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desert storm trooper chic. that’s i.

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added a mascot sticker to my board. i cannot wait to rip it all over liberty this year fuh-ckin’ right meow.

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following a casual morning coffee stroll of course.

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already tired of this want to build a new one but j date is digging it. glasses too.

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just slap on a confused look in your pinky spicoli pants and no one will notice you line jumping, sneaking in, whatever.

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wait what? what do you mean we’re not supposed to be back here, no, hold on, i’m in charge here you can speak to me i was told it was ok by, by what’s his name, the promoter. heheh this conversation might actually take place later on tonight.

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new wallet. another poketo. why i have slacked on replacing for so long is atrocious i am ashamed i was using that piece of plastic for so long all raggedy and ew. anyway pumped about this one.

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barely even looked at it before buying, saw it my last visit.

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i so want these from studio brilliantine someone buy them for me for my birthday so i don’t have to i have to curb my frivolous spending. they’re salt and pepper shakers. adorable. so raymi. it’s ot crazy hoarding if you enable it.

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time for some new converse’ no. skate season rapidly approaching. you know what my colleague says? no money no funny. hahaha.

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bit cut off oh well. better luck next time blog slave.

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if it was warmer out i’d have taken way more photos in this alley.

and i have a peg leg.

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stella my new little friend. stella all ola.

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mid day surprise wizz.

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dad look!

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darius said this was liz taylor eyebrow. i didn’t know she died until i got to mitzi’s and he said so. he was shocked. yeah i so totally do live in a bubble. yikes i look a bit tired here.

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a fantastically blazingly brilliant force field of ignorant bliss bubble come join me sometime. today’s dinner menu: ginger beer, jerk sauce brown rice tofu peppers onions medley and lots of water. concert outfit, concert. guess which one.

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i loved this man’s print and the sun coming in he represented i dunno, comfort and style and a classicness. she who busted this photo was the teacher’s top piece of fish round maker always favouriting him. crass a bit maybe yeah maybe so.

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are these too much? ha what am i asking/thinking never too much. i’m going to be simple and sparse with them, creative. i’ll use the royal princess crowns up first obviously and a subtle base colour.

stepford wife in training headquarters signing off, roger, over and out.

ps. lucas just came in and said the best thing ever. band name t-shirt something for sure.

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Hey guys, Easter Bunny HQ (EBHQ) sent HR (that would be me) on by to show y’all how it’s done easter egg hunt styles, you best not disappoint me now. i am SO wearing bunny ears for easter weekend and maybe a playboy costume. do ya hear that casie?

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naw just kidding this is what i’m wearing tonight to a concert i am practicing outfits i don’t think anybody else will be dressed like this, but maybe they will after looking at my blog and going out to dinner to a vegan restaurant or something.

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i have some j date baiting to get up to if you catch what i’m layin’ down.

ok taking it from the top now, lets start at last night.

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new socks.

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oh look me dancing after my workout last week chez TMR. sorry couldn’t help sneaking these in just like my colleague couldn’t help sneak taking these photos.

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thanks to being good now i have dropped two pant sizes. a pair of pants i bought and never looked really good in finally, i look good in them. better than when i bought them.

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PBC meeting last night (parkdale boys club) this will be your greeting mint in our white trash las vegas roadhouse themed boutique hotel room, two chicken flats, two choices of dipping sauce, wet nap, booyah!

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we’ve begun on the water diet. gonna flush out EVERYTHING.

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i am terrible at drinking water. i bought new nail stickers today from that weird bullworths place in parkdale.

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blog slave was with me.

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we entertained tracey at the bar. i said lets just get drunk here and see what happens. that we did. good and early too. i am riding out my 27th year excuses excuses yeah yeah going with it. darius was back from st lucia.

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he and his steve buscemi eyes. if you don’t like these pics just text me brotha.

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one of our best sayings of the PBC is you can’t fingerbang your problems away. really truly, doesn’t everything end in fingerbanging? it shouldn’t though. damnit i was trying to become a lovable G rated hero for kids now. i will i totally will phase out the seediness beginning april first. APRIL FOOLS DAY CUNTS! just kidding. no i mean it but anyway you do not have to FB her and i don’t mean facebook, kay? what i mean is kids adore and hero worship me so that’s lucrative, i dress like a big kid, live like one and will only continue to more so in the future. get ready for the shift. get ready to speed snore. think nickelodeon.

