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haay paaaaaaaaaaaals!

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here is what my monday looked like. i am WAY leaner since this. it still floors me to look at them though as i haven’t had a chance to yet so you’re gonna get live actual reactions and zero bullshit. ok, maybe a little bit of bullshit. we do what we can right?

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as you can see, i look like shit. if i photographed what i looked like each morning i think i would kill myself, or the internet would have a field day. however, this is reality. i think i mighta said to colleague no close ups ok? fuck this might even be from this monday i think it is actually, my brain is so scattered AGHHHHHH.

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ok i just looked at the date, yep this is my monday following getting ripped all weekend long in burnoutington. so spent. i haven’t even had the chance to go through my burnoutington photos yet, just one thing after another. not complaining. just releasing it out into the world so i can get the poison out and perform more efficiently.

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here i am warming up with the russian nightmare. his dreams of training his beloved blond gazelle (with mysterious facial ancestry in the face) finally came to fruition.

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we twirled our hips. this is the move i always snicker at when i see the trainers doing it but it’s great to loosen you up except there is nothing much loose about a thick russian accent you can barely decipher, what, are those even words? i think he is a mumbler. he is very very nice though don’t get me wrong but it’s not going to stop me from analyzing him up and down.

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they all make fun of my shorts there so it gives me a complex about wearing them. not this day though as i was thin as a whippet. all my clothes are shrinking. beeeeach ready. almost.

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i wish i could do a back flip.

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i’m doing pin wheels here. ha no i mean windmills. excuse me, retard crossing. beep beep.

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michelle tanner at 28. speaking of…

chicks with steve buscemi eyes hahaha. sorry you can’t unsee that. some really good ones.

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chicken dance knee wobbling 360 degree rotation.

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i am way mature.

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wow i look haggard. pretty much nil makeup. anyway look it’s walter my lifestyle challenge work out party for the day. i am proud of him he has the best attitude and is dead set on results, pushes himself too. russian nightmare corrected me on my lunges and showed me how and to lunge deeper and it hurt so much i HATE lunges i have given up on co-ordination with them i look like a sloppy loser but now that i know the correct form i’ll do them right.

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haha nice potato nana face. see how i am mentally checking out. have to at certain points of your session, go zen and just DO IT don’t give up okee dokee.

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if you need to talk a little shit to get through, by all means.

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andrew has a cool arm sleeve. i told him about watching the biggest loser and how it’s like as big as survivor ow, they went to new zealand (beautiful!) and made the fatties run up the stairs to the top of that huge whatever version of the cn tower they have over there and then they jumped off. 1027 steps. easy i could do that. even one fatty was like wow i realized i was in shape halfway up. that’s amazing. i want to climb the cn tower how do i do that? also how many steps is it i am too lazy to google someone tell me in the comments thank you.

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andrew said he’s going to watch the show too now to motivate the dudes more. i said we should be surprised with a taped episode and watch it together in the kidz360 and i would like to say have a pizza party but that is kind of (totally) counter-productive.

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ten pounder there. i can do 15 too. love it. haha and my mom thinks she is stronger than me.

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should i get her and lois in here?

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plank the tank. ha. oh see anthony showed up yay. dan was also absent. mmhmm. this is why i gave walter seven minutes in heaven afterward. join my raymi rewards program and you too can cash in hehhheh. sorry i am charlie sheening right now i have infinity deadlines. real and imagined.

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you should see me speed through around the world. i say i’ll do a video of my top five best exercises. the ones that are most fun to watch at least.

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halfway through you remember your core and you fire the shit out of it cos this is a hard move on your arms and while you’re down there you’re like i may as well get the full benefit of this torturous movement. you go 360 one way then the other way around.

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some are better than other sat it. i was terrible at first but i got better and better. i hope this is motivating some of you lazy arses out there.

