it’s been pointed out that i make a special face for when i try on hats. like i purse my lips and tilt my head in this gay little fashion. that’s my “i’m putting on a hat” face. or when i am dancing i make this, “i am dancing” face where i scrunch up my nose and squint my eyes. it’s suppose to be sexy. hmmm.
i took a spill yesterday. i was running toward the car unawares of this huge curb-like thing on the passenger side so i end up running into it full-force, creating this magnificent faceplant into the cement curb thing, dumping my bag under the car, bashing up my left knee, left elbow (which spurted blood) and left hand. and of course i cried like a four year old. everyone laughed at me. you’d be stupid not to. it had been awhile since a blunder like that. too bad you weren’t there.
a wanky site talkin’ about how wanky raymi is. pshhhhhaw. these guys suck, all they do is look around and feature other people’s shit. hi, lets make a website but not have any creative input whatsoever. yah yah, great idea. anyhow, the negative attention intended by this site actually backfired, my inbox is having orgasms. full of positive support and all that warm fuzzyness. thanks wanks. by the way, raymitheminx.blogspot.com will be looking fancier very soon. it’ll be minxraymi.com and’ll have a messageboard, community, more features, and more writers. so if you wanna be part of my motley crue, lemme know.
well if u really like it perhaps you should snuff the fire out on the kitchen table and the flames flickering across the carpet toward the curtains.
OH fffffffffffuk!
fuckin’ eh.
from now on i’m trusting no one’s judgement over that of my own. i told ‘em to put the friggin’ candle out but do they listen to me? course not. at least it’s not my cottage.
i am not a very smart person before 1 in the afternoon. i cannot make decisions. period. so i go back to bed and sleep off some dumbness. i decided to paint my toenails buttwasted at 4 am. it looks like i dipped each toe in pink paint and let it dry. purrfect. all i seem to do these days is walk around picking my nose. i fuckin hate shopping. it involves making decisions. i walk in and the first thing i see, i buy. done. i ask the clerkperson ten questions before the first question is answered. i am a walking anxiety attack. plus i hate crowds. and now since it’s gettin’ to be christmas time there are people every fuckin’ where. this makes me want to stay inside forever.
and then we decided to get shitfaced at one of those bar type places. just my luck i sit beside this sad drunken german complaining about this, that and the other. he’s all, “you know raymi, i don’t wanna hear your somber story becuz my brother lost 100 per cent vision in his left eye…blah blahhhh blaahhhhhhhh….” so we kept buying him drink after drink until he couldn’t talk anymore. we left. and then i painted my toenails until i passed out.
oooh i am starving. i think i am in the mood for a steak. yes. a steak. nice and bloody. did the karaoke thing last nite. didn’t do so hot whilst singin’ when i’m sixty-four. ah well. i made the toilet overflow even more in the ladies room,
“perhaps if i flush it again it’ll fix itself.”
three drunk girls agreed i should do it. so i did. then water splashed everywhere. i grab a waitress and all innocently tell her i believe some idiot made the toilet overflow in the ladies room.
a bus driver screamed at me in front of like fifty people today. i was suppose to buy my ticket in advance, but i didn’t, so the dude’s all, “You are suppose to BUY this in the station! LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! Are you an IDIOT!?” lucky for him i was hungover as shit and not quite awake otherwise i’da said more than, “Unnnngh, ummm, yah uhh, well i’ve never had to buy my ticket in advance before….” well, i’m not certain i would have mouthed off. i don’t take to confrontations very well. i think they take a year or two off my life.
i decided to wear tight pants yesterday. tight jeans, rolled up (mod-esque), so u can see my white socks and these dorky little sneakers. oh rite, suspenders too. You know when u get this idea in your head that you are going to wear the coolest outfit, u plan it all out, u model it in front of the mirror over and over again and do all these dumb poses and stretches to see how you would look if you were like dancing or sitting or standing, well, anyway, i did that last nite. i just didn’t factor in all the drinks i might consume and how that might affect the tightness of the said paints. all in all, it worked out. i think. played bingo at this bar i really like, came close to winning a vibrator. this fat, asian dude beat me. fucker.
eating pizza when i’m shitfaced is very important.
the only thought in my mind is, “i will do anything to eat pizza.” a bomb could take out half the bar i was drinking in and it would phase me in the least. i turn into this big tard and all i talk about is cheese pizza. i might even get desperate. this is why it’s a good idea to hang out with someone who needs to eat when they’re smashed, just like you.
