these are perfect housewife dish gloves i will buy britt a pair. my brain was overwhelmed by blue banana it was like shopping inside my brain. mecca. i am bringing my niece here.
almost bought one of these for adventurehouse though would probably hang way too low in the hallway and i’d want pink and they might not like me turning this place into a hello kitty palace.
the underwear i bought received approval. butt cleave to the max. if you go to good for her to buy yourself a toy or anything really, books, so many goodies to choose from via my RAYMI15 coupon code you get a 15% discount. that post is coming up tomorrow and i cannot wait to go through the photos. monday sex toy read how nice am i for getting you off? i booked it out of there as fast as i could i was um, do my homework.
ears pierced. white gold guy. little girls were laughing at me in claire’s. i was clutching the bear and sweating profusely. melodie said aw you’re a grown up now. yes, yes i am.
and these are scattered too. one is neither more or less important than the other no matter how skinny and cute i look in most. my mom looks like a little kid eh, that’s my thumper vest. it was a hit last night. thumper deked through the urban forest posing as prey, never slayed. oh man this is gonna be one of those posts i can already tell. i hope my computer doesn’t heat up and die before i’m through.
we held it down at the keg. i snagged an optimum spot dead center of the bar. then the place filled up. we held court. i might repeat that we held court many more times so sorry in advance. that’s my new diamond necklace. i go through so many so fast. my secret spot is shoppers. yep. i think i’m going to splurge on a new swarovski hello kitty necklace. why the fuck not right? exactly.
from left to right, lois, sylvia, tracey. the placement of the po po cruiser is amusing to me. guess how many hooker jokes i made last night about those two white coats. ten.
this picture is amazing. the cougs came by convoy. how awesome. the coug council decided that it’s going to do this once a month. let that be rule. bangs gavel.
i knew my mom would take a photo of these. we have the same taste. she loves all of boom’s decor. she’s a secret martha stewart home decorating nerd. don’t get me started on being dragged to the design center or home show, marilyn dennis on round the clock even went to a taping of the show when i was really young. she made me ask a question on tv and they aired it and we have it on tape i always started crying and ran away shyly to my room when they’d put it on the vcr at home noooooooooooo! i have never been able to sit through my valedictorian speech either i fumed in the basement of cedar grove with my fingers jammed in my ears while the entire family viewed it in the tv room. some celebrities cannot stand seeing themselves on film, not saying i am a celebrity but i kind of fully get why i might make you cringe.
haitham aka coug prey oh man was he ever a hit. this one regular boom custie slut named gloria (who’s like 80?) was all about him. you’ll see pics of her later she is an awesome woman and obviously i am joking about the slut thing but she did front like she was a player back in the day. we got her ripped on a mimosa with us and then she emailed me by the time she got home and we were out man cruising. gloria you are amazing and i hope i bump into you again soon.
cheers chicks. see there’s gloria on the end there. every time we ambush boom and film cook it all the custmers become exceptionally curious, get in on it, or shyly watch me.
lois had the threesome. i said it was too early for dick. posh said it’s eleven somewhere. i laughed. then i laughed like hell and we huddled cackling together. man yesterday was so fucking fun.
i accidentally referred to steve as sideshow bob in an email exchange, well it was intentional, the accidental part was forwarding that exchange to him and probably re-mentioning it now. he was cool about it and forever signs his emails as sideshow bob. we did a lot of talk before in the past for his weekend pictures thesis or whatever that was. you can see me calm cool and collecticated (and smart) on those blast from the past vids shot at green room and i have black hair.
he also has three hours of my blythe tattoo footage. we’re filming on a barter system. every time i need him for something i will then owe him 24 hours access of filming me. raymi documentary. yah guy.
christine dropped in. lured into our coug den. she saw my mom and i interacting before she left and i was like THIS is the reality show and she goes it really fucking is, i see that. what were we even arguing about? oh i told her not to fucking tell me how to pick up men. mom ruined my game numerous times last night. those guys went PHOTO BOMB behind my head and i was like, ok fine it’s still ok to say that but pretty close to being dead.
here i am telling posh that yes i will be cooking her brunch she was a hard-sell on that one so i hit her where it hurts, wallet. if i don’t cook then you’re paying for your lunch.
i’m pissed off about something here. my stupid fucking blackberry. text me how to get my email icon back i’d say email me the instructions but then i wouldn’t be able to open the email. also hilarious if i lost my email icon last nite. here is my card, you can’t call me nor is emailing me going to help. so old school. i stopped existing. also my laptop DID overheat and died on me. i was fuming. so i took a bath.
