oh great not this again. up against dooce AGAIN for best diarist. i won it in 2006 mainly because she never mentioned it on her site. i have never heard of the other blogs in my category, can’t wait to read their snide raymi digs, yeesh. voting begins in 3 days and i will likely nag the crap out of you. do i not deserve this award? i think so.
Raymi And Steph and Bilbial Fricatives from Phil Ogynist on Vimeo.
there were several videos to choose from so this is the best of the worst or the worst of the best.
i’m good at this cos when our parents sent us to bed too early (we felt) my brother and i would rip farts from our respective beds with the doors open until the insides of our cheeks stung and stomachs were sore from can’t-breath laughing all while mom and dad were just trying to watch their stories downstairs and pretending not to laugh at the fart explosions traveling down the stairs. my favourites are the tiny boof ones that make you bust up just from the mere memory of the sound.
kids are assholes, man. remind me not to sign mine up for swimming lessons.
qu’est-ce que c’est?
oh, la la.
smokey eye tutorial fiiiiinally.
not one but two, TWO of these things. with bonus eyeshadow and eye liner, it is no secret i pile this shit on, on the reg.
it arrived the day i stayed in bed sick all morning/afternoon and watched made of honor and was not feeling pretty at all, so no tutorial video but here are my thoughts and i know some have been poo-pooing these alleged “tube” things. i like this mascara cos these “tubes” (smells like bullshit i know) actually protect your lashes, and it comes off nicely and easily without tearing them out or even having to wash off your makeup which is great for me as i have been passing out in my makeup since 2001 and stopped washing my face at nite when i was 19 for se’ers my face only gets a washing in the shower, all that crap you hear (then nag me with MOM) about pores needing breathing or whatever is bullshit you’ve been brainwashed with so lotions and potions companies can sell more lotions and potions. do i have zits? only around menses time or stress. if you are genetically predisposed to have acne then no amount of cleansers will fix that so stop wasting your money. where was i? oh right, mascara, yeah, it’s good, you put the white stuff on first then the black stuff. i typically (exclusively) wear the cheapest brand of mascara there is (maybelline) cos my lashes take really well to mascara, no falsies here, so it really doesn’t matter which brand BUT i have discovered that less time has been spent ripping mascara off my eyes in the shower or in bed before passing out when i go with the l’oreal. i’m a picker, it’s how i do, sometimes you get a good clump and then a bunch of lashes come out with it and then your eyeball is bald in the morning.
so THAT reason alone is why this is good mascara, if you’re a dirtbag like me then this mascara is for you. i imagine you could use the white part first then apply on top a different brand if you were feeling experimental. haven’t done it yet but i plan to just to see the difference and yeah my lashes feel a bit fuller with the loreal double extension mascara over my maybelline so i don’t know what you’ve all been complaining about, shit’s good.
advertorial out!
my curls before i played with them too much and the aborted outfit.
our countdown was counted down by an iphone. don’t say it, i know, I KNOW and “happy thanksgiving?” did i hear that correctly?
countdown to 2009 from raymi lauren on Vimeo.
enjoy the massive double chin and my end of nite gross sweaty hair and how pathetically terrified i am of opening champagne bottles. fil was mad cos it’s one of “his” “things” and he has “so few things” he says and actually speaks in this video, we only opened it so we wouldn’t be complete new year’s eve losers.
champagne from raymi lauren on Vimeo.
that’s my new saying but i can’t decide how i want to say it yet though, i guess it depends on how funny i am feeling and the circumstance of the situation at hand. i will keep you posted.
how was your nite?
matt gave us a jug of vodka for christmas and i gave him a painting i’m sick of that he’s been after for awhile.
my resolutions are to drink less, get more tanned, swear less, slur less, and feed more squirrels. oh and be more professional and write better/more and be less of a dick more of a prick. i think i can do this.
‘scuse us white people dancing, much like deer crossing ‘cept way less graceful but with just as much DANGER possibility. we tend to point a lot, and kick, and sway and fall into plants and sharp objects and shove and close our eyes while doing this.
looks like Busta Move just showed up.
i blew mine off before midnight and justified it by the fact that i would be BUSY taking everyone’s picture at the stroke (ew)(haha)(no ew) of midnight.
all i see is a floating drink she is completely camouflaged and this is so vegas-looking i love it who wants to go on a gamble adventure with me?
