this double shirt could have been yours. one of my raymi party leftovers. still haven’t had a chance (made time) to sort through everything. getting through it bit by bit. while i was away the office got tidied magically so i think that’s my cue to pitch in.
i didn’t wear it because i felt like a cow in it all summer. if you feel bigger and you wear bigger then you look bigger. you need to be a waif to wear big billowy gypsy shirts.
ugh i just got a huge cramp. this period is going to be a doozy i can already tell. blah. i don’t feel like doing anything fun for the next week. i want to live in a shed in a forest far away from the world.
the new cheese boutique cheese truck is on the way to pick me up they decal’d it out in cheese hole graphic can’t wait to ride around in it wave to me if you see us we’re the ones in the hunk of cheese i’ll tweet a picture in a sec when i see it. i am getting a sneak peek at a new venue in town, you already know about it. i say no more. also i am excited for the next post i already have in the pan i wrote it last night. i say no more.
that madonna song was stuck in my head all night it took forever for my brain to wind down from like a prayer. the video failed during initial upload so i fought sleep until it finished. i like loner nights, catching up on internet world. a huge part of my life is devoted to spending many hours alone like a shut in, a pretentious grandiose hunched over charlatan uh oh i just made all the characters in my flickr chinese? 설명을 추가하시려면 여기를 클릭하세요 fuck help! i’d change it back except i don’t speak 누구나 이 사진을 볼 수 있습니다 dammit.
and no, not everybody was this good. the karaoke hostess is transfixed by me. i killed it. people danced, made love in the streets, were totally inspired by my shit right up to the part when i screamed out go canada! i don’t think they were expecting that. i also asked if my shirt was see-through enough. people in the front sitting down were totally hypnotized. it was hysterical. KARAOKE ATTACK! i always throw in some classic madonna moves too. look at the self confidence. i should give you little raymis a seminar in self confidence. i’ll get rob to come in for a portion of the lecture. totally serious. this will change your life. then we’ll break for 1pm bourbons out on the terrace.
airplane outfit. i bought this kate hudsonesque dress from f21 over the summer. i bought a lot of shit over the summer but then the dress moment passed and i never wore it. it was at the end of summer. a girl’s gotta have a dress ready to chuck in her suitcase. i rewarded myself with trips to f21 after the gym about once a month. figured i’d earned it.
my newest little buddy. one of those retardedly expensive cats that are a beautiful shocking splash of rouge. i don’t know how else to describe it. quite the talker too. acts as if it’s bloody murder to go four hours between eating. sort of lets me pick him up.
constant nola fat watch. i irritating. annoyed i missed my two motion room sessions. was so happy to go today and james surprised me with some super weird and intimate stretching. felt great. i said if he was my boyfriend i’d make him do that to me allll the time and he said if he was my boyfriend he wouldn’t do that (inferring that if yer a cook you won’t cook at home, if you massage for a living, no dice to your partner) but i’m like why because we’ll be doing other things? oh james, we can do this dance for weeks i’m not gonna break first hahaha.
sunday night after eating the french quarter and i was working on a serious binge solo. leslie lost the boozing mojo no problemo more for me. they have 3 for 1 drinks all day on sunday. people were ridiculously plastered i can’t wait to go through more of my photos and videos now that the virus of my laptop is gone. i went back to karaoke and trainwrecked through two songs. lesson learned, two songs that although i enjoy profusely, i just cannot sing. empire state of mind and gaga’s telephone. always go with your gut instinct and not the song that your friend wants to hear.
sorry this post is like you. retarded. just kidding we both know it’s just a slight learning disability. anyway, check out these fun things. my future ex-husband james let me have one. chose the lemon flavour.
leslie was like stop taking photos of yourslf, get the houses. this is the first i went after. i was only taking photos repeatedly of myself so i could text them back to the raymi man(fan)club back home and i couldn’t get one i was happy enough with.