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gratuitous nail post. i love them long i am trying so hard. but i ripped some out. when i get stressed i take it out on my nails. flipping through a magazine in the bath that i couldn’t read cos it was in french i noticed from all the ads that long nails is a plus it amps up your pretty another level. so go for it champs. i’m trying very hard.

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i am a legitimate hand model now you know so i guess i better keep these tidy.

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last night al said i would be way prettier if i talked about myself less. whatever that guy motormouths about hisself at mach ten 85% of our club meetings. we call it al-a-wisdom, al-a-vision, other ones i can’t remember maybe darius will put them in the comments. the best is when he gives me life advice and stuff about my blog and what i have like we sit there arguing the same side of the fence every time then get aggressive and zing the hell out of each other.

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then we did something we never did before we took it to the beac, our sloppy mobilized. well i guess they do this all the time without me actually one time when darius dropped something off he had his friend with him from england or some place and i was like hey can i come maybe (even though i was in sloth cave girl tan mode) and he’s like no, no girls allowed. fine bye.

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my hair was kind of retarded. shrek ears princess leia (cos my hair was wet and we had to make a move on to mitzi’s) slayed an ewok look.

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the carpaccio. very very nice.

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i bought lipstick the same shade as my lips how super fucking pointless was that?

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so blurry. about par for the course at this point.

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it’s snowing forever. actually i came up with a new song yesterday it goes to the tune of you don’t make friends with salad: THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS SUMMER, THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS SUH-MUR.

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i look like a super tired stephanie tanner that’s because i am. i also killed something from planet of the apes.

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it’s called bush meat in the book the darling, when they killed the gorillas during that whole civil war liberian thing. that’s a great book. if they could do a movie of rule of the bone, also by russell banks, i would just simply die. it’s on my top 5 fave books list. i put the bone from the cover in one of my paintings that anita bought for radmad. they gave me a framed photo of it for my birthday. here it is unfinished.

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here it is unfinished. there are always bottles in my paintings.

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bottle/candle from the green room drawn while there waiting for someone and my old boot.

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bottom left corner. i painted over hat tom cruise one haha.

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blog slave helped me sort out my outfit when i showed these together at first it was like hmmm nah it’s just TOO joe fresh no, smart set? something shitty. which works like a charm on me cos i am such a penis head. everybody knows that penis plus penis (outfit) equals amazing.

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weird unflattering kind of super flattering no? and also, to whom do these nylons belong? they’re mega spanxy, i dig i dig. prob casie’s. she always leaves an article behind after the slaughter.

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it is my dream to recreate the girls in the do you wanna franz ferdinand music video in beige nylon bra and panties and hosiery like this, hot mess hair oh yep and mega black smokey eyes, kate moss.

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yenta glasses.

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the title of my easter egg outfit is, you’re fucked now son.

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face is pretty plain, i’m going to shower and make my hair PERFECT just wait.

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blog slave said it’s not fair that i can be so cute. the guys are defenseless. don’t let me get too big for my eddie bauer ivy league con artist britches now.

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oh but tabitha is coming by isn’t she such a gas oh yes we will definitely have some afternoon drinks on the terrace, maybe some croquet.

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getting into character. oh hush this is the real me.

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to distract from the siberian bullshit outside.

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what a dork.

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and i finally got a new wallet. another poketo.

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i’ll wear my sharon stoner beige boots. i’d put my diamond hair trinket in but it fell off the clip. boo.

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no idea how but i’ve picked up a new adorable bad nervous habit of licking the side corner of my mouth when i am thinking or talking or i don’t know, what is it that i do exactly? when i work out too.

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grabbed some of these why not blog slave? i bought them a week agoish nicked back from the teacher’s fridge. it’s my birthday. it’s true.

ok bye now kids i have minx work to do.

by the way next friday APRIL 1 at salvador darling is another adventurehouse party. this time i will be there. it will be a post birthday party for me as my birthday is the day before. it will be lighting it up and maybe wearing some kind of pink explosion of cupcake cutiepie madness i think.

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oh look raymi’s doing something, lets watch.

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i just remembered the black keys are playing the amphitheatre july 8 i NEED vip for that. make it happen i don’t care how and i’ll make it worth your while. gosh i’m so cute. i liked my face yesterday i got it to be dewy for once and not scraggily caked on makeup spackled as is typical and we already know how i felt about my hair

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good turn out. i love liberty village people. went to metro the other day and it took ten minutes longer to figure out what i wanted cos i was distracted by all the perfect pretty chic robots was also spotted by a piece of fish i never met.

