another present. this hello kitty thing is getting out of control now haha. once you have “a thing” it just takes over, that’s why some weirdos have like 300 trolls in their office cubicles people get obsessed with your collecting and think they’re helping when really the person is thinking you could take all those trolls and buy me a laptop instead. those are the telepathic messages i am sending out into the ether now.
went upstairs to scope out the roof to see how much ikea i can fit up there. it needs to be cleaned. do you think we can have everything cleaned and ready and assembled by friday? and by we i mean teacher because i am not doing a thing because i am exhausted and a lazy princess. i’m going to post a bunch of shots to embarrass and shame us into tidying we’ve been messier than usual lately.
that table came with the deck cos they put it together up there and it won’t fit through the door, way to go genius. hmm. i’d like a big ass ottoman type cushioned thing in a corner spot. is it smarter to mix and match or buy an entire set? are you glad that date machine is dying a defiant slow death and this is turning into domestic molestic bliss now?
see the lighter pink on my fingers now scroll back to the top, different shade of pink. melodie took my bottle of guava to paris with her, the other colour on my fingers seen here. it suits her more, on my just washes me out as well as makes my fingers look too tanned and dirty.
have been on a chianti kick for awhile. typically i do this until i’ve tried every single one at the lcbo worth buying, capping it off with a vintage or two then move on to the next kind of red which i think will likely be pinot noirs, maybe a baco or two as well if we have enough time. i am a wine snob.
my belt is twirled over. it’s the manchester in us that makes us highlight the negatives/flaws constantly. i hate it. like if you point out you’re tired looking in a photo then the viewer is like, oh, yeah, thank YOU for pointing that out. burn. maybe if you don’t mention it they won’t notice.
like, please ignore my middle finger. no way in hell you’re doing that now. yeah this bracelet is not for me, going to exchange it when teachy gets home. i’d wear this but not very frequently. i like stuff i’ll get more mileage from. i am spoiled and i know i deserve it.
mel and i vibed out this hipster photo shoot, they cut it wicked short. my zoom-ins were all of the ground and the brick wall, here is a closer look. i’ve seen the long haired around town, mel’s like, yeah i think i know a girl who f–ed him. awesome. i also captured the airplane.
they saw us watching when mel approached, we should have stared down at them from the roof for ultra awkward. hipsters vibing out hipsters. never-ending and no we cannot all get along. unfortunately.
if you’re too lazy to get off the couch to stretch or perform any sort of exercise, do it on the couch then. here i’m not actually doing anything though.
this looks like it was survivor night, yup it was. today is also survivor night. i am friends with tv again. just in time for oprah to pack’er in no!!!!
uhhhhh oh yeah i was hugging the cat. well, surrounding her like a cave trap. she loves me and purrs instantly when i cuddle her like no one has bothered to in 13 years. she is nameless. sometimes called barfer. the other one is called garbage cat (she came from the garbage and looks like it ahahahahaha) but the latest name for her is LADY GARBAGE. ahahaha i am losing my mind from my period i think or this is just how i am now at 28. great!
i haven’t done laundry in so long when will i ever get to wear those pants again? i just visited the tickle trunk. more like the tickle DUMP but anyway, yeah, i have a lot of spring ceaning in my future and trinkets to get rid of. i am going to take it all to bellwoods and lay it on a blanket and lie there like a lazy hippie until it’s all gone. i’ll let you know what that day is, you should bring all your junk too and then we can build a junk landscape overtaking the park it would be amazing.
my floor sock balls make me laugh. there is no doubt that i have been in a place cos all of my discarded clothings are left exactly where i left them, shoes taken off so fast it looks like a person dematerialized into thin air hours later go back and the shoes have not moved. i picked up bad habits from melucas. i hope mel is having an awesome time in paris right now i’m jealous. or jalouse.
i am even skinnier than this today. i can’t shake my cough i hope i’m not sick again i’ve felt nauseous all day. right now i’m drinking gingerale and veg broth and pretending i am fasting still, and living in a forest where they drink broth of leaves and branches.
even though it’s cruel to de-claw cats, think her life would improve for the better as she’d get more hugs and cuddles from me, which is probably selfish of me (definitely) but ultimately no it’s not, if a cat wants to be hugged maybe it should take into consideration other people’s feelings of not wanting to be stabbed by razor snake teeth sharp claws. who is the cruel one now? ok i think i have bored myself sufficiently enough for the time being now i will go make myself useful elsewhere like on my mom’s facebook wall.
