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here i am on the floor of yyz (toronto airport to everybody else) kind of totally kicked in the head by our wild whirlwind montreal expedition. i’m emo about my toe and bagged but i’m cool about it cos i’m going straight to a nurse comedown get together, ease back in to the real world delay, thankfully. we waited forever for our luggage on the carousel.

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melinq wrote us all love notes while waiting to board our flight back. i gave her a product placement brand name. it goes against everything she stands for, which makes it funnier. also like driving around in my uncle’s hummer last nite with my cousin in the snow. so wrong but so right.

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post brunch. it was psychedelic. going through security was like right out of a movie me and lucas trying to keep it together. lucas was pretty joaquin phoniexy there. impressively so.

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night one casie/stew’s room. this would be the waltz of the benefactress.

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why do i have the style of a garbage pail kid? that yellow shirt is melodie’s. i absconded it. we share our entire wardrobe. i proposed rearranging the picture on the wall. stew entertained the notion. i recanted. we’re trying to keep the rock and roll spirit alive.

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lucas diamond phillips.

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i don’t know how but this outfit kind of totally works. and i look pretty young too. i’m gonna be drew barrymore in that spoof movie where she poses as a highschooler when really she’s thirty. woman predator.

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just try and fight it.

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here comes the raymi cherry on top.

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to be young and stylish and good looking, oh life.

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inspiration for my blog post title. here. evidence.

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if someone is going to christen my bed by standing on it before i get a chance, that’s a ballsy move.

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oh dear.

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this is more embarrassing backwards. everyone was doing this stupid pose i’m doing i assure you i only did it this once. we were mocking and giving in to the frat boy mentality. these dudes are all football players, 19-20. very, very green.

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they were fun to hang with.

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oh totally. casie you are gorgeous.

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oh my god. no longer surprising.

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stupid pose again. when you’re cute you can get away with anything.

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this young guy was such a smooth little criminal. i put him in his place a few times. naturally.

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shit show. melodie and i came down from my room to this crime scene. we heard it was a bottle of vodka at first. oh poor panda. learn how to pace.

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the criminal. so loaded. good start brah hahaha.

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mmm sumptuous curtains. melodie and i were having a spat meanwhile my neighbours were jamming away and in between our fight silences there’d be moaning like porno doing it. it was too humourous and neither mel nor i were going to budge from our positions. fine.

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swooning. fabulous decor.

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oh hey there who’s your friend?

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dunno says pipi pony she’s been ignoring me all night.

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serious times in the bar lounge. this chick was invited by her ex dude to impress her into digging him again and it worked. french contest winner. slam it out of the ballpark much inq? love story to the max.

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shit pic.

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more of the same of that.

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had the place to ourselves until the place filled up.

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i’m going to wear a bow tie. you’ll see.

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oh hi there.

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both lose for faces in this one. well maybe not.

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THE WIN.

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dance my ass up and down the stairs incorporate back and forth to bar into moves.

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buh. am pickled.

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club bains douche. what is with that name seriously i know it means bath house but you know, uh guys. nevermind.

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crashed at uncle’s last nite. maniacal on the elliptical i am.

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weighed self. hate self.

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hair did at funky toque. amazing colourist.

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tan lines faaaaaaading.

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s’morning at uncle’s.

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red flag’s.

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nite steak last nite pre-hot tub.

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escargots.

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couldn’t get the home movies going. apparently mom was in this footage too.

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s’morning. all the kerouacs go blind in the end.

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BUILDING MY EMPIRE.

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BURGLIN’ SHIT.

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COMPLETE AND WHOLE ANGEL 100%

BURLINGTON WHUUUT!

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ok, here we go.

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last nite i was pretty knackered so i thought to myself, date with a fish or emma’s backporch with my mom and co. and be somewhat mellow about it. the proof of my decisions are as follows…

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we kinda hold court when we party here. it’s wing nite. they all come out. also it was the game. went to tin cup first, wasn’t feeling it.

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look how much i am being stared at here. everyone who goes to emma’s in burlington are pretty rural, or even more so than that. those guys were from ancaster? alliston? whatever. they are beguiled by me big time. these guys both couldn’t get it together then one of my requests (they played every single one) came on and i said excuse me gentleman i have to go dance slutty with my mom now thanks.

