http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehNxmDus-Oo

making a new feature here it’s me as traceytheminx (in all my mom’s tracey shirts hahaha).

ENJOY!!

we all turn into our moms eventually i’m just nipping it in the bud now.

some photos may or may not load just reclick/refresh a billion times they’ll work eventually.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610550608/in/photostream/

ready for some meet the griswalds level sh*t?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610550554/in/photostream

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610550674/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609971813/in/photostream/

quite the time was had yesterday. the decorations went over well and added a special mania ingredient and overall effect. soundtrack to dysfunction by. my brother loved it. i kinda spoiled the surprise the night before by texting a few pics (NOT of the whole scene) and he said it made him wake up earlier yesterday for it. my dad said 8.30am! i made christmas for my brother. it’s true. the balloons were like a rainbow beachball christmas tree plant.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610550804/in/photostream/

nana and papa came. my dad talked to ed (papa) about ol jackie kerouac and why the various family spellings of it, kerouac vs. kirouac. blah bla etc snore. these ears matched this tracey shirt perfectly. nana was like do you want to brush your hair before your boyfriend gets here i turned over my shoulder as i walked away and said NO THANK YOU NANA! i was fuming. i didn’t have time to brush my bloody hair because i was too busy planning decorating preparing everything right up until my brother came then i got gunned with him on champagne. i remembered britt on thanksgiving looked over her shoulder to me as she beat potatoes (she is mental) that i should’ve seen her up until we arrived she looked like a beast ghoul psychopath? how did you describe it again? anyway i felt like a nightmare mother yesterday.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609971889/in/photostream/

mom was the perfect letting off steam vessel. she thinks she had me here but we both know she could feel my strength and therefore surrendered defeat. i gave her maybe a quarter of what i could’ve given. try me, i’m a greek olympiad now. what the hell is that movie called, 300? i am him. i never saw the movie just the spoof of it and the ad.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609971919/in/photostream/

hailey’s new obsession is the beatles now i bet my mom is super thrilled about that ahahaha. i look like blond micheal jackson which is what i was going for.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610550940/in/photostream/

alison got shawn this wicked airplane and we then reverted further into childhood. this is teacher launching it over the neighbour’s fence. bet that felt great.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551036/in/photostream/

nana tried to take off to catch the masters during shawn’s opening of presents and i publicly snitched on her so she sat on my lap. hey nana your FIRST BORN GRANDCHILD is THIRTY TODAY and he’s opening PRESENTS on this once in a lifetime milestone occasion where are you going, to watch golf?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972095/in/photostream/

i took her down. her little photo publicity stunt backfired on her pretty much immediately.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972141/in/photostream/

i have no idea what is going on here. something is funny.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551218/in/photostream/

mom if we don’t like our arms why must you insist on highlighting them with these stupid oprah shirts that cut off at the shoulders???

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551268/in/photostream/

this is not as it looks, i got out of her pity jump and tackled her.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972339/in/photostream/

look how easy i make it look. my strength is total and awesome.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551426/in/photostream/

love it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551464/in/photostream/

the brown ears kept their chocolate scent all day but i notice dissipated by night’s end. i made shawn take them home. hailey is in the cool stage now, attitude. shawn’s like she hurt my feelings by going “pfft” to me in the car! hahahahah. awwww. payback sucks eh. she does it to me too, so funny.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551510/in/photostream/

aaaaaamazing! requires no explanation right?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972521/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551624/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551668/in/photostream/

soldiers down by 5.30 awesome. start’em early end ‘em early.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972643/in/photostream/

speed reader too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972723/in/photostream/

guess who did it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972767/in/photostream/

i was like no, put those shitty candles away to my dad clutching these modest pink (pink? really dad?) candles at the party store, we are getting proper fancy candles.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551902/in/photostream/

my family is also similar to trailer park boys with a sprinkling of, alf?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972937/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552056/in/photostream/

oh rocky awwwww. my little prince. he loooves me. he’s my little shadow.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552104/in/photostream/