i was drunk pretty much immediately. colleague doesn’t drink. where’s your booze ticket dude? he’s all i dunno? WHAT!? def sign of a non-drinker if you’re so caj about a drank ticket like that, that’s post-work golden ticket. i almost pitched a psychotic drunkahol fit. no kidding. i just have social anxiety and didn’t bring my invisibility cloak.
beet salad. i can eat this. love beets. one time i was consuming nothing but bananas and tea (i was a rake) and my blood test (physical) came back that i had a lot of potassium in me, which of course made me paranoid that i was a living bomb and might blow up so then i was afraid to eat bananas so now i wonder what kind of WMD i’ll be with whatever the fancy technical term for beets is. must wikipedia. ok i just did and was bored instantly, why can’t they tell me at the top what beets are good for?
these women did not want to be involved with these shots. when you’re going pro (camera-hamming) and have news reporter hair people believe you’re actually i dunno, legitimate? so it’s funny. guys relax this is just going on my little-o-blog thing, you know, it’s just a little hobby no biggie hahaa.
it was funny that i actually received about an inch of wine like how i would treat myself to a cheat during my cleanse with my poverty-style portions and then my first night out i get a restricted (private party) amount just like home.
i was like just throw me one over the pass and then i saw kitchen hearts melt cos i was speaking industry lingo (that i learned from hell’s kitchen ahaha).
why the concave in the bar like that is it for server trays? surely there is a functional purpose for it other than helping showcase the beautiful slender what is my hand.
this will be a great date bar. if you hate each other it can be over easy, lets just have a glass and if we like each other it turns into snacks. in a restaurant setting it’s way more of a commitment which is why idiots always suggest coffee, one foot out the door before they even meet you. so tasteless. i might be too old-fashioned for this world.
it’s hard to model in front of scumbags so i had to make smug face to mask my shyness. i hate that people with mean faces aren’t actually mean, they’re just shy. can you make more of an effort please you’re vibing the rest of us out and making everybody uncomfortable. sounds like it’s time for a raymetiquette post.
the longer my hair the longer people listen to me. she has very long hair so i listened to her big time. i don’t write the rules guys that’s just how they be. melodie has short hair now, i stopped listening to her ages ago hahaa.
i HATE the cut of this shirt on my arms. i will never get over those pythons despite being toneder than ever. i am enjoying my leg definition. every time i go into TMR everybody comments on my results. kash said i have “the line” it goes all down my thigh. i thought my legs were totally in shape and perfectly sculpted to begin with. they were but i certainly didn’t have no skinnay lines going down my thighs like a junky’s jowels in the face.
i looked like beautiful shit yesterday (allergies are ruining my life). doesn’t transfer into pics but in real life it always amazes me the days i go out like princess slob garbage those are the days i come home egotistical as ever cos dudes are like, i want that slob princess for my basement dungeon right now.
new polish. it’s called cupid. it was the last one and is actually different from all my other various shades of barbie hello kitty mental problems pink.
teacher brought me to dinner on the danforth to celebrate my finger painting show and tell yesterday. haha. so cute. he gave me good pointers before my talk, saying that once you stand up in front of kids, if you’re a visiting speaker they just assume you are an expert and know what you are talking about, which shot the nerve jangles right outta me.
this cake was bland. i’m glad they didn’t drown it in chocolate sauce, number one cake saver (bland hider). it was taken off the bill. i didn’t intend for that to happen we were mellow just hanging with our drinks. fine by me, make it free. we only ate 1/5 of it. it sat on our table while we chatted and i’d scrape slivers from it and be disappointed every time, normally i oprah my way through food.
guinness cake. oh i get it it’s look like a pint of guinness! i proclaimed, teacher goes OHHH now I just got it! we were sitting in the smart section obvs.
i needed a grandma-appropes picture. keeping the tradition alive. i am also really into my i don’t give a shit outfits lately, why bother? you can tell i am getting more arrogant the sloppier i dress. the more i try hard, the fatter i am (or feel). so if i dress like tracey with perfectly done hair and running shoes with fitness pants, it means i think i look really good. husband bait.
lisa has a gorgeous clutter-free room. it’s like a show room in the design center. passing through it to the pisser or balcony i was like, k i’ll take that throw, lamp and chandelier. do you remember my chandelier joke, speaking of? ok here it is get ready.