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dying and flying. if i hate something i just do it as fast as possible. like how i one day walked into a bear, an actual black bear (it was a teenager but STILL!) because i was hungover and overheated in the woods power-walking ahead of everyone on this hike and i wanted it over and done with asap but i knew it was a long one, almost 2km in and the same back again. so i speed walk right into a bear like two shitty toyotas apart and i was still motoring as we had met and realized the other’s presence. we stood and looked each other in the eye and both pussied out, i turned right back on my heels and SPRINTED like kanye west in the runaway video (like a psychopath) back into my ex and his cousins and they’re all oh what’s up so caj with their walking sticks and i sputtered out like john candy in the great outdoors bb-b–bb-BEAR! then they all did a ready to fight stance and held their sticks like bats we all grabbed something for a weapon and started cracking the branches together to make loud noises to let all wildlife know we were there, which is what we should have been doing all along. if i had walked right into that bear, i dunno man, i was pretty out of shape then and exhausted from our hike and sweaty. the fear adrenaline it put in me though. dad are you scared? ok so the point of that was next time i am speed walking because i am hating my hike (which i now wouldn’t because i am a fitness freak i cannot wait to go on hikes this spring/summer) is the same as me getting through around the world on that ball. just push yourself and shut up and take it because it is the opposite attitude you’ve been taking your entire life which is what has made you fat in the first place. got it? great.

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i look like i am in a coma

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a sweaty skinny little coma.

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sexy eyes blinking independently of the other coma. definitely svelte now. sorry but The Motion Room‘s results are undeniable. even alyssa is getting twiggy in the torso. maybe i’ll get down to vintage clothing sizes petite. hope so. today james said well yeah you ARE in your final months/weeks of it so i’m about on par, could be better if i wasn’t such a drankaholic foodielist right. but i augmented my diet and finally am being good about it, today after i hit publish i’m going on a wild eating spree (again) and tomorrow i begin a cleanse/fast. so tonight is the actual last night of being bad.

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go walter yeah yeah. this is part of the secret to having such a toned back that i have that i never ever had before.

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anthony has work outs the same time i do so i see him all the time, hear him rather, grunting and groaning through it thrice weekly. pullin’ for him.

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i am neurotic over these and kind of scared of the ball going away and falling on my tailbone. because i am a fitness gym rat and in strength phase we added a move to it with the ball over my head, great for triceps which i am obsessed with toning.

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then we got in trouble for something apparently (even though i was doing my moves and correctly) and had to do a brick. is that what it’s called? anyway it’s squats together.

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it looks harder than it was. i didn’t get much out of it well maybe i did i dunno. i was just trying to hold on.

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dear god, please please please don’t let this ball fly out away from us. it could be disastrous.

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we did it ten times?

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we needed a fourth look at those lazy ass trainers just laughing at us.

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look at walter’s face the whole way through. guy is serious.

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i was hiding how easy it was for me.

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it was shower day for sure, my hair was all partied out from the weekend. hey it’s monday gimme a break here.

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cross overs i love them.

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i think i love soccer too. i’m kinda good you know. scrappy nimble, i hail from streetsville.

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come to mama.

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is that the eight or fifteen pounder?

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this is when anthony called me a princess cos i clapped my hands and bellowed COME ON PLANK LETS GO NOW I GOT SHIT TO DO. instead of fireballing a laser at him i just simply went THAT’S RIGHT! when he said ok princess. haha.

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i enjoy perfecting the plank too. your washboard stomach will be thanking you.

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surf’s up dewds.

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wonder if the boys like working out with me more or not.

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i think i’d make a good trainer i know just the right amount of abuse recipe to motivate people, remember mom i trained you once? it worked no?

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no different from normal except from this you will get results.

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then you do it allll over again.

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more assertively and aggressively if you can, and you can, and WILL because now you’re in the zone, you’re a dominator and you want to exceed the first set’s performance.

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i like these.

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i need to buy more underwear, thongs specifically. i can see my underwear outline slightly.

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teaching me to lunge better, the russian nightmare makes contact with his liaison.

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what does crew d mean??????

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gave me a little extra as i am in strength (less reps, more weight).

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so that was fifteen and now this is 20.

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someone’s dying but that’s good, it means they are trying.

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you can see my shirt imprint. i think these are 25’s now? i am STRONG!