don’t all concubines have a little runt animal that follows them around everyplace they go? yes i think so. rocky came up to me alone in bed saturday morning and we played cat in the cave and he wanted to burrow even further deeper in there with me. i’ve heard differing opinions of cats and memories but i think this guy does remember me when i’m not around or come back again. he’s ten now. my mom still call’s him “she” which is unfixable.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973105/in/photostream/

look my posture is amazing now, i am so much more graceful and less lurchy. thanks tmr.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552212/in/photostream/

do we really need to revisit this one again mom?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973195/in/photostream/

mary lynn and hailey had teacher crushes. well not so much hailey. i love mary lynn. blond up there at the top i am strangling in one photo. i have a photo of holding her when she was a baby. i’ll find it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552328/in/photostream/

look how my right foot looks. retarded black leather potato. i styled this photo of hailey.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552368/in/photostream/

i told linda to harass me if i try and eat any of these. to humiliate me. she said her and shawn go fatty like chocolate? cos they’re both trying to lose weight. after awhile you just tell them to go fuck themselves and eat one anyway. linda’s son harassed me the most though and it worked.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552418/in/photostream/

haha look at my face that’s crazy eye a la steve zissou aka i am going to put you through a wall face. i could feel her frailty so i didn’t go mental i just let her chicken bone arms wobble mine up in the air a little. see how i am gripping her wrist and see how important this is to me, like, this is my news of the day on my blog? hahaa. see how teacher is looking away and how much we give a shit? i told him this was only just scraping the family dysfunction surface you haven’t met the rest of the kerouacs yet. he said multiple people told him “good luck” on sunday. HA HA. ah. meh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973405/in/photostream/

oh yeah we’re also part animal house. very belushi. yah yah! vive le belushi.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552524/in/photostream/

it was such a beautiful day much like today why the hell am i indoors!?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973543/in/photostream/

blog hits go down when the weather gets warm and go up again come summer so you have to try harder. i know i kill everyone in traffic but if mine dips minimally then i know for sure others must be screwed. you know what else goes down? MY MOM!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973587/in/photostream/

kay mom this is humiliating for the both of us. i think i get more phone calls, emails, mentions about reality shows whenever i feature my family. i have no idea why that is.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552680/in/photostream/

meanwhile normal shit be happenin’.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973791/in/photostream/

a example of why mary lynn is awesome. so clever. she littered their house with print outs of rongo starr apparently the worst artist rendering of ringo on the internet. see how beatlemania infects other families though? mary lynn is bob’s daughter, my dad’s buddy of over 40 years, since high school. big part of the burnoutington chapter, he and his wife erin, who also rules. we have a good little unit out here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552906/in/photostream/

i feel angelina jolie permanently wears these type of shades. am i right? and brad copies her? is he banging some younger co-star? i saw it on a magazine at the supermarket. please confirm.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973911/in/photostream/

i love this photo mom.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973957/in/photostream/

this too of course. giz is the same age as shawn. i gave her a 30th candy to go. bob was rippin’ on me that 30 is just around the corner for me too. arg! i’m like dad keep all these decorations then you can save 20 dollars. everything all in cost me 50 bucks to decorate. not bad.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974047/in/photostream/

and a fifty plus copy of esquire. last year i bought him wallabees. he should call them casino shoes cos he only wears them at niagara hahaha. weddings too maybe? i want my brother to dress like a metrosexual. don’t think linda could handle it. thank god he dresses eminem phewf. always dress for the position in society you want to be not what you are. that’s why i dress like a sultan.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974145/in/photostream/

this shirt is not at all flattering, my mom has huge cans so she gets bigger shirts then they just look dumpy and make me look fat. anyway this photo still has to go up.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974211/in/photostream/

nana asked how i was, insinuating that i was not feeling fine, mentally. which means my mom is talking shit behind my back about how i might be a stressed out mental case or something which is fine because i am it’s because i am non-stop working and achieving mom thanks but my nana’s lips quivered when i went, “why!?” then she asked where the teacher was so i was like fine i’ll invite him then. i was on edge all weekend and yes i am hyper-sensitive. i am used to little nana-isms coming at me. she took down shawn too he went in for a sit to try and get her to talk about me but she only nana’d him then he came out fuming ahhaha HAHAHA!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610553334/in/photostream/

oh baby rocky i wuv wuv wuv you. yes this is happening right meow. leave me alone.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610553434/in/photostream/