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april’s amazing nails.

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bonkers for them. i need a new minxing (yes already) for my birthday next week.

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we had work to do. the white wine and the cheese is partially responsible for this morning’s teeny wig out. that cheese was so delicious though. rosemary cheddar. i ate 15 million cubes.

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i was fabulous of course.

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whipping your camera out helps cancel out half the social decorum disgraces one is wont to do and if you dress like sideshow bob that too. oh i get it now, she’s creative, of course. that makes sense look now she is standing on her head. neat.

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i discredit myself way too much i learned the other night. yeah yeah that’s going to stop right now. i’m proud guy. this website is climbing in rank, what i say matters (on google, for business) whether it’s meaningful meaning (it isn’t) to you, what i feel matters most in the world fiscally is business, therefore, what i say matters. now hit a gong or chime a bell or something while we move on to the next picture and verbose caption. no discredits here move along.

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ok i lied i had a tiny bowl of pasta, it didn’t aid in my anxiety attack though, if anything helped manage it. i went out empty stomached. some of us might have been totally blotto by the time we left. not me though i was just dizzy from spinning and clumsy. i’m always clumsy though. a day is not a day unless i walk into something or step on a catapult and launch my groceries into the sky. whoopsiecakes.

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the best food was picked over before we got there. post work hunger crowd’ll do that yep.

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my precious brazenheady weady yes yes i love it i want to hug you i do.

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i am going to wake up at the crack of dawn to get a spot on that patio first sunny warm enough comfortably for patio sitting. nah actually that day will take place in bellwoods with melodie.

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the green is the rosemary i loved it so much i brought some to go in a napkin stuffed in a roadie cup.

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aw that little girl. here comes the baby fever.

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i have zero attention span for this. are people actually listening here? or are they thinking about drinking wine and ensuing taught bodied acrobatics?

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in my fantasy recreation of this moment the girl with the camera is chanting FREEBIRD!

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giv’er.

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that part’s neat. very circusy.

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ok ok ok raymbo’s up.

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teeheheh check the nervous look over there. full-ay warranted.

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make that two nervous looks.

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yup this is happening. nothing like wine rushing to your head and blood at the same time. kids don’t try that at home because you aren’t old enough to drink yet. burn.

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very graceful. i just kind of swung there a bit til i got the courage to do a flip and positioned my hip bones properly. i am gymnasticy, acrobatic and athletic. there really was not a need to worry about what dumb moves i was doing. just saying.

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i have a practical method of learning things (like my lesson) and it’s do it until i hurt something.

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i haven’t been taught how to twirl spin yet so i’m just getting my sea legs on then in walks some guy to say stuff to me that i forget i was too hyper and excited about this trapeze don’t interrupt girls when they are playing unicorns we can’t hear anything you are saying it’s like guys and videogames and sports highlights (of the game you just watched WHYYYY do you need to now watch what you just watched again you drive us NUTS! we know it’s cos you want to stretch out ignoring us as long as you can but jesus can’t you just turn the channel already we will continue ignoring you too promise).

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then i pretended not to be greedy for three seconds and had a chat, of which i am still none too sure. slam dunk networking at its finest. i think i mainly only remember conversations when i am the main focal point.

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and now i am trying to sneak the bar up higher before anybody notices so i can get pictures of my chin ups which would be the part when i got busted.

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i was happy to have the help no thanks i do not want that thing coming down with me gripping it and my face like the power of grayskull slamming into the floor.

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more aid and check my pits. i’m sure everyone enjoyed making fun of that part about me.

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here would be my chin up lecture probably i like how our feet demonstrate our respective body languages here. me playing agreeable liar, authority figure and sly back up from right to left.

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thanks to being a bean stalk that guy went up to the topmost rung, proud to say and in my head here i am deciding whether or not i am capable of doing what i am about to do in front of 100 people.

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ol sweaty. that’s my exhale face. always remember to breathe lest you black out while exercising.

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i felt like i looked stupid here slooowly spinning but i am actually firing my core muscles and actually working out but to people standing around smugly judging lazily with their shy wine cups it just looks like a starfish in pain. that’s how your face is supposed to look when you rock your core. hi shannon you looked great last night.

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i am actually turning 15.

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bummed i didn’t take any good ones or any period of april doing this. my arms were too busy shaking from nerves and adrenaline and the hunger weakness remedied with wine.

