by the way everyone, thanks for the gratuitous condolences regarding my grandma’s house to be bulldozed for some yuppie fuck’s utterly void of personality and charm mansion, i mean, it’s only been homebase in my mind since i was a baby.
also by the way, the significance of today’s title is in grade 6 i had a birthday party and i invited all the cool people and we finally started playing spin the bottle in the basement and then my dad started vacuuming the basement stairs, it ruined the mood. thanks dad.
there’s this show called three wishes that’s on at 2am on CMT yes the country music tv channel anyway i don’t know why this show is so adamant about me crying my fucking head off everytime i watch it can you be more manipulative please?! last nite it featured a cute black 20 year old guy with a massive stutter and they gave him this delay hearing aid and he spoke perfectly and he was thanking everyone and busting up crying and it made me ugly sob cry, pools of tears all over my face and shirt. this show knows what it’s doing, they set all this shit up so that they can capture on tape the most emotional moment in the history of everyone’s lives and then they get all the friends and family and people of their community to stand in a ballpark to watch this girl who can’t walk, walk for the first time and get her diploma and then it’s just a fucking watershed why don’t you hang a bunch of puppies while you’re at it three wishes!
oh and then this chick who was adopted gets to see her mom for the first time in 30 years and everyone is bawling i would have just dove off the stage into everyone and crowdsurf into oblivion crying all the way.
and then they segue to these old people who have dreams and simple wishes and this one lady wanted to ride in a racecar on the track and her sons are all blubbering and this other guy’s dream was to play piano in a jazz bar one last time and everyone’s cheering for him and his son i swear i am too sensitive for this world.
um is sausage suppose to make exploding sounds when you cook it? i guess so. we are going for sashimi tonite i can’t stop thinking about it insert fish/vagina jokes. then we are going to the drake to see in-flight safety see you there maybe?
on november 16 emm gryner is playing at the mod club and since i can’t get that star/crossed song out of my head i am going to the show with fil (obvs. dude is practically stalking me) and because i am wonderful i am having a contest where you can come with us and be on the guest list. all you have to do is email me at raymitheminx@gmail.com and tell me why you are cool guest list material or if you aren’t you can also just try begging so write and tell me who you are bringing with, and maybe we can turn this into a date/thing, send yer fotos as well and i’ll make a post with them all in it and you can track who will be there and maybe get laid if you aren’t a complete retard.
also, bono yes U2 Bono said in Q magazine he wishes he wrote one of Emm’s songs. did anyone like that ever say anything remotely decent about you? no? that’s what i thought.
Sabrina: that cyn chick is yelling at me now on erin‘s blog why do people have to act like the internets is 8th grade
me: my new motto is delete someone said bla bla cigs and booze is not a way to stay healthy and young and i DELETED it i would not hang out with someone or tolerate them to say that EVER to me in real life
Sabrina: dude, some other person randomly told me i was pathetic. but they do it on erin’s blog
me: like fuck YOU
Sabrina: dude, really
me: say you’re hanging with your mates and this random person tags along now, does the random person think it a good idea to scold you and yer pals for drinking and smoking? wait, what the fuck, who are you even to me? yer no one. yer just some pathetic ugmo who reads my blog im putting this on my blog so they know how we feel
Sabrina: you should
me: by the way everyone your opinions mean nothing i mean the nice ones mean something but when you try and tell me what to do and how to live my life you can fully fuck off which is the reason why you came to read my blog to begin with something about it appealed to you but then after awhile when they dont get the attention they crave they lose their fucking minds and turn crazy
Sabrina: people are so fucking pathetically lonely
me: anyway that cyn chick is nutzo her insults aren’t even funny
Sabrina: no shit
me: she said i bug the fucking shit out of her more like MY BEAUTY DOES
Sabrina: haha i wasn’t even mean to her, i just explained that she was acting like a fucking retard on my blog and i would prefer that she not do it because IT’S MY BLOG NOT HERS
me: when you say things like that it angers them more when you guide it the route of YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS i picture people jamming their thumbs in their eye sockets
Sabrina: god, we are like the howard stern’s of the internet
me: total bullies
Sabrina: we just do what we’re gonna do and these people cannot peel themselves away so they have to make it our problem that they are obsessed
me: exactly
Sabrina: HELLO. GET A LIFE.
me: IT WAS HER FAULT SHE WAS A TEASE SHE TURNED ME ON I COULDNT HELP BUT RAPE HER pfft
Sabrina: duh
me: brb crapping hoodia works it just empties yer bowels feels like when i was in mexico and lost 10 lbs in 4 seconds
i smacked my head on a doorframe under the stairs of alex/kane/sherri’s new place today. i was in this fun little storage space, crawling around with the dogs, and then it was all THUDSMACK and then UNNNNNNNNNNNgh. i had nothing to do and i was done making lame comments about butternut squash and karate poses and everything was unpacked for the time being and they were too polite to let me dust/clean/move furniture so i just had to entertain myself by playing dungeons&dragons with the dogs.
no one laughed aloud when the THUDSMACKBANGMORON noise happened ‘cos it sounded pretty painful but it wasn’t really, just sounded that way and i wasn’t bleeding though should have been kuz i had hit the frame pretty hard, boggin’ my noggin’ at quite a sharp angle.
i was more concerned with my recovery line which was, “i’m ok it was just wood.”
i also hugged and kissed the dogs a lot and let them eat my hair because i am part autistic and i only leaned against the freshly painted walls once and messed up the paint, ok well, i leaned the bedframe against it as well, so i guess that counts as twice.
that’s me on the right with the short-dyke hair trying to be as far away as possible from the frat-like shenanigans because i felt uncomfortable with the whole fitting-in thing. for the most part everyone was friends before our exchange program to england began and had formed cliques, you know, that schoolish crap that’s exhausting and a total waste of time when you’re [me] trying to get shitty and be above it all and have one-nite-stands and have totally awesome stories to tell at breakfast the next morning while jilly and sally are talking about dad’s credit cards and the ugly purse they got from harrod’s which cost 90 quid.
gay dogs, not lying.
this one guy got his face totally messed up by these punks in oxford and he was rushed to hospital. they smashed his face with a brick ‘cos he was a mouthy stupid rich kid in their part of town, and was “marketably attractive” before this whole brick incident occurred.
the moral of the story is – don’t mess with british punks when you are a white canadian boy who looks like eminem.
