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welcome to the grid

there is no question i’m all about joie de vivre with a photo like this.

yesterday at the burroughes building they held the launch of eye weekly’s new brand enterprise, the grid. it was exactly what i expected, booze-off central. D(ay)T(ime)D(runk). saddle up partner.

strong drinks too. we stayed just over an hour, got there early and walked back in time to catch survivor.

i love this building, when i get an invite to something here i know it’s going to be a gong show. i’m trying not to be a drunk anymore so i restricted myself. no hangover today despite the drink rounds we did, we shared. do you like how my blog is a guide to being a grandma socialite now? take teeny sips.

this is us leaving, a bit cocked. went there on empty stomachs knowing dinner would be going around on trays and i’d have to tackle some servers to get a base going.

my hair was fluffy. i forgot about this party, thought it was next week (i must introduce more organization into my life) i was sitting in the bath and teacher came home i’m like i forwarded you something, it’s on may 11 next week, he’s like that is TODAY. it was 4.30, we had an hour to get ready. fluff attack was the outcome.

some servers don’t like their photo being taken at events (this isn’t one) and i think it’s cos they take these jobs on as a side-gig and don’t want people to know. some get feisty, one dude rolled his eyes at me. hey brah if anyone should be rolling eyes it should be ME at YOU. servant. now give me another piece of salmon. the drink i am holding is one of sandy’s signature concoctions, she’s the first person i recognized there. girl can make drinks like holy shit, may as well be called black out punch. delicious.

crappy picture (my fault) but hi jen! running into people you know at these things is always funny, suspiciously, why are YOU here? uh dude, same reason you are. i am cool and notable. jen and i didn’t act like this to one another though, don’t make connections with my photos and captions. not always anyway. then i bumped into lucas by sandy’s station, same thing, why the fuck are you here and why didn’t you tell me? um i thought you’d be here? yeah right lucas. no one likes to share basically and i do recall mentioning this party on twitter and some other time at 4 in the morning when i brought everyone back to teachers to drink the house while i cooked. i was soberaoke that night oh yeah i go up to sandy yesterday and say CLEANSE IS OVER. she said but didn’t you do a shot when i saw you? no. passed it off to courtney. people who are trying to be sober and needing to hide it to not make a big deal of it, there are all these goofy little tricks to trick your friends into thinking you’re drinking too but if you need to do that to people then those probably aren’t the kind of friends you want.

this guy rolled his eyes at me but then i watched him (because he became my secret enemy after that, secret to him haha) and noticed his face was moving all over the place like maybe nervous ticks or i dunno. these are the details that keep this thing alive.

teacher has a nice face, he goes too modelly though, lisa said so. it’s like i am dating two people, glasses and no glasses guy, when i catch him with them off i often double-take, who is that?

i had three seconds to invent an outfit. the loudest outfit possible. cool.

i always match my surroundings, the blue of the shirt, the yellow and the lemons. my hair soaked up all the blue light.

now that i am getting skinnier and have become a smiler it appears that my dimple is expanding. wicked bonus. had to take breaks from the people sea to scope the view.

i have copious aloof stances to shield me from people staring at me anxiety, make zero contact and keep moving. OR if you stand still in the middle of the room, it looks like you are actually doing something. merely standing there is an activity, then you see people quickly start shuffling all around you like they need to get out of your way from all that busy standing you’re doing, vip-importantly. i am serious. people are funny. herd mentality is a laugh riot.

real or fake?

real enough.

those boots make me look like i should be holding a trumpet. btw these boots are over now, i knew i would be pushing my luck in wearing them. i wore them because i thought they would help mask some of the loudness of my pants, and make me look more proportionate. my ankles get so skinny and in these tight acid wash jeans especially i look way too bell shaped, pear shaped? i basically have to be a skeleton like on survivor day 38 in order not to look hips don’t lie 24/7.

ahh my hair is growin’ and growin’. it’s almost time my girlfriends.

bitch stance. that’s sandy behind me.

that’s lucas behind me.

um these are my teeth?

thanks for the dranks. (and the roots bags plus flask, it would be cool if one of the sig cocktails was in the flask, incredibly illegal)(with a note saying BLOG THIS AND DIE).

