two of the best are raymi the minx and the pants. they have nudity and alcohol abuse in common but the similarities pretty much end there. both are insanely good writers in their own right. raymi lives in toronto and is a pretty big deal in canada, as far as introverted self-published writers go. her blog can be boring at times but she writes and updates frequently, has a cool layout that is ever-changing, and keeps her finger on the pulse of weird societal phenomena. and the occasionally-excellent photography, typically of her and her friends drinking, but also abstract close-up shots of whatever she comes across in her life. the photos often display a great eye for composition and are stacked one after the other with no border between them, creating a silent, chaotic narrative. plus she’s hot and will sometimes post an arty topless pic of herself. raymi is also a pretty decent singer. part of the allure of her blog is wondering when/if she’ll ever crawl out from under her own melancholy and become the big star she half-wishes to be. it’s like rooting for that great garage band in your hometown to hit it big, but kind of hoping they don’t because then they’ll stop returning your calls and commence sucking. i suspect i like her site in part because of the reflection of my own introverted writingly-ness or whatever.

last nite part 2

fil says that i only see the worst in people and that’s why i have nothing but negative observations i said that’s because everyone is bad the parts of them i see i dunno i guess he is right but talking shit is way more interesting than bigging up some fluffhead.

so over fil’s shoulder (this was before i bit it on the stairs, after that happened i stopped with the negative observations) i see this fluffy blond hair chick her hair is trying to be straight but cos of the weather i guess it was getting wavy which made me feel superior obviously. she was bragging about being spoiled in fact she said I AM SO SPOILED ahaahahaah IT’S SO RIDICULOUS. then she went on about how she will drive to her parents house to food shop she said I GET A BAG AND I GET CHEESE BREAD MEAT FRUIT VEGETABLES… then she giggles and chuckles and says I’M GOING TO BE THE WORST WIFE YOU KNOW USELESS THE TYPE THAT DOES NOTHING AT ALL.

she’s sitting with these three dudes and they’re all laughing at everything she is saying, humor-laughing cos they all want to fuck her which was super gay cos there was another girl in their party that was totally ignored cos her table was slightly separated, one of these douches should/coulda joined her but no they were way too interested in useless fluffhead, cock-blocking the fuck out of each other.

she kind of looked like the rich blond snot from facts of life top right. KILLKILLKILL.

she was drinking ice water too, like, FOREVER. that really annoyed me. i dunno why, just did. and she’s sitting with her legs slightly parted, wearing jeans and totally ugly out of style shoes, she’s sitting in this desperately slutty way LIKE HOW I SIT but when i do it it looks natural, the way she was doing it was like she was controlling the whole table. and then she flirts with this dude who has a girlfriend but still is in his face touching his arm in shit while the girlfriend is in the bathroom and even when she comes back and he pulls her in but fluffhead is still touching him trying to get all his face-time and she didn’t even watch the hockey game.

i will offer up more observations as i remember them.

oh yeah so fluffhead leaves and no dudes leave with her cos they all blew it for each other and so they are forced to join the ignored girl and her dumpy friend who showed up and then i watched the one guy wearing his hat backwards talking while subtletly picking his nose and eating it. it was awesome.

i wasn’t even drunk and i fell down some stairs last nite during the hockey game out at a bar in front of thirty people who all laughed at me and no one asked if i was ok. the heels of my boots got hooked on the top stair of three steps and i like slow-motion hit the floor onto both knees all of my weight. i was also wearing that retardo leafs hat at the time so it was 110% embarrassing. the section it happened in consisted of jocky college dyke-types you know super girly women haters cos deep down they want to have scary rape sex with them anyway yeah, it sucked. i’ve been taking fotos of my knees i can’t tell if they are bruised or if they just always looked that fuc’ugly (v). fil didn’t see it happen either and i had to wait at the bar for our server to look at a wine price list with all the jock girls behind me snickering and describing what just happened to party members who missed it.

IF YOU WERE AT GABBY’S LAST NITE AND SAW THIS INCIDENT YOU ARE AN UGLY TWAT WITH PENIS-ENVY YOU ARE SUPER DUPER DUPER UGLY AND MANLY AND YOU HAVE ADAM’S APPLES.

really it was funny but not enough people i know were there to witness it thus making it humiliating. oh it was also extremely loud and while i was on the floor everyone went OOOOOOOOoooooooooooh like when you see someone wipe out on their bike or skateboard YES THAT BAD.

a poem by raymi


I CAN’T SLEEP
I’M WAITING FOR MY EYES TO WEEP
BECAUSE I CAN’T SLEEP
IT’S FIVE AM
I CAN’T SLOW-THINK
I WANT TO SLEEP
WHY CAN’T I SLEEP
WHERE ARE THE SHEEP TO COUNT
INTO MY BRAIN WON’T SEEP
DEAR SLEEP LETS MEET
I’LL BRING THE PILLOWS YOU BRING THE Zs

OMG. this chick has a myspace AND she added ME out of nowhere and it’s funny cos i couldn’t possibly hate her more. remember the one who was spat on her face by the blond bitch on flavour of love the flava flav show? yeah her. AHAHAHAHahahaAHAha oh internet i love you.


spit city

raymi: 03/01/2006 8:22 AM
that black chick sucks