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all kinds of weird faces come out of you to lift those beasts.

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i was lifting them all on my own.

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such a beast.

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then i wanted more.

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then i was like, that is enough.

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lateskies!

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off to the gym BRB

I say nunu good. i say nunu goo-oooood. what song is that to the tune of? i say no no good i say no no goood. my brother would know. anyway who cares! nunu means come come in ethiopian. like come to me. so endearing. nunu is endearing she so is. i have passed her restaurant a billion dillion times and never went in. now i will blam on the window every time i pass. i am fun like that.

another strike through a restaurant on raymi’s eating tour of toronto list. i need a blog slave to gather up every i mean EVERY (going back 5 years) restaurant i ever dined and featured on my blog so i can make my own damn directory.

being the professional dater, datrix, the datrix, date machine, serial dater and so on, that i am, i second this critic pick. fully. but why is it a critic’s pick when it isn’t critical? dumb. you so dumb now.

luuuh-ve it. kay i’m doing gay diva personae now, ooh fun.

faaaa-aaaaah-bu-LUS.

fine ethiopian? i am fine with that.

that’s chris and nunu. chris was her very first customer way more than a decade ago he wore her down, eventually won her. that to me is an achievement, more so than i dunno, it’s just an earnest true portrayal of a person’s character i think if they can get the girl. that’s dedication. takes merit. i do not like settlers, so not impressed by them.

another fabulous over-sized tracey shirt. the colour is cosmetic and flattering, it’s a flirty mature shirt and this one guy across the room stared at me in lust all night long i busted him many many times. go tracey! tracey is my mom for the newcomers.

great bar nook.

making me a traditional ethi- (can i shorten it to that now?) cocktail called a tage but in now way do you pronounce it like that it’s like tedge and because i wanted a glass of prosecco first in lieu of wine, they added it to the drink in lieu of soda water so i got two drinks in one and then it was blabbermouth city. awwright.

what are those? guavas? oh did you see letterman last night? that aziz comedian saw 50 cent in a restaurant who ordered grapefruit juice and when it came he said, why isn’t it purple? then he’s like, 50 cent doesn’t know what a grapefruit is! (get it, grape drink?) anyway he goes on with the bit about how he’s done well for himself SURELY he’s got to have seen a grapefruit at some point in time, i like, see a grapefruit at least every other day and i’ve done well for myself too. there i just stole your entire bit aziz! also did you see courteney cox trainwreck? poor girl. find a clip and see for yourself.

here we go. man i would be so thirsty if i were you right now. i just took a swig of coconut juice and cleansed my palette with some pear juice so i’m good.

i like this one.

when they give you ample ice you know they’re a good tender.

ok i changed my mind i am thirsty again.

politely semi-soberly anticipating the delicious concoction whilst bragging about my own bev’abilities.

oh you betcha i’m a pissing contestestant. bumped into another one i know in town earlier this day and immediately it went that way which pissed me off because it always goes that way but i am not the fucking one who always takes it there and i am sick of it. frenemyship OVER unless this person can just talk to me about stuff that isn’t purely peacock feather rustling. it shows you have no depth if you can’t just shoot the shit with someone, always gotta big yourself up to them, so insecure, also, transparent.

i look like mrs. bloody peabody from today’s special. amazing look.

delicious. what does it taste like? um, heaven, skip rope in the summertime dusk, holding hands with your crush, yeah, like that.

ha ha. why is she kneeling? go with it. later on while sitting down to dinner chris finally says, this, is kinda weird. don’t worry bro it will all make sense once i hit publish. bringing real time to internet-time is my specified area of expertise.

this is awesome and a tradition, they roast coffeebeans and walk around smoking the place out, wafting it all over you while you’re eating. it was holy.

who’s a pretty girl, you’re a pretty girl.

alright it’s down to business time.

this was when chris was like WEEEEIRD. the feeling is fast and altogether fleeting, it dissipates and then you forget the camera is there. people coming into the raymisphere is all. i am my own planet. i come in peace.

with lots of confusing distracting vibrant colours and ruffles, dazzle camouflage i call it.