holy shit i look like my dad. he has the vacant emo smug above it look in all his highschool photos. cool surfer stoner vibe. uh dude what, you talking to me? go easy.
i was too hyper and impatient to bother going down to the bathroom to look in the mirror to get my apron tv-ready so i got posh the perfectionist to dress me while my nails dried. it takes a village to raise a raymi.
i guess i coulda been a model eh. i photograph tall. good one mom. this one guy at astors thought we were all gold diggers. fyi these chicks are all independently wealthy but anyway as my mom and i were up at the bar and i was arguing with her about how ADD she is this guy goes uh oh the russian gold diggers are here ahahah as we were all swathed in furs and glitz. those guys were yanks and they joined our gaggle, in withdrawal of chatty social butterfly good time types.
karly tweeted that she eye-spied raymi i would have retweeted it but my stupid blackberry dilemma. it was also kind of nice to have a break from that a bit but uberly more frustrating to not be able to text back properly and 24 hours of it is actually totally having an affect on how i write here argggh. not posting the photo of us cos i look stupid in it. we’ll have a do-over.
planned photo pose by the fire so we could talk to these dudes. mission accomplished. here is how the play went down. things happen very quickly in meat market bar pick up world you have to be very impulsive before you lose your nards. i go out for a toke and see my target(s) go back to wing girl one and wing girl two, mom and lois, i say to lois ok grab some of my cards i don’t have pockets we’re taking a photo by the fire, mom, you follow us (already waiting camera-in tow) we single file two chevron spaced apart me leading, i let lois by-pass and whisper to my mom to pose with me and give lois the camera. it was seamless. immediately the men offer to take a photo of the three of us, the one you are looking at above and then the conversation flows. they all get my card and while that play is going down another one is in the making because there’s a cluster of other men i need to infiltrate. i do and thanks for the drink boys we’ll talk. ps. yes i look like a total penis in this photo.
there’s always a few latch key dudes but that’s cool cos they hover your stuff and babysit it while you get hit on by other hotter men and then they take photos of you which attracts the other men. this is all very orchestrated and very much so intentional. one duo of men in particular were watching it all go down, could not at all accept that my mom was my mom and then pretended to have seen me at some speed dating event. no you did not. most of all he was beguiled by why all of us were even there i started to explain boom and how these girls go out together all the time and then i just simply said fuck it we are here doing the exact same thing all you men are doing except we’re more organized about it. he was struck dumb and impressed. i said we’re beating you at your game and he nodded, in thorough agreement. we killed last night. then we went to jack astors and then the library bar at the royal york. next month i vote jack astors first then maybe ki.
ha ha. my mom said she watched the kardashians for the first time the other night and said if it wasn’t for these two dudes fighting on it the show is boring. we are way more interesting. but they have more money mom.
i bbm’d this to my mom’s friend there is no chance he’d think it was her she would have spelled it all wrong. it’s a quote from devil’s advocate, pacino says it to keanu in the end. this guy is asking about her recent past being sickness. as if he cares he just wants to know what the girls are up to.
ok time to beautify. we’re going to good for her in a couple hours for a sex toy workshop i have many ladies on board i feel like kristi of the babysitters club except i hated her the most cos she was a jock bossy nerd. these are my sex toy posse ladies: tara melodie britt casie alicia christine beverly me. i hope i get a good toy for the road.
+++
unsolicited advice award of the day goes to nathaniel anderson:
Hi Raymi,
The secret to your personal well being lies in becoming a nerd. The people you hang with are too cool and it is hurting you on a deep level. I can see it in your eyes.
enough dick’n around i have to get a boom apropes outfit together that will also be queen bee alpha bait. i’m sure i’ll come up with a good one. come by or send someone my way today 808 COLLEGE STREET 2PM and see me do my thing. i might be less in the kitchen today so i can gab with the girls more. i am so excited to see them i haven’t gone out their way in too long (like two weeks? i am a baby) and i like that they’re coming to my turf. my mom already broadcasted on facebook that her outfit was boots and jeans. um, right. we’re filming again today so if you want your face involved for your own selfish-promotional purposes i will gladly share the stage with you. then thundersteal it back. as always.