i want to crouching tiger hidden dragon these trees so bad. teacher hasn’t seen that movie. he hasn’t seen anything. i have no idea what the hell he was doing before me.
wicked. turns out i knew lisa’s roommate. i’m all hi nice to meet you i’m lauren she’s all, hey i recognize you, yeah? me too. aren’t you, raymi? ding ding ding. bitch i’m so famous i get recognized in your how-ooose!
lisa thinks this house or their floor was for mafia daughters. it is totally daughter of privilege seeming. it has a bidet in the bathroom, that’s made of marble. yeah. i think mc hammer was their designer. when he went bankrupt they showed his ugly ass house every inch slabbed in marble. i like that my brain hangs on to things like that. at the end of the day i am the better story teller than all the other bloggers, we try to dissect and analyze this blog success thing all the time and then i’m like i dunno, it’s cos i was just here longer i guess but no, colleague says it’s my writing and memory recall. clients are astounded when they read their advertorials that i remembered everything they said. i bumped in to one the other day and he gushed all over me about my writing. hmm. maybe i should focus on that more. maybe? my priorities are so straight haha.
reward. they look so big in my hand. i do have small hands for a girl of my height and overall, size? slightly under-proportion. meh. i go to teacher here’s a picture to satisfy you’re pedophiliac desires (jokes!) and then i show him this, see, see how big they look in my hands? suffice it to say he was expecting a way sexier picture than this with a build-up like that. you were at a high school today, come on. DUDE SO WERE YOU LIKE EVERYDAY WTF.
i will be teaching a business class today wearing this. i’m goin’ miss smith on ‘em. ya right no way as if i have the nards to wear that i’ve been to this school i know what i’m signing up for. when i used to do presentations (all the time cos i’m a talker and the nervous teacher would let me take over for her) it wouldn’t take long until i was abusively snapping back at all the general kids (business wasn’t offered as an advanced course in grade ten or there was some reason why i didn’t take it and chose the business for dummies credit, i figured out a loophole) talking during my shitty presentation. this one kid had it coming though, when the bell rang i casually sauntered over to my brother, before turning over my shoulder in class to ***** and saying, you’re f–d now and meant it too. my brother made him kneel in the snow in front of everybody out front smoking and apologize to me. nobody screws with the whites. this was back in bully times and this kid antagonized all the nerds and i was sick of defending them so i decided he needed a lesson. in short, today i will not loose my cool if someone talks over me i’ll just be like, yeah i’d like fries with that thanks.
the teacher said that to one of his students, he’s like, one day in the future you’re going to ask me a question and the answer to that question is, yes, i would like fries with that. now the guy is a top student of his ha. nice.
someone was showing off large time in their pink pants. she matched her throw and painting. i liked it a lot. matching surroundings is one of my favourite past times. THEME WEAR OMG THRILL ME! like, obviously i am going to dress like every educational cliche in the book today or fast times at ridgemont high, drew barrymore in never been kissed hahaha endless possibilities. outfit comes first, lecture, secondary. yeah yeah kids what? advertising, influence, e-commerce, huh? shh not important, look at the sparkly pink dress i wore to this event once SHHHH LISTEN TO ME!
last night was fun. hope you enjoyed being confused by it in photos. lisa made us hummus and a beautiful salad, we brought a dufflet cake. i am classy like that. invite me over and i will bring something high-tea appropes. ok here are some more pics now.
look at my nails. have to redo them before i go, don’t want kids seeing anything less than perfection. i haven’t totally prepared anything to say yet i’m just going to walk in there and be like this school prepared me for life so pay attention shitheads. nah i’ma walk in like this.
NOW look whatcha made me do i put on my leather jacket. y’all f-d now. next i’m sitting down and putting my COWBOY BOOTS UP ON THE DESK SO YOU KNOW I MEAN BUSINESS. (i couldn’t find that picture).
replete with rat tail. i sweat like mad in my sleep so that’s what’s up right now i’m not gonna tracey quaf it then i’ll have to start makeup base all over again and i’ll look like a pumpkin. orange county pumpkin. oranges and pumpkins. that’s a good fall cocktail.
my first hamburger in weeks. i ate it like a raccoon. my ex’s ex is the first one to ever take note of the interesting way i eat. i’m passionate to say the least, in every thing that i do. you should see me brush my teeth.
the sun was in my eyes and i have camel toe. i ran out of underwear. i am living like a child of divorce, my stuff is everywhere and it’s driving me crazy again.
