The Central band, we are: FIGHTING WHEN THE BATTLE’S OVER. (RAHH DEATH METAL!!!!1) raymi lauren white, vocals; Teppei, Drums; ipod, ipod. see us whenever we’re scheduled just before last call. or whenever you know, no bigs. it’s essentially us just wasted jamming. with hot chicks dancing all around us. though teppei DID win a juno so at least one of us has actual skill. me, i’m the talent. ooh taliente! it gets better about halfway in, right when you’re about to give up, that’s when you should keep going. do it!
bought a nice shade of purple yesterday. nails no longer look like i crawled my way out from under a juvenile detention center’s courtyard.
welcome to my hangover’s hangover and as i type this lovingly to you, i am totally in the middle of one. had to take a gravol when i got up and a chill pill. but good news i’m skinnier this morning all the bloat went away. that dandelion tea worked like a charm. diuretic. i also pounded tons of green tea at work too. laundry mountain behind me is in the washer right now. first time in my adult life in a long time i have required a two-load, two-round, two times longer laundering. fuck. swapping start times with kamila tonite so i can go in two hours later. went in an hour earlier yesterday so why not. got cut early and dance party two thousand ten took form as per usual. i really want the lady gaga telephone song (beyonce’s bangs in it are going to influence me in a bad way pretty soon i know it) d/l’d by tonite’s post show give all. raymi’s gonna crank it down to a 4 though, and i mean it this time. my poor liver. i really hate that i am drinking again so much. i’m closing the window on that one for awhile. i’m just exhaling information right now not as to soundboard give me back some feedback trust me i’ve had enough. just a hey nice shirt cool photo, funny anecdote you did there please otherwise i’m turning off comments for awhile. i don’t even care about the negative ones anymore i’m just overwhelmed by the sheer volume and the majority of them two-centsing me up the anoos. you’re all my moms right now. i have my own in a time out in fact, most successful one yet actually. don’t make me break up with you too.
would you watch a raymi reality show?
there’s a cool funny guy by the name of rollie staying here. he’s cadence weapon. we’re both out big dealing each other in the living room. well not really he read the post thing on me as it was lying around. then he was like THAT’S you? then he’s hanging with @unbrelievable and they realise they both know me and he’s like does every girl in toronto have a popular blog? hah. he’s from montreal. he’s hung from cmw right now. lucas came in late too. buncha sluggish retards. i stayed up even later on my laptop thinking i’d blog or something then had some pot to come down from bar high and was like, uhm, smart much. can barely function today. though i feel like i am coming out of it. at least i’m washing my clothes. discovered one more bag of stuff on my way out last nite allllright.
whimsical hangover.
melodie’s adorable company stamp.
did you realise this blog was authored by a precocious 12 year old?
it was a nineties kind of afternoon. we even snuck in a hack circle or two.
join our commune.
a concept.
green teaing out my bloat.
haha just now rollie was like can i have some tea i’m sure you have lots of tea, this is the place for tea. i was like my only wish is that there was MORE tea. the funny (not) thing is melodie is actually doing a tea demo today and getting paid mad duckets for it. so proud of her. she is going to bring me back to health.
waiting for my chinese food. feelin’ hot.
I KNOW LETS START A POINTLESS HOOD BATTLE THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT! might be slightly biased (bitter) as i reside so west i may as well live at the cheese boutique.
look me and my eye puff public moment in time from a whole nutha perspective!
these were great til someone spilled red wine all over one. i bet it’ll come out though. another necklace (sailor) bit the dust. no more jewelry while dancing or passing off to someone more wasted than you are.
if i don’t wear undies with this body suit then it’s basically like wearing nothing. TMI for people who don’t deserve it. just picture me going to the bathroom 30 times in this apparatus. fucking awful.
a few maje great bands last nite (one from utah, forest hills trees?) and some other i forget. vids to come. we have free wifi at central. you’re welcome. check the painting-to-be collaborative work in progress above that guy’s head. it’s pretty filthy. a close-up to come shortly.