i also am stupendously irritated by my blackberry biting the dust. when one thing goes wrong, everything does. if i type u a message missing ‘e’ all over it please try to be a good message decoder, also, don’t make fun of how i am writing to you like a shakespearean asshole, instead of saying ME i have to say I AM. so in lieu of “come to me” or something i have to say “i am coming, to you i am”. you’re like uhhh what? exactly. i can’t type the word email or email me. (throws phone into sun).
sorry (not sorry) to brag but look how young i looked last night it’s like my blackberry had beer goggles or something. nah it’s definitely one thousand per cent having to do with the cake makeup i layered on for my audition. i had a late night the evening prior, like a normal responsible human being would the eve of something important involving being on camera. the second i make a serious commitment and pencil it in my brain along with that goes i am so getting gonged the day before february whatever day it is i have that important thing to do. another interesting phenomenon is the night before a flight it’s like your friends have to take you out to get polluted i have been hearing hilarious hangover airport stories for over a decade (i started young) and they never fail to delight me. maybe i’ll tell some now.
yesterday i was a disaster but i looked amazing. i wore two different skinny day dresses and zero underwear. i bought that red dress over summer and only ever wore it in the changing room the day i bought it and only posted one photo of it because i could only contort my body just so in the mirror. i bought that courtney love dress the same day too, which is incredible for concealing everything. melodie wore this red dress out the night of pride because her figure is perfect. ok back on track here, white, focus. i was only a disaster yesterday because i had fifteen hundred cups of coffee and i was jacked on audition adrenaline. i think i must have mentioned that i had an audition yesterday an equal amount of times. must of. did you know that i had an audition yesterday? that’s right, i did. yesterday, i had an audition. fact.
this makes me want to puke right now. those on the right are jerusalem artichokes, uh what? my only experience with artichokes are the times we nuked one and melted butter for dipping and they were totally not gigantic like these, each sliver of the artichoke was paper thin. sometimes we’d forget about the artichoke entirely as it was to be an appetizer to our main course, we’d just eat our food then discover the artichoke in the microwave (nuke it in a bowl of water). that happened twice in brooklyn and once in maine and then we stopped eating artichokes. on the left is cabbage of which i have epic gas from. that’s something my mom would say. mom am i turning into you? be honest.
kind of like how i used to do background fades of my canvases before drawing fallen celebrities over top. i should do another art show. i should do a lot of things. i am beside myself with stress at the moment doing many different things already i don’t know how i do it i really don’t thank you for asking.
i had two salads i was serious about my no more fucking around with rich gourmet bullshit. the world isn’t kind to fat girls. clem said that. clem is awesome. he told chels and i on multiple occasions how fat we were getting. it didn’t hurt my feelings at all. i wonder how fat chels is now. oh whatever she deserves it and she knows why. we’re good. see you in clem’s hot tub.
alright back to getting wasted two hours before a flight. i’m already over talking about that. i went to starbucks after my audition for a tea and a snack because i had had too much coffee and then i got my tea and a snack and then the barista gave me a free caramel mochiato because no one came to claim it (how clued out does one have to be to do a genius move like that?) so i of course took it and drank that along with my tea, that also had caffeine in it. chai tea latte which when i order i say tai chi latte and the girl said everyone says that. the audition people said for me to be myself and i took that to mean the myself that is gunned on 4 americanos and mildly-stoned. we’ll see if i get a callback. listen, to “be raymi” it often times requires a push. i am a nervous neurotic shy wreck. casie and i are total cases from what we do. it’s worse than being an actor. you have to be on and brave and confident. it’s terrible. james, my trainer, asked me today why i wanted to go to burlington on saturday instead of working out again. i need burnoutington. i gave him the diva response to piss him off, because i am a princess daddy’s girl and i made a stupid smirk face. i haven’t seen my dad in weeks. i feel like an island that floated away. oh that’s a nicer title than the one i have i’m changing it to that.
you can see the tone and my physique somewhat and my torso isn’t streamlined as it could look because of my pantyhose so i’m actually more trim than this. ok that was uber neurotic. why is uber underlined by spell check, is it not a word? it’s a foreign word yes?
campari something on the left, blazing apples on right. blazing apples is so good. i also had my favourite gin fizz drink. i told james i got drunk last nite. i down played it big time. i went in there prepared for a fight about it and so not going to take it. i think i earned this hangover thank you very much i am working like a goddamn dog and i want a fucking break but no, that can’t happen and also i self-sabotage by going out constantly on dates because i am hyper and can’t sit still. i can be alone for hours but then i get needy. i am totally a co-dependent type living as an independent, i’m going against the grain. look at the results.
