Stoner Mountains a la chef Lauren White trash

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what can i say? i learn from the best. ewww check the scary yolk one on the right. gnarly! righteous!

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components. when we go to the family day gathering tour of Shasha‘s factory like somethin’ out of willy wonka and the chocolate factory, except, adventurehouse on the loose at a bread factory eating fresh bread right out of the oven YOU CAN JOIN US PLEASE DO! melodie is stoked, she’s a naturopath so this bio buds healthy sciencey stuff, (oh right she’s becoming a scientist or something too) my colleague tells me there is nothing like fresh baked goods and our take will be loads of loaves of bread and ginger snaps but most importantly, spelt bread. melodie is gaga for it. i am now too since having easy’s rotisserie chicken on spelt twice over. the point of all that crap is this meal in these wonderful photos will get better once i get my hands on nicer bread.

Family Day 2011 OPEN HOUSE something great to do with your kids cos they’re gonna be home from school anyway HOW GREAT FOR YOU FANTASTIC HAHAHA BURN.

Monday, February 21st, 2011
10 am – 1 pm

To register, email info@shashabread.com
Subject title: Family Day registration

i also assure you that shasha, the guy himself, is a trip. he may as well be as eccentric as willy wonka. i wonder if he owns those movies.

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adorable. these are delicious too. can you imagine eating only shasha stuff for 2 weeks? we were considering raymi doing that but i think i would die of boredom. plus, hello carbs.

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i am sneaking in scotch bonnet when we go and that ali’s roti sauce that could kill a canary instantly. i think the scotch bonnet will suffice on second thought.

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and i am tucker maxing all over the place with that bullhorn. read that story i linked to.

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so i’ll do a high end version of this and guess what? i am seriously going to start cooking again. do you know how much i have gleaned from my cuisinery barfly touring of toronto? remind me to make a list of every resto i’ve been to. i made a list of every burnoutington restaurant i dined and feasted at all the while being a twig stoner hoovering my way through restaurant chain after greasy fast food joint, you name it. i even broke my stringent three year mcdonald’s ban.

ooh in this one i’m having pasta after a year of no pasta, at bar mercurio. love that place. i discovered it. me. taking it back.

and there i am again. eating. again.

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the butter i was just trying to melt for our toast. next time will be spelt toast. my dad loved these stoner mountains. they taste pretty much exactly like how they look. gloriously awful and bland but amazing and retarded. ketchup for dipping sauce too. epic trash. i halted on the squeeze tube pesto (haha) didn’t want to fuck with the fantastically mellow method of this shit pile.

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have you guessed the ingredients yet? 4 eggs. half a rotisserie chicken from mary lou’s that i tore apart like a beast it was a great moment. i ate some of the skin but included every fatty gross part of the chicken i could and skin cos i wanted the fat to flavour this concoction.

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my stoner mountain. dad’s was way bigger, and i let him have the leftovers. normally i am a greedier but i had no appetite yesterday at all. post funeral insanity kept myself lubed on oyster bay and steady ganj intake. i battled an anxiety attack all morning long. oh right i forgot the rest of the ingredients, mary lou’s taters. they’re seasoned but you really can’t taste a thing. i added pepper and salt and a bit of garlic salt. still pretty bland. the cheese helped but i wasn’t feeling flavour. i think i’m sick. well i have the sad sick, no appetite, i feel hollow and gaunt. it took me over an hour to spoon force feed myself apple sauce and my coffee craving has been minimized. still drinking it though cos it’s the only thing i can manage. bit of grapefruit perrier.

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my workout lifted my spirits but i was a pathetic catastrophy waiting to happen so james moved me to cardio. i collapsed during push-ups, so weak. i ran on the treadmill at 7 clicks listening to this

once it gets to the heavy part i turn into the bad cop in terminator 2 chasing the car. sometimes i run so fucking fast i think i am a genuine athlete. the faster you run you can almost outrun your problems and the adrenaline hike is just like raaaaaaaaaawr you can bury your insanity in it pounding out a never ending flee. music is very helpful in working out and putting out the world. i also ran just as hard to she walks on me, hole. of course i did. assholes.

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at the pub.

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sadness and nerves look like this.

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my cousin and i. he is a writer like me. kerouac side. why do we have the same fat puffy face ugh drinking goes to our faces in this family.

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i liked this and kismet happenings when you’re in a certain headspace or way. i would absolutely LOVE to exist on a floating orchard. read half of this. basically a woman is in love with her house that her grandpa made. then i actually looked at her, she’s got crazy black hair and some grey in it and a rumply cute apple boomer generation face. actually, not too different from my own in this photo:

i love little babushkas. i am getting married as soon and as fast as i fucking can so i can fulfill my lifelong wearing an apron forever fantasy. rick asked me a million times if i was sure i wasn’t italian, his nickname now is the croat. haahaha. anyway where was i? oh who cares i think a spinster from the annex made that book and i find that hilarious and i don’t know why.

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yikes guy. sad outfit. tired face. gwyneth paltrow and i wore black one pieces on the same day.

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and also on that same day we were margot tennenbaum, both went to a funeral. man, when she got up on that piano in those amazing heels at the grammys i was so scared nervous for her. i loved the grammys by the way. it was the perfect thing to experience and watch. so many perfectionist performances i was spellbound.

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my workout tools. said sad bastard little hospital foodie (LOLZ!) apple sauce cup. gahahahahahahamhaj hi i’m a foodie. hospital foodie to be exact.

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sick sad skinny. james said the word sick even and i almost barfed. toxic weekend.

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yeah yeah blah blah ok see you later.