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raymi’s blogger boot camp

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hello my people, having a nice sunday? that’s great.

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first up we have casie kasem brilliant blog peer hyper-active monster competitor (hyper-active competitor not blog competitor, we only pretend to be in competition to fuck with you guys) with/of/by yours truly. i knew she could hack the motion room. james put her through it. think she loved it too. i yelled out at one point SHE LOVES TO BE TOLD. ahh it was super fun working out together i got a contact high going through these photos again.

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off we go now.

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i love doing the ladder. i pride myself on my speed, co-ordination, agility and hyper-activeness. i am like a hamster in a wheel, i can do drills forever.

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squats.

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having casie go down the line with me was exhilarating cos you’re being chased, challenging one another.

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what am i doing? i don’t know but it looks magical.

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oh that’s right i turned some of these moves into dance moves. super fun. (drunk still).

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bear walk (my terminology) the ladder. i am better at this now by far. i just love being fit. not that i was pathetic at this to start but my upper body strength left much to be desired not to mention all of my fat storage goes right to my arms.

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now, i am an animal, i mean, i meow at people. come on meow.

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glorious.

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no slow-pokin’, casie’s right behind me.

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still slightly inelegant at this. i lumber.

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we focused a lot on the ladder.

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what a sprite. she can do a backflip you know.

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an actual move you start doing what i am doing (it is not required to pose as gracefully though if you want to stand like a sloth then by all means) and then you lunge into a box and work your way down the ladder like how casie is demonstrating. yesterday when i worked out with april and britt at tmr we were doing some stuff with the football hurdles (?) and we timed it to look like a cascading synchronized waterfall of hot babes coming down the turf. i think we have something here.

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come and get me.

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i am neurotic about my form and keeping my core tight as all gym rats aspire and obsess over. you want to master the movement not to just get through it but to get results from it.

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kash taught me a great trick for my carpal tunnel (left wrist ganglion cyst blob)(ew i know right) you do abc’s, a b c d through the whole alphabet flicking your wrist in an octogonal isolated movement and it loosens up the tightness in your wrist. helps me do my push ups which i am obsessed with mastering.

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casie killed it and i was screaming like an orangutan through it to show i could too and didn’t give myself a break going back through it again.

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hips low, work through the burn. ass down, don’t hunch, no cheating.

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i am a giraffe.

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chasing casie.

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no like this. haha just kidding i was pretending to correct form for the sake of a perverted photograph like a tennis instructor in a p0rno.

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oh triceps and biceps here i come.

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there was just a little bit of dying. that’s when the endorphins flood you and you keep going and going. i am definitely addicted to this work out life of mine now my life can be falling down around me and i am shielded from it from all the do-good being a work out machine has done for my overall happiness state of being. it also tastes better than brunch.

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doy.

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this is fun, like a compass, side step on bounce off then the other spazz has a go then you go then they go forever and ever and ever. fun. works your core and thigh backs, probably other things i forget.

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sometimes my legs look so peggy i feel very endeared by them like aw, there goes long legs skinny i bet she reads books and says super awkward things to strangers in coffeeshops then goes home and eats oatmeal and is weird like the chick from the shining.

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unintentional sock co-ordination.

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reminds me of those bubble toys you buy for 50 cents that blast up to the ceiling when you flip them inside out. reverse convex? i can never remember concave or convex. great here cometh the nerds.

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my next “thing” will be to pretend like i am really smart. maybe i shouldn’t be telling you this i should just BE smarter and then you’d just notice on your own by seeing photos of me um, in a lab coat.

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love these balls. don’t move the sand within them. keepsarms long and straight out not bent (you’ll get bette at it), if you bend you are wasting your time. the straighter (the harder it is) they are, the more you work your triceps. don’t make me tell you twice.

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blogging gives you muscles.

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bahahah whose face is more awesome here? could so totally easily photoshop-swap them face/off styles.

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abs check. those teeny pants are x-small so they contain my love handles yet also highlight them if i try to wear them like casually on my hips, no go there brah it’s highwaisted all the goddamn way. meanwhile, casie was born with a six pack.

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ugh christ.

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this was difficult.

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we had lots of fun. giggle fit explosions simultaneous to set-completion. very entertaining and motivating.

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just noticing our tattoos here looks good. one time i said to james omg shut up you’re distracting me something or other and he’s like the only thing that’s distracting is your tattoos. why am i such a glutton for punishment is it because i am a selfish asshole? likely.

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face plant contest!

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demonstrating air push ups once we were done making tons of lewd sex swing commentary.

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see how cute i look when i use my little brain? jeff looked over at me and looked nervous for us using these haha. i notice everything.

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maybe we’ll revisit these another day. i like them there it’s like one day you will be mine, i’ll be blasting through futuristic universal soldier air push ups fuck that old fashioned floor over there. floor, more like snore.

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you better be careful.

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limbo time.

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you cannot resist me even though you should. DOUBLE ENTENDRE!

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fun fun fun.