that’s haitham. we’ve been buds for two years. he was a chum last nite. also he is kind of a mess like me so we relate to one another. i tried really hard to pose as a depressed loser and no one would have any of it at the bar. thanks guys. i also bumped into the owner of that pub i drank at and wrote steph’s letter at while waiting for superjew (who by the way everyone thought at the pub was not a nice seeming guy the pub owner told me last nite, who i’ll call shaft because i forget his name and he looked like shaft when i first saw him) to meet me. ok why am i talking about this again where am i.
pulled out old goldy bracelet cos my date from two nights ago said my other bracelets looked like a stack of kid’s 25 cent bracelets or something hahhaha. i said fuck you my mom bought me these. that guy was fun and hilarious and brought me a huge bottle of gin cos he works with a billion different booze brands. i am going to try and turn that piece of fish date into a piece of fi$h blogortunity. we had a lot of party events stories in common. i said can you imagine if we dated, i think we might die. guy high rolls it in champagne france on business for example.
adventurehouse neighbour’s offering. i wished i got a picture of this one beautiful adventurehouse offering i made us in an american eagle outfitters brown paper bag of various empties. i wished i had the time and patience to watch out the front window the look on the bum’s face upon discovering it. sometimes i am so generous. here you go buddy take it to the booze store to get some more for ya tell ‘em i say hey.
i am so pickled right now i am not drinking for awhile. i didn’t eat enough yesterday to justify the amount i drank like, at all. i just burped and it felt great. i feel great. great. yesterday we picked up tapes and batteries at vistek. i could have picked up this one guy on my way out if i wanted but i was with my colleague so i felt it wouldn’t have been appropriate also he totally would have ruined my game i would have been forced to be like go outside now please raymi has work to do. the dude was so hot too and a ups delivery man. i hate myself.
melodie made this excruciatingly detailed floor plan of adventurehouse and cheese boutique is going to make us a platter based on it. how cool is that. you can see my little nest at the very bottom and my big princess bed. don’t you feel like hugging me right now looking at that darling little room also i want this coloured in and back so i can frame it it’s so royal tenenbaums dvd insert and that movie is the best. check out our snakey adventure hallway. colleague bought a new camera we’re going to film a cribs episode of adventurehouse i hope lucas jumps out of a cupboard or something. maybe i’ll rig a bunch of crap to spill out of one of the closets. see, we live in a parkdale mansion. see, we are the best. today’s internet personae is called i am drunk still.
tomorrow we’re doing another cray cray boom brekfeast takeover raymi cooking show slash another coug bites the dust party PLEASE COME. my mom and all her posse are coming into town at 2pm the college street location 808 college street just east of ossington you should skip out of work or take a later longer lunch or maybe take the entire day off cos afterward we’re going out on the town where i will “not be drinking” and if you want to be a nerdy shy fly on the wall then that is totally fine as well but if you request me to make your food it’s free on top of the raymi D list that’s always extended to you at any and all boom locations. just tell someone that it exists and they’ll get 13% off their bill. you’re welcome. i bet my mom is going to look super hot and be all shy. i like how she acts all not shy and big and smart on my blog but then at my events she’s bashful and ladylike and demure but then two glasses of wine later we’re kardashianing all over the place. nightmare.
one time, i could have murdered her. i was hired to be the slutty ms. claus at the andy kim holiday party at the mod club. i invite my mom. she gets wasters. she retells this story a billion times. the bartender poured her a glass of wine to the top she thinks it’s cos she’s so hot or something (mom they do that for me all the time get over yourself) and it’s my duty to wander around and be a slutty christmas thing and at the end hand out rolled up posters of andy kim to fans (my mom kissed andy kim too there’s a photo of it. the guy is more orange than me) and so my wasted mother is bopping me on the head with a rolled up poster while i’m smiling and BEING PROFESSIONAL sending people off like a good little hostess should meanwhile my mom is bleating yaaaaaaaaaak at me like jim carrey in ace ventura pet detective on the plane to the dude sitting next to him and i’m swearing at my mother to fuck off and get lost under my breath, whisper hissing full on but she just won’t stop and her useless fucking date at the time won’t even drag her away i’m like dude get her out of here now then she pokes me in the eyeball with a pointy part of her poster megaphone and my eye instantly goes bloodshot tears up all over my face and in insurmountable pain. she stabbed my eye and now i am sooooo angry and she just bursts into violent giggle fits of laughter and practically pisses herself all in front of every single person exiting the venue. suffice it to say they never hired me back even though i still have the santa slut suit that they paid for and the holiday party happens every single year. thank you mom! anyway this entire scenario will likely be repeated tomorrow afternoon so please do come it will make this video look like a nap in the park.
