tomorrow after my THE RAPIST appointment, meeting the real deal guy for the first time super early (for me) i am doing something cur-azy that i’ve been subtly talking about for awhile now FOR MY FIRST TIME EVER. a promise or gift rather to myself for losing weight. i am both nervous and excited about it, stressed but kind of in shock because i don’t really believe it’s going to happen yet, and it will be filmed don’t worry.
lookit what my nice little buddy miranda giveded to me for freezies, right after she got in a mini car accident and we dropped off her unicorn painting. man that one half day w/o a camera i felt so, so, empty and useless. i had lunch with sharpie/samir at the gladstone that day while cameraless and you notice so many fucking things that nag your eyeballs and you can’t do anything about it.
s-p-o-i-l-e-d.
rocky, sigh. my dad has informed me that my niece is now a “bad girl” wuh-oh. gonna have to have a little aunty talk with her over christmas.
singing and drumming is hard, but how i tried. video evidence of that garbage to come.
NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! FULL HOUSE SPIN-OFF! excuse me while i find something suitable enough (think, moon) to JUMP OVER! i am beside myself with shock and awe and disbelief and glee i might even puke. this is like bringing someone you actually give a care about back from the dead. i have to go squeeze something until it explodes brb.
i have to go back and write some more bio cards up for each one, many had F words on them, family place right? i get the walls for two months, wicked. once the crazy of xmas is finished i’ll have a party, and add more paintings. i love you grapefruit moon!
fuck, i was hungry.
so there now you know where it is, 968 bathurst and this street. i wrote about GM before here their food will blow your brains out. (haven’t figured how to quick search old posts in wordpress yet that’s why i linked to blogspot, whatevs.)
then off to switch contemporary to drop off a painting for zeesy‘s fundraiser this wednesday dec 10 (you MUST go see she will be making a live appearance all the way from japan! and you can bid on some amazing art)
rush home to get ready for fil’s work party where i pretty much did the complete opposite of all my rules, I DANCED MY HEAD OFF!
this sweater swallowed me up too much in this dress, so i did not wear it after all. i wore my beige cardi for like one second, that place was balls hot.
dropped hat, yo nikes i know you want it if you could just look under there you’d see the hidden treasure beneath.
so frustrating.
banquet food is hit or miss, this was miss.
somewhere in there would be turkey.
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiianne! her sister works with fil omfg quelle surprise! liane is back from shanghai, she was my favourite buddy from my england exchange and now she’s all grown up. i’ve been trying to dig up nerdy pictures of us from back then but can’t remember any search terms i used in the original post. here’s one for now.
then it was snl couch time, i didn’t even drink when we got home cos i obvs got blasted enough on wine at the work party. SMART. don’t worry i wasn’t the only one.
what a day.
then i woke up at 5am in an upset stomach panic remembering every stupid thing i said and did at the work party, refrained from taking a chill pill, an ultra strength tums sufficed. the only thing fil is concerned about me sharing with his coworkers was how cid nuzzles his ear and paws at him like a baby everyday. phew. good thing he didn’t overhear all the other shit i said.
ps. do not fall asleep with a band-aid on you would barf if you saw what my finger looks like right now.
um i have not see ONE fucking pigeon or rat you passive aggressive little babies. next time put in your notice something about loud abusive yelling THEN i will consider not feeding my little friends. yeah and thanks for the lesson about bird germs. see how i am treated in this place? hahaha. right now the squirrel is enjoying some popcorn sitting on top of the zero gravity lounger ACTUALLY staring in at me to tell me he needs more food, not kidding.
-snow white
sliced my finger on tin foil, like a paper cut EXCEPT TINFOIL guess how great that felt! i was secretly thrilled because it gave me an opportunity to use my new my little pony band-aids.
cid’s ears go flatter than that when he sees the squirrel.
how is that even comfortable for you?
learning matt’s camera, it’s coming along. ps. fil JUST got that new canon 5D mark ii that all the camera pervs are sweatin’ about. apparently thousands of people are waiting for this thing, like it’s the iphone of cameras. L-O-S-E-R-S. i am ten times more invisible now. thank you 5D.
amazingly tasty president’s choice tandoori chicken wings, the cause of my injury.
