went to mod nite last nite. seems these days all u gotta do to be mod is own a dirty sweater and have big messy hair. constructed sad bastard origami from beer labels and receipts. was caught in the rain today and almost got a ticket for walking across the street on an amber light. however, i was crazily pissed off and looked like a sea hag so the cop changed his mind and decided to let me go w/o penalty.
tonite it’s dancin’ with the gurls at some meat market. these type like to get all fancy and shit. i am not in the mood to be noticed and humped and grabbed so i think i’ll sport a gramma sweater. it’s 2 dollar beer nite so i think it’s a good idea i make an appearance.
if you need me ladies, i’ll be the one propping up the end of the bar….
caught this raver girl i work with sniffing paint fumes yesterday. She decided to cut her hair in the shower and now has little hack marks on her neck. she is failing her religion class and her dad wants to put bars on the windows to keep her in or something dumb like that. everytime i speak with her i try and talk some sense, but i think it’s pointless since the advice is coming from me. it would be like the deaf leading the dumb leading the blind or whatever, i’m not up for it.
ok so the swelling has gone down and i have finally figured out how to chew properly without cracking a molar. i still talk like a retard a bit and sometimes i have this faggy little lisp. because i’m a smoker i am suppose to experience more discomfort and it’ll take longer to swell-down. the guy who did it told me the best story. he said he never checked for tightness and so one day while he was taking a piss, one ball unscrewed, his reaction was to spit it out and it landed in the urinal. wicked. ican’t make out with people or have oral sex until it is healed otherwise i’ll catch cooties.
ok so we have already seen this picture. however, i just watched the shining and i was disturbed to observe how similar i look in this picture to that of the freaky redRum boy in the shining. you be the judge.
i can’t believe i successfully carved my pumpkin without cutting off a finger or gouging the back of my hand. i baked the seeds too. they burned, of course. got my hair dyed/cut today. s’well as one of those manicure things and that hair that grows above my eyeballs – had that ripped outta my face too. they’re called eyebrows. after the lady tore off the cloths and the wax i asked her if i was bleeding.
“You no like the feeling of the pain?”
“Uhhh, not particularly on that part of my body.”
my mum insisted on the manicure and the wax torture session. not that i had a uni-brow, just cause, well, she’s a mother who likes to have hair yanked out of her body instead of shaving it off. i don’t care. the beautician lady told me that the hair of each eyebrow grows differently, like in different directions. great, i’m a freak. even when it comes to the directional growth of my eyebrow hairs.
“Your nails are so short. Do you bite them?”
No.liar
this is why I dye my hair, i do my own eyebrows and i don’t get manicures. it’s just not worth paying someone, to badmouth your beauty rituals for a couple hours. Although, the hand massage definitely felt good.
ok so i will admit, i do like how my nails look. and hair.
so i didn’t have a heart attack, it was more like, eighteen searing chest pains and 3.5 anxiety attacks. that day sorta sucked until i left to go party downtown. we started out at this totally lame party, danced like robots to crappy bon jovi tunes, polished off the keg then left for zen lounge. zen lounge wouldn’t let us in so we went to velvet underground. this chick with a rainbow afro wig and glowing devil horns got in trouble from her boyfriend for dance-humping with me. he’s all, “I turn around for one minute and yer dyking it out on the floor!?” it was great. then back to zen lounge. we were nicer the second time around so they let us in. on our way outta the place this psychotic bouncer screamed at us for walking out the wrong door, then he slammed the door. i don’t like being screamed at very much.
long story short.
i was traumatized but no, there were no heart attacks.
here’s me after playing glow in the dark mini putt tonite. i am excited because i lost horribly. then we saw 13 ghosts.
i don’t think i will be seeing scarey movies anytime soon. my little gay heart can’t take it.
tomorrow i’ll post pics of what the inside of the place looks like. there’s one of me humping some of the orange glowing boulders. You know, basic poses.