doing the ladder with both feet in these little boxes like a hyper spazz assembly line and really works your core. joseph demonstrates and we all follow until we’re on the cusp of blacking out. results!
i’m super angry right now. i did this entire post this morning but the server conked out and i lost the draft. i am trying to conjure up a lightning bolt to strike into the earth i am that kind of pissed off. two days now my blog has suffered by the hands of the server’s attack. i think i must be pre-pre-menstrual or all the go go go is getting to me finally as i will snap at you no problem just give me a reason.
push up position, then you waggle your legs, it works your abs/core. some cheaters rested on their arms in true plank formation. it is difficult either way. third time doing this station i was spent.
this is called exercise, not torture. i never forget that douglas coupland quote from generation x about how in the future when people rediscover the planet after armageddon they’ll come upon gym equipment and assume we were a species obsessed with torture.
i was also wicked at this. if i’m doing something and it gets tough i just breath calmly and stretch flex whatever i need to evenly distribute the weight throughout my body so that i’m not using mostly my arms or legs.
i thought that headband wrapped around my wrist would look cool in photos. also it might wipe some sweat off. more than anything it just constricted my circulation.
i hated this one the most and cheated the most on it but during my last go i tried really hard and pushed myself to impress whoever might be looking. zero people were looking.
i had a funny segue about how i tucker max’d a bunch of hippies on satruday night i can’t remember how i worked it in before but anyway here is a little unrelated anecdote you can feast your brain on when you’re done staring at my ass.
even if you placed just one behind someone’s heel. that’s all it takes. then it just wobbles back and forth like a hammock. why it’s so funny to me i dunno.
work it girls and other gay motivational things. if you want to try this RE-Energizer Boot Camp there is on offer 5-6 slots open to fill, first come first serve. *Recommended that participants live in or relatively convenient location to the Junction though not necessary.
there is a distinction between Re-Energizer Boot Camp and Starter Packages. you do boot camp a couple times to see how you like it then you can transition into your starter package.
Program customization is too long to list and it’s tailored to each individual. everyone is different and reacts differently to exercise, building, some have more fat, or less to lose, you get the idea.
all classes are designed to stay within age appropriate heart rate (HR) zones so it’s recommended that participants wear monitors so they can follow their performance and maintain throughout the session. i wear one.
tarek is giving me another gym bag for my niece. he has more bags for me too can’t wait can’t wait.
ok i’m going to do my food journal now. i’ve missed a few days.
The Motion Room
3431 Dundas St. W. Suite 200
647 351 8671
Email: info@themotionroom.ca
yesterday at dinner we pretended it was my birthday. my 28th birthday. i kept trying to say 22nd birthday. got a couple shots out of it. it pre-bummed me out. i have over two months to go and i’m hanging on by a thread. i must make it to 28 i will not be a 27 club casualty.
this is going to be fun. lucas tweeted “cos we were tired of cleaning up after people” haha who is this “we” lucas? as if you ever clean.
here are some photos of the last time i will ever eat pasta and have photographic evidence of it.
haha look how judgy i am. their pasta is the best and that kid went to tuscany and came back to show everyone what he learned. romagna mia sponsors george brown students too, the over flow of students in whatever course get to cook in the kitchen here. soon romagna mia will be renovating and changing everything.
i tried not to eat too much of this, this, whatever it was. every time i say something ignorant regarding food on my blog the pleasure and satisfaction of frustrated foodie geeks the city over glaring into their monitors is endless.
it’s tarek. i love him. he is to the point, doesn’t take any shit, looks out for me, gives great nurturing supportive advice. totally has my back. major role model for me.
sort of blogged these before sort of didn’t. mel and i were looking through my photos not too long ago and came across this folder and she said they were awesome pictures why didn’t i blog them all? after looking through your personal archives and time passes you forget things. so if you’ve seen scraps of these before or i repeat myself, sorry.
this is date two with guy i picked up at my gym who i think hates me now but whatever he is pretty crotchety and i totally am not the right kind of person to tolerate his anal moodiness so match from hell pretty much and i think i’m too fat for him i blame all my date failures on my body and not at all on my winning personality disorder.
my hair looks totally stupid. this summer heat wave and my hair cut ruined my life. working in a bar under third world working conditions (no a/c) also fucked it all up too.
mental hair. that jumper exploded apart too many times in the car but luckily gym guy had a huge safety pin for some happy coincidence to pin it together again. i bought that at urban outfitters.
this photo is shit i know for fact there was a better one. can’t be bothered to dig it up. i don’t look like this anymore anyway so who even cares. social irrelevance.
we copied one of these drinks when we went to his cottage the following weekend. or whenever we went. i just found some uber adorable photos of myself from then i never posted.
if you want to date me you can bid on me for charity on february 10 at the hideout and if we fall in love maybe we can be each other’s valentine’s date or i can bring you to a singles mixer which essentially should be called, none of are good enough for the other so lets get slammered.