sazerac. sazeractly. i know this one well from suicide benders in new orleans w/leslie.

this was great because it gave me the opportunity to talk about NOLA and reminisce and now i just remembered there’s absinthe in sazerac. i don’t know about you but i’ve got a lot of absinthe stories and what’s great about that is gathering others’ absinthe stories and then you know, of course, russell brand says absinthe like absinf in get him to the greek. that scene is awesome. where was i anyway…

dudes across the way were loving the free show. secretly, privately so. i apologized for the flashes and they gestured like so not a big deal. i knew they didn’t care it was just an opportunity to speak to them. we’ll add that to the section of the autobiography where i discuss minxing.

muddle muddle boil and fuddle or something disney like that. maybe in my next life i’ll go dr. seuss. i already do. guy musta been bipolar. liked drugs too didn’t that come out? no wait that was robert munch. hilar. it’s like the juxtaposition of danny tanner vs. dirty bob saget you cannot separate the two especially with america’s funniest home videos thrown on top. see how fast my brain works?

ok i’ll stand here. i told chris i had my smart serve anyway and he goes, oh yeah? very good impression of impression there.

it was a very good day in the bun neighbourhood i did a good job. sometimes you anally redo it so many times and can never be satisfied.

well if it’s special i guess i should showcase it.

the moment we’ve all been waiting for. mmm.

little miss piggy is here.

i got to try it all. i’ve had ethiopian only once before and suffered an anxiety attack in the restaurant cos of the hot powder i threw on everything. i did not do that this time. it was still pretty spicy for me. loved it. LOVED IT ALL. and for you pussies out there, don’t worry it’s not all spicy. nunu makes this great yogurt that’s like cheese kind of crumbly feta and it cuts the heat. it’s delicious.

that’s the vegetarian platter and it’s all piled on the injera, this spongy porous floppy pita (in theory) stuff you tear off bit by bit and pick up your food with and stuff it all in your mouth. like in medieval times, no cutlery, all bare hands. fun for the whole family.

look how far my feet extend from my torso i’m a gazelle. i am also a pig smiling into food. i am a feelings eater for sure.

in the middle is the traditional chicken which i got all over my face. it was very spicy and nunu was scared for me i was all oh relax i do this all the time. at brazenhead when i order the baked jerk wings they’re like BE CAREFUL ARE YOU SURE LITTLE GIRL!? i can handle the heat better than everyone. yes i am sure.

ok guys lets do this. ps. look at all the pillows. so sucks you in and i love the big tables, inviting and spacious.

bad photo but that’s the veg stuff. beets, corn, etc.

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cool middle pot is chris’ couscous.

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a high-end version thereof i might add.

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injera: yeast-risen flatbread with a unique slightly spongy texture traditionally made of teff flour. what it is in carbs i have no idea but you don’t feel bloated afterward. just make sure you don’t drink beer with it, but if you do only have one. i stayed with water and cocktails.

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there i’m going for the chicken.

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if you’re smart you can come out of this with clean hands. but you’re not smart so don’t count on that happening. it’s so good you end up wearing it on your face.

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i didn’t even wait for napkins i just went right on in there. every man for themself guys. it’s a dog eat dog world.

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waiting for the burn to hit me. you can see the white yogurt cheesy magic fluff on the table.

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nunu liking the grazing. i am a major grazer i love to pick at things, ethiopian is perfect for that.

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and, my dear friends, NUNU is currently being featured on LBL with their two can dine for $40 deal (normally $67) which is phenomenal. you get the misto misto (mixed platter), what we have here, the vegetarian and meat platters or you can have vegan and it includes two glasses of wine AS WELL as two creme caramel desserts (which i was too full to try). it’s in your hop skip and jump route you know we all take passed the drake, nunu is located beside midpoint 1179 QUEEN STREET WEST. why am i talking to scenesters only here? haha. i stole this blurb from live better local:

Enjoy Nunu’s wonderful misto misto with two glasses of house wine and homemade creme caramel. Nunu can tailor her dishes for meat lovers, omnivores and vegans – whatever you prefer.

limited quantity of 50, guys. savings of almost $30. cheap date for sure.

