guide to saturday

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pop art. i loved the colour cross-match.

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get out of bed around 11 or so. make coffee for everyone. wake n bake. start drinking about 1. diet cran oj vodkas. girl weekend. early to bed on friday. i guess i am an old lady by now, in to bed early with me. britt made many comments about it. raymi the pussy.

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tree trim was an all afternoon lazy affair. need to dig out last year’s ornaments, cool black matte, sparkled balls and hearts and stars. very gotham.

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we made dance videos too. starring this hero of course. who knows if they’re usable.

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dad did the lights.

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grandma/grandpa’s tree ornaments. sentimental things. nostalgic. explosion.

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kinda dr. seussy. which is my tree decorating style this year apparently. stoner decorating is hilarious. you get super anal about certain garland tinsel ornament placements. after seeing britt’s tree though, wow, that is what real anal is about. we were so wound up from coffee driving life i dunno we did all her dishes together when back to the city like psychotic robots. she goes monica. it’s my favourite. i am all about control right now, the more i have over things, my environment, tasks completed, structure, order, routine, ahhhhhh like a steam valve releases in your mind.

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watched 15 episodes of 30 rock yesterday. i identify with liz lemon far too much i was inwardly cringing at native richard gere’s when he’d laugh at all her gaffs, nerdy sayings, foibles.

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not embarrassed but, i don’t feel the need to lay claim to another’s character and project it on to myself. i don’t need you to see me in a certain way to feel better or more interesting. you will find these things out on your own time.

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he called me a charlatan. before that, a fraud. i hide. i am gamey he meant, always playing games. i have a mask. i can go between raymi and lauren. people always need to analyze me and tell me their findings like they’re personality detectives and they have outwitted my personality, or, personalities.

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i look gruesome dark and kinda edie trainwreck skeleton here and bonus i am pointing to a now-defunct empire. was eaton’s an empire? i think so. i heard tommy hilfiger stormed eaton’s when they went under (what happened there again?) to snatch up his merchandise so people couldn’t purchase it at insanely discounted prices. is that evil? i wore a pea jacket of his for awhile that was my mother’s and this hippie chick i used to sleep with said he was an evil man and i should cover up the hilfiger modest centimeter square-sized flag logo. i considered it. it was at around the time i was heavily into media advertising in high school and i had adopted an adbuster’s idealism, non-conformist epithet. but really, it’s cos i was a cheapskate and broke most of the time. eventually you get older and you crave quality goods, they are a comfort and they represent comfortable living, achievement. status. suffice it to say i did not tear the tommy flag off my jacket. one of my bike’s is an eaton’s too. leant it to casie.

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my dad was so happy about the tree and not having to decorate it himself, or period. he went over to bob’s to party for a bit and beam about his daughter and her friend britt. bob drove by and saw jersey plates in dad’s drive and then the burlington times hotline was ablaze. he said is snooki over?? raymi’s big news over there heheh i am a thing of lore now like braveheart whatever his name is they’re all AND HE IS 10 FEET TALL AND HAS SWORDS FOR FINGERS AND SLAYED MANY BEASTS!

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does this feel like you are putting a tree together yourself?

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i look like my grade two christmas pageant angel costume. seriously. cheapestly constructed outfit ever compared to all the portuguese kids and the italians i was like lisa simpson in a homer-made thing except the neighbourhood seamstress did it. you’d think chicks who could sew would know style. nope.

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snack time flash blow out.

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recipe: three different kinds of cereal – kashi clusters, some bran high fibre thing and a sprinkle of just right (flakes) add three mini cups of to-go lunch bag yogurts, and a lot of blueberries.

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pop art that shit.

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house overtaken.

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today james called me a diva a billion times. i get really angry and collapse in laughter out of frustration from not being able to stick up for myself cos he does it right before he tells me to begin a set of something, the plank or lifts. he says i should get a shirt that says defensive on it. i don’t deny it. he doesn’t understand why i get defensive though about being called a diva because i yell out fuck you i work VERY hard and he says he knows that i do but i’m also a diva. i didn’t know you could be both, thought you had to be one or the other. he goes wow, you learned something, monday december 13, 10.30am… SUCH A SMART ASS!

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anyway i feel amazing after today’s session. i hit the elliptical for 5 intense maniac minutes afterward. i learned that a picture of me is going on the new flyers. hahahamazing. james says if it works out i’ll be their spokesmodel. i said yeah sure it would be an honour (it would) but also no problem f that i’m going to be in playboy too so never you mind worrying about me not getting fit. i am obsessed and driven. you guys can go check out the motion room for free you know, see how you like it. they’ll give you a session and they won’t intimidate you into feeling on the spot to sign up right away. it’s just as much as a gym if you do the math but you actually see results, it’s a tough work out that challenges you and helps with focus. i am way happier since i joined. i look forward to it too. there are so many benefits.

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these are only interesting to me. rocky was wedged in like a weirdo.

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that’s his chair though. he is like a dog. we are so gay for him.

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coffeeing up for city time.

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i am blown away by the cereal i have and leave and forget at my dad’s. my diet there consists of malbec cereal lots of coffee and supermarket sushi and salads. clockwork.

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raspberry strawberry apple flavoured optivia (what weird word am i thinking of) yogurt. flavour pow. love kashi. used to go to stewart’s all the time after a late central shift to smoke pot and inhale kashi til 6am. crazy summer eh guy?

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think i’ll have a good soak and a read now. lookin’ good monday! reading two books at the moment. superdad and sarah.

cramps dyyyyyyyyyying.