?
since laying eyes on damon’s shoes many many years ago i decided i will not die until i acquire something like them. i think i have a few times over by now, old man shoes on girls fetish colour me guilty.
this is my impression of you.
are we there yet?
beej face.
that brie was really fuckin’ good.
supermarket garlic bread cannot be beat, am i alone in wanting to eat it as is or like smearing the garlic butter all over my face and hair and body?
dad if you don’t find that DAD sweater ornament i am going to tear apart your house looking for it.
my brother was all DID YOU TAKE PICTURES OF MY ROOM once i came out after a teeny little break, no, but i did when i first arrived OF MYSELF not your room, egomaniac. funny how people never ever change, my brother is so possessive and territorial of his shit, me i could care less go through my stuff, i do not care, let me know if you find anything good. if i ever busted into my brother’s room as teenagers and so much as moved a book one hair of an inch, he’d know and flip the hell out. dude there isn’t anything worth photographing in your room other than my reflection. chill man. fil has him for kris kringle, i think he should get him some kind of furniture to fill up space.
asked if i could borrow this, guess what the answer was. too funny seeing as i leant him my copy of about a son over a year ago no problem.
delicious carrot cake my aunt made.
shirt matchy.
fil and my brother were both wearing sweat hoodies and i kept getting confused when either one would call my name, make fun of me, etc etc.
hahahah nice.
as much as things appear to change they really do remain the same, comforting. this was a good christmas warm-up practice. mental note, bring more wine, drink less the nite before
happy birthday dad xo.
oh yeah we watched the zohan movie and believe it or not it isn’t at all terrible, we were surprised. the ads were misleading. it is safe to rent it, trust me.
ok so i still have two tickets to give away for this:
so what you have to do to win is either 1. make a youtube video proclaiming my amazingness however you want, explaining why you are deserved of attending this wicked holiday party or 2. design a raymi blog background or 3. bribe me somehow
you have til whenever i decide it’s over to complete these tasks. go!
ps. the ding dong who googled ‘site:raymitheminx.blogspot.com for-sale’ wtf. desperate much? it’s not happening.
