if you ever want me to clean your kitchen do something to piss me off and i will bleach the fuck out of your oven and fantastik the shit out of your counter. i don’t do floors. cleaning solves all the world’s problems. i may still want you to die but at least all the shoes are in order and my underwear is folded and the toilet is clean.
this might be the hundredth time i have said this but when i worked at the hardware store on saturdays cleaning the bathroom was my favourite cos i could stretch it out to last an hour and i would listen to my cd walkman and tune everyone out and then you get really into being anal about soap residue and fallen out hairs and destroying the planet by using a thousand paper towels to wipe stuff clean fuck the planet i hate my life!
i can’t wait for fifty comments about cleaning obsession.
saying CD WALKMAN really dates it no? wow sorry, fossil!
oh man i LOVE ray liotta he and kiefer sutherland should have their own talk show remember this?
yesterday was fun. we ate at colossus. we had the huge booth table and we had to move to another one cos this fucking woman called and requested it cos she needed to breastfeed and then i went to the bathroom and SAW HER BREASTFEEDING IN THERE! her baby was ugly anyway and we got three bottles of wine out of the trade. i saw a very pregnant chick drinking red wine. i almost got my face taken out by the flaming saganaki no biggie. if you’re going to breastfeed in public why do you need a hidden booth that someone was celebrating their birthday at if you’re going to be bold and publicly breastfeed then shouldn’t you just do it anywhere? that woman was a fucking LIAR and only wanted the booth for her nerdy friends. i almost said something to her in the bathroom but her baby started crying. i was so mad i couldn’t even pee.
jesus camp is CRAZY i have ten thousand things to say about it but no time right now have a nice afternoon.
hailey‘s review of MD. she made me look really smart she was basically forced to cos i mailed her a free copy cos she won my copy my blog posts contest that ONLY THREE FUCKING PEOPLE bothered to do.
Marketable Depression by Lauren White
I find this book difficult to comment on, as I feel that I am playing into the stigma of those that she has written about in the last of these 79 pages. I care about what she will think, of what I think, as much as she cares what others think, of her, and her book, and the innermost thoughts she has written therein.
Marketable Depression is charming and heartbreaking, sometimes aggravating, but ultimately sad and uplifting at the same time. The book as a whole is a paradox, much like she who has written it.
I drink for my art I say, because nobody wants to read a book written by a healthy stable boring girl who wears pretty dresses and hangs out at the library
Those who follow Miss Lauren’s blog (Raymi The Minx Dot Blogspot Dot Com) will note this book is as much an insight into the circumstances that have helped shape Raymi into who she is, as it is a validation of the reader’s own experience, hardship, and depression. It is impossible not to identify with Lauren on one level or another.
After all, misery enjoys company, does it not? Regardless of how happy one may be, sadness is mankind’s ultimate common denominator.
We want time to just go away and we use booze to make that happen and what’s great is there’s always another like you at the bar and if you’re lucky that somebody is worse off and then you are allowed to feel relief because that dude has been up shit creek several times and you, well, you’ve only just now rented the boat.
There’s something brilliant about Raymi; Perhaps it’s because her blogs are so full of confidence. Even when she is speaking of experiences at her most self-conscious, one can’t help but be enthralled, entertained, and even a little intimidated.
Marketable Depression, although written in the same manner, strips Raymi away from the girl beneath, revealing her underlying thought processes, exposing Lauren at her most vulnerable.
As I neared the end, I tried unsuccessfully to fathom how it would wrap up. Reaching the last page, soaking up the final sentences, a familiar sensation rose within me. The way you feel after hearing a song with an enchanting string of notes in the last minute; After you’ve watched a movie that leaves you feeling completely satisfied. You want to rewind; You want to hit play again; You want to re-read; to experience that pleasantly full, utterly relaxed, “giant sigh” feeling again.
While Raymitheminx readers may be able to draw more on the author as a whole after reading this book, you needn’t be familiar with Raymi to pick it up and be entertained. You may even take something positive from it.
ok i am finished stalking augusten burroughs we watched running with scissors last nite. it is good annette benning is amazing. gwyneth paltrow was perfect for her role ANNOYING GOODY GOODY. jeff and craig and isabelle came over last nite craig fell asleep sitting up on the couch. fil and i are going to the burbs for dinner it’s his sister’s bday then we are coming back to maybe go to a party depending how tired we are, we also still have jesus camp to watch. tomorrow we are going to a lacrosse game my first time! jeff showed me some vids last nite of how brutal the fighting is jeez louis. one of my first boyfriends in grade eight was an avid lacrosse player maybe he made the big time and i’ll see him tomorrow? last i saw him he was working in one of those sports stores at the mall he had acne and got fatter, i felt guilty dumping him cos i thought he is so cute he will blossom into this hot babe. i was wrong.
i have this thing that has been growing on my shoulder for over two years now fil just said MAYBE IT IS A BOTFLY WORM. nice. oh another thing i am now paranoid of is getting a brain aneurysm cos this chick in magical thinking gets one waiting for an elevator and died on the spot.
i have to go now we have to get fil’s sister’s present and fil needs a car wash remind me to blog about our CAR WASH FIGHTS they happen every weekend.
oh yeah who gets all your stuff when you die your boyfriend or your parents? fil says parents but i say well the boyfriend lives with you and you spend more time with him. he said don’t worry he will hide some things that my parents never knew existed. think how rich he would get off my art. craig is stupid he said well when you die your stuff isn’t worth as much. um sorry when you die it is basically a goldmine.
me: so when he gets up and is all OMG! over it i will be extremely nonchalant and ignore him
sharpachu: boys just don’t understand
me: i know that would wake me up out of a coma
sharpachu: it’s so nuts
me: sigh all the bitches are cuckoo
sharpachu: yeah they are going crazy
hahaha jeff
++++
i have been saying oh man a lot lately and like right now for instance oh man this is the best costume for a kid ever hands down i know i don’t typically feature babies and kids on my blog ever cos i essentially think they are useless mooches but holy how funny is this picture?
hey kid the KKK is thataway –> also i got this from a denmark blog, aren’t people from denmark racist? let me know.