so 80’s stripper. my favourite. i felt the splash of easter purple against my red skirt would look good. do you homos ever want to hear what i have to say about colours? remind me if so.
should i go mac? what mac? LOOK AT ME ASSHOLES.
if gaga can do it (be a complete freak) fuck it. not like i haven’t been exhibitionisting the hell out myself since i was 19. after talking about colours, we can talk about age, namely, ageists. all the flack madonna gets for showing off her body and grandma remarks, err, does ANYONE look that good right now? no. she works herself to the bone. if you look good, no matter your age. SHOW IT.
calling rose right now (roots).
slightly retarded looking here. slightly, works?
don’t start drinking wine go for a tan then sit at the bar with a sharpie and a canvas while you wait for your dinner date to arrive. the fish and the penis are not of my doing. that rat guy is SO STRESSED OUT.
new camera on the way, holdin’ on for dear life. maybe i’ll start hanging with those who don’t have the shakes.
sometimes clothed can be more, raunchy? liz posted some exercise yoga leotard stretch photos not too long ago and i thought fuck, good for her. she has been working hard on her body for awhile like me which i appreciate, so why not show it off. why do we hide ourselves? not for it. i’m stretching and that’s good for you, and your soul and i just happen to look, well, good for it. right now i am owning it, trying to, it’s hard combating self consciousness enough as is, throw some body on that fire like gasoline and just ride it out. you’re never going to look as good as you do right now, again. unless right now you look like shit, then of course you will look better. but you know what i mean.
people (women) are shitty to me (IRL) AND on the internet. fact. there is nothing i can do about that, the nicer i am, the meaner they get. may as well give them a concrete reason for it.
so many load-ins last nite. calm before the storm. overheard someone say via someone that there is something different about the central. to which the other person said yeah, it’s busy. HAHaha.
almost got aaron to juggle shot glasses.
brought in a stack of these. asked a friend to choose one special girl to go up on this wall. coincidentally chose my birth date. or was that on purpose? they were on their way to being pisstanked so maybe it was actually a fluke. i don’t think they’re that intuitive. everyone poses with that bush card heheh.
speaking of bush, there’s a lesbo nite in the works. yours truly will be bartending it in a bra. also, if you were of the muff diving caliber, the big C seems to be mecca for it. just a little bonus there. we’ve a couple girl/girl chicks on the scene at all times.
staff food mountain. i just picked the chicken out. all my carbs bragging burnt me in the fat ass this week. well so did my period but still, taking no chances this time around.
wiener check one. check.
wiener check two. check, check.
didja know we also have a megan fox on staff. look out.
that utah band forest and trees and hills and mountains and dirt and organic shampoo and natural fibers and no phosphates band sorry i left your flier at work ill try the ole mighty google now. they were my favourite, also did a beatles cover and something else i forget. it’s not that i’m an ignoramus which trust me, i know i am, but it is also hard to pay full attention to shit while working. oh fuck i’m referring to the wrong band the mountains and the trees i’ve typed too much here no point in deleting.
so good.
so photogenic.
nice necklace.
costume change, this is what i look like after a couple hours dancing my balls off. meet cheffy.
sure he’ll dig the gut shot.
on my way out discovery. it’s all in the wash now.
Je n’ai pas pour habitude de réagir sur les blogs auxquels je suis abonné, mais là, considèrons que c’est un forum!
Petits principes d’éducation à l’attention de M. Mystère:
-Jamais je ne donne d’avis sans que l’on me le demande,
-Lorsque je n’aime pas quelqu’un, je lui dis en face,
-Mieux vaut se taire et passer pour un idiot, plutôt que de parler et confirmer que l’on en est un…
Sinon, je suis ravi de suivre les péripéties d’une femme magnifique à tous points de vue! A la limite d’être mon alter-égo, Je n’ai pas pour habitude de réagir sur les blogs auxquels je suis abonné, mais là, considèrons que c’est un forum!