+++
cocaine much? how’s whitney? i dare you to watch this to the very end.
check out In My Bed Magazine, they’re new and did a little feature on me in the november issue that i was too lazy and selfish to bother linking to/mentioning. they are always looking for submissions, talent, you know, stuff magazines do/want.
so tomorrow is fil’s christmas work party that i said yes we should attend, one part due to curiosity (what do these people look like?)(and i should let these people see what i look like, it’s only fair) and one part novelty, ok mostly novelty, and yes i am nervous about it. they know his girlfriend of four years is an artist of some sort and a writer with a popular website, they have nagged him for the url and he has been adamant about denying them access. basically i’m going there with zero material, which is great for this situation (not really) when your personality is uh colourful it’s kind of hard to be comfortable in a work atmosphere setting. when they talk shop i am going to be grinning my brains out and nodding so hard i’ll set off the fire alarm. fyi work nerds it is rude to socially alienate your co-worker’s spouse, and i know you don’t do it intentionally, you just have fuck all to say to this stranger. it’s kind of insecure.
i went to a work xmas party of fil’s before a few years ago, different company, i was bigger then and my hair was selma blair short = NO GAME. plus i was wearing a really bad dress. sometimes you think eccentricity will carry you that last mile, and sometimes yes it will and does, but mostly, sorry, it so doesn’t. in this situation especially. no one “gets” your babysitter potato sack dress because their focus exists in the corporate world alone. all they “get” is that you look dumpy and unladylike.
i cannot say the word raymi once tomorrow nite, i get to stumble over my words and accomplishments and what i normally have ten answers for i must tone down to one, or two. luckily at our table there will be a talker, you know you say something about a sprinkler and turns out this person invented irrigation.
your partner’s work function is NOT your place to shine which i guess is the root of my fascination of attending, smile nod, smile wider, show teeth, agree agree agree – because it is the complete opposite of who and what i really am, i feel like i am acting for the nite. i dunno, i get off on uncomfortable situations perhaps?
i feel fraudulent all the time, i feel inadequate all the time, i feel everything all the time, so whatever.
this was supposed to be a goofy little guide now it’s just a note to self, really.
i do not plan to compromise my entire existence don’t worry, i will wear my frye boots with this dress, i don’t know what sweater/shrug to wear with it though, my friend said if i pair my new belted sweater with this i will get cut eye from the office women, don’t know why though, maybe cos it would be bordering on that eccentricity shit i was talking about.
safe topics of discussion are cute/funny non-offensive viral videos on the internet, when someone brings up that fucking lion hugging its long lost owner video, do not say you saw it ten million years ago, subtly fill in the story gaps like you just remembered them yourself. do not talk politics. only do sarah palin impression if fil says so. don’t drink too much. do not dance. period. don’t cry when you see other couples dancing and poke fil incessantly under the table and sternly whisper in his ear about why he NEVER EVER dances with you. when fil says it’s time to go, GO. (i have a problem with instantly liking certain people too much and bonding with them when i first meet them thus swatting away fil’s hand when he gestures it’s time to leave) get drunk on the couch (instead of at the work party) watching snl. good nite.
fil and i had comped VIP tickets (thanks stephen!) for second city last nite and it was such a blast, especially the drunk loud annoying chick who would not stop imparting her shitty comments upon the room every two minutes, or the two hippopotamus yanks who sat directly behind us, no offense, but these peeps were the dumbest people ever. everything was explained to us but they still asked each other questions, how lost are you dude? YES they are miming ping pong. YES they are talking about canada. YES he is pretending to be a midget ps. STOP COUGHING ALL OVER FIL’S HEAD COVER YOUR MOUTH.
it felt magical to be there knowing how many famous canadian comedians have graced that stage, if you have any sort of love for this country you really must go at least once in your life. plus there is free improv once the show wraps, on thursdays and saturdays and some other nite too i think.
matt let me borrow his camera, it’s a lot bigger than my little guy, a few others have been offering up theirs, you guys are so nice thanks.
check dan akroyd’s cig, so cool danny!
i just want to hug all of these people it makes me crazy, i want to throw a quilt on top of martin short and carry him home.
speaking of drinking and depression, kind of a prerequisite for comedy.
they had a drink called the delorean and the fartooni and they were blasting 80’s music when we got there, such a time-warp. i even saw some oshawa haircuts haha.