oh my god hailey you are so cool.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974613/in/photostream/

linda send me your pics!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610553756/in/photostream/

plaid brigade (mom’s insistence, love it) and that babe in the middle is erin.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974755/in/photostream/

who was even taking these? haha.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610553884/in/photostream/

can’t remember who did this. we got a ladder. everyone was blasted. it was hilarious.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974915/in/photostream/

see my little archway?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974965/in/photostream/

aaand so on.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609975017/in/photostream/

i brought this over so i could be the center of attention too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610626800/in/photostream/

i gave hailey the duty of putting the candles on but then wigged her out by saying there are SO many ways to do it. in the end she did it her own original way. impressive. i love her creativity. can you picture me as a teenager with her as a baby lying in bed with me and playing her my jewelry box tinkly music to get her to stop crying and we would nap together or i would pass out from exhaustion cos i’d already been up doing homework after hanging with ward after work after school etcetera? i’m gonna get misty eyed.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610626928/in/photostream/

this got us all ripped. loosened the bitchy right out of me. haha see my glass? dad was like we have to do this outside and i go dad please i have much experience opening these it will just go right into this glass here. he opened it perfectly.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610048129/in/photostream/

yellow on blond, brown on brown, perfect no?

ok flickr is fucked i have other things that need attention right meow.

xoxox hosers!

love you shawny happy 30th!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606799110/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604580090/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603995163/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604579430/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604580326/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603995797/in/photostream/

part of my gift to my brother will be this circus room (the kitchen is also decked out) but specifically, all the shit that went down whilst trying to put it all up. oh fucking christ my dad and i reached new levels of arguing. we took a drink break after each streamer was strung. we had fun of course, but ribbing and squacking is part of it. that’s how families do right.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604580726/in/photostream/

here he is telling my vision TO me. the one i originally had when buying the decorations. alone. while he waited for the balloons. that i had to tell him to go take a walk in the parking lot for and i’d take care of, myself.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604580918/in/photostream/

i came out to him chilling on a pizza slice. good. i had already started feeling bitchy guilt. this is a good picture because it represents how god-like he became and at one point he was sitting down telling me to twirl or lower the crepe paper before taping and i was like OK STALIN! he’s all who? you know, the russian dictator? he laughed and got it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604581094/in/photostream/

every time he told me to twirl it i’d call him a fag. shawn will especially like that part.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604581288/in/photostream/

aid arrived before we murdered one another.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603996913/in/photostream/

we took another drink break.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603997101/in/photostream/

and annihilated some of the party food for tomorrow, which is today. dad had to go out and replenish our supplies. he and teacher got right ripped last night.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604582016/in/photostream/

i am turning into a party nazi mom. there were tons of those broads at the party store holy crap is it EVERYONE’S birthday today? all these 80 year olds too. guess what, i found out there are a lot of 80 year olds in burlington (the third best place to live in canada, second being BC, first, ottawa. based on low crime, employment, affordability, healthcare bla bla) thanks to the party store and the fleet of pre-ordered 80s stamped on balloons.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603997533/in/photostream/

i figured there’ll be lots of photo taking today so why not push it to next level, level? the brown ears are chocolate scented. those are for shawn but i am keeping them. they can be re-used cos they’re actual animal colour, i am set on it in a bizarrely stubborn way. they also smell like chocolate. case closed. i have a big fluffy pink pair of bunny ears in the tickle trunk already.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604582486/in/photostream/

teacher just went out for a smoke (i DESPISE smoking btw) and said two joggers waved at him. i’m like woah we’re pretty rural out here then eh?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603997957/in/photostream/

i am bloated like mental right now, this month’s cycle has been crizzazzy. henceforth yesterday was a bloaty day in the raymbohood.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603998191/in/photostream/

it’s true. all true. i’m going to drive the point of how much my brother sucks home today like no other. you know when you make an accidentally spot on joke hitting someone’s weakness perfectly by mistake and they reveal it, then you have power over them for the rest of the day? kind of like that? or when i made that ten dollar joke about calling the bar for my missing ten dollar bill, the more april laughed the more i could reinforce that funny and make it funnier. ok i just woke up so i don’t know if anything i am saying right now is actually happening, much less funny. i like the white tips of these ears.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603998373/in/photostream/