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some were better dancers than others. me? shithead through and through.

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i am never wearing those pants ever again. mom called them jc hammer pants. cousin jeremy and i died laughing at her and insert the mention into regular conversation.

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see how i have to show my entire outfit? see my future over there top left? (we’ll come back to that). lois in the pink shirt is my new little doll. we swapped headbands. see how i am turning everyone around me into me? she brought that headband specifically for me. i love it.

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the young crowd came out. i am the older one lurking the youngers getting a taste of my own medicine.

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this is my stressed out gossip intake face. stroking my locks obsessively.

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the dudes cockblock the girls. everyone wears black and has light blond/white hair. including me. awesome.

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girl with the gloves kept asking me to take her picture. we started the dance party. we always do. or i do. wet blanket girls were scowling at me. i so don’t care. the guys were loving it.

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yeah yeah come fuck with this ol’suburby really what you should be doing is dancing with me you stupid assholes.

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i hawk-eyed the room and put phil to work. he did up my shoelace a few times. one of my game move strategies is doing up my shoe or getting a guy to do it up for me. everybody wins. you’ll see.

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maybe i should wear a crucifix and dine alone in a swank italian restaurant.

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this outfit is kinda skinheady. if i put the yellow laces in will i look like ronald mcdonald? i knew the avante garde pants would look great with these boots and fake out into visualizing suspenders.

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i don’t even need to take my camera out of the car when i go out with mom.

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uh, future much? she bee-lined me. gravitated. oh hi there. she’s an ex model. she was givin’er.

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totally normal pose, nothing’s going on here.

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amazing.

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he’s 20.

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raymbo bright attack.

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i ate the fuck out of those nachos.

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this guy gets it. he’s one of the regulars too. they rip me hard.

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this outfit is so nineties. it’s tripping me out.

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i was pretty tired. and pretty.

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i snapped at this guy. he cupped my ass. he’s going to be on the food network on that show, food wars? i fucking lost it. they weren’t going to use the footage cos they were trainwreck drunk. i was like they so are and he said yeah they called the following week. got them wasted. he was blotto too. dude if you fucking ever touch me again i will throw you down some stairs you can’t do that. i walked away to phil and said i’m taking a time out right now otherwise i cause an enormous scene.

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i’ve never gotten so many hugs before in my life. it’s the hair and the overall personality mellow out i think.

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the guys behind us were dying over our antics.

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inflatable bopper fight. i got my mom in the face so many times i can’t wait to tell my brother.

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this is just a normal night. seeing the kardashians with my mom last nite on the people’s choice awards was like watching us.

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oh hey jeremiah. haven’t seen you since last christmas when my life was in a complete mess for other reasons.

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very, very much cut from the same cloth. this is the kerouac side proper.

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and speaking of eerie future this is your boat cruise captain contest winners from my tenth anniversary party at wrong bar. there are many things to take note of in this photograph. the similar allignment to my mother and i, and hair, my cousin and his dad (my mom’s brother, my uncle) and the necessity of his shirt removal to neurotically showcase his work out progress. we’re on our way over to his place now to have steak and escargots and a hot tub while the snow falls on us. i never see these people so when i do we um, do these things together?

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my favourite. jeremy and i know how ridiculous this is but normal for us. this is the reality show right fucking here. there is so much more backstory too. it just keeps going.

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my uncle is two years older than my mom.

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on our way to my dad’s.

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showing my uncle my cafe du lac review post. he won dinner for two there at my party.

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awkward family photo.

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HOT TUB TIME MACHINE TIIIIIIME!

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went to see black swan last nite (amazing) with stew. first we went to jack astors at YDS to make fun of people who go to jack astors. also it’s near the theatre. next time it’s milestones. i really really love suburban lameness because it makes me feel like a big fish but also it’s kind of comforting to blend in and have all your first world needs catered to, overpriced crappy food? bring it on. waitress brought me three hot sauces. they blew my brains out. i have a hot sauce problem.

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my mom totally ruined the plot for me and then i ruined it for you on twitter. sorry. thanks mom. it was her own interpretation of the movie anyway and they don’t exactly address it in the end but you cannot avoid thinking about it or viewing it in this vein once the seed is planted in your head. i angry texted my mom halfway through YOU RUINED THIS MOVIE FOR ME THANK YOU.