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then a lesson in spinning. you stand there and move your torso slightly to the left or right whichever way you want to spin, winding yourself up like a clock and then you reverse wind let go like a top and off you go lift your feet off the floor.

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you hook the ends in your thumbs so they don’t whip people on the head. which happened to me just after this photo was taken which is irony for sure.

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wow my hair was getting out of hand. i eventually fixed it. ally behind me is so funny. give me your pictures before no one cares about this anymore. you have less than 24 hours. you too owen GOD.

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see how my torso is twisted. that’s me winding.

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ready now?

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if you spot somewhere on the wall like in ballet pirouettes you can make yourself go faster. you get really dizzy though. my eyes were skitting back and forth megatime when i was done. trippy. more danger. my favourite.

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give me a break look at those lights it was cooking beneath them. also i have the ladylike persperation of john candy, who sweated in the shower even and we all know how he ended up but do i look anything like that? i can sweat from just sitting still in a blizzard.

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whatever kick it out. ok gang this is pretty much exactly how you should do an event as a visitor from another planet like me. eat and drink everything in sight, test out every single thing there is to play with, only talk to people who are connected and can wash your hand and you theirs, then leave with as many swag bags as possible. me? three. great socks reebok thank you.

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then i finally fixed my hair and april and i took a wizz. actually no that’s not true i didn’t take my first pee til later on at my next venue. thanks to pantyhose you can forget you haven’t broken the seal yet.

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sure i’ll stay at home washing dishes cooking dinner forever for you no problem.

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we had a nice little girl chat party in here with a couple other chicks (hey!!)

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and then guess how arrogant i got about THIS particular hair stacking. oh nevermind don’t bother save your time and breath. i’m a simple woman.

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he doesn’t stand a chance, utterly defenseless, just give up now and save yourself the effort.

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april did your flower make it home too?

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then i went here to go pee. first i walked into that tvo social media party at the ossington and was immediately like, no. i wanted to actually be there for it but for reasons i cannot explain (that i do not want to explain) i left. first not before i was busted by corey mintz in the back room though. awesome. he introduced me as lauren. course he did. i know what that guy’s all about. nice to see you broseph. i saw rannie in the crowd too, he was the first face i recognized and that’s how i knew off the bat what was going on in there. i left with some earphones i don’t think were meant to be free sorry tvo. i also recently discovered that red flag and corey are cousins, second third or something. awesome my world just gets smaller.

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what’s your type is one of my favourite guy questions to ask. one guy said without any hesitation, LIBRARIAN. i meant like, princess blond, hipster, red hair, you know actual concrete details not a vague huge margin of a woman type. which in actuality can say a lot about a type. he wants a hot brainy whore essentially is what that means by librarian.

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this is why you can’t have me. look at that. there’s not a butterfly net big enough can scoop me up forever and pin me to your wall. only if that butterfly net is held by a dowry and someone ready to make little raymis in two years and all the yuppie white picket fence trappings of perfection that go along with. deal?

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then i’ll readya all the bedtime stories you like.

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one quarter pound desperation with cheese coming right uppppp.

HUMP DAY DONE DID.

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this is my party statue hairdo from last night at the motion room happy i made it there safe and sound this snowy morning. oh how broken doll i am. i had a mini panic attack when i awoke at 6 in the morning, my brain starts whirring. i should probably stop writing about any sort of mental issue i presently experience as this is where mother shines and sends me loooooooong emails about the same stupid crap that just pisses me off even more. oh your doctor thinks you’re manic maybe that means you’re manic? you know why i’m manic? cos i’m a busy career person i don’t know one person who isn’t a nose to the grindstone perfectionist-striving mental case, sorry or actually i don’t want to know anyone who isn’t a grower right now. it would be nice to not have anxiety and it would also be nice not to have to be in a rat race too. i’ll relax when i’m dead ok.

