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it’s a good bad. everyone fell in love with me at this moment. there was a mini fight at the legion too. fat joan jett versus an old lady and the volume of tunes. the cops came too afterward just because they’re so bored around here.
a bunch of my videos and photos from the last photo dump disappeared off steph’s laptop. oh well. on to the next big mental. think we’re goin’ swimmin’ today.
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my signature from last year. steph and rye stare at it sometimes when they go to the legion. awww.
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i had the best day today. we don’t have mountain golf views in toronto do we? so gorgeous. like the firstish season of lost and hurley starts them golfing and you see the island mountains all over the place dyyyying. well that was part of my day. actually everywhere i look there’s a mountain.
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it feels great to blast your ears out to your dying zune battery that somehow keeps going with every cloud that passes and the sun beats down on you staring up like a goon at this somehow northern ontarian tropical looking thing of a mountain from a hammock in your bikini drinking black coffee turning into a freckle slightly baked and exhale all your worries out cos for the moment there’s nothing you can do so you just gotta lay.
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then jeff buckley says maybe there is a god above but all i’ve ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you then a cloud took off at that exact second and you just picture all these upbeat things and you hate your life a little less. sorry people sometimes i have this intense sadness and i carry it around with me and i feel like i’m always talking about it so when we’re on a good wave we definitely share it.
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it’s gaga glasses or top gun glasses. gaga won the backyard war.
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top gun (shades) won the golf outfit war.
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everyone in toronto is miserable right now. tim made me laugh. you’re all complaining about the heat and it’s like yes i KNOW it’s hot THANK YOU. hahahhaha. poor guys.
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apparently there was a bit of a stir when we showed up. it was just me and rye, stephy was at the beer store (working) and everyone’s all oh yeah eh who’s that girl with rye there. small town, gossip, so huge here. very big pastime. we just had a little debate over the spelling of pastime. anyhoo, we’re on our way to this carhole jam again. gonna see some of the same people i saw last year. gonna be good and funny. wearing cupcake dress. very over the top. oh and i had a persian today! google it.a girl told me on twitter to have one and i thought it was a drink like a white russian. so isn’t. only had a taste cos it’s not in my raymbo diet.
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this is in my diet. white wine water ice sculptures.
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drove all over holy lazy mazy fuckin crazy but then you actually turn into relaxo to the maxo woah that o on the end of max was a typo i just kept rhyming. they’re waiting on me to finish so we can mosy. they’re not hurrying that much cos we all have drinks going.
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i’m not a bad golfer and guess what i kinda like it. just don’t ever talk about it. experience only.
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i am turning into a brown leather freckle idiot.
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brought new nailpolish along steph likes it.
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we had the whole course to ourselves every year rye’s work/family takes it for the afternoon, awesome.
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carhole!!!!!!
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i invented a new drink for us yesterday called a tan rock. it kinda tastes like shit though. rum-based then some drambuie and whatever other garbage you find in the fridge. it’s a shooter man drink that you inevitably let ryan finish, half name it after his home town and voila, someone’s a fan.
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i actually came just to check up on these matches. they’re good everyone you can stop worrying now.
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cannot wait to climb that mountain again. actually i can cos i’m sore all over and weak but yeah, climbing something hand over foot and at some point requiring ropes that mountain men left behind and then hitting the natural spring on the way up. spectacular.
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she was saving the best strawberry for me but some ants ate it. ryan says he saw a chipmunk run off with it. kind of saved me some awkward really cos what if that saved strawberry wasn’t delicious afterall then they’d all be staring at me and i’d be like, YUM! ok that wasn’t funny sorry.
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making fun of my dating site inbox. ryan said it was better than watching tv. they loved the background stories i can’t blog.
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david hasselhoff drunk supreme.
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haha not even gunned at all really just overtiredstonedand laughing my headoff. oh maybe that’sgunneda little. this laptop hasa laggy spacebar so i might give upon some fewsentencescosit’s getting on my nerves to go backand fix. enjoy. well do you want a post or not? raise your hands.
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apparently these are in bloom right now. only in the sun. i will report back on that in a little bit.
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trying to choreograph this toast omg so brutal. NO tilt tilt your mug! i have a vision.
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see like this. these are the worst to-go cups (the best) cos when you’re done your drink you still have a drink to carry home. go frosties.
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musta been a rager.
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looooove walking around small towns. especially this one. kinda nostalgic in a way as i was here last summer about this time and i was a different person then so…deaner’s back better than ever.