that bubble balloon is the best.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604583270/in/photostream/

so matchy. i didn’t want it to look like a st. patricks day party or a baby shower for a boy also, blue and green should never be seen unless it’s in a washing machine. i tell you, i am martha f–ing stewart.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604583448/in/photostream/

i need fake tits. then i can make all the playboy bunny jokes forevs.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604583668/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604583904/in/photostream/

i ploughed through these chocolates yesterday. not all of them but i am staying away from the rest today because i have an eating problem. an everything problem. problems. probs. probably. 99 problems but a chocolate ain’t one. not today at least. these are those supermarket metro chocolates, cheap and delicious and better thanevery. they’re filled with fudge. also a peanut version. YUM.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604584098/in/photostream/

ok back to work.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603999675/in/photostream/

load bearing tape. lots of tape. we had fights and debates about the tape. oh you betcha. i almost stuffed a rabbit ears in teacher’s eye socket.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604584526/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604584760/in/photostream/

here we went retro popcorn ceiling capture vision.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604584982/in/photostream/

st. andrew green cross.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604000431/in/photostream/

which isle would that represent?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604000657/in/photostream/

wanted to get me socks in the mirror. don’t you hate when people type british or aussie or whatever and they have zero fucking accents but still relentlessly feel the need to drive the point home they went to new zealand for a month?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604000847/in/photostream/

ooh that’s a good one. feels a lot fuller when you’re in the space. this is before i added blue ribbons.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604001039/in/photostream/

then teacher got a taste of abuse we barked at him simultaneously as he tried to tape this one simple crepe ending. it is so easy to conduct from your ass in a chair and hyperly-fucking irritating to be the one taping the thing up. you don’t have eyes when you’re up there but chair ass thinks they’re GOD now. there’s absolutely no solution for it. husbands and wives for years will suffer this picture hanging hell. my dad actually had to ask me how he could tell me the crepe paper was too high without me blowing up at him and i was like i dunno DON’T then! yeah it was psychotic. it should have been filmed.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604001225/in/photostream/

oh hey budday. rocky (the cat) has been a little on edge but more or less coping fine by stella’s companionship.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604586146/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604586344/in/photostream/

time for another break and a costume change.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604001773/in/photostream/

i wonder if my mother is bringing those three other bags of clothes for me today?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604001963/in/photostream/

added more shit to the room, the dangling 30 mobiles. which also got heated of where to place them. oh man next time i am hiring blog slaves who don’t give me any back talk and will just take orders.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604002269/in/photostream/

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAKASCONNIE! see you later!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603994357/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604578838/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604578642/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603993791/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604578036/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603993201/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604577620/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606212549/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606212691/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606212867/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606213049/in/photostream/

just getting them all in before my mom takes over. FIRST!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606213219/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606798890/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606798994/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606798734/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606214185/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606799564/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606214669/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606214785/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606800122/in/photostream/

yesterday was beautiful.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606800320/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606800490/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606800660/in/photostream/

dad got duped by jehovas. ha burn.

kay gotta make my h’ourderves now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601175960/

faking it again.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600591143/

haha sloppy vision.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601172430/

oh i’ll kiss you too. kissaholic anonymous. except VERY PUBLICLY.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601171628/

it’s a picture of me getting my way.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600587447/

so happy. this spring i’ma sell this one, it’s called london.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601179932/

so versatile.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601180312/

and i am skinnier than it. yay. oh hey jason wtf? it’s like i conjured up everybody out of a genie bottle by blasting those photos up from tarek’s birthday (obvs having most to do with all of this).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600593785/

oh yes now please help me fix this thanks. women, ahem, do you feel me now? now, pay attention closely please.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603528694/

comprende?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603528742/in/photostream/

how about now?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5602945139/in/photostream/

understand?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603528920/in/photostream/

this is why we do the things we do.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5602945293/in/photostream/

ahh gosh darn jeez.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603528642/in/photostream/

sometimes i feel like you aren’t even listening to me at all.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600593377/

so um, right here? mhmm. hahahah.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601177354/in/photostream/