ten minutes later this place was slammed. prior to it, the patio was the only favoured spot. supper time was upon us. we ate then drove to burnoutington.
i like a nice skunky beer when i’m hung. but now i like kronenburg more, stella skunked me right out. i don’t typically drink beer, a tidbit of which culminated in a blitzkrieg when i visited t-bay, drankin’ my white wine spritzers and shit out of the back of a car. i got in many fights picked with me, which i took on for toronto’s honour. next time i’ll punch someone and go YOU GOT G20’D BITCH don’t f- with people from toronto! (stole that joke from evan) can’t wait to see you again steffy!
i am nervous. maybe i’ll just keep drinking and smoking and smoking and drinking that will solve everything then jump out of the window even though it’s on the ground floor like the lion when the wizard spooks him.
oh this just reminded me i need to email that girl re: sleigh bells. i am taking a herd there. when i arrived to derek’s first not one of my PBC were there yet so i was han solo. i brought a bottle of jameson’s for derek because i am classy, left it in the freezer. he texted thanking me for coming but i didn’t reply i’m pissed at his tall asshole friend who looks like my old shrink, he left before me and i wanted to split a cab in the scary unfamiliar junction.
getting princessier. you would barf if you were privy to behind-the-scenes action. it is reality tv worthy. maybe we should film redecorating the rooftop, i might need to get a switch of some sort and a pointing wand. yes, i need a wand. several.
hahee not my penmanship. you shoulda seen the one i got the first week, it had a key attached to it. i texted a photo to all my friends AHHH LOOK WHAT IS GOING ONNNN!
i look like i am wearing a weird wig. ok i am appropriately freaking out i have to go prepare something now.
here’s ANOTHER music video i am in at the dakota tavern (i am more hipster than you)(omg no i am not a hipster)(haha). v briefly though, wayne gretzky’s dad is in it!
can you spot the brunette raymi? i am wearing this (humiliating video).
rocky is my little sunshine pants face. so, now you know. tucker max apparently talks to his dog in a baby voice too, unashamedly so. you need to witness my mother and i actually all of the kerouacs chillin’ with animals. it’s something.
a pre chill-out drank at the slye. i said a lot of snotty girl things shawn’s like WOW you are such a bitch ahhahaa. overlooking the menu i muttered hmm slye dogs or something, so, trash. the hankerchief set it off superbly. i was trying to make everyone as uncomfortable as possible. excuse me peasants, you disgust me.
as usual, there was no plan or organized thing, maybe swiss chalet? maybe a drink at swiss chalet? no i do not f–ing think so. so i figured out the fastest most efficient way to get everything without my brother’s delicate patience being blown and how to save/make the party that my mother and nana were both incapable of deciding on their own, happen. no one is good at planning and putting into practice in my family. last mother’s day nana almost kiboshed swiss chalet entirely or that was two years ago, can’t remember anyway something annoying always goes down so i’m on the phone here with my mom being like LOOK what is the plan if i go and grab a bunch of food and shit and nana and papa aren’t even back yet, can you, can you just please tell me what to do here AGHHH EXLPOSION!!!!!! BOOM!
i figured it all out over a half pint of labatt blue light and some ridiculous excuse for thai chicken bites. why do you think breading things makes them tastier? do you want everyone to die prematurely? stop it pubs!
bro and i used to play badminton back here til we’d lose every ball and cock (ha) then resort to sneaking off to the park or playing nicky ninedoors. or some asshole shit. we were always punk kids.
i bought her that gold bottle two christmases ago from one of those old lady stores in the mall all full of crap like this. where is the nana store? usually upstairs across from bikini village, in the shitty stores no one shops at district. i know me my malls. thanks mom.
i sent this to teacher as he was at his mother’s sighing profusely moonily over me. do you want some coffee? sigh. lauren likes coffee. AHHAHAHAhA anyway he goes HOW DO YOU KEEP GETTING HOTTER? he bought me another present too and is currently DTD (it’s a PA day) with his colleagues and then lisa is making us dinner and having us over at her patio tonight yay life!
gave mom that weird camera i won at high tea and a $50 bay card. she said she’ll get a new purse with it i said mom only fat girls get purses, that’s what they resort to. purses and shoes. those are privilege items. hmmph. plus she has so many purses already. such a waste.
talking at my old high school tomorrow. yes, as we see here clearly this is part of the recipe to online success. stupid pictures of yourself in photobooth.
