dear sharpie aka little elf what drinks

i wasn’t going to put up the actual amazing email i sent out yesterday to samir because i didn’t want to further hurt you and samir’s feelings well more like i didn’t want to make you more mad but since u put it up i will too:

“at this point i dont really have much a desire to hang out with samir or sharpie it just seems like it would be very very boring”

dear everyone else me and sharpie and samir are friends so this was big news yesterday for like two hours in our circle and luckily they didn’t get as annoyed as i thought they would. i didn’t really mean it. they’re an item now and we don’t see them anymore so i was being bitter and i sent it to samir by accident cos i have disabilities.

K BYE.

lise and i are going lesbo shopping in a few hours i am looking forward to trying on a bunch of dumb dresses and doing bruce lee poses. we went to winners the other day and when i put these pants on sans dressing room (f that line) i did a series of kicks and chops and air punches and this guy saw all of it – getting busted for stupid shit is all i have to look forward to these days.

deep sigh.

for example yesterday i got busted with an opinionated email that was meant for fil that was sent to samir by mistake he’s like DID YOU SEND THIS TO ME BY MISTAKE? i’m like…..yes.

ahahaa I’M SORRY! x 1000000000000

crazy taxi prank

note to self: learn japanese.

look at more

we saw editors last nite so get ready for blurry pictures of a band i don’t know anything about other than the singer does showboat poses like that killers guy.

LOOK IT’S MY MEAT WEDDING CAKE!

look how fucking earnest i look. (insert whisper british accent) NO SIR I DON’T KNOW WHO ATE THE LAST PUDDING I SWEAR.

anyway the next time the super’s wife is vacuuming in the hall and my studies are disturbed i will go open the door, step aside, nod like i don’t speak english and swoop my arm and direct her into the room to continue vacuuming our apartment like it is not at all out of the ordinary i am losing my marbles.

i know it’s for spammers but i like it when certain people leave that comment code encryption shit in their blogger comments like 1. they are going to get ten million junk comments because the entire advertising universe reads their blog and AHA FINALLY A WAY TO PEDDLE OVER THE COUNTER KNOCK-OFF TYLENOL! and 2. i feel like i am a spy and i cracked the magical code to send my super important message when really it is like four letters of the alphabet kind of lopsided and really close-together OOOH HARD and the super important comment i leave is something along the lines of “ahaha GAY FOR REAL!!”

yeah that’s right indiana jones and tom hanks you can just FUCK OFF and MOVE OVER cos TTyyr Qqqq3%%& = I AM A CODE BREAKER TOO

i am going to cut a dress into a shirt that everyone who reads my blog except lise and fil says is unflattering so now i have a new shirt SCORE. also you can now email me at raymi@stalkraymi.com