Petits principes d’éducation à l’attention de M. Mystère:
-Jamais je ne donne d’avis sans que l’on me le demande,
-Lorsque je n’aime pas quelqu’un, je lui dis en face,
-Mieux vaut se taire et passer pour un idiot, plutôt que de parler et confirmer que l’on en est un…
Sinon, je suis ravi de suivre les péripéties d’une femme magnifique à tous points de vue! A la limite d’être mon alter-égo, sur l’autre rive de l’océan.
I do not usually respond on the blogs to which I subscribe, but then consider this forum!
Small principles of education to the attention of Mr. Mystery:
-I never give an opinion unless you ask me,
-When I do not like someone, I told him in the face
-Better to be silent and look like a fool rather than speak and confirm that there is a …
Otherwise, I am delighted to follow the adventures of a beautiful woman in every way! At the borderline of my alter-ego, on the other side of the ocean.
Dear Raymi,
I hate your samurai shoes with a passion that I would normally only feel for my arch enemy (my ex bff). I think it may have to do with the fact that they remind me of the 80’s and of my childhood. Both which sucked. And the fact that they are super ugly.
You however, I still adore. Especially your post on Postsecrets. It was the first time in a long time that I have read a blog post that was actually made me think about what I was reading rather than just consuming the words and pictures mindlessly for a distraction against nothing. I have to agree that Postsecrets have very few of the dirty little secrets anymore. The kind that would give me a cheap thrill. Cheap thrills such as when you divulge a bit of your personal life (like every time you mention Phil but leave us hanging because you are only mentioning it to tell people to mind their own fucking business). I even thought about becoming a therapist just so I could satisfy my voyeurism of peoples lives (dirty secrets) for cheap thrills. This probably explains why I am such a good listener. Well first I thought about being a cop before therapist, but I am too gullible and really would believe that the little baggie in your pocket is some dried basil you got from a friend because you ran out. Is a therapist supposed to call you on bull shit as well? Because if so then I need to think of another career choice.
Speaking of career choice – how is yours going? I read that you would like to be a writer, and noted you do have a book for sale but that you also were were known as the poorest famous person ever (who hasn’t died – because the only time poor people are famous are the broke ass has been celebrities that are all over the news once they kick the bucket). I envy you for knowing what you want to do. I always thought I would end up like Beth from Little Women and die because I never wanted to be or do anything. Which is true – I mean I only want to be a therapist because I want to know peoples issues and secrets, not because I care. What a freak I am.
Anyway – sorry this email ended up being a total head case. Back to the point – I hate your shoes. I <3 you!
Take Care,
Amanda
for twenty bucks it had better work. i try to use it daily, but i also keep late hours, so who knows. maybe a nite when i get proper sleep is what makes my eyes look less puffy and not this piece of bullshit. the nite prior to this little happening i clocked in oh, a few hours of sleep?
he got tussled with pretty aggressively. i was shocked.
pictures of this awesome shit show nite to come but for now an actual review. lucas thinks she was talking about us being the only ones dancing off to the side there. likely. possible. one funny thing post show they had their little hey good show pow wow right beside me and i accidentally was included in it, just in the close proximity taking up space in their inner circle sense. bit my lip super hard not to say anything stupid. wait i think i clapped one on the shoulder and said great set or something hahaha like i’m some big shot music guy with a ponytail and brick phone earring and a gold tooth.
it’s because of last nite that i am staying in solo caged bird tonite.
we started out innocently enough at cafe taste. ugh i’ll just tell ya later xo.
hi penises did you miss me? i missed you that’s why i made myself into a penis for you.
hello horseshoe. first time there since before all that change. like, beginning of summer. actually, can’t even place it. can you?
mike gets roped into taking a photo of these tacky young chicks.
duckface on the left got axed for being too wasters. i like that she is mugging for my camera instead of her friend’s.
mike had a bag of ziploc bags of icing that was making us all feel awkward for him so i turned that wrong into an opportunity. should i hold a how to get chicks seminar?
dude you were SO in there, what happened?
what where am i now. oh flickr you piece of shit. that necklace broke last friday nite at some point during the dance til dawn party. don’t know how. discovered it the next day. possibly fixable if i had a soldering gun hahaha.
oh right, lost nite. look at that frosting, fuckin’ peanut butter! excited to see what carrie has been cooking up. hmm, want to make me a birthday cake? update: blythe doll cake!
WEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeird.
here i am saying AWKWAAAAAAAAAARD.
single white female!
alright alright here we go there happy done bye.
killin’ me here samurai.
look at this retard. yeah the sun was warm but the day was not. like, at all. i love seeing under-dressed too sooners and scoping their role in the whole be cool aloof don’t show how freezing you actually are in the face department. walk slow. hahahha saw another chick the other day in bare legs, looked so stupid but upon closer approach she was wearing nylons.
guess how much money is here. when brosz7 gets around to cashing this in at the supermarket he’ll tell me the amount, i’ll tell you the amount and if you guessed correctly, you will get nothing. i am very good at this by the way, not to be competitive or anything. i say at least 60 dollars.
i said that i liked this bagel because it’s soft, fresh. i don’t like chewing bagels forever. he said i have absolutely no authority or right to have any sort of opinion regarding bagels if i’m not jewish (he is) then i tuned him out completely/cut him off. i do not care for quality, style, character, whathaveyou, i was only commenting on my appreciation for its freshness and low-chew factor. what wait you don’t care what i have to say about bagels? he asks me. no, i don’t. i don’t care for anything that you have to say anymore in fact, because i don’t have to feign like i am at all interested in anything that you have to say anymore. he says, i like the new doesn’t give a shit about me raymi. me too.
then i was whisked away to dinner with another companion.
i got f’d over by the food i chose and the wine they paired it with. first it was moonshine (sherry) what lent a nice gasoline burn aftertaste. all i wanted was red wine. with my main i got a white. then for dessert, a dessert wine (which i hate). hahahahahaha. COOL TIMES FINE DINING.
and all my pictures came out blurry. cold calamari salad, very nice.
i had the chicken. the duck wasn’t fresh.
steak frites. we shared everything. oh man i feel like a house today and this was earlier in the week, i think? no it was last week. wow brain, way to impress.
banana cake. was smashed by this point and we were gabbin’ away so basically wasn’t feeling it so much. picked away at it.
huge brulee fan.
next day at shanghai ok i think i know why i’m not a skeletor anymore. sigh. this was not mine though i inhaled a few at lightning speed.
five minutes later was time to eat AGAIN for our blog meeting.
why do i have autistic poses. why why whyyyy.
menus by louis vuitton! (not really)
and people say i’m narcissistic. pah. just sharing my sick ass style with you, puhlease.
some people think that seaweed salad (wakame? nigiri?) tastes like catfood. that’s what gill said and now i can’t stop thinking that or repeating it when it’s ordered and i ruin it for everyone. that’s all i ordered though and miso soup as i had literally just eaten at shanghai.
this girl i worked with when i was an online model had a real looking dong like this and cos of that she did beej shows on it. easier to get into it the more realistic it is i suppose in lieu of one of those glass floral printed gold sparkle ones, yeah?
can you buy me a thigh-numbing uncomfortable aesthetically pleasing expensive clockwork orange chair please? thanks. you’re so generous.
how many of you have a famous blog right now? no one? ok right, that’s what i thought.
and if you had one, would you even begin to know what the fuck to do about it? people coming at you daily telling you what’s up, how to play the game, what the next move is, all nice and welcome thank you for it but seriously, back the fuck off. you come under the guise of “help” really? you want to help me, then fucking HELP me or shut up. your help isn’t help if all it does is engender a circle jerk. pointing out stuff we already know isn’t help. telling someone to be this or do that, not help.
i’m famous because i’m doing everything right. i have hustled my ass off to get what small time i have right now, this is my field, my area, not yours. whatever you’re doing do i tell you how to do it better? of course not. what gives you the right to come over here and solicit shit advice? do you think i even LOOK at my sidebar or fucking care what garbage is posted on it? half my blog roll i don’t even read, or is even blogging anymore. who fucking cares? clearly YOU do, but I don’t, so don’t put that shit on me. what the hell do you want?