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these are all backward order by the way did i say that already? here i am trying to teach rye how to pose. it’s going well.
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like this.
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dude watch.
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their new fern jungle garden. the skids got a house. they won’t shut up about it it’s nice to be around for this significant part in their lives and no i am not dying on the inside for myself at all AT ALL.
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i am a woman of leisure. of the world.
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i put some shorts on beneath the risky biz dress. awesome idea can act more of a fool.
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i need to give that hairstyle a name. the dirty pebbles? messy pebbles?
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alright alright last one.
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me and mountain and deck and telling people how to live their lives forever.
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lookin good guys.
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sofia coppola cruised by to take this one then she was like my heart belongs to dunst, sorry raymi. fine then get out of here with your beautiful mind, scram.
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sailor tanned. going to put some more work in the backyard after we supermarket today. *edit: no time for supermarket now. no problemo lazy just showed up anyway. straight to tan then i’ll make a salad from right out of the garden. then golfing with ryan and his family. i’ve only ever played golden tee before or whacked balls at the driving range so i’m a little nervous also how much have i spoken shit about golf before? many a time. so this’ll be good. i don’t want to brag about how athletic i actually am just yet. wait and see how rusty my drive isn’t first.
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swingers. haha not really.
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the sun went away for a little while but it’s ok cos it’s back now.
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little bunky house!
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you did it guys!
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looking up at the mountain i said to steph i already KNOW the blog posts that are going to come out of sitting on this swing. the inside of the house is to die for. too from what i spied through the windows.
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best chair lift you never have to get off.
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ugh why am i always “doing something” in pictures?
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and then i pretend my photo isn’t being taken even when i told the person to specifically take it. i get shutter shy i guess. actually it’s my secret art direction tactic.
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rocks look so much better painted gold.
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got busted taking this photo by the guy who owns it in his front window. we were in everyone’s window news when we took our stroll. even a cat’s window news. we just laughed at it.
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lotsa finns here. they all live here cos the climate is similar to finland in every way (?) also they’re weird people? there’s another reason ryan probably knows so ask him i forget.
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saw the dude obsessively doting on this fake flower garden. he’d fit right in little italy for sure.
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oh my god just saw a commercial for the huggies jean diaper. youtube it! that baby rules.
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wish i brought my new olympus pen here so badly now that my blackberry is useless here and all. siiiigh. you guys may actually get more blog posts now that i’m not pissing away my time lazily tweetpic-ing everything then carrying the scraps over here when i feel like it. old school raymi posts, essentially. like the bad old days.
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mountain staring.
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steph’s long hair is killing me. good killing. jealous, basically.
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nothin’ like a good ole kitchen hang.
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spot the costume changes i make.
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wild blueberries.
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you get some ledgers too from taking a sip and a few blueberries rest on the lip shelf. insert heath ledger jokes.
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telling the story of the moment i was out at the rivoli with red flag and discovered my dress shirt had pockets i proclaimed it to the entire bar. i was busy ignoring red flag’s chatting up of the bartendress and lo and behold the shirt dress that i love so dearly has pockets. best discovery ever. steph laughed her head off. i basically went OH YEEEEEEEEAHH!! like the koolaid homo.
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no foosball, the legs came off. no worries we have one at work and i exclusively ignore it anyway. kinda find the whole activity a bit boring to be honest.
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duh.
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ryan’s. made him all arrogant for like five minutes.
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another reason for the olympus pen. beast is outright sick of using this camera too and ‘course he is, the little elitist.
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weird weed rollies. seems like it would be bad for you?
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i’m about to hit a nice leftover of this guy right now.
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chinese food treat. i came up with a new name for chicken balls. chicken timbit.
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so much sodium. no carbs still. i don’t think it’s working i feel perpetually bloated and sore (from doing wasted sit-ups all the time?)
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awesome.
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princess slob arrives.
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awwww.
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swoon. love notes are my weakness. HINT. actually a note from anyone is my weakness.
brown as a berry time, later ontario.
last year‘s photoset visit.
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the magic is in the process of being recreated.
