“it wasn’t scary, it was just abnormal.”

oh will you just look at this obscene strawberry for a second.

terrible, absolutely.

drunk birthday pitt

totally so much more but i gotta put up the new shower curtain. we aired it out all nite on the balcony. i think i have a shower curtain problem.

so i went there.

caught in the act of bossy. whatever, as if fil isn’t bossy and a half himself. try him.

ultimate fat day suit.

close-up. i forget what pitt’s opinion of this was – something to the tune of he’s seen me in plenty of crazy get-ups but this one tops ‘em all. he mighta reference being a city folk too i forget. pitt, by all means, let loose. (soooo many drunk photos/vids material of the guy too haha).

seriously everyone should wear one of these things, especially in the annex. i dropped into outer layer to grab a gift for pitt and who should be there but granny garbanzo, grindl, of the big comfy couch fame. had i not been wearing this kaftan i am 100% certain she wouldn’t have pointed me out.

i was actually floored to meet her and confessed that i kinda watched big comfy couch beyond the appropriate age one should be watching shows like that and she said everyone says that. GOOD.

Raymi Sings Is This Love? from Phil Ogynist on Vimeo.

the quality of vids fil‘s camera takes is increds. watch it in full screen if you feel like it. (bottom right corner button in the vid thing)

guys i think i’m finally going to bust out the peacock kaftan today, for the first time on ontarian soil. it’s pitt’s birthday party in the ‘burbs (we’re late) i’m sure he will be amused by it and by now he’s gotta be half in the bag anyway, the thing started at noon. ha.

goddamn it’s raining all over my bike at gill’s. havin’ cab ride home regrets now.

went over to gill’s yesterday to sort out some glitches (fingers crossed) and be work company buddies, i started from home a bit just to get a head start on things but didn’t actually show up at hers til past 2. whoops.

she saved me some breaky leftovers. this chick goes above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to hostessing, v sweet of her.

at one point i was looking in the mirror (for the first time only relax) and she’s all what are you looking at and i said oh just the most beautiful thing that i have ever seen. ha ah aha oh man yesterday was funny despite that panic attack. i love gill.

we decided to take a break and rent some movies and buy a portuguese chicken and those delicious little potatoes and rice, 14 bucks all-in. dope. we rented bride wars, that ricky gervais stand-up thing and a ton of other things never got around to watching. also her girls showed up to have some wine too. fil passed on all this, no idea why, funny that.

totally cosmic or what, gill was changing her twitter bg image and then we noticed this lamp in the window of a house on her street. we bumped into duarte setting up for spinto and he told me nice tan. ahha fuck you. i wonder if he put me down on the guest list after all. (guy if you’re gonna lurk at least let me know).

oh look who decided to show up on the crotch rocket. he droped off some wine to not be in the dog house so he could go get blasted at tranzac then the vaselines show. sorry sean i totally spaced out on that.

Q: how much of a deal maker was this bike? A: SO much, and now that he has the cow he doesn’t need to take me for rides on it anymore. hmmph well think-a-fuckin’gain brah, that’s gonna change. also the pockets of the sweater are makin’ me look bulky here.

gill confessed she was actually thinking we might need TWO whole chickens. haaha so glad she didn’t tell me that cos i would’ve gone for it and after the half i had i felt like a beached whale.

watching the guy cut it up with his chicken scissors like it was no big deal was quite impressive, where do you get chicken scissors, they’re basically sheering clippers or whatever those’re called (i’m losin’ my hardware knowledge). anyway, hot sauce on the side always, don’t let him coat it for you cos it’ll get all greasy soggy and he will ask you 40 times hot sauce? hot sauce? hot sauce? yes, but on the side. geez.

and they lived happily ever after, the end.

fuck it, it’s been on my mind awhile so why not spill. remember the days when i said way too much it’s like all of a sudden i feel accountable, adult maybe, humiliated for every stupid thing i have ever said. feh. anyway, try getting your period like 2 times in a MONTH. maybe 3 times even. wrap your head around that number. basically, my iud is overdue to be taken out and a new one be popped right back in so my body is like releasing all its party sauce. an iud has a hormone in it and yeah, the one i have can stay in you for 2.5-3 years so we’re cruisin’ a teeny bit beyond the 3 year mark, that hormone has run out so my natural hormonal body chemistry whatever the funk is confused. plus side, period with no period zits or painful period tits. down side, period, more than once within a month. yeah yeah TMI big time i know, SORRY for sharing. the downside of the no zits thing is those guys are a head’s up, guess what’s just around the corner aw yeah that’s right insert stupid womyn jokey pms term here. i have never been on the pill but i’ve heard all sorts of insane shit happens when you go off it, like loony tunesque fun. so i’ve been on the phone with multiple clinics and they’s all swamped. the same technicians who implant these rockin’ devices are the same ones essentially who give abortions so you can imagine, they’re pretty fuckin’ busy. the only clinic where i was actually able to speak to a person said they have one woman who does this thing and she only comes in once a week. WHAT? anyway, this is the worst possible timing as i am busy with three different things goin’ on work-wise. so if you see me around a nice little what’s up sensitive high five would be cool.

word to the wise DO NOT google image search iud photos you will likely come across something you can never ever erase from your brain. like pictures of car crash victims. just don’t do it.

writing this post was mostly to force myself to get into action on the phone about it rather than purely shock jock material.

garage bike ride from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

big-ups to sass for being asian i mean, organized, and getting this out there.

now that my makeup finally matches the rest of my body i look like a total tanorexic orange weirdo. i promise i will stop talking about my stupid fucking makeup soon. like, now.

wonderful how it sweated off my forehead like that yeah? ok NOW i will stop talking about it. no wait i just figured out what it looks like – a shitty spray tan!

brad got a haircut. ok so say he and i were to start a new band together, what would we be called, and what kind of music would we play?

can you guess whether or not i decided to bathe? ugh. awesome show last nite (v impressed by the in-between songs back and forth banter, super entertaining. brad was baked and he thought so too) they did all new material. i’ll throw up some more pics later, fil got amazing ones. secret: they may or may not be playing the dakota again tonite. (bank on may).

see ya skids!

oh i’ve a video processing of me riding around in the garage last nite before locking my bike up but vimeo is trying to trick me into paying for an account so they’re making me wait forever for it. nice try vimeo. i can do this allllll day.

oh damn, just one more makeupish-related item this kid sean ward made a play on my never-ending ghostface references. supreme clientele will always be my fave album it can’t be topped, fyi.