rocky is my best friend.

that’s my grandma’s house before they added a railing to the front. the people who bought it are tearing it down to build a monster home.

my brother

my legs

nite train

Sabrina: that cyn chick is yelling at me now on erin‘s blog
why do people have to act like the internets is 8th grade

me: my new motto is delete
someone said bla bla cigs and booze is not a way to stay healthy and young
and i DELETED it
i would not hang out with someone or tolerate them to say that EVER to me in real life

Sabrina: dude, some other person randomly told me i was pathetic. but they do it on erin’s blog

me: like fuck YOU

Sabrina: dude, really

me: say you’re hanging with your mates and this random person tags along now, does the random person think it a good idea to scold you and yer pals for drinking and smoking? wait, what the fuck, who are you even to me? yer no one.
yer just some pathetic ugmo who reads my blog
im putting this on my blog
so they know how we feel

Sabrina: you should

me: by the way everyone your opinions mean nothing
i mean the nice ones mean something but when you try and tell me what to do and how to live my life you can fully fuck off
which is the reason why you came to read my blog to begin with
something about it appealed to you
but then after awhile when they dont get the attention they crave they lose their fucking minds and turn crazy

Sabrina: people are so fucking pathetically lonely

me: anyway that cyn chick is nutzo
her insults aren’t even funny

Sabrina: no shit

me: she said i bug the fucking shit out of her
more like MY BEAUTY DOES

Sabrina: haha
i wasn’t even mean to her, i just explained that she was acting like a fucking retard on my blog and i would prefer that she not do it because IT’S MY BLOG NOT HERS

me: when you say things like that it angers them more
when you guide it the route of YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS i picture people jamming their thumbs in their eye sockets

Sabrina: god, we are like the howard stern’s of the internet

me: total bullies

Sabrina: we just do what we’re gonna do and these people cannot peel themselves away so they have to make it our problem that they are obsessed

me: exactly

Sabrina: HELLO. GET A LIFE.

me: IT WAS HER FAULT SHE WAS A TEASE SHE TURNED ME ON I COULDNT HELP BUT RAPE HER
pfft

Sabrina: duh

me: brb crapping
hoodia
works
it just empties yer bowels
feels like when i was in mexico and lost 10 lbs in 4 seconds

Sabrina: wow.

me: try it

TWO YEARS AGO TODAY

i smacked my head on a doorframe under the stairs of alex/kane/sherri’s new place today. i was in this fun little storage space, crawling around with the dogs, and then it was all THUDSMACK and then UNNNNNNNNNNNgh. i had nothing to do and i was done making lame comments about butternut squash and karate poses and everything was unpacked for the time being and they were too polite to let me dust/clean/move furniture so i just had to entertain myself by playing dungeons&dragons with the dogs.

no one laughed aloud when the THUDSMACKBANGMORON noise happened ‘cos it sounded pretty painful but it wasn’t really, just sounded that way and i wasn’t bleeding though should have been kuz i had hit the frame pretty hard, boggin’ my noggin’ at quite a sharp angle.

i was more concerned with my recovery line which was, “i’m ok it was just wood.”

i also hugged and kissed the dogs a lot and let them eat my hair because i am part autistic and i only leaned against the freshly painted walls once and messed up the paint, ok well, i leaned the bedframe against it as well, so i guess that counts as twice.

that’s me on the right with the short-dyke hair trying to be as far away as possible from the frat-like shenanigans because i felt uncomfortable with the whole fitting-in thing. for the most part everyone was friends before our exchange program to england began and had formed cliques, you know, that schoolish crap that’s exhausting and a total waste of time when you’re [me] trying to get shitty and be above it all and have one-nite-stands and have totally awesome stories to tell at breakfast the next morning while jilly and sally are talking about dad’s credit cards and the ugly purse they got from harrod’s which cost 90 quid.

gay dogs, not lying.

this one guy got his face totally messed up by these punks in oxford and he was rushed to hospital. they smashed his face with a brick ‘cos he was a mouthy stupid rich kid in their part of town, and was “marketably attractive” before this whole brick incident occurred.

the moral of the story is – don’t mess with british punks when you are a white canadian boy who looks like eminem.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY

i bet if i made a poll that was DOES YOUR MOM TASTE LIKE PEE? everyone would vote yes cos they are retards but when i make a poll comparing something that DOES taste like urine to urine you all vote no. think WARM pineapple juice or no name brand pineapple juice, even.

you are all cads.

it’s funny how i said THEY are all retards instead of YOU are all retards like there is some separate set of people reading my blog from an alternate universe that’s not YOU GUYS it’s THEM GUYS THOSE GUYS THEY etc.

notice how i noticed that?

i’m pretty sad about my grandma’s house selling so quick. my dad plans to be out of there by month’s end. he’s temporarily moving in with my brother at our home in the other less fancy suburbs which should be fun for all of them. i’m going to help move some shit today and go through boxes of stuff to pitch, donate, give away – i’m assuming me, brother and dad will be crammed in my brother’s truck which seats 2.5 people. i want to get in as much grandma’s house time as possible but it’s also pretty weepy feeling to be there. there’s a ton of books up for grabs. i’ll let you guys know.

lise and i watched hard candy last nite and holy shit wow intense i am not saying anything cos fil is going to watch it tonite but wow, i am never meeting anyone off the internet ever again especially teenaged short hair girls.

fil came home WASTED from the leafs game last nite and accused me of having leftover sashimi hidden somewhere from my dinner with lise i was like dude why would i have leftover fish i completely ate the shit out of dinner there was NOTHING left over GO TO SLEEP!

i bought hoodia last nite from a health store! i am going to be a skeleton! just! you wait! and see!

i already tried a pill and i feel barfy which is good which means i don’t want to eat which means appetite suppressed ZING. though i don’t ever eat breakfast anyway so feh. i also bought those alternative clove cigarettes that look marketed for kids who like lucky charms and they are nicotine free. yay smoking is fun! lets go on a treasure hunt in the forest and find mother goose you guys! that’s what i think of when i see the box. also i can get a free zippo if i send in 35 seals from the package.

nicole richie sure is fat.

Sabrina: nice tagline
she is just falling apart

me: yes