Below are the details of the event.
Date & Time: February 10, 2011. Doors are at 8PM.
Location: The Hideout, 484 Queen Street West, Toronto, ON M5V 2B4
Cost: $5 at the door
Bachelor/Bachelorette Cost: Bidding will begin at $25.00 – there will be
10 bachelors and 10 bachelorettes – we will auctioning off 5 men and 5
women at 9:30pm and then the awesome cover band we have lined up will play
a set and the second group will be auctioned off at 11pm. * All of our
amazing people being auctioned off first will have to be there by 9pm
sharp & the rest by 10pm. We will figure out who goes where once all
participants are confirmed.
*Please note that the band and venue costs are being covered by The
Hideout so door cost will go directly to Heart & Stroke. *
Fun details:
– Highest male & female bidders from the audience will each receive a Nella Bella handbag (f)/duffle bag(m) as well
as a $100 bar tab from Sleeman’s.
-The 20 couples will be given the option to either spend the evening
together or discuss plans for a date on a different day.
this will be great to see which ones of us get the highest bid or the lowest. i’m sure there will be some crushed and/or inflated egos. to save face maybe casie and i can pair up for a combo-date. i think we both put out. depending. naturally.
here i am right now and here is an awkwardly embarrassing clip of what i thought was a brilliant performance at the time.
now feast your ears on this one.
i have an audition tomorrow i am nervous and excited about. i am trying to go zen about it and not over-prepare. that’s enough jinxing. also on thursday i am doing another BOOM party this time it’s a MEET THE COUGARS jamboree so please do come out. if i cook for you then you don’t have to pay. what fun and how generous, right? 808 COLLEGE STREET 2PM.
i cried today during my assessment. the muscle weight i have is fucking with me large. i know i look better and the weight has been redistributed but it’s just frustrating living the life i live eating and drinking the way i do and i’m just about to sign on for another festival of chefs. something’s gotta change. i have to take on cuisine like a wine tasting, chew don’t swallow. i’ll have a big wad of napkins full of mush. then i’ll compost it.
in a week or two is my meltdown phase where the fat comes off more and the sleek tone is revealed. i have reduced my body fat over 2%. that’s a lot apparently, for women. i still cried though.
went to an after hours saturday night. it was quite the experience i wrote about it for sofi’s blog. she said the following nice things
P.S. I am not licking your ass or sucking up or anything, but I think you are a bit of a genius. I will buy your book.
THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH THIS STORY IS LIKE JACK KEROUAC MEETS JACQUELINE SUSANN MEETS LAUREN MOTHERFUCKING WHITE.
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa amazing! What form of alternative universe do you live, because this funtime party is NOT the Toronto I am familiar with. This is so awesome. Thank you for doing this.
clearly i am a professional dater so obviously you want to pay the heart and stroke foundation to court me.
i got blamed for this. TWICE. saturday night i got blamed for all sorts of things by older dowdier chicks it really pissed me off. that paper hadn’t even touched my hand, it’s pbc’s poem he was going to read (that he still read) then it was on fire and guess who was the one to pour beer on it to save the pub? that’s right, ME. i was like oh you scotsmen are so cheap and drunks you’d rather the bar burn down around you then waste some of your pint. then one woman to me says ok watch the candle, in a nice way, ok fine yeah i got that arleady but then this other woman down the table says can i have that paper? as i am lining it up for this photo here and i say, why is that? knowing exactly fucking why she’s requesting it. she goes, SO IT DOESN’T SET ON FIRE AGAIN in total teacher voice. me, calmly (fuming) reply yes sure just let me take this picture of it first. both times me trying to get a shot of it and i get lectured twice before i can even take the fucking picture. i take the picture and toss the paper down the table to/at her. melodie says to her i think she’s fine. i have never been treated like an inept child so much before in my life before being blond. i swear.