cannot get over how luxurious and comfortable those beds are. it’s like sinking into a cloud. very much like a get-away spa/hotel. probably why we had an early night each night. a real vacation.
on plane in oblivious moron fog. i moved to my own row when the woman beside me made it clear enough she didn’t want me there once i was finished passive aggressively caging her in for a few moments of irritated panic. that’s my cue to leave once the announcer said now if you don’t like the person you are sitting next to then you can move back. peace lady.
this is on canal. it’s by the sheraton, the legendary kicked our asses out hotel two years ago and fast food district where i had to grab leslie a hangover sprite (they don’t really do gingerale in the states) from a popeye’s or some hole like that. be careful if you bring a dog to new orleans and go out for an hour or two longer than a dog in a hotel room would appreciate. i’ll tell the story later.
back in the internet zone again these were just my blackberry photos.
john lennon perished twenty thirty years ago today. same date my grandpa died too, (though i was in grade 6) cosmic.
today’s raymi activity features two willing participants ready to give my cooking skills a review. the tables have turned. tarek and april. batter’s up.
taking their orders. now, april is a genuine BOOM expert and fan, she’s there all the time, is a mayor of the college street location i believe? so i was not going to get away with blowing this.
James even popped in to give me some grief over missing today’s and monday’s sessions. that’s his job to make me feel guilt, well it works but no need after this weekend in the south and all that food and not working out, man, guilt big time.
ok so here is my retarded order on a napkin, i forgot to ask tarek how he wanted his eggs. well i thought i did as he said well done which in eggs world means flip it over and over, almost fried? over hard is the technical term. woah relax there eggs. EGGZACTLY. you know what else is fried other than tarek’s eggs? my brain right now.
do you get to make a design? i asked jeffrey. um yeah sure he says. not really though you just pour the warm milk in then glob the foam high on top and sprinkle chocolate powder or cinnamon. ok what drinks do they make the design for you then? ahh who cares.
oh no no, two huge saucers will not do for this tray i am about to walk over. so i got a tinier espresso one for april’s americano. (they’ll never know).
it was easier to carry than it was to place all that crap down on the table elegantly i wobbled like crazy and then was like you know what guys here and just slammed it all down one by one dramatically. breakfast and a show. took the cup independently off the tiny (inadequate) saucer (who’s idiotic idea was that anyway jeffrey!? ha mine.) while april and tarek just howled with laughter and off i marched back to make their food.
tarek’s pancake. he ordered the threesome. of course he would (slut).
THREESOME 9.69
two eggs, pancake, your choice of strip bacon,
ham or Canadian sausage, with toast and
fresh fruit garnish
ps. don’t forget the raymi discount you get for all the cheapskates out there thinking boom is sooooo expensive (really? please) go this weekend for brunch and get your hst covered.
needs more batter. i’m not wearing a hat because i’m just cooking for my friends. if was legitimately cooking for real customers i’d have to wear a hairnet or a hat. whatever my hair is pristine and clean enough to eat.
it was a lot of fun in there. i could do it on a regular basis if dan was riding my ass telling me what to do the whole time. though it was really hot.
are you friggin serious this is a v-EGG-y burger? april’s order.
V-EGG-Y STYLE BURGER 8.29
made to order egg patty with sweet potato,
asparagus and Parmesan cheese, garni shed
with caramelized onions and roasted red
pepper, served on an English muffin
oh look a happy wife so happy to just be cooking in an apron your loyal devoted kitchen goddess slave. pfft right where is my throne? i am dying to eat that pancake right now.
time to flip the eggs. i got scared. i’m very dramatic and high strung. nervous. writing this draft is a good airplane distraction i have mega travel anxiety.
i seasoned arpril’s sweet potato fries more than dan would have because I KNOW FOOD TOO and i always liked watching the fries get seasoned at central. it is an art.
i guess i looked super ugly in all the making of the vEGG burger photos as they’re MIA but i assure you i made this and april said it was on par with how it always tastes. she orders it frequently.
