some fucking assholes hacked my hotmail account? whatever. email suitesoleil@hotmail.com or deeperfunk@yahoo.ca if it’s urgent that or this chinese machine is fucked. meh. lots of gossip and rage and lore to tell you. first that hot sexy blythe photographer emailed ME! and i would post it but my hotmail account is having an asshole attack. um, some seXtv producer wants to meet me for drinks and talk about my bountiful wisdom and knowledge about pornos. in a week look for “what raymi’s been up to” exclusive paid photos/videos site. rock rock rock til the break of dawn.
ps more drunken slur photos to come and don’t worry, the blog will never disappear.
oh and i was linked by pornpornymcpornporn and thus ten jillion hits more and stuff and mentioned at porno sites? i hope i get invited to the porn awards in las vegas!!! anti will come with me.
add me to yer msn with suitesoleil@hotmail.com if yer a regular friend, if yer useless you can fuck off and die.
dear douglas coupland.
everything kinda sucks for me right now though i have written some proposals, made some art, talked to important people, made ultimatums and um, bought useless things and whatever over the last week. it truly kills me not to have my emails and my precious personal things. this is going to be a huge nasty legal battle if it gets any worse, my fucking book is in my hotmail account and other personal shit and this coul affect any and every person who has ever emailed me. i am not even famous and someone already wants to destroy and sabotage every fucking piece of work i have done. please help me and email: MSNPrivacy@msn.com and tell them my story or get them to help me NOW!
thanks.
i am so mad right now i want to explode from the inside and no one will help me i need a hacker and programmers and everyone to killkillkilllllllllllllllll.
people don’t come back so often if i don’t update with beaver pictures. funny. i guess my writing isn’t all that afterall. perhaps you could hang out here.
i have zero structure in my life. i am going mental because my laptop and office type shit has not been rounded up yet and last nite i slept on the third floor catwalk/closet, by myself under a rusty ole air conditioner and then i missed one of my crazy appointments this morning. i might get a prescription for fluoxitine – it covers adhd, depression, anxiety and the ten million other things that i suffer from.
i have even decided to join these group therapy things so we can take a weekly busride to the ymca and shoot guns and write in our journals about coke binges and stuff.
i’m kinda excited. they say i have to go at least 3 times a week otherwise i get kicked out.
uh oh.
maybe i will be the most popular girl in the class and they will let me stand on a table and tell stories about my exciting life.
anyhow, i am the most irritating thing ever and everyone hates me and the blond girl because we make too many cock jokes so we might as well go lay in a ditch on dupont.
moving is hard. its not even done. i feel like a prisoner. i cant even make loud noises. we talk until we are like blue and falling asleep, me and the blond girl. we call her ice cold pussy. we think we were drugged, again. well i was at least. that or i am extremely allergic to alcohol, but once n awhile. it was fucked. we are trash and we love it. we pick fights with fat old men and then wonder why all the men are irritated by us.
ok so if you live in toronto and/or wanting to have a cheap place to rest your head and you are a nice little girl then you can have my room with all of my shit in it, mostly, well a bed at least and desk and you can wear my clothes, i don’t care. anyhow for the month of feb i still have my room but ill be at my new loft, so i want to sublet the bitch and ill let you have it for like 350 dollars. email me: rawkrawk@hotmail.com and i’ll tell you all the details. backyard, newly renovated tubthing in downstairs, laundry room, parking space, central located bla bla blaaaahhh and coolhandluke is in the room next door (oh what a babe) he prefers chicks to be moving in but whatever, i want money for that month otherwise it all goes down the sewer. the room is clean and stuff, i havent been in it in over a month. im a gypsy. i have another roommate too downstairs and my ex teacher who taught me in england lives upstairs so you can get some good stories on me from him. oh and if you wanna stay in the room after feb 1 and coolhandluke likes you then it is yours, be on the lease or not. though your rent will be 460 inclusive. sucka. and even if you want the room for like half of the month, i dont care, its going to waste anyway so get someone innit!!! ask everyone you know. no crazy people please.
leave a ‘shout out’ by every post i make or ill slit my wrists.
I am in love with something all over again.
Blythe.
You are beautiful. You are beautiful because you don�t say anything. You won�t.
They love you blythe.
It makes me shake my head.
I think I am the only one who knows about you but I am wrong.
To see your clothing and your eyes and your face and your ginormous forehead.
Blythe I want to run away with you to paris.
Blythe I want to be your monster.
Blythe.
Sometimes you wear rollerskates.
Blythe i’m 19 years old and soon I will be twenty and I don�t think people will like me anymore and I wont be able to make any excuses.
i’ll be older than dust.
You are ageless, blythe.
I want to wear clothes like you but sometimes I see what you are wearing and I think that you are boring and I would look much better.