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oh em gee guys. so bagged and baked hangin with team skid high on chinese food tequila sodas. my travel here was not smooth, ticket fuck up to the max. i’ll whine about it later. or not. saw terry fox from the highway like last time and the toronto maple leaf house that ryan has pissed on personally, he’s a minnesota fan.
i just said to steph lets really tar out and she tsk-laughed so hard.
we’re rippin jokes like bad and already have a ton of constants, like what’s going on outside the window news?
ok going for a walk now email me please i am in blackberry uselessness holy withdrawl holy fuckin moly.
oh and i got a free wine on the plane then i loser passed out a few times in a row to metallica.
i do not like the sound of quebecois accents when i am irritated. have fun with that if you ever have a porter fuck up too.
we drove behind the biggest widest fucking truck ever EVER with the smell of dinner in the vw, one of those quarry sized numbers. very wild. ok garden time sorry for being so crabby and saying retard too much. i’ll try to stop one of the two. DON’T GET GREEDY NOW!
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guys in the burbs check you out pretty hard but they never follow through. sitting in a pink cupcake dress at this corner of the main drag in the sun with my beautiful hot blond mom and my own blond head, boy, such a different life than being brunette. which i do happen to miss but i enjoy the spoilings of blond-treatment very much so.
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my beautiful black seedless grapes and i. melodie and luke went ahead to that rooftop party on sunday with my grapes and stole the show, and credit. melodie barely gives credit for all my outfit stylings and other garbage cos she had a sister growing up. apparently shit gets competitive? either way fuck off MY black seedless grapes i invented them!
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pretty much gospel.
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melodie was really irritated by how out of date that gossip rag is. uh sorry?
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see her there dying aw poor thing.
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heat sun stroke. totally weak.
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freeze dried strawberries, dried cantaloupe (so good!) green raisins (why? green grapes?) apple squares and dried pears. all i ate yesterday for dinner. dad you have to eat the spinach salad i didn’t end up eating.
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while doing my hair we watched an education. love 60’s britain. peter sarsgaard plays a great creep and now i want to go to paris ten billion times more than i did before.
je t’aime mes amis. oh wait here’s some more randoms.
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remember how cold it was last week? bizarre.
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canada day.
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so rich.
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takin’ this idiot looking thing to t-bag.
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summer uniform.
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it’s awkward asking strangers to take your pics, you can only vamp maybe 40% and i can’t boss them around as demandingly as i’d like to. NO excuse me i said HEAD to TOE, whole outfit, jesus get it right.
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wicked martinis.
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trouble makers.
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boring football and oysters no one’s eating. exactly what kind of scene are you trying to make happen here?
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at bob and erin’s our old bar from our basement. nostalgic and sentimental for it mega.
uh ok now i have to make sure all remnants of weed are clear of my luggage.
here i come skids.
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off to burlington. i dragged melodie along. she LOVES burlington now, had never been before. how novel. all the shit i get up to in burlington she dug it all. so awesome.
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first stop after dropping our shit off at my dad’s was barb’s pool. she’s such a great lady. good friend of my mom’s. her coug partner in crime. barb has a daughter i’m buds with. holly.
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haven’t had carbs in ages. it’s been full-on zero dairy for a few days now. maybe four? i think it’s working. though if you want to be bloated out of your balls then eat a cup of freeze dried strawberries from bulk barn like i just did now. i think they expand in your stomach like al dente risoto (be careful!) melodie says i am getting skinnier and melodie is always right so that’s cor, as the british say.
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right about the time we learned about toronto’s black out. sorry guys. i am a sweaty red faced from sun beast.
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dad and i did a pretty good job on my hair. what a money saver this is going to be and think of the bonding too! dad i am turning you gay hahah. nah nah steady on. i think he had a blast cruisin’ around with three hot pisstank chicks up to no good on a monday night yeah?
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short cuts that turn out to be long cuts. fence climbin’, doin’ the burbs right.
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so pissed about this. spicoli little asshole much? and oh my god is that feet tan i have?
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it was nice not wearing underwear today. to sweat through yet one more layer of clothing? stupid.
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in new orleans it is so hot all the time like the heatwave temp currently underway that all you can do is get hosed and sit around fanning yourself while soaking in your lap pool, which is a perfect existence if you ask me. sipping on mint juleps while character assassinating everyone in town, bourbons sweating on beautiful doilies while ceiling fans out in the open air, spin. we had a slow start and slow to move lazy afternoon today thanks to the heat and the hang(over). it was too hot to even lie on my towel that got broiled in the sun i did a ferris bueller pass out half touching it half dead in the grass meanwhile melodie was having a heat panic attack on the cement patio. winners. you can see my longboarding accident scrape on my right hip. shit. i’ll say i got attacked by a shark that turned out to be a pussy and i was able to fight it off.
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there’s a chick who lives in that house behind me who’s in a wheelchair i think she spies on me through the window. who wouldn’t out here? nothing going on at all. other than me big lebowskiing all over the place. i’m choosing these day’s off in burlington over dating right now. men have been pretty boring lately.