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we’re going backward in photos if that’s ok with you. here i am as a cab party statue isn’t that nice. my driver was v oldschool prayer beads and took me on a five dollars out of my way route and got away with it cos of the snow. fine. i don’t think he much approved of my tights either. praying while driving is kind of dangerous though, are you praying for a safe voyage? i know how those prayers could be answered STOP PRAYING WHILE DRIVING! i think i should start a raymitaxiblog blog because i have like, at least two new stories daily starring my money wasting chariot chauffeurs and then i’ll make a blog dedicated to starbucks baristas and their varying styles of service, conversation, nervousness levels interacting with yours truly. like there’s one sbucks i hit up after my workouts and i can’t for the life of me figure out how this one nervous slow old lady has this job because she’s borderline incapable of everything but oh so darling and lovable and i discovered the reason why they keep her around today. i love watching her take one entire minute to punch in my order and i love how it’s a different price every time and how i say my order in a very dyslexic way that screws her up even more she stares at the screen like a little owl through her coke bottle prescription glasses and punches in the choices very cautiously and says EVERYTHING out loud that she is skimming from the screen. it’s the best. one day if starbucks sponsors me i would be more than happy to churn out a fucking novel a month about my every visit to starbucks and people would read it too. while in starbucks, such is the machine and addiction of that scene. as long as i could just put it to press without having to edit it myself just here you go it’s gold all good! see, needs its own blog.

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thank god for these specs. i am SO totally a business creative person and not a crust punk. well i might be that too.

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went to a fitness party with april last night. i did chin ups on the cirque du soleil bar things. i waited out the head of reebok (karen cain of sports world april says, good one) because she said i couldn’t do them for safety reasons (drinking wine for one hahaha oh that’s right i did a gymnastic flip on it too lucky i didn’t land on my head) which i totally understood why but i was going to do it anyway. come on i am in a room of competitive fitness chicks i so have to throw down, lots of people staring nervously and lights and cameras you better believe i’m showing off my motion room chin up abilities on the highest rung too so it was obvious i was going for it every time i stepped near. took half an hour of distraction and twirling until i did one and then blammo.

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instant fitness girl cluster surrounding your hero admiring my giraffe chinup hold, here come the cameras and the socialites ahhhh soak it all in baby. f influencer, i’m a moment maker. have a party and pay me to come make a moment, a happening. create atmosphere. i will never ever live down saying that to sex tv when i was 19. all my friends diiied in the next room. maybe if i had a handler back then or a publicist i’d be hanna flippin’ montana by now. that’d be pretty cool.

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shit looked fun.

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and sexy.

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gimmicky? maybe. maybe not. i’m going to try a class. essentially it’s dancing and trapeze twirling. good for core and arms.

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i was in love with myself all over the place in my get-up. spring uniform is being built. now that i am aging i have to start dressing like an adult just a little bit more and phase out some of the juvenile. don’t worry i’ll keep it raymbo brightstyles for sure don’t get scared now.

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my hair was very churning butter/prairie girl i liked it and a big sloppy blob of black roots arrogantly was the prominent hair sculpture focus sticking out of my head. i was really proud of it in every professional photo taken of me, especially beside type A socialitey chicks. i don’t know why i feel like i need a boy scout badge of honour for being slob chic. i actually said to one in a fantastic kelly ripa sequin number HEY SOCIALITE come here now for a picture. owen get me those shots!

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these highwaisters do a bit of a bulkier bell shape number on me in photos and flatten my ass. you know what seeing as i will be wearing short shorts for the majority of summer i’m going to invest in some nice ones. or maybe some genius will sponsor my ass. literally. think of how much blog coverage that’ll be. my prairie hair went with my cameo gold chain pearl necklace and my docs matched my purse and my belt matched the blue of my shirt and i felt a little bit like a skin. suspenders would have done the trick. and a face tattoo. ew. more like TATTEW.

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ok fascinating there you go be right back with more stupid quips.

the back will have all my blogging award badges printed on it so when i am mingling and networking i won’t have to self-deprecate and awkwardly try and sell myself i’ll just press it in to their palm and go look, see told you so now lets do lunch.

still bunch more cuckoo bananers on tumblr okay i am going to treat myself to a bath now.

can’t be arsed for the moment to slam two blog rocks together so if you want your raymbo filler you’ll have to head over to RAYMITHEMINX.TUMBLR and maybe something magical will happen to you over there. i have tidying and loose ends to putter around and attend to. might get heavyweight tmr pics up a bit later here though.

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i spilled a bunch of indian on myself last night. of course i did.