oh i think we got it finally now, sorry about that colleague.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601176818/in/photostream/

liking the safety pin accoutrements. boy has a personal signature.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600591865/in/photostream/

not now april mom is busy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601174916/in/photostream/

oh great, now you are fucked.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600590049/in/photostream/

i can’t handle it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601174248/in/photostream/

so revealing.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601173572/in/photostream/

oh april hehehehh awesome.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600588493/in/photostream/

predatory. i need a madam name. too bad heidi fleiss is taken.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600586711/in/photostream/

the sweet onion hypnotizes tarek.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600586281/in/photostream/

i need a pantyhose hosiery tights socks sponsorship. winkity wink. i think i am canada’s most famous blogger WITH THE BEST LEGS since 2000. go ahead and dispute that.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601169288/in/photostream/

i love this guy. i molested one of those appleton modelservants too. of course i did. oh that’s right there was a chick who was like 8 feet tall walking around. it was amazing.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601161590/in/photostream/

photobomber.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600576901/in/photostream/

our butts should be touching.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600576427/in/photostream/

potatoface.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601160070/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600575393/in/photostream/

wonder where these men went off to this night. i say no more. hehh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601159148/in/photostream/

tarek got our girl this dress.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601157622/in/photostream/

i edie’d around the room.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601155506/in/photostream/

see how tall i am? stupid pose with legs (i will stop doing that eventually) making me slouch, she’s in heels and i am STILL taller. maybe i will start lying about my height. yeah. i am 5’10 guys. i am 5’8, photograph as 5’11. now spread it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601154828/in/photostream/

appears as though i am about to be nexted but what is actually happening here readers is i am nexting a drink off her tray and seen.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600569449/in/photostream/

admiring my fall future with these nella purses. i informed some soshe media people, or reminded them that i am the reason they have anything to do with the tarek nella purse parties at all. i got there first then my coattailers beaked up. one kid in particular was like, oh, well, i see. the ball dropped that’s right you are talking to the queen bee. i handed my card to another and he’s like all these awards? when did you win them? ok we are putting you in the summer issue. another queen bee blogger reminder, NONE of my competitors have won any blog awards as far as i remember or know, and each award as you all remember, was weeks of abuse and torture and work and i always landed first place. they are achievements and i plan to never bother with them again hahaha. i just realized this evening that i have to play the game some more and i’ve been too lazy, though i’m afforded that luxury of not having to work myself to the bone as much as others have to offensively litter each post with insincere ads and links and circle jerks i get to do the lazy raymi self indulgent organic thing more so i should stop feeling so stressed and competitive and use this extra time to FINISH MY BOOK.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601153014/in/photostream/

holy tangent. also i will be speaking to a class at my old high school soon. i will be inspiring minds to not go to college or university to just party til they’re 28 WUHOO! no kidding relax there folks, i will be making it very clear that only certain people make it. i’ll be using talking points from my book. which i have done at all of my talks. i spoke to millionaire entrepreneurs, i spoke at ryerson as well, that was awesome. i’ll brag about these another time but i tell you nothing is more fulfilling than motivating others just by opening and closing your mouth a lot and talking about yourself. speaking to rich jet setters about blogging and making money on the internet, amazing.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600568387/in/photostream/

i want you now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601151254/in/photostream/

tarek you are so balling guy! fuck! fuckin right awesome!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600566463/in/photostream/

raymitheminx needs its own font designed then i’ll get that tattoo’d down my arm.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600564809/

i heard all of this from the ladies. i had a shy bladder and was so infuriated with my timing. it’s a mixed blessing as i’m sure i would have heckled or said something dumb.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600563187/in/photostream/

cool shot. i love that you are standing on an actual soap box.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601146418/in/photostream/

doesn’t age.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601145508/in/photostream/

so it can be a clutch on its own the little guy or worn like tool time as jason showed us a few posts back.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600560217/in/photostream/

smart bag.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601143672/in/photostream/

i saw this photographer just itching to take my picture but not sure how to broach it so i looked at him and said you can take my picture like royalty. which was nice of me as he took the last rum cran off the modelservant’s tray before i could.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600559053/in/photostream/

and that’s me holding it for him.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601142552/in/photostream/