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oh yes.
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perfs. i wish i could go back in time and be my dad when my grandparents left him the house for two weeks and the car when he was 17 and they went to england. he had parties every nite. beers in the bottom of the pool. he thought about buying that house again but someone just scooped it. aw man! chilled out retro smooth looking bungalow that place would be awesome.
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my no carbs diet took us to mikado downtown burlington for sashimi and sake bombs. ok that is the dismal amount of carbs (beer) i had yesterday, the beer for the sake bombs. tooling around to the beach boys and oldies those girls were swooning blissed out retards it was great. melodie says she has no idea why i am so depressed.
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too bad the rude native moved from the little village courtyard. i brought aimee here once with an old guy i used to hang with and made him spend like $200 on us right on this very spot, this exact table. we had oysters and champage and a ton of other stupid stuff. my hair looks like shit here.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4770335242/
showed this to melodie and said you will be nostalgic for this moment before it’s even over and she went aww oh yes and part-sobbed. the patio at night in the quiet summer heat was spectacular. drinking so much rose with beast is what got me fat(tish) again i think. i still indulge in it every so often still. the more pretentious and whimsical-looking the label, the better.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4770335454/
pit stop at emma’s before that. mel looooves the patio and water view and hopes no one takes it for granted here which they totally do.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4769696019/
david bowie dance party then we jammed for a bit. guess what, it was awesome fun.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4770336686/
me right now and new opi nail polish. can’t quit the baby pink. it’s so lady and darling which i go for. i am going to douse myself in soft baby pink anything i can get my hands on, drench my hair in peroxide to playboy bunny it as much as i can up top all the while leaning out to the max and getting crazy tanned replete with magnificent deep-set tan lines (they are incredible, so much so a recent ex-fling composed a song making mention of them, but anyway…) and then once all of that is accomplished we’ll see what happens. i hope thunder bay likes icy blondes. i guess i’ll have to practise my doe eyes and dimwit voice.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4770360878/
left it on slightly too long. i am floored over saving money. so so totally floored and once i master it i will do other people’s roots too and then i can open an all platinum salon. next time i am going to just do my entire head it’ll be way easier.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4770361292/
dad please put in a lap pool. short of that a slip n slide. sprinkler even? no man, pool all the way. i’m too lazy and old for a slip and slide. i had to ice my right carpal tunnel bone deposit on again off again cyst wrist with my goblet of white wine ice spritzer last nite at emma’s. torture.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4769721691/
melodie’s panic attack.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4769721911/
rocky is beautiful.
all the other pics i missed can be found in my twitter feed.
i brought melodie to chap’s. we had shrimp cocktails which were actually so good. bloody marys. i had mine without salt. i only ordered one cos mel did even though i didn’t want it. earlier today my dad was like so are you, going to blog? he’s jonesing. meanwhile guy, i am like, actually here, not good or interesting enough for you to have me walking around talking chirping buzzing lipping off in the flesh?
a hick yelled to me from his truck if that was a wiggle or was my ass chewing bubblegum? i said oh my god you’re retarded. he wasn’t expecting that as a response so it made him laugh like a demented hyena. my butt is epic and curvy and kinda unexpected on this body of mine so i don’t blame him also, paint it with daisy dukes what look like giant fuck you prude pants and people can get a little crazy.
i cannot believe i am going to thunder bay tomorrow. i am somewhat in denial about it? taking train in early tomorrow to my hot messy bedroom, packing all i can into the carry-on (which sucks cos you can only bring one pair of shoes and you better get that decision made right) then somehow making my way to the ferry (sick of cabs, too impatient for ttc and can’t bike with a suitcase, or maybe i can??) then over to porter which i’ve never flown before. must remember to get off at hanlan’s right instead of gravitational ward’s island pull. why do i feel like that particular juncture off the ferry voyages less frequent…ugh anyway this is why i am somewhat in denial because of the last minute in-between junk i have to do to prepare.
who cares my roots are gone, i can wear rags for the week and get down with my best friend hosers i haven’t seen in far too long. we are going to climb the mountain again. drink at the legion. car hole parties. swim in cool rivers and lakes. lounge around their backyard play in the garden rock out foosball be hungover constantly it’s gonna be soo good oh and they just bought a new house so they’re buzzed off that new thing.
please alert the mayor and every dude in town, thanks.
this post gets a 9 out of 10 for conceitedness.