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i also scooped yogurt cucumber (raita?) on a piece of papadum that was essentially a funnel half pipe in my mouth and it all poured out like vomit onto my plate. teacher was like you are the grossest cutest thing i have ever seen. yeah i’ll take that and won’t contest. it was kind of like the part in aliens when the guy gets ripped in half and barfs up a bunch of white stuff. cousin alex and i as tweens were eating a stack of pancakes we spent HOURS unsupervised making one saturday morning. we fed them to the dog because we were so sicked out because we had just spent a long ass time making pancake batter that looked precisely like robot faux human dude’s vom. i have a photo of it in my facebook tagged as my brother but i don’t feel like barfing right now oh and speaking of i extracted a ton of pus out of my finger yesterday from a shard of glass or some kind of sliver i left in there a week ago and it got infected and very painful. i performed the operation all by myself with rubbing alcohol and two different kinds of tweezers sitting hunched over my medical table while lucas paced around dry heaving. i finished it off with a snow white band aid. i have NEVER been so successful and brave like this before i am basically a surgeon now so if you are in a gang and can’t go to a hospital for your gun shot injury you can come by tickletrunk grove and i will perform the bullet removal for you because i am the wild west (more like roadhouse) and i calls it likes i sees it jesus you see what happens when i sit down to typing here i just keep going. see you on my tumblr

toodle-oo!

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PS look out parkdale boys club!

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so, i saw my crazy doctor today.

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and i put out there every single bad thing i’ve been up to the past two months. err, i sugar coated. lots. well, thankfully i am graced with selective memory these days so it wasn’t exactly lying per se because i eventually just let it all spill out.

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hahaha bit intense. bit of awesome. i just got to the party i was nervous. i know, cute, cute. note how my scarf (crystal’s scarf that has served me well all through winter) meshes into my cougar shirt with ease such is the magic trickling effortlessly from the fall in to style person that i am. that sentence was super duper challenging man. how much trouble do i look like?

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a friend of my brother‘s who found me coincidentally on pof (who didn’t know i was shawn’s sister until he saw a pic i put up of the two of us a week ago) said to me, “and guys should know better than to care about a woman like you. and when I say care I mean love. And when I say love I mean that forever type of way I hear about.” i don’t know if i like this realization but, it was certainly enlightening and kind of feeds the inner beast/justifies more selfish behaviours.

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new friends yay. i am a people eater. MORE. right meow.

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smokers smoking over there.

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he’s her me. teacher said. i repeated that aloud a few times mesmerized by it, proud and slightly defiant about it. i dunno. new people perspectives on the person that i am or that they encounter come at me around the clock due to said people eating.

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more like devouring.

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this is a portrait of a wild animal.

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she told teacher he had to get his head on straight once he went through the raymi wash (raymi ringer?) he thought he’d never see me again.

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can you fault him though you can’t. look at that. the more damaged and hyper-active messy i am the more attractive i become. this coinciding with my pledge to take the fuckin’ world might also be a recipe for disaster.

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this was a fun night. i think we were sort of helping each other change the music, here, SIT on my lap that will totally help. my zune (yes i have a stupid shitty zune that actually comes in handy but it’s a time warp of tunage listener beware the crabbiness that will ensue from dealing with it) was conking out and no song was good enough. i was definitely a tune hog which was one of my bender hangover guilt clouds don’t you hate that? i told you i get greedy.

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on a scale of 1-smother this weekend was pretty up there but it’s fine, the weather was crap i wanted to recharge and it was fun seeing how undone squirrely we could get. there were peak moments of retard oh let me tell you, english became non-existant at some points and i think i came up with a billion mental case nicknames for myself and teacher. the latest top contender of course being sprinkle seahorse cuddlemuffin pants. yeah. i know. i will spare you the rest.

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this is what a dickhead looks like. this was when i was under assault by nerd trolls thank you for the hangover activity allow me to go psycho rage on you happy saturday.

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mmm hmm lookin good white. that’s lisa’s shirt i kind of demanded to borrow it. i wore it to brazenhead which is like guy with blond trophy girlfriend afternoon weekend pints ground zero. my secret plan. it’s safe to say i was the hottest coolest one but there was an even hotter mess (disaster crime scene plane crash) than i up at the bar oh we loved her. stories, scenarios, sizing-up was done for every single person in sight not one was spared when we ran out of people we went back to the bubble. no the townhouse. it will get the proper nickname eventually. i think there was a guy there on a date that i had dated before that we nicknamed sandy. my (possible?) date with him also took place at the brazenhead so it makes sense (if it was the same guy afterall). daters are habitual people in nature very creatures of habit-like myself included i always like to revisit the scenes of my various crimes which i guess is partly why i can never remember one date from the last.

