now i am going to talk about spam. normally my gmail receives 20-70 pieces daily, fair enough. but i just noticed one minute after deleting a few spam messages it jumped to fucking 376 WHAT THE FUCK!?
i am done talking about spam now.
i caught part of this show called fanatical last nite on tv tropolis whatever that station is anyway this lady wrote fan fiction based on the characters from queer as folk and in every story she wrote the two dudes fall in love the end. she said her site gets 1000 hits daily and i yelled at the tv HAHA LADY MY SITE GETS DOUBLE THAT AND I DO HALF AS MUCH WORK AS YOU.
then i felt like a complete loser for feeling better than a housemom who writes fantasy stories about gay guys. then i felt even worse, like mean, cos she was saying how she has friends all over the world cos of her fan fict. site and i think it’s sweet that she has friends on the internet.
wow i have problems.
tomorrow there is the cliks show we will be going to. they do a cover of jt’s cry me a river and they sort of sound like no doubt when their music was honest, ska-ish good time fun, oh and the singer use to be a girl. think about that. anyway i want to get hit on by lesbians. it’s at supermarket.
by the way i have been retardedly crabby all day, well, retarded AND crabby cos i haven’t eaten anything and for some reason decided that doing this on day 1 period was cool and i could speed up time magically to when fil gets home and we can go out to eat, the minutes spent waiting for food at the table will be spent in grumpy silence until i am a real person again.
ok this is what i said to this guy and his girlfriend i forget the names of at the midtown on saturday, you can decide whether it is clever or funny or poetic or visionary probably at least 2 out of 4 of those things and i was wearing the above pictured hat for added ambiance, i like to create atmosphere, there’s so much bullshit in the world why not give people a vacation from it by wearing a knitted beret with snowflake designs?
anyway, the back room of the midtown sharpie had reserved for her joint party with angie, and, i hadn’t been there for awhile and rarely ever hung out in the back area, well only to electric drunk slide across the floor to dazzle and distract from my coasting out the back door to smoke a cigarette, so yeah i totally spaced on it turning into douchebag 2006 dance yuppie party when did that even happen? the day after i was there last? probably. HEY COOL PEOPLE ARE GONE NOW WE CAN DANCE IN DOCKERS AND UNBUTTON OUR BUTTON SHIRTS BY ONE BUTTON YES PAAAAARTY. ok so i say to this guy and his girlfriend, first i feel them out before i start playa-hatin’ the midtown maybe they frequent the place, mayhaps they work there? so i says, i says, DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN? i am told no. then i go more or less OH I AM GUESSING THIS IS THE NEW DOUCHEBAG DANCE PARTY SPOT YOU KNOW REGARDLESS OF THIS ROOM BEING RESERVED FOR A PRIVATE PARTY THESE PEOPLE INSIST ON COMING OUT ANYWAY AND DANCING ALL OVER THE PLACE, LIKE I AM NOT HAVING MY SATURDAY NITE TAKEN AWAY FROM ME I OWN THE MIDTOWN. this isn’t the funny part yet by the way.
i get some chuckles and agreement and then the guy starts telling me about some place in kensington market, some coffeeplace that all of a sudden got took over by all of toronto and it was his spot you know, sucks, and he says there’s another one like it but it’s crappier cos they have plates and are fancified or whatever and then i say YEAH FUCK THAT WHEN I GO SOMEWHERE I WANT TO BE DISRESPECTED, I WANT TO FEEL INADEQUATE AND INSECURE. that was the funny thing i said. and he laughed.
and then for the rest of the nite the shittier i got the more i tried to explain what i said to everyone else and got talked over, ignored, subject-changed ALL NITE LONG.
oh and fil was hit on by this cougar chick and i was sitting right beside him, it happens A LOT and i sit there letting her dig her grave or talk all her come-ons out of her system and THEN i put my arm around his shoulder and say I AM JUST PRETENDING TO SAY SOMETHING IN YOUR EAR SO THIS HAG GOES AWAY and then the lady’s face goes all sad and she goes away like she just wasted five minutes barking up the wrong tree.
it’s fil’s fault too though, he is really charming and nice and accomodating and gets stuck talking to people or making desperate lonelies by mistake think he is interested or they have a chance, he totally needs to be schooled on the rules cos i’m tired of whispering in his ear YOU KNOW I AM GOING TO KILL HER IN THREE SECONDS RIGHT?
it’s funny how guys act all dumb or claim to be like oh she was just talking to me like i am a big retard um, newsflash, i am a chick i KNOW what flirting and desperation looks like i use to look like that, genius, nice try.
fil and i did not go outside at all yesterday, i was suppose to go and help my dad and brother pack but i was crampy and tired and bleh, we are barely in toronto on sundays so sometimes it’s nice to just stay in toronto. anyway, cos we did not go outside we were restricted to eating what we had in the fridge. i considered ordering chinese just so i could get them to bring some cans of pop but the last time i did that the moron fucking forgot the cokes i was so beyond mad. anyway, staying in means watching tv all day and watching tv all day means a million commercials for hamburgers and other delicious garbage so i went to bed obsessing over hamburgers all nite long totally fucking sucked. why can’t there be a hamburger store downstairs instead of that useless fucking dentist everyone in this building is old and likely do not require the services of a dentist at this point in their lives so fuck off.
we are going to eat something healthy tonite though. cos i said so. but at one point this week i will crack and we will go have ultimate burgers which are burgers with cheese and bacon and a fried egg on top. i am a fat teenager crying on the couch.
i could go into more detail about hamburgers and what i thought about them last nite if you want me to. ok i pictured myself walking to the diner and getting myself a cheeseburger, this is what i had planned to do with my afternoon, let everything revolve around eating a cheeseburger and THEN i was going to get an ultimate burger to go for fil and put it in the fridge and when he got home i would be like GUESS WHAT HONEY and then show him the ultimate burger and initially he would be very pleased but then critical fil would show up and say things like well i would prefer it fresh and not have to reheat it bla bla.
i am even dissapointed in my fantasies.
stay tuned for something funny i said on saturday.
after this picture was taken i almost had a dance-off with this kid who was trying to pick us/me/whatever up but in my drunklor state i thought he was trying to fuck with me to get our seats he said we stole his seat and then i yelled in his face OH YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT I STOLE YOUR SPOT THAT WE HAVE BEEN SITTING AT SINCE 10 O’CLOCK FOR MY FRIEND’S BIRTHDAY PARTY TO WHICH WE RESERVED THIS ENTIRE WALL OF SEATS? and then he was all uh um wow you sound pretty mad but then he said well at 1:45 that’s when your reservation is up, trying to confuse me then he said he could outdance me and i said DUDE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO ARE YOU SERIOUSLY CHALLENGING ME TO A DANCEOFF?! but it didn’t happen cos fil left and a bunch of other people too way to blow it for me FRIENDS by LEAVING that was so NICE of all of you!
Hey Raymi I am in Japan right now… and I have just finished snorting a bunch of cocaine, and figured I would do the daily Raymi check. So I did… and I just wanted to let you know I think you are fuckin kewl. Im from Canada and Ive been in Japan for about 9 months. Basically your blog, asides from being entertaining, clever and genuine… has been comforting and ya. So I just wanna thank you for being fun and making me laugh and making me feel at home in such a fucked up crazy land.
today is fire alarm testing day AND i have my period, cid and i are VERY excited. he is cowering like a baby under the coffeetable while i bleed and cramp bleed and cramp FUN.