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we saw that building that was burned down a we were burning a doob with cops all over the place it was like a crime scene abandoned disneyland with the christmas lights everywhere. i must go back and take some pics of the lights in yds. i love that shit. i am what i make fun of. total tourist geek.

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loving the docs. everyone tells me their docs story when they notice them. apparently we all invented docs COOL GUYS THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW. can you also tell me where you were when nine eleven happened too? follow that up with where your mom was when neil armstrong landed on the moon.

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we smuggled in vodka. obviously.

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then went to the beac to drop in on stew’s friend’s bday get together.

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i was in a pretty good mood. stew was explaining blogging to these guys and why we were all away in montreal together and then i took a picture of my feet and he’s like SEE this is what raymi does. yeah don’t worry it all makes sense on the internet i swear. i can feel your smirking when i do this and i so totally don’t care.

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i found a hat earlier in the day. britt was like no it’s bad karma don’t take it. you know how many hats i have lost? my favourite hats? it’s just a black knit hat. you know what’s bad karma? the flu or a head cold. this shit is mine now.

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i weighed myself this morning at the motion room and i’ve gained weight yet um look at me, twig city. thanks muscles i want to die now. james was like do NOT weigh yourself.

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there is nothing awkward about this photo.

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this is how it isn’t done.

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ok maybe it is.

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i really liked how long my arm was in this one and showed it to a few people and they were like yes it is long go away. i was in a good mood and that good mood involved being a shithead you would have been proud. you know when you know you’re being irritating and you can’t stop yourself nor do you care what anybody is thinking about you? so rarely get to experience indifference cos i’m so intense all the time wow i can’t believe i am bragging about being happy over a feeling i had.

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howling hour.

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kind of charles dickensy vibe. scrooge. my next date i will request the venue to have the atmosphere, look and feel of a christmas carol. i mean, duh.

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scoping the last callers. me and stew should have a predator reality dating show. we are never going to get boyfriends if we keep hanging out together cos obviously we look like we’re on a date at jack astors.

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a “date” met me here for a drink once. a famous guy. i was not pretty enough in real life for anything to happen but his arrival in meeting me was epic because the ex boyfriend of a girl who pretty much hates me watched it all go down and he was on his blackberry the entire time and i felt like it was possible he was typing OMG it’s raymi alone at the bar and we kept avoiding staring at one another and we’ve never been officially introduced but we both so know who the other is, anyway it was awkward and i felt way too on display and platinum and self conscious and was wearing my stevie nicks black gauzy dress shirt thing with no pants and i’m thinking alright fine if he’s going to have this mega-staring problem at me then wait til he gets a fucking load of who is on their merry way to meet me right now i get the text that he’s one minute away and i swivel like a panther in my stool legs crossed hair like scarface michelle pfieffer arms back on the bar leaning like james dean (lean like james dean nice you must credit me that one) and in through the door of the beac walks my famous date right into my arms we embrace i kiss him on the cheek and then fluidly look over my left shoulder back at staring problems and his agape mouth total in shock statue. it was perfect.

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that perfect timing moment is up there with another shitty date at reposado i was in the dark place talking about how depressed i was trying to deflect this guy off me like crazy and he’s falling hard, it’s backfiring large and in walks ron sexsmith i say hey do you like ron sexsmith? he goes i LOVE ron sexsmith and without skipping a beat i go hi ron and he goes hi raymi he was right behind him. the guy DIED. ron sat beside me and the guy was just, i looked super fucking cool is the point. then he got mad at me for blogging about it. i’m sorry but that moment in time belongs to me i am not keeping it a secret no way.

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how weird does this longer jacket look beneath my shorter leather? oh that’s right, i don’t fucking care.

stew came over for a bit to do crazy loud workouts (sorry melucas) and then he left at 5am to eat a big mac. i was almost seduced. i told my trainer and he was like wow. but then, big macs ARE delicious. now i can’t stop thinking about big macs. GREAT.

ps. i’m stronger now and really good at push ups.

wordsmith out.

oh yeah see this red chair?

we want it out of adventurehouse come take it today someone please thanks.

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there’s something funny to me about filling up a modern leather waste bin with glass beer bottles. the bathroom one too. it’s just so obnoxious and debaucherous. i picture a hobo pilfering the contents of these swanky garbages and trotting off to the booze store to cash in the bottle deposit thinking what fucking fat cat assholes we are.