i’m living a whimsical life and i’m blogging about it and i have a massive audience. BIG DEAL CITY. i simply want to be an author, that is always what i’ve wanted cos that is about as far as my dreams go. sorry to disappoint you but, this is all you’re getting out of me for now. this blog is just a launch pad of laziness.
i wanted to publish books but i didn’t want to write formal documents selling myself, pitching my ideas. i wanted to be accepted based on an oh of course we’ll sign her method. we know my books will sell because they just fucking will. build your audience while building your brand, get loyal followers, endear yourselves to them. write a fucking book and then they will buy it. oh boohoo the print world is tanking, no one wants to read anymore, waaaah. bullshit. who wants to read a novel on a tablet, what are we in i-robot? get your head out of your ass, that is not the wave of the future. books are not going away. maybe the shitty ones are, but still, there will always be a market for them.
i had a crazy post in the pan i wanted to share in lieu of this but i guess i should consider it more. i wrote it in a state of rushed anger last nite before heading out to meet melodie and i was already late. then billy mystery’s email came in and i was like, fuck you, but then decided no, i should just go with it.
people say i’m pretty sensitive, for someone who puts so much out there, why so sensitive? like, how dare you be sensitive.
it’s because i am sensitive i have such staying-power. it’s because i react to things and have emotions. think of all the blogs out there trying hard on their “voice” and how disaffected they’re attempting to be, hipster runoff for example, no feelings, just all fun and games and snark. invincible. how much does hipster runoff consistently capture your attention and captivate you? cos after one two three hipster jabs, i think you fucking get the point right? haha hipsters are being hipsters omfg look. but then what?
you want to feel things right, i presume, and you can’t really feel anything over there but here, feel away dickhead. don’t tell me what to do cos we both know i’m not going to listen. unless you have a tangible means to make shit happen with/for me, don’t waste your breath, or my time, or more importantly, don’t hurt my feelings. it’s exhausting compartmentalizing them everyday. don’t think you don’t have an impact with the shitty things you say. you think you’re so tough right? live a week in my shoes and see how you fare, i honestly don’t think you could hack it. you’d crumple into a fucking fetal position and pack’er in pretty quick.
do you even know what it feels like to be hated by so many people? could you handle that? could you handle pointless disdain? i don’t think you could. i don’t think you could rise above shit, in fact, which is why you are desperately trying to get my attention with your negative slurs all the time. seriously, what does that even do for you? luckily i am able to get over things pretty quickly and you make me fucking laugh but honestly, you hate me because you don’t have the nards to be your own person, script your own identity, lead the life you want to be living, fuck, not my problem.
i’m happy, for the first time in my life despite manic depression, i am fucking happy. i like me right now and i like my life and i apologize for nothing.
but if you want to have a REAL discussion regarding all this, step up and buy a ticket to this, put your money where your mouth is. for once in your fucking life. tell me to my face what i’m doing wrong.
and in the words of midlake, “it’s hard for me, but i’m trying.”
I think you should take down all of that “king of the blogs” stuff. Its looks gay. Who’s it for? Nerds that visit your site know that you are number one anyway. Take all the “advertise here” stuff off too. Ever considered actually approaching someone? Marketing morons are beneath accountants on the boring job ladder so be careful with them. Why would you leave a message on your site asking them to pay you to fool people? The only thing those retards will get is the fact that you let the “market in on the plan.”
Problemo: Everybody is ripping you off right now – which would be fine if you were getting something out of it too. Newspaper guys are filling there blogosphere article quota, masters of sociology are plugging their books, gaving mcinnes is selling merchandise to your readership thanks to one blog post (and no more), and you’re getting what?
I don’t think you really know what your demographic is (and it’s mega-profitable). What are you doing? “Writing a book” No offense man, but even if you were talented, that shit doesn’t sell anyway. Forget about the hipsters and start pandering to (and profiting from) retards who need you to tell them what to do.