OOOOooooh someone went all out. what i meant it! did YOU bring a disco light?
so cute.
ugh that one picture ruining fallen-out curl strand in my face!
an insecure moment in time captured immediately after, i do not know how to work “curlishy” hair or my face OR MY LIFE.
TAKE OUR PICTURE LIKE WE ARE ACTUALLY TALKING.
we call this the fleet…
wood.
i see someone i recognize.
nice ring.
steph skanked someone when rancid came on, as in kicked a girl or stomped on her foot. AHAHAHAh ah aw. then we dissected her (skanked chick) reaction with Madeleine until it turned out that steph was actually the victim.
native necklace representin’ and i am enjoying that non-chalant pose in the background, pretty slick.
TAKE MY PICTURE SO I CAN SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE WITH THIS FEATHER MASK ON MY HEAD LIKE IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL.
my premature celebration. i tried to pop it over these guy’s heads (and i did) as they were posing for a picture and it was almost timed perfectly for them oh what a nice picture that would have made.
NICE RING. oh yeah at one point i was sitting in this high chair (a bar chair, retard) and steph was dancing around me so i asked if it felt like she was dancing with someone in a wheelchair and she said yes it did then before we were even finished laughing at our own comedy we both out of breath recounted the story for other people. if you’ve never met me before that is pretty much the only thing you’re missing out on, i say something and if i think it’s funny, i then say what i said to someone else and then to someone else until i run out of people.
i was doing a little dance for fil, he had already removed the top from his popper so it would blast better come midnite, i got self conscious, asked if i should stop my mating dance and as he gestured with his hand to keep going, which was holding the popper, it spooged all over his stomach. slowly too. EWWW ha.
he had two green line stains on his forehead when we got home.
wheee midnight, we lasted.
2009 grabby. oh yeah no more crabby in 2009 lets see how quickly that one breaks.
harmonica horn blowing is actually feasible.
white people dancing on that shit was extra dangerous especially with sloshed beer all over it.
ok that’s all folks.
From:
********
Subject:
hey raymi
need to ask u something
yes?
can i get your opinion on a naked pic i took? just like to hear what u think
if you’re a woman yes, dude, no.
i am a dude. but the picture came out great. i think it was really well done. can i still show it to u?
if you are naked in it the answer is no
im sorry. i was just proud of the pic and wanted to share it.
find someone else i am practically married i don’t use the internet to look at pictures of naked guys.
it’s not so much for the sexual element. i just think it’ s a nice photo. i see it for the art value i guess.
ok well judging by your empty flickr account i call bullshit on this alleged artistic element, you are one of a million dudes on flickr perving out collecting pics with empty accounts.
no i just enjoy sharing my pics, i just dont like them made available to the general public in case someone is offended by the content. so i ask somebody first so then dont get hit by surprise.
id like to show you if u can get back the sex of it.
no thank you
i’ll try to make this as spirited as part one.
watch oot hoser just on my way to get some smokes, eh.
look it’s you.
this is a DO.
town hall Perth County Court House, v nice.
i remember thinking this is so arty but now i’m just bored out of my mind by it we had time to kill so we tooled around and i manically took photos of stuff from the car and this is one of the many pieces of shit from that.
then we hooked up with these two.
duh-ude.
then on to buzzed shopping at winners cos fil has a bunch of gift cards (no ulterior motives here) but poor guy couldn’t find anything and was the only one who emerged with nothing, that’s the second time now.
we got to see the cute new digs.
sean claimed this in the inheritance lottery, lucky sod.
red breast is jameson’s fancier relative.
they’ve just moved and are still unpacking nice tape ha.
Phillipino barbie collection.
feeling it.
fil always has to dial his old house in mississauga hahahah.
guys am i getting jowls? i think i am, is that from aging or losing weight or both?
stupid flash washed this out i have fifty pictures of it.
we all need some space.
at this point i was thinking i am going to be hugely embarrassed if i drop this drink down the stairs.
old homes they just don’t make ‘em like you anymore.
no comment.
whimsical.
lewd cookie break.
fetus cookie.
how much do you want to punch people who do “the point”? can they do it ironically though? sorry i have so many rules who am i fil? god can you imagine if fil was actually cool combined with his rules. he just said so you don’t think i’m cool? ok stopping now this could take hours. when did people discuss the concept of cool like how they won’t shut the fuck up about hipsters these days? what’s next something about how nerds will rule the world, revolutionary concept guys!
emm said ok lets get this bottle in here so it looks like a real party i mean WE TOTALLY DID LOTS OF SHOTS.
abortions are delicious.
bai bai.
