i finally made my mom a blog.

sigh.

everyone who wrote about the new iphone yesterday i’m sorry but you are all nerd loser shy gay fags, i still like you though.

i think it’s a guy-thing to write about technology well not a guy thing more like cop-out, basically you all just had a wet dream in word form and published it for the world to see, everyone knows wet dreams derive from fantasy objects right, an iphone for example, none of you have your hands on one yet, nor will you for a matter of time so don’t force your iwishiwishiwish bullshit on me, do i write about 8 foot long dildos? NO. ha i could have made a 6’3 fil reference here ok i just did.

hey lets blog about something everyone already knows about some more YAY SUPER FUN!!!1 OJ SIMPSON WHEEE ROSIE O’DONNEL DONALD TRUMP BARBARA WALTERS BRITNEY”S VAG OMG INSIGHTFUL TELL ME MORE!

i think maybe i am bitter and jealous cos i will probably never convert to apple products so i am retarded in that area and i feel left out so i am pre-shunning it though if fil gets one i can just hi-jack it.

another thing is if you go out somewhere isn’t the point of that to be NOT watching television, did you not remove yourself from home to like LIVE and enjoy life? i get it if you are at a department store and you are waiting for your old lady to try on clothes and you can watch half an episode of frasier or something but…

ok i’m being archaic.

deb’s other cat hadji’s remains are in that tin

my stomache was fucked all day yesterday and now it is better thankfully, eating a bag of chips for breakfast with jamie i’m sure didn’t help matters either, i bought some advil gel caps and then once i read the CAN CAUSE STOMACHE BLEEDING (if you drink 3 or more alcoholic beverages a day while using the product) warning all day long i had decided that my stomache was bleeding and that’s why i was in pain.

i don’t think my stomache is bleeding anymore i think it’s just a menstrual cramps, travelling stress combo and then being stressed about my stomache potentially bleeding and picturing it bleeding all day long, eh.

i haven’t been peeing blood or anything so it’s not my kidneys or a bladder thing ok enough enough sorry i solved the case it is simply stress i will let it go now.

jamie and i are reading all of my movie reviews right now because it is important.

dear everyone who told me dry food helps with animal’s teeths THANK YOU I WAS TOTALLY UNAWARE OF THIS BEFORE YOU INFORMED ME OF THAT PAINFULLY OBVIOUS FACT YOU ARE SMART AND I AM STUPID THANK YOU FOR CARING SO MUCH.

i sat beside a black whoopi goldberg looking lady with a fat dreadlock ponytail and she was reading a book called RACE i looked over her shoulder and saw the words BLACKS AND LATINOS and some other junk. i thought it was funny.

we went to jamie‘s bike shop he had to drop off a check, i changed my socks and then there was a fire outside on the sidewalk and the owner put it out, it was exciting.

question do loaded baked potato flavour pringles exist in canada?

here is my quote of the century re: my blog’s font size

i considered changing it to smaller then i thought fuck that and fuck everyone who reads my fucking blog.

except you guys, of course.

hi babe were u from how old u message back

United Kingdom

i am 23 i dont do children you are basically a foetus bye

well i aint a child i 20 years old

actually your profile says you are 17, no matter, you have the maturity level of a gnat.

y have i i was only starting convo cos i fort u was good lookin

i am out of your league

how u figure that 1

well first of all i know how to spell, i am older, wiser, more-established, i don’t wear cheesy gold necklaces and i am not a wankster. i am sure you are a nice boy though. if you want to get with ladies, change your act.

first the gold is real i a pikey fro a site i cant spell cos i didnt go school out of 10 wat would u rekon me

i dont understand what this means.

wot dont you understand

you proved my point
i am out of your league
accept it

jamie is cobbling my boots right now, the heels are coming undone and the wood is splitting. cobbling. haha. cobbler.

i am so insanely annoyed at haloscan right now is it too much to ask to be able to refresh my comments every five minutes?!???

**ok comments work again.

an oldie but a goodie.

DIGG THIS help a digg nig out!

in jamie‘s loft sound travels, doi, so last nite the sound of the cats crunching on cat food was suuuuper loud and instead of being annoyed by it i found it to be almost comforting ALBEIT it sounded like bones being gnawed at and it made me wonder why dry food is well, so dry, why can’t it be half-dry? don’t you want your cat to dine on something more appealing and less noisy? is it a method of control to let them know they are way beneath us and worthy only of eating garbage turned kibble what smells like dirty vagina?

anyway deb’s cats are the best i like them, rory is a full-on hitler cat see:

i have already started calling rory by norm i dunno he looks like a norm, he is very nice. the other one miss velvet was a bit skiddish at first but now she has come around and when i make a noise that you make to beckon a cat she comes right to me.

moving on, jamie showed me this glass last nite and asked if i had remembered it and i said uh no where is it from and he said it was from when i walked out of blu lounge to puke behind a dumpster and he kept it haha. i can’t remember if it was full of water or beer though. speaking of blu lounge i think it is closed so sorry if you went there i couldn’t blog yesterday to say it was a no-go old blogger was down which i am i have not switched to beta and i doubt i will less they force me to.

this woman has a question.