i gave him a few options to work with. i am generous like that.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601141944/in/photostream/

oh now what, you too?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601141362/in/photostream/

fuh-ine. actually i felt like i blinked a lot thursday night. i did. i ruined many pictures because as much as i am a poser, i am pretty au naturale too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601139600/in/photostream/

this is before brock (20!) asked about my birthday and how i’m thirty now. see what happens on your 21st. kiddo. also, let me remind you about something.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5436217213/in/dateposted/

you may be younger but you cannot outlast me. also, this could’ve been worse. much much worse. can a blog slave somewhere mark a line down on the kill board for me please? thank you.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5436796848/in/dateposted/

i cock-blocked you from so much fug this night. you’re welcome. we invented you. haha. ok fine i am too hard on brock. beautiful people have it too easy i think so this is partly why i rib him maybe, or it’s too easy. i just remembered a funny thing, as i was leaving with my colleague brock went puppy dog face and said HEY i want one of those. yes, of course you do.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600555075/in/photostream/

even from afar the shit talkin’ don’t stop.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600554553/in/photostream/

am told that inevitably i will go in to PR. we’ll see. actually yeah i was thinking the other day i would totally be a stage mom, i know exactly what to do already to stand apart from everybody else, if i make a baby that is better looking than me and keep it better looking then i can be lindsay lohan’s mom and WORLD DOMINATE until it picks up a drinking drug addiction and then send it to rehab on neptune. though why wait until making my own baby, i can just take your little piece of sunshine and turn her into a monster right meow. you know my email if you need consulting or guidance. talk is cheap, my results are guaranteed.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600553467/in/photostream/

tweet tweet.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601136806/in/photostream/

here i am figuring out how to get that bag.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600551175/in/photostream/

my night began here though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601134562/in/photostream/

here i am showing my class (upper middle stfu!)(and age) by exclaiming my amazement at seeing the year 1972 on a bottle of wine. oh just let me have a taste come on. you know everyone wants to specifically hear what i have to say about the taste of wine someone saved for over forty years (holy willpower) and not a sommelier, they already fucking know everything yawwwn. anyway, because i watched dirty rotten scoundrels during my formative years a billion times i know that people with real money buy wine they don’t drink, and donate gardens for hospital courtyards and um, wear a lot of white, so, i shut my trap for the most part at this wino auction party. i let the loudest coloured blazer (from my aunt thanks!) do the talking for me.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600550251/in/photostream/

fine i ‘ll even settle on a a fresh bottle from 1982, that’s good enough for my tastes. for now anyway.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600549139/in/photostream/

the red they were serving (trius i think) was surprisingly delicious. the white, not so much.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601132482/in/photostream/

the auctioneer host began with an irrelevant joke i can’t remember now but only half were listening. i laughed because i was buzzed. i liked when the next dude snapped at everyone drunk blathering too loudly by the bar and i was standing all pink separating the talkers from the bidders so i stood stark still and quiet while he tried to shut them up but they couldn’t hear him over their loud talking and no one jumped in to pass the lecture shush along, i was too scared, so i stood there in my elle woods blazer trying to become invisible. public take downs stain my cheeks fuschia. i had already just blocked the view of several fat cats as well and was sternly told to move so, no more trouble outta me.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601131760/in/photostream/

my pals from cheese boutique had truffle infused burrata on site, i died. also my retest would be the following morning. wuhoh. must steer clear of this area.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600547297/in/photostream/

that jacket is pretty tiny and i felt bloated so i think i’ll have to bring it out again with a different bottom. we’ll see.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601519833/in/photostream/

i floated over to these five bottles, my friends, i’ve had you before. lets bid!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601518827/in/photostream/

women were staring at me (which i interpreted wildly in numerous ways as usual) and it was freaking me out so i made fat smile faces a lot. i need to mellow out.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5602102834/in/photostream/

this is where i tried to be invisible. i cannot tune out anger or stress, like, at all. what a difference in the two functions i went to hey. i’d never been in crush before, i know a chick who works in the kitchen, they’re connected to all the usual suspect industry type restos i (have)(and do) giv’er at so it was nice to slink in there in-hot pink blazer-cognito.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5602102426/in/photostream/