I want to be a writer, blythe. I want douglas coupland to write back to me and I want to meet the relatives of mine who were closest to jack kerouac and I want to talk to my papa about jack kerouac and everything he knows before he dies.
I would feel so guilty if he died and I never spoke to him.
Not just because of jack kerouac, though.
Blythe, are you from Japan?
I saw adaptation tonite. I was thinking about you at some points. Well, more so the book I had bought with you in it.
Are you lonely, blythe? Is there a male-blythe? I think there should be.
It must be awful lonely being a doll.
You don�t even speak.
Though you get touched and held, a lot. Unless you are one of those blythe�s that are on a stand or in a box, part of a collection of blythes all spookily standing there on a shelf � looking at me.
Some pictures I have seen of you are awful spooky.
I bet they have sex dreams about you.
I wanted to get married on a beach in Jamaica and hold a pineapple for my bouquet and then eat that pineapple later for breakfast and I would wear a white string bikini. and be all tanned. and then I�d stay for two weeks. and that would be my honeymoon. and it wouldn�t be at all stressful. but then I found out Pamela Anderson and Tommy lee did that so it had less appeal to me.
So I�ll have to do something else.
The pineapple/bouquet-thing was a good concept, though.
I don�t think Pamela Anderson is that romantic or even smart enough to think of it.
me and jamie had a email conversation. here it is. oh and let me also tell you that jamie left a fucking printout of my manuscript bookthing on the fucking airplane with my fucking name written all fucking over it.
r le minx wrote:
stop writing from your dead account it gets sent back to me u dumbass
it makes me not love you
at all!
hahaha
that is suppose to sound funny, not hurtful
Jamie wrote:
that made me cry
my life is too complicated for me to keep track of it properly
plus I’m dumb.
r le minx wrote:
i like dumb guys
Jamie wrote:
I like you
r le minx wrote:
please tell me you didn’t cry
Jamie wrote:
no I didn’t cry.
My heart just sank a little
r le minx wrote:
well stop being dumb then
u have no right to feel bad
Jamie wrote:
i’m teasing you.
it only sank until you said you were kidding…then it floated again.
It’s been floating ever since.
r le minx wrote:
ok i dont know what u are talking about now
Jamie wrote:
people rarely know what I’m talking about.
This girl recently told me, “You don’t have any contact with reality, do you?”
I said, “Why would I want THAT?”
r le minx wrote:
please tell me your next job is going to be a stand up comedian and your delivery will be just like yer emails
cuz i will sit up front with a pitcher of beer myself and slap my knee and spit over my beer belly and guffaw at every word that comes out of your fucking mouth
i am SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!
can i be yer comedian coach??
Jamie wrote:
yes!
please coach me comedy!
but I have stage freight.
I need a persona.
or a clown suit.
or a paper bag.
r le minx wrote:
how about u just hold a glass of water in yer hand and let it shake in yer hand and spill everywhere
during yer whole routine or read your emails from a notepad?
dont be nervous
u have no idea how fucking funny u are
it makes me CRAZY thinking about it!!!!!
Jamie wrote:
I’m glad that you think i’m so funny.
But I don’t know why…really.
When I read the emails I send you, I try to see what’s so funny…and well…all I can come up with is a crooked little smile. But the smile isn’t from what I wrote, it’s from thinking about you laughing. That makes me happy.
You have no idea.
When am I going to see you again?
I’ll tell you jokes and we’ll work on my routine.
r le minx wrote:
we’ll see each other soon
we are the rat pack.
the empire
you, me, anti, laura, jg
trust me i know
i hear rumors
i am obviously the leader
your nervousness will either destroy yer routine or make it better
that is why i think u should make a book
Jamie wrote:
yes…a book is better.
but I still need a coach…
A naked one.
(A whole bunch of nonsense gets edited out here…about how Raymi owes me money, and how she gonna pay me back, etc etc…yeah Raymi, pull the other one)
r le minx wrote:
please post our email conversations and feel free to contrive my responses and curt remarks
Jamie wrote:
I don’t need to contrive your responses…believe me.
i feel pretty deflated. ive been arguing with my mum and the spaniard and every other email i get is telling me off. i am neglecting some important people in my life and i’ve decided im no longer responding to piss-ant emails. so dont send me any opinions of yours if they make no sense to me.
im going to the mall with coolhandluke. i’ll write later. bye.
oh and like i have this huge following in iceland for some reason, maybe i look like someone they know or they can read english or understand some secret jokes that i dont even get, anyway, if you speak whatever the fuck language they do can u please tell me what the hell they are saying? i think they are either making super fun of me or talking about how magnificent i am. like this dude what the fuck is he SAYING and if he likes me so much why cant he write it in english so i can get full satisfaction from it?!?! i hope he is just as confused as i am. a&^$*^%$% ??????>>>>>>> UH