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ok so THIS hot mess with suicide nips and slobby somber zombie arrogant gait traipsing up to the bathroom a few times, like, the only reason to even leave the house at all during a hangover is to get some validation fumes off good looking liberty village hipster yuppielitists otherwise you cannot tolerate the same person for 72 hours. we were in a marathon of tolerance. he also needed to see how i have somehow magically cranked it up a notch to an 11 by seeing other dudes check me out i’m sorry but that’s part of the deal. anyway we made it out alive and it was ALSO awesome that a chick from pof was at the bar that favourites teacher all the time. she’s got some years on me (tons) and i think she might stop favouriting him now.

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we’ll see though.

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i have to leave artifacts behind to ensure my return also i like my trinkets and like to look at them. sometimes my room is a moratorium to a crazy girl who is never there.

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took awhile to get out. i was diggin’ on my blond ramones hair.

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my message to le troll and all haters really. the thing is, i’m told, is people who fly through here or have been watching my life for years think that i don’t know what i am doing? but who does really and why that should concern anyone who is not directly involved in my life then who fucking cares? shut up.

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just let me be a dick ok i was born to be a dick, so i’m a dick. with a heart of gold.

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woah yeah baby this part’s the encore.

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i told my psychiatrist that the next two years oh you better believe it i will be insane i have placed and feel so much pressure on myself gah nightmare. he asked me if i was manic. i said do i seem manic? he’s like yeah well you always seem a bit up. i go hmmm well you never talk and i just keep going because i love to hear myself talk and you don’t interject and it makes me nervous and then i answer my own questions out loud. the meat of the epiphany of today’s session was that i am a rationalizer. i’ll do stupid or dangerous shit and justify the bad parts in some shape or form. dude has finally caught on to my bullshittery i suppose.

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he said my lifestyle and job all feed into it too. yeah DUH 60 watt lightbulb realization guy. that i can always find an excuse to drink and party cos i’m like ok i will only special occasion drink from now on and he’s like pffft after i was like pffft hahaa uh but the risk area for me for him was my serial dating. le gasp!

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i told him i had to do it. ok we’ll get back to that part but about my i dunno, mania? my tom hanks in BIG kid lifestyle. i said i live like a baby in fear of responsibility so i invented a life more or less so i could avoid exactly that and everyone i know enables me or protects me from i dunno, being independent cos they see me for the lazy sloth lovable tortured urchin that i am like i am clearly suffering from the hands of my own shit and the only one who is going to bail me out is me and like that is ever going to happen anytime soon (here is hoping) well it will it has to, which is why the next two years of my life bubble of stress is psyching me out but also exciting me to get healthier and be healthier, live healthier.

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i said to the crazy doctor ok well imagine one morning you didn’t have to come here anymore, gesturing to the room, you didn’t have to come to work anymore and you got to go cosmic bowling instead, AND, someone will drive you there and also what’s more is people will email you all day long, holding up my blackberry, telling you you’re awesome and THEN you go to a beautiful young and rich people party where everything is free and you might be paid to attend it plus go home with swag and whoever you wanted to plow from that party. he looked at me. i looked at him. there was nothing else to say, or point to saying it. he pretty much agreed one might be cuckoo bananas from that a little bit.

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now do that for like a year.

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anyway. i said yeah i might be a little manic but it’s functioning mania and borderline bipolar. i couldn’t afford to fall off the rails at all anyway so no worries and no thank you i don’t want to try out whatever new medication is out there. i’ll take a chill pill script though thank you. still get social anxiety sometimes and panic attacks here and again. LIFE you so extreme!

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then i put on fat pants because i felt fat.

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this bathroom is awesome cos you can continue a conversation or watch the flat screen in the livingtoom it’s luxuriously hilarious.

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this psycho cat likes me.

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i think it was sleeping with its eyes open.

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aw little butterball bunny wunny wunny.

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there’s another one too. i forget their names. they change. kabooki? so totally not even how you spell it right. meh. I’M BUSY!

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this was a great snl repeat that i’ve never seen.

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thanks for telling me my thong was sticking out.

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so pale. nice bod though. thanks motion room! heavy weight pics from last week coming soon.

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pants getting loose and dumpy.

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turning into sleep zombie.

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why do evil cats gravitate to me?

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muahhaha.

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blog slave doing my duvet hahah.

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you can actually see me smirking in the antique mirror’s reflection HAHAHA. how close am i to being tucker max and having dudes come over purely to do my laundry. and cook.