this guy pushed so much f–ing chocolate on me. coffee bean chocolate, cranberry, just straight milk chocolate. he was great. from stratford. i told him i’ve been there many times before, and to st. mary’s lots too. he was intrigued, i had intrigued the independent chocolatier and speaking of independent, i will be the brand spokesperson big wig independent business pusher for a new virtual marketplace soon so all that pr-baloney business speak i was mentioning up above is actually semi-starting, not exactly in terms of pr though, but business. i’m going donald trump and less donald tramp like i said before. baby’s branching out.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601517061/in/photostream/

well, at least i will look hot pregnant. girls it is impossible to suck it in when you’re wearing a spandex tube, you cannot feel anything. so always wear pants if you can. however, the fact that i am wearing that dress means i am in skinny zone cos it’s tiny, was britt’s and that pink blazer is wicked petite too so i’m a giraffe trying to stuff myself into thumbelina’s wardrobe.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601182230/in/photostream/

but the night wasn’t finished yet. had to drop in to the gladstone to love up a prospective client to-be. was right gunned by that point so i think raymi rubbed her the right way.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601181802/in/photostream/

and she had more food for me to eat. i sped-talked the table to outrun my eating and luckily they finished them before i could have a chance thank god. no, the cosmos. things may be gettin’ a l’il hippie ’round these parts puh-retty soon.

today’s agenda, get everything needed for brother’s birthday tomorrow. go for convertible ride with Duncs. eat on a patio in the sun. go for convertible ride with Duncs. cave and have teacher over. might go see a fleetwood mac coverband tonight so anyone wanting to give’r tonight you know what to do.

BURNOUTINGTON IS OUTINGTON!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601180844/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600596695/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600578729/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600579563/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601164388/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600580429/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601165356/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600581301/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601167218/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601167602/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601167984/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601168410/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600584265/in/photostream/

going through the reel of last night wooh fun times. bit by bit by bit i’ll scatter breadcrumbs here we’re on burnoutington time now. i’m eating handfuls of kashi and drinking guilty men malivoire, gonna be an early night my eyes are already squinting hardcore. thanks again tarek! and the rest. tonight i will be adding my dad to facebook. MAYBE! maybe tomorrow, who knows! he just called me down to the tv to see what was on and i’m thinking obviously the apocalypse from the tone in his voice. nope. just an immaculate to scale airport on discovery channel with an old white geezer sitting beside a model airplane. hahaha. i almost had a fucking heart attack. now he’s going on about it more. ok i’m sold. payce.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601179932/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600549139/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601127360/in/photostream/

had my retest today at tmr. overall great improvement. lost inches, lost weight, i’m stronger, can do shit longer and better. so yay. i am winning so my lifestyle is being attacked now by my fitness person, i have no idea how to word this shit but essentially that means i’m more than maintaining. i’m in the fitness area, meaning i am a legit fit person now. it’s real guy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600544523/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600544435/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600965746/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600386527/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600965238/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600382693/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600964738/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600387157/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600383683/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600971634/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600972266/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600968292/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600388341/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600384805/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600970246/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600965456/in/photostream/

omg these chicken soft tacos are the best. this is the soundtrack to my summer right here. i love the brazenhead.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601128356/

nails are long still. crap job of them though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601128074/in/photostream/

got dtd yesterday. day time drunk. i was stressed about the three events (i’m a baby) i had to do in one night. i keep saying i am coming out of last week’s bday mess. i went hard the last two weeks actually and now i am shifting gears into fitness and health and beauty. i’ve been inundated with so much fucking gossip and rumours and have learned some hurtful things people in this stupid fucking neighbourhood have been piping up about me, people who’ve never even met me. simultaneous to that is my regular blog trolling nastiness. it is never-ending. i am skimming out the fat, all of it, the useless drama. from now on if you hear something about me don’t waste my time with it, simply tell the teller to go fuck themselves and thank you i am too busy to be dragged down by this drama.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600544233/in/photostream/

right, so i was defending DTD.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601127874/in/photostream/

i’m going to my dad’s for the weekend. it’s my brother’s 30!th birthday on sunday so i figure i have earned my little burnoutington bubble, it’s been over a month since i last went. shocking.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600543901/in/photostream/