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you take turns pulling back and forth i was like um this is too easy then i pulled with all my might and pulled casie right to the ground and then we laughed our heads off.

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when will there be raymi casie action figures?

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tomorrow i have my assessment. i wonder how much i’ve improved?

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i can see through time here. i get the same rush i get from spicy food at the motion room and i let everyone know when i’m goin’ cosmic. it’s great. reality is for the sufferer. i choose la la land always.

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bear walk. um, nice shot who knew you could see through those pants.

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animals. on a scale of one to lazy where’re you coasting about now looking at this post?

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this move kills your back/abs, burns them, which means works. i am starting to look like an alien in the torso. love it. that’s what the twilight guy said about how much he worked out for his role where he took his shirt off and he looked like patrick bateman in the machinist (yes i know i’m combining two movie references in one here i am bipolar thank you very much). haha what the hell is his real name? anyway you sort of don’t get my point and anyway who cares really, it’s sunday you’re probably a mess right now or doing family stuff.

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joseph had to hold one of my legs for me it is hard for me to do it alone i mean i can do it i’m just lazy and on top of that always had struggle with straightening my freakishly long legs.

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guuuuuuuuh dying can you just do it for me.

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i heard lots of groaning over here too.

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i swear to god if i don’t get in playboy after all this i am going to maxim. or whatever those stupid man magazines are.

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no pain no gain and other simpleton metaphors.

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hey where ya going?

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seriously, does anybody really have to see this? i give my colleague (photog) free-reign of editing photos and selecting whatever he likes cos i’ve lightened up a bit on the control-freakness i suffer from slightly also it frees up more of my time for pot smoking and drawing pictures of moonbeams but anyway, once in awhile he lets these grotesque ones slip through and i winder if he is either sniffing glue or fucking with me. i just matrix’d* the fourth wall fyi.

*the scene when they come to save morpheus and one of them helicopter machine guns out the windows of the building while keanu run dives dodges the agent’s bullets that’s what i did to the fourth wall. i also must re-watch this scene for accuracy’s sake if i am going to be some big shot perfectionist movie-referencer now.

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stay hydrated.

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i recognize that look on james’ face. that’s the look of shit talk.

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totally so is too. must be nice to have a job where you get to scream at people all day long until they crack and then they get you back by doing the plank for an extra 30 seconds. cool justice, not. should we bring not back?

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what’s he whispering!? dying to know.

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um, nice one bangs.

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is there a longest blogger ever award i can be nominated for or what?

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i tried out for black swan but they um, i guess they lost my number for a call back or something.

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if our plane crashes like alive on a mountain i am happy to know that i won’t be chosen to be eaten. ugh barf. well maybe my ass but definitely not my chicken leg.

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arms are transforming. yes guy.

kay thanks bye stay tuned for this!

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also any of you new years eve resolution social media fatties wanna come work out with me and casie please do get in touch, don’t be shy now. you will love the motivational views we provide and then you can just work out on your own there and get hot for beach come summer. you know it always sneaks up on you like that. also, look at me. i’ve been on the results 1 on 1 program for 4-5 weeks now? this month i am totally going to lean out. shit works and i am way stronger, more flexible. yesterday during squats oh man i was so egotistical in the brain it was an accomplishment i feel. i like bendy. you know who else likes bendy? um, wendy?

6 thoughts on “raymi’s blogger boot camp

  1. laughed reading this, i had so much fun. my body is not dying like i thought it might be and i’m ready to go again. btw he was saying “SHUT UP” to me quiet enough that no one could hear but loud enough to make me work my ass off! girl be gettin’ TOLD!

  2. These photos are great! I joined my gym last year in January and i havent been the same since. The fitness lifestyle has become a bit of an obsession for me. I remember blogging about going to a classat 6 am with a girlfriend and being sooo uncoordinated and unable to keep up. I’ve mostly been thin in my life, but as most of us small-framed chicks know, we fluctuate. All i could see was my ass and thighs flopping in the mirror.

    And now, I’m a motherfucking monster. A machine. There is nothing better than feeling every muscle in your body engaged. There’s nothing like seeing your abs carve out their unique definition. A solid, firm, non-fat non-flabby ass is the best. You’ll never see me with Oprah-esque arm wings.

    I have very little tolerance/respect for fatties who complain about being tubby or tell me to eat a sandwich or ask me why i work out when im so thin. I’ve busted my ass to get to where im at, and feel nothing but pride and accomplishment because i DID SOMETHING for myself. And i have my workout partner girls, and it’s slowly spreading and infecting others who join us in the gym! I love it. You gotta work for it; enough with the magic surgeries and caffeine pills. I swear, i could go on forever, but you just go on witchyo bad self and i’ll work on me. And if i’m ever in Canada….

  3. Figuring out which photos are R-approved opposed to R-rated is no easy task. It ranges to ‘no way will she like this’…to ‘she’ll love this’…to smirks on my end and a shoulder shrug of, ‘let’s see if she’ll use it’ :-)

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