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good job kid. who is actually older than me. but still.

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and i looked like a garbage dump. please take a picture for my blog thank you.

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you know what they say, pretty is as pretty does.

xoxox

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i just burped into the room and made it into a word and that word was “agoobluh” and it derives from the original language of my people, my kind, my kin. forming burp words is one of our many skills. i am the last of my kind though, i’m a fairy that fell to earth by way of asteroid and now i am trapped here until i gather up enough energy to travel back to my planet of pink sprinkles as far as the eye can see. i should write stories for little raymis eh?

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moving on now, good afternoon comrades. today we are going to discuss the importance of muses historically. please remove your shirts. just kidding. no seriously though, behind every great man there has always been a great woman steering his shit ship or playing beard for him. men need muses in order to create and dominate and be the whatever it is that they are out in the world pushing boulders up hills and scaling cliffs they have to know that sally ann is waiting at home barefoot staring beatifically into her bath water.

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see the super moon? it’s the big floating light orb same size as the light on the lamp post.

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lamb and chevre burger from the beaver. delicious. i was an animal yesterday (everyday) i took it down and finished it off before a proper photo could be took. we watched a date go down too the entire time. ha poor girl. it depressed us.

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i braided one half of my head then the food came and i forgot about it. teacher says i am fulfilling his lost in translation fantasy. that’s ok cos he’s fulfilling my royal tennenbaum’s street fantasy.

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this is one small quadrant of a quesadilla that i also inhaled like a velociraptor. i don’t even remember what it was. that date was stressing us out a little his knee was speed shaking a mile a minute and me looking like i came from warsaw the one moment and french braveheart the next wasn’t helping anyone. it’s safe to say that he would come out of this date telling friends that she appeared larger than her photos. her face was so cute and beautiful and smiling. she demanded to pay. it got sadder. he threw the money into her purse. i tried to not watch but teacher was fixated. we were a better them. i felt really bad and stress ate myself back to human form again. us minxes require a lot of fuel because we output so much, we deplete and crash.

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oh god yes. tonight we are going to my favourite cozy raymi strung out sunday baby sucky pants bar. haha can you try to guess which one that is of all the ones? i thought EVERY bar was my sucky pants oh no tomorrow is monday bars.

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the short walk over to the gladstoner (closed for private function) my eyes exploded from allergens it was hell. so hell. i know exactly what people are going to say about teacher and myself orbiting one another and who he similar looking to. i requested contact lenses. he is mulling over lasik. either way need less intense frames. i am my mother. hi mom look what you made!

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i am saying nothing. no wait i am bossing him around on the internet already. it’s great.

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nevermind as if i can shut up lets go to Kraków. look basic polish vocab necessary “FOR SURVIVAL” what survival? nice. where is brosz7kowsi when you need him? Dzien dobry! my face is a mess here because of said allergies and whirlwind cyclone week. fuck i can’t wait to make it out of 27 alive. JINX LE MINX.

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i love the euro caj vibe and some servers will get around to waiting on you when they get around to it eventually, maybe. we under-tipped. i’m sorry but i have minimal standards here and they involve walking by me every five minutes to give me something or ask me about what i next want.

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the view out this window is kind of hilarious, it’s behind a plaza rife with fast food and we can’t scale the fence we have to walk all the way completely around ugh it’s frustrating. also i can see my friend’s work building so i took a photo and texted it to him during the beginnings of friday’s bohemia extravaganza dude i am partying here looking at your showroom and attached is the sketchiest mid day unattractive photo ever the party is heeere view shot of saddest parking lot ever. i will make a point to send him photos on the regular now just to be a shithead. my cowlick has grown out a lot eh. my hair felt long yesterday.

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cute weirdo muppet.

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overall retarded hair day. write off yesterday it was a great day. by the time you can see how long it took to actually leave the house. yes. town house. jack pot. hahahahaha. HAhah. ok sorry.

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belushi on the way.

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took me forever to get my act in gear i was a bit of a post st. patrick’s day quicksand escapee. i wore my tracey shirt (hi mom) and then everyone called me tracey all night long. it was funny.

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these aren’t even good pictures, so cheesy.

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after work out friday morning ooh now i feel like doing weights. happy birthday james!!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5543572522/in/photostream/

there’s your girl. can’t wait to see whatever crap is on my mystery camera box.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5543572396/in/photostream/

that shirt is so hard to get in and out of it’s scary.

good day.