scoring the chorizo i said hey look dan here’s a technique you dunno look what i taught YOU he’s all yeah yaeh sure totally culinary school, bah right raymi.
spreading guac. i ordered the nice white tuna. when dan saw the chit he was like of course this is yours i see what you order at boom. he asked me if i liked guac. sure i do why don’t you? i like to get in fights with people over things they refuse to eat pursely for stupid reasons, stubbornness mainly. i like to get to the heart of the issue. were you traumatized by an avocado once?
why the hell would i want another piece of lettuce on my sandwich? zero nutritional value and it gets in the way. dan agreed, about as healthy as sawdust.
look it’s the raymi D list POS, not just a button, an ENTIRE SCREEN! awesome. ps. everyone in my circle we are going to plan a boom holiday bender before christmas at the college street location. i’ll make an fb event for it. don’t forget when you’re out eating your regular brunch every day of the week you can get your raymi discount at any boom location. the food is delicious. the atmosphere is cozy. the service, friendly and charming. maybe you’ll get a raymi sighting out of it too.
pretty lazy with the wings, attached to the drum still. you have to order appetizers here so fat pisstanks don’t wobble in with their giant beers and no i haven’t had a hurricane yet, nor last time. i have class.
secret cloud beds you would die if you touched down in one and never leave. you’re stapled into it like a happy cocoon sponge. wonder what it’s like blasting in one. leslie?
great hair. shoulda seen it last nite. ok byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
we’re an hour behind toronto time here too eh. so i have been waking up earlier and getting more out of the day. we have to go to a cigar shoppe today. i guess i’ll have to buy some ridiculous souvenirs too. maybe another mask. ps. blog post title apparently isn’t in poor taste according to you know who.
went to legendary storyland. they were cranking christmas jams, retro ones. it was pretty amazing to see something i’ve only ever seen before on the internet.
storyland survived katrina as it was buffered from the old world style of, uh, playgrounds. it was completely flooded. it’s all over the internet, freaks love it. so eerie and cool. three dollars a person. princess parties were going on. leslie tricked some kids into thinking i was a kid too. she’s a big kd. one girl goes yeah she IS a big kid. haha yeah replete with tattoos.
everything is done up too. reminds me of midnight in the garden of good and evil. they’re filming a movie with christian slater and christopher walken around the corner. saw the house that the song the house of the rising sun is about.
does this constitute as chil pr0n? i straddled snow white in front of a little girl we walked away and she did the same thing. i was horrified. leslie got a picture of it. i was posing for a picture and being funny not sexual. another lesson.
i asked leslie out of curiosity, not that i care or anything just wanted to know if i look like a shithead in pictures like say a girl looking at my blog and seeing me do they think wow, fuck her. i hate her? she said they think who does this chick think she is. basically. hmm.
i looked out and down from this perch and was like woah. dangerous. very wobbly and i so towered over the edge. brain damage for sure if i fell off it.
i guess it was similar-feeling to disneyland at christmas time though i wouldn’t know as i’ve never been. sad face. meaning more about how it is to see the christmas stuff in hot weather, the connection in the brain, wires crossed, as a canadian especially in a place like new orleans where they go big at xmas time.
the title of my post is something i said over the mic to these chicks at karaoke once. leslie loves it i can hardly take watching myself wasted rap blathering at the fox n fiddle (that hole) we’re going tomorrow to another place with her friend. she sent the video of me singing so what’cha want over to let her know what’s in store.
we went to a sex club last nite that is essentially a shit stripper hole. i gave away a lot of money because the sight of the cheap bar flies pissed me off a lot and sometimes i like to pretend i am daddy warbucks. there was a young pregnant chain smoking stripper too. almost got a great cell phone photo of some of the evidence.
ok sunshine time.
oh and my laptop has a virus again. thanks anonymouse.org you piece of shit. send help.