i’m stressed to the max and i need space, i need a break. i’m money stressed life stressed status quo stressed gAAAAAH BLAAAAAAAAAAH!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600543075/in/photostream/

i’m not ready to be accountable for a relationship yet. i am and i’m not. i just need to drop off without question or explanation like that, defiantly, without the person feeling like i am doing it purposely to them you know? i told the teacher i’ve had my heart broken so many times this past year. it’s steeled me now and made me oh so gruff so when i’m ready to run i just run and i’ll see when you when i get back. i need my distance otherwise i’m going to just be a bitch forever. i don’t even know what’s meant to be private anymore. people say so much shit about me or share all my stories with their own circle and i never get a fucking say but then when i have the audacity to tell their stories it’s meltdown time. arg.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600542849/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601126370/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600542487/in/photostream/

i liked this vantage, so quarry and it’s so not.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601126260/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600542329/in/photostream/

the guy in this hippie van flashed me a peace sign as he was waiting at the light. should have posed with him. i was too shy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600542207/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601125928/in/photostream/

guess who left with the flower purse…

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601125812/in/photostream/

went to crush for a wine auction. taking this photo made them think i was bidding though i was immediately outbid thank goodness, it was up to $890. proper pics of this in my next post.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601125750/in/photostream/

tarek’s party was great. i had a lot of mai tais. the appleton dudes were there too great to see them again. i did some cartwheels. stupid fucking brock asked me if was thirty (he was joking) i should have pushed him through a window or left with kevin and brought only kevin to cut copy. pics on this also in next post. saw anita and was like heeey how long have you been here, she’s like, 15 minutes and i quip that’s an hour in fashion world eh? she laughed. touchdown.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600541841/in/photostream/

yesterday the city was a moor, so foggy. loved it. look at the cn tower if you can SEE N tower it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600541745/in/photostream/

these baked jerk wings are super duper hot.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600541653/in/photostream/

trying to get myself with my mirror, the other shot the teacher took of me doing my behind the scenes self photog diy trickery. no more face lotioning i am breaking out. what do i do?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600541581/in/photostream/

my mystery designer specs.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5601125130/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600541447/in/photostream/

i did a late night guilty work out to cancel out the cheese wine mai tais and DTD.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5600541155/in/photostream/

alright alright sorry for the sloppy post off to a meeting.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597793467/in/photostream/

holy eight years later much? the teacher dropped me off here, this was weeeeks ago when everything was in its infancy of driving him insane stages.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5598373990/in/photostream/

took hours to translate the vision of put this in front of your face tarek.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597793349/in/photostream/

hi this is me. i’m here. check my name off please. i am in attendance. validate me now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5598373830/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597793187/in/photostream/

this is how we got dranks.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5598373748/in/photostream/

i’m a great kisser. april was crap.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597793095/in/photostream/

lesbo bait.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597793505/

tarek you are the best can’t wait to see you tonight.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5598373578/in/photostream/

that was a fun party. i lost ten dollars and made a joke about that all night to april. maybe i should call and ask if they found my ten dollars? then i found it the next day in the form of toonies and loonies in a tiny inner purse pocket hahaha.

oh and ladies and gents this is the hottie behind the camera of these photos. yuh-um.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5598414484/

jason is seen here modeling one of tarek’s bags. i want one of those.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597834279/in/photostream/

i think i could pull it off for sure also perfs for this summer.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597834209/in/photostream/

this was a test for me. look at me smacking my maw. i only succumbed to a bit of icing. just a bit. jason was like a diabetic fat fuck on these we were concerned. he had ten pieces. it reminded me of my sugar binge of last spring. girl is watching her figure now son. i’m going to be in a shoot for a big brand clothing company (as background)(ha but STILL) soon, so.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5598447876/

maybe see you twerps tonight at this? socialite thursday in effect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnEi9bsqwls

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5596661415/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597239552/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5596663529/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5596665785/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597249866/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5596672063/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597255602/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597257198/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597258984/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597261328/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5596682005/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5596693725/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5596698211/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5596699795/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597282780/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5596702891/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5597285828/in/photostream/