me: hi
i am back from my grocery shopping bonanza

Phil: and movie dropping-off excursion

me: yes and i rented a movie, 7 day rental, kiss kiss bang bang
i had a dream that i was drinking pepsi with your mom, so i bought some, those half cans

Phil: hug hug crash crash
dreamslave

me: somehow advertisers made it into my dreams
yeah

Phil: so what did you buy from the carpet munching store

me: some douche downstairs wouldnt let me in i was fumbling for my keys i had all
these bags
like yeah i am THE GROCERY STORE BURGLAR
I GO GROCERY SHOPPING THEN I BREAK INTO CONDO BUILDINGS

Phil: probably thought you were a homeless baglady

me: yeah with my new hat
“why is that old lady dressed like a teenager”

Phil: that you stole from some old lady

me: and vise versa

Phil: vice versa

me: vicey versy
ungh

Phil: yes so what did the sisterhood of the unshorn apocalypse sell you from their communist store?

me: yeah i didnt go to the lesbo health store
i tried that one called organics beside queen and was like um i do not want to eat a bag of seeds for dinner
so i went to dominion instead

um here we go again?

i mean, not to be a hypocrite or anything, but, come on, really courtney?

a circle of secrets. President Bush talked with President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, rear, and Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada talked to President Michelle Bachelet of Chile, foreground, at the economic summit meeting of Asian nations in Vietnam on Sunday. this is an amazing picture. i wonder what they are saying? nice hat. pfft.

i thought of a title for my book more pretentious than the other title but i might use both of them together maybe * ****** ******: the biggest thing that never happened.

perfect.

i bought a ridiculous necklace yesterday, it’s silver bling with fake diamonds and a spinner rim and it hurts my neck to wear it cos it’s heavy. fil was pretty disgusted by it saying my spending is out of control it’s like watching an alcoholic or whatever, i didn’t even bother to make a joke out of that comparison cos i was too busy feeling the blues a la captain bringdown so this week i am not going to spend any money on myself or buy any clothes or pieces of shit necklaces that give me a neckache. it was 15.99 and i got a free pen so no i am not a lunatic i did not blow 300 on a piece of pop culture junk. i paid 15.99 for it instead. oh i also will not drink either. i had something else to say but i forget oh yeah vote for me again thanks.

i drunk texted the world saturday nite i will transcribe some of them later and i only did it cos we were watching the game at a pub and it was booooooring i also bought a bottle of champagne, shared it with fil at home whilst watching snl (LUDA!) then later on i barfed. nice. i haven’t barfed in a long time so don’t feel bad. oh yeah we fought over a burrito as well, we were drunk making everything in the fridge and once fil nuked the second burrito i was like um another burrito? which made him feel obese i dunno so then he refused to eat it and i ate some of it but was getting angry that he wouldn’t finish it then i foil wrapped it and put it in the fridge and then last nite during trailer park boys i was like I AM GOING TO NUKE IT AND PUT FRANK’S ON IT AND SHARE IT WITH FIL COS I AM A NICE GIRLFRIEND i go to the fridge and SOMEONE had already EATEN IT.

so then i told him what my burrito intentions were and i think he pretended to feel bad this is a good story.

skateboarding mannequins

blender pug

DEAR AMERICANS THIS IS HOW CANADIANS GET BAGGED MILK

+

=

and three bags fit in that bigger bag, amazing, i know

and we hold that bag up by way of this retardo looking container jug thing

typically bags purchased like this would be done so by families in the suburbs cos dirtbags in the city don’t drink that much milk or bake from scratch i mean there is no way you can drink three bags (4L) of milk before it all goes bad unless you have kids. oh but it’s super dope to drink out of that bag you can drink like half of it in three seconds when you’re starving.

The only reason I vote for you on any of these dumb awards is that you already totally don’t give a shit about any of us.

So, I vote for you.
Jon | 11.18.06 – 6:04 pm | #

FOUR YEARS AGO TODAY

i will pay someone four dollars if they come over and clean up my room, do my laundry, do my hair, tell me i’m pretty and then get me some soda.

i have these Ferrous Gluconate iron pills but i haven’t been taking them consistently enough so on the days i remember i take a handful and then everything gets all weird.

i wore a t-shirt dress yesterday. this bigass white thing i got from art system and i wore long johns and my barbarella boots and i walked in slow motion through the snow all the way to the supermarket whereupon i bought blackberries and hair-dye and greek salad.

i put lipstick all over my body at my place of employment last nite after a few beers and i got it all over the place and i tried to wipe it off but it still says cocktease and cunt and bitch on my arms and legs. i am deliberating whether or not i should post the pictures.

maybe i will.

i told my roommates to drink all the milk while i was away and they didn’t so we have two rancid bags of 2 per cent just sitting there. i think i might throw one over the backyard fence into the alley.

Let’s play strip poker and both lose!

i just nominted myself for the weblog awards but only for best canadian blog cos you guys are all missing a chromosome or two so i made it simple anyway this web award is a bigger deal than the other one i am too exhausted from being the best all the time so you go vote and track it yourselves if you give a shit if you don’t then i don’t give a shit about you either and well, get ready for 2007 to be my most bitterest year in blogging yet.