what’s with all the fancy cars and valets along queen this stretch?

i think i became “famous” because i love being photographed and staging shots or happening upon some and giving it a try. my obsession in my own interests are is (who knows anymore) interesting.

oh what a coincidence.

these are my bb pics now.

i like how it looks like we are usher-ready. how did the rest of the night go, lucas? tyler?

every time i see her making a drank i laugh and remember stew saying oh right, the last time i had drinks at sandy’s i didn’t wake up til ten pm the next night. haha. that is some serious drinking and i know, i’ve been there. i was very depressed that night so don’t judge.

christ i look like my mom, my mom with her hair now (but better) but her younger intense shy strong face, no? the older i get the more i get checked out by older dudes like, dos equis man lookin’ mawfuckers that probably own islands and magnum speedboats. ahhhh. one day i’ll go to metro and i won’t come back ahahaa. teacher is gonna love that one.

speaking of, there he is with superdad. dude who bamboozled me in the globe&mail and changed my life. he even said his sister was asking about teacher. how soap opera-y. i told him to tell her that, in the beginning between us it was “complicated” but now we are giving this relationship thing a go, but keep it on the d/l. it’s less fucked up now but i am keeping it messy, defiantly. i am not prepared to give up my independence just yet, even though i am. it’s not complicated actually, it’s just none of your fucking business is what it is ha ha.

shulgan said my literary agent is getting all big time now i say whaaaat? why isn’t he lighting a fire under my ass then why do i have to learn to do things on my own hey? fucking call me bucci. lulz. i got bucci because of shulgan, bucci is his agent/friend too. i have plans to get that book done asap, so nevermind about it (you guys, blog readers) i feel a sign is coming my way very soon to tell me to get on it, yes i am talking cosmic-like, but more so, a wake up call. hopefully.

it’s interesting to see the same people i’ve seen for years at parties and events, i don’t remember any of their names (that was a lot of drinking) and they don’t recognize me, well they do but they can’t place it. so i’m in this vacuum of forever-awkward, do i approach them and say hi or not? i feel like a specimen sometimes. teacher scoped out all the people he said were looking at me, glad he didn’t tell me until we were on the couch. WHO? WHERE? HIM!? hahaha.

teacher had never been to something like this before. i think he was nervous. i was nervous but for other reasons, more so anxiety from heat, exhaustion, think i’m sick (or dying of cancer because i can’t stop coughing, i’m losing sleep over it) and floating in the tub daydreaming about survivor and how that was the only thing i had to do, was watch it. anyway so he’s like what should i wear? ugh i dunno you deal with that i have my own problems but then his became my problem because i realized this was our first outing together in raymiworld and people would be watching. i had to have a glass of white wine to relax. which is stupid when you’re on your way to a boozapalooza. i get anxiety, what can i say, once i get used to warm weather and um, life? i will be mellow yellow.

like this guy.

i forgot about the rooftop. we didn’t go up, no point, teacher quit smoking, it would only torture him.

how many times have you been wasted at this intersection. let me count the ways.

you can see the hospital and from this distance kensington market doesn’t seem far at all, our city isn’t very big. yet is? nevermind.

welcome to TRONo.

see anyone you recognize?

the tendress from ruby was there.

is it a good or bad thing that i know more bartenders than all other bloggers?

loved the ask zandar glowing orbs.

i better win something.

allergy attack. if i wasn’t a lazy ass SO BUSY yesterday i’d have been dropped off by my other bike (at casie’s) and biked it over to teacher’s THEN taken my other one to get the tires pumped up and THEN we’d have ridden bikes instead of cabbing it. so exhausting. that chore is a two people job.

want some candy?

i told you i was skinny yesterday. andrew put me through the ringer big time. we should have taken photos yesterday because monday’s shoot i was pms-bloated comparatively to this bone rack seen here. oh well.

during my blog speech i said i was paid thousands of dollars to get into shape the kids were like for serious! and knelt like wayne’s world (kidding)(to the kneeling, not the money) but yeah, you know how expensive a personal trainer is to begin with right? i truly am lucky.

i was worth every penny.

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