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a billion o’clock in the morning post NYE, third room service order? the guy hated us and totally didn’t believe lucas anymore for calling again about the water beer bottle he’s like you know you can just order more beers you don’t have to tell stories. it was like 5am and one couldn’t even pick a fight with a spoon by that hour so he just let the guy think we were liars. i accidentally pounded some of the water beer, it was gross, despite everything tasting like water at that point i know for fact that was not beer.

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this was the most flattering photo of my foot. i have hair stubble on my toes from shaving those guys (who doesn’t other than lumberjacks?) so i KNEW you’d rip me for it so you only get a far away shot. time for a pedicure much? my baby toe always looks horny (hahaha)(slut) that’s from dance. mel was like is this one broken too? nope, it just looks that way because i am a troll.

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bottomless mimosas and a very nice waitress totally grasping our combined stupidities. i could barely eat but i forced food down regardless. somehow i lost weight this weekend. i guess that thing about eating more working in your favour for weight loss is true. it seemed like we were constantly eating. shop eat hair eat drink drink party eat sleep eat eat and so on.

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melodiva in my tracey shirt and me setting up some ridiculously contrived dance move, a rockette high kick? sure why not.

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i had to show these little boys who was in charge. wimpy long legs, that’s who.

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THIS PICTURE WOULD BE GREAT IF YOU COULD SEE IT!

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get used to this cos i have content featuring it for the next fucking week.

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rosemary frites. enough said.

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superhero raymi. my powers include: narcolepsy, candle making, tantric crying, impulsive sidewalk kissing and talking to inanimate objects. feel safe now.

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i have a ton of bopping melodie in the face shots but i’m laughing too hard which means fat face so i don’t know if i’m gonna share those yet. we have been laughing our asses over them though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325375696/in/photostream/

my mouth is big enough to blow this phone so maybe i should to show my gratitude.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324766809/in/photostream/

it’s nonna raymi come in come in i made you sandwich it’s been so long!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325374126/in/photostream/

stuffing meats in my mouth like the greedy little goose i am. took my time coming downstairs and everything was picked over so i scavenged.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324765035/in/photostream/

the french contest winners. i put them in their place right away. they liked it. that guy got so tanked. not everyone can pace themselves like me. i, am a professional for hire. i can drink you under the table (not for long though) and when you’re crying for no more i’ll be floating on a red satin pillow, doing whimsical things that i can’t think of right now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324764265/in/photostream/

i love hotel lounges. you can be anonymous and pretend like you actually are money or important. wait what am i saying i am both of those things. but still, people will be snooty to you, it’s just the way it is. you have to own shit and out-snoot or be snooted.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325371054/in/photostream/

can i have this please?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325370198/in/photostream/

i bought another diamond necklace today, that one is getting a bit coppery on the chain. had a good run though. i go through necklaces like mental.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324761453/in/photostream/

there can never be too much ass. practice for pantsless subway ride.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324760453/in/photostream/

holy crap shiny nose forever. i’m boo-hooing over how cute and single i am.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325367522/

melodie’s backpack makes it look like i’m sitting on a wheelchair at first glance. did i blog this one already? i get confused if i pre-facebook profile pic a photo. some goodies get lost and never make it here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324758417/in/photostream/

this would be more believable if it didn’t look like i was rolling my eyes hahaha. oh casie. squeeze.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325255082/in/photostream/

my return home bohemian sloth-out. very much needed.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324647569/in/photostream/

this was kind of not funny at all. requires too much looking cos they don’t speak. then you look away and miss something and are lost and just irritated.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324647023/in/photostream/

i can’t believe on pof how many people ask me what longboarding is. ok dude you just got yourself a no response.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325253698/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325253380/in/photostream/

the many mysteries of raymi’s secret life.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5324645837/in/photostream/

nice vampire eyes. mid blink and eyes were stingy from fresh makeup application.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325252552/in/photostream/

toe nurse. she taped them. melodie did a treatment to take the swelling and bruising away. good to go now so glad not broken. fuck that would bum me out a lot.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325251880/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5325251468/in/photostream/

2011 better be heaven.

smell ya later.

seeing a movie with stew so pumped. avoiding my messy room.