i told my nana i’d get a nose job yesterday. my mom thinks i’m going to get my tits done now what? where is this shit coming from other than probably the truth? hahaha.
i bet some of my girlfriends would just love to be able to talk to their soap star character “friends”. i overheard steffy goes shit like “oh i BET you do” while watching her stories. gahahahaaha aw. that stuff is SOOOO boring to me it’s a wonder my life imitates one on the internet.
i look like a bitch i used to know, not saying who, bet she reads this. hi there if you think on a good day many years ago you looked like me in this photo and two, you are a bitch then yes, it’s true, i think we look the same here.
papa was walking around half naked he was the exact same colour as the house, my mom’s outfit and myself, we were a few nudists and mom wouldn’t let me take pictures though i have one hilarious shot.
i am pissed here and being passive aggressive. shawn’s like I DON’T WANT TO FEED THE DUCKS BLAAAAARGH YOU’RE NOT EVEN FUCKING FAMOUS BLAAAAAAH! WAITING FOR YOUR BOYFGRIEND SGFESHFGJKLDSHL! i’m all DUDE this day is NOT about you! mom has a fucking bag of bread in the fucking carsdgmnberlgjkbs bAGH!!!! go drink and wait in the pub i don’t care jesus christ etc. i won the war.
my brother was rocking big shades that i made fun of the entire time. when i wear big shades the world stops everyone has to know it and i get made fun of until i puke.
he felt bad and was screaming my name into this as i was walking up like a bitch before ignoring it hahaha fucking asshole siblings right? like, we would lay down and die for each other but irritate, instigate and nothing but torture upon the other in the interim.
this darling spot in libville will be my new holiday. don’t know the name don’t care. our server was awesome, are you here for the FC game? no, we just live here. instant respect. no tourists here.
this was on him too as teacher ordered poutine (set soccer menu only) and they were out of gravy. let me buy you a beer the guy says to make up for it. we turned that into wine. def going back. brazenhead was slammed. there was a security guard even lol. soccer hooligans ruin everything.
also do i look like i give a fuck about soccer? haha. i have never been to a game. i want to, and will someday, it just hasn’t been warm enough yet. there’s a guy who still pesters me to go with him to a game. once for becks too, it was rainy that day. sorry david beckham, i had better things to do.
she actually wore a hat like this back in the day, justin had the actress imitator in cry me a river video wear one even she wore this stupid newsies hat all the time. i know everything about pop culture.
i look like i work at the circus in 1920. right chappy have a ride on the ferris wheel mate yeah? i was wearing a cat jumpsuit looking deal on friday too it was neat. you will likely never see those pics though.
note how there is always an animal in the background of my pictures, near me, nearing me. i am the pied piper. this cat likes me more than the teacher and she’s known him for thirteen years baahahahaa. me? under 3 months. gaahahaha. its true. he said so.
i’m playing left handed here duuuudes. ambidextrous. i’ll add that to the long list of things i excel at. not that it matters anyway, playing that one metallica song open fret doesn’t matter if it’s upside down or not, it’s like playing a harp, i can do it in ma fuckin sleep.
the teacher talks about me in class to his students. he was teaching philosophy last week and they were discussing ubermensches and a student asked if he knew anyone like that and he said yes i do know one person like that.
an ubermensch refuses to subvert their individuality for the safety of the group. they use their force of will to create a new world, rather than accept the old one. a threat to the established order, they are both adored and loathed.
basically, your world sucks, i made a better one. come watch. or fuck off. whatever i don’t care. i’m not marching to the beat of your drum. wait, i don’t even march. i mosey.
i’m trying to think of other ubermenches. there are no facts, only interpretations so in every blog argument of mine, say the hangover stripper post, check and read that. i constructed my own bizarre method of measuring why it’s not ok for my man to go on a las vegas stripper bender. to even the score of that would be myself being uber illicit with men, therefore no you may not go to vegas. i mean. you may by all accounts go but the penalty is there, and it’s not a penalty either, only the balance in my universe requires restoration, if i am not enough for you and you need to feel up the body of a dancer, this sends a message. these rules aren’t facts, only interpretations according to ubermenschia.
94 little raymis blew up about it. divided opinions big time. um i don’t feel as crazy about this now as i did then, clearly i have control and jealousy issues, had rather. now i don’t care. i have no belief in men or trust. i have seen the other side and i am no longer naive. ok off for a read of this to refresh. i like that they’re filming a sequel.
