boz’s raymi junk package he won second place but didn’t want the jt cd so i sent him a bunch of junk that is more or less equivalent to a justin timberlake cd man i have used the word equivalent twice today. here is what he did to win.

if you want a bunch of junk too mail me something cool in exchange, or do something for me.

would you be interested in reading a story about a dude who lives someplace rural and is in love with the girl next door who is kind of autistic and crazy and they form a bond and his family is like dude she is fucked up and he is like i don’t care so they spend many afternoons going on adventures together through fields and forests and they go to this tree where there is a swing and they hang there a lot and then eventually this other hot girl moves to town and dude’s family is all go for her! and he is all no i hate her but then his autistic girlfriend falls out of a tree onto her head and is in a coma and everyone thinks she is going to die so then dude goes for the new girl and then one day magically the autistic girl comes out of her coma and lost some of her memory but the fall seemed to have made her less autistic somehow so she is walking to that tree cos she has some happy memories about it tucked deep into her mind but no recollection of the dude (this part coming is equivalently dramatic as the part in bridges of madison county where meryl streep has to decide over her family or clint eastwood and her hand is on the door handle of the truck and it is pounding rain) but then she spots him at the tree with the new girl and she is on the swing and it all comes FLOODING BACK to her days spent with her boyfriend drinking lemonade on blankets running through cornfields all that shit and he sees her their eyes meet bla bla and the new girl is all what’s going on and by this point they’ve been together over a year so he has feelings for her but when he sees autistic chick all those feelings go away and he runs to her but autistic chick is already beating it out of there so there’s a chase scene now and the new girl is chasing dude who is chasing autistic girl she makes it to her driveway and cuts across the street and this is the part i don’t know what next, hit by a truck? i dunno. anyway the important thing is that the autistic girl is super hot/crazy and wears amazing dresses all the time and droopy socks and old man shoes and she has long dark hair and the new chick is annoyingly blond and pale and plain and makes really bad sandwiches like winnie from big top pee wee.

went to bar mercurio to eat it is my favourite place there are only like ten things on the menu the carpaccio and cajun calamari are amazing.

took us two minutes to go through them though

i had this ridiculous cesar salad and had to use my knife to cut the romain lettuce in order to fit it in my mouth, it’s so not drenched in dressing, it’s pretty healthy and just right portion-wise so you don’t feel like a heffer. fil had gnocci dumplings.

we went here for our 2nd anniversary, everyone is very friendly and not fake friendly either, shocking how unpretentious it is. i was probably the only pretentious person.

then we went home and watched the grudge 2 and while the dialogue and storyline is sloppy and over the top it is still very scary, i spent the entire time gripping my crown/ginger in different directions i thought i would split the glass into pieces THAT SCARY!

then i went out for a smoke and witnessed part of a sorority initiation here’s video of it ooh how sacred!

sorority nerds

initiation second part

what goes around comes around

i am probably the last person to have seen this video in the world anyway i just wanted you to know that i want to BE scarlett johansson now so i am going to quit writing and be an actress i am tired of NOT being scarlett johansson so i am going to make that happen.

interview teaser

Me: You’ve caught a lot of criticism for appearing nude on your blog. Do the naysayers ever get to you?

Raymi: No, but their nagging is annoying. I’m not spread eagled or anything you know some of it is “artistic” not smutty. Do they go to erotica websites and say YOU ARE ONLY POPULAR BECAUSE YOU ARE NUDE. (It’s) pathetic. It’s only a small part of my blog The skinnier I get the more I will put up so they should get used to it or go away.

My blog is a celebration of myself. As cheesy as that is it is the truth. Should I wear a pillow case and cover up? No. Should I feel hated for (appearing nude)? no. I think it’s very telling of people’s character when they freak out about nudity in general. It’s not a big deal. If I like how I look then I take a picture of it, cause beauty and youth doesn’t last forever.

Me: What do you think it says about the people who freak out.

Raymi: I don’t want to say (they’re) jealous cause that’s a total cliché response. But it does hold a lot of bearing (But) it’s more than jealousy, I think.

Me: Like what?

Raymi: A blog can be very personal and when you read it you feel like that person is talking to you. People have told me that they feel like I am their friend cause I have a personal spin to some of my writing. I make it seem like I am talking to you privately so if I’m doing that as well as being naked the person might feel like it is too much

If a girl shows her naked body it’s cause she wants attention and some people narrow in on that and get offended like HOW DARE SHE ASK FOR ATTENTION. And if they aren’t comfortable showing their own bodies they can’t handle you doing it.

So they take it as a personal affront. I dunno people are weird. And a lot of them are anonymous too.

+++

happy valentine’s day in case you didn’t see it the first time here is a video of me dancing naked on a bed.

everytime pitt screamed something dude on the left shook his head in disappointment he also said he had season tickets and HE wasn’t rich and pitt says YOU LOOK RICH TO ME. i couldn’t decide whether the girl beside him was his sister, daughter, or girlfriend. canadian tuxedo on the other hand, straight up ruled.

me as kelly ripa

last nite at the game i was holding my furry hat in my hands waiting for pitt and fil to tinkle and these two drunk euro gino types come up to me and one says HEY I THOUGHT THAT WAS A CHIHUAHUA (um what kind of chihuahua one that is wearing a huge fur jacket?) and laughed and i laughed too instead of being a bitch and they are walking away and then i heard the other guy say HEY MAN GO GET HER PHONE NUMBER. ahahah.

that was funnier than the time fil and i were sitting outside the skydome waiting for pitt and these three kids pointed at me and screamed HEY IT’S AVRIL LAVIGNE!! and i busted up laughing and they were shocked i took it so well.

oh yeah pitt and i were on the jumbotron TWICE last nite finally after like 20 games IT HAPPENED and i had a triple chin too.

Hey Raymi

Nate

hey dad glad you could make it out!

pfft.

this dude was all hey i want to get on tv tonite and i said oh i’ll put this on my blog a ton of people will see it and he goes OH ARE YOU ON MYSPACE ahha.

that book is very sexist.

yesterday was sundin’s birthday

this morning when i got up to pee a second time and put in a tampon fil said hey didn’t you just put in a new tampon before i got in the shower i said no and then i asked if he was jealous that i had a period he said no i said yeah right i bet you would have a flow chart of your cycle and all that other garbage and he said yeah if i was a girl i would SO monitor my cycle and freak ouf if it were a day late and then that would make it even later and so on.

man i’m glad fil isn’t a girl he would be THE MOST ANNOYING GIRL i said that i would NOT be his friend and i would hate him he asked why and i forget what i said but i’m sure it was funny. i think he would be bitchy and whiny and pretentious OH i know i said he would be a big phony, funny he can get away with it when he’s a dude but if he was a girl nope sorry.

fil got me a matching diamond pin because he has to copy everything i do i swear he is like my shadow that is 6’3 and has beard i love you dinky

party

AND NOW FOR SOME VALENTINE’S DAY FANMAIL:

Raymi,

You don’t know what beauty is you inarticulate egomaniac…
Your as common as they come.

I don’t walk around all the time putting everyone around me down to build myself up,
and brag about my good qualities…
Your a blah face:)

-melissa

it’s you’re
and to what are you referring to exactly? do you want to talk about it?

love raymi

also her subject heading was her own name i don’t get it?

day in the life of a postcard i wrote and addressed during summer and finally mailed last week:

happy valentine’s day everyone!