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this shit eating grin could be your shit eating grin!

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here comes the burn. not as bad as the one your mother got on the day you were born though. heh you’re welcome for the mama joke. oh shit it’s mother’s day soon.

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what? on my face? where?

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thank you for the hot towels, i thought you were not supposed to use them, they are special get your hands clean before you get them dirty again towels though makes complete sense as you will be sucking sauce off your fingertips which are filthy from all the things you touched all day long. germaphobe nightmare.

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mmmm. couscous is healthy right, good carb sub or less evil carb.

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and then i visited my vegetable friends over there.

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and then i looked younger the more you drank.

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and then in a flash it was all gone, all over.

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and it was time for another bev. this was very limey and boozy. i’ll find out the name in just a second when i get to that picture i took of what it’s called. i think the caiprihana but i know i spelled it wrong which is why i wanted to wait til i came to it to tell you what it was because i am a profesional. hi i am a psycho, have we met?

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disaffected photoshoot time.

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i am digesting. what do you want from me?

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alright fine i will humour this. it’s like if i don’t get attention i will die or something.

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show a little belly for the boys. they like their meat. i hear.

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there we go, caipirinha, traditional brazilian drink, and other places too. there is something about sunshine and hot weather that makes your crave lime booze right? think about how many lime drinks there are. THINK ABOUT IIIIIT I SAID! (because i can’t i am presently fantasizing about brazil).

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held it in til the very end. what a wonderful time. you are pretty much guaranteed to get laid if you take a girl here, if you don’t well, that’s on you. i can lead you to water but i can’t make ya drink. well i can if i shove your face in with my boot on your head but you know what i mean. actually i’m not sure that you do anymore haha.

ok one more time, two can dine for $40 at NUNU. if you’ve never tried ethiopian before, this is the perfect way to try it OR it’s a great gift idea. tell nunu and chris raymi said hi.

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new fun feature (when i feel like it).

eating the city looks like this.

i am pumped to watch survivor tonight. i haven’t seen it in, years? i don’t care how far deep into the season they are, i cannot wait for my favourite escapist show ever. why is it on wednesdays now though? ok i didn’t mean to start blogging (writing) talking here (sometimes my fingers don’t listen) i just downloaded my nunu pictures and thought you might like to see me with hot chicken sauce all over my face. no problem.

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oh hi there toronto, how’s your news today?

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peep my lil skull head that impressively hasn’t been nicked after all these years.

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too small to notice it. now watch it’ll get thiefed.

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bit rusty. the bikes on wheels boys will sort me out hopefully. new location on queen street couldn’t be more central. beautiful bikes in there too. 779 queen street w. check it though, you can pre-buy a spring tune-up service for 33% off right now via Live Better Local, (the brainchilds behind my raymi cruise of the city yesterday) they’re like a co-operative of independent businesses, LOCAL SHIT (my favourite) that you go to all the time anyway. i love these guys because now finally there’s a place online that will show me all my regular haunts across the city who’ve joined LBL‘s business directory (for free, you can do it too if you like and don’t have a website for your business).

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for me personally, i like a site like LBL cos it encourages these businesses to get online. do you know how many businesses i visit in a day and then try to get on board with the internet (everybody wins if we’re all on the internet) and they are just like straight not in to it, it makes my job so much tougher when businesses have internet phobias, pushing boulders uphill, to explain to such and such vendor that by giving me a discount or something for free, it will pay off for them because i am a walking billboard for absolutely everything i come into contact with. why do i care? because i am a consumer and i am constantly buying shit, doing things, needing stuff, you know, plus i am a cheapskate and i always try to see how i can get things for free or at least very cheaply which is where the internet comes in and if these people are already familiar with that then the selling myself speech gets to be shorter.

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it’s just a little frustrating and like going back in time, all the time, some times and then i’m like screw it i’ll just pay full price and be bitter about it because i know the effectiveness of my influence but not only that it’s a guaranteed promo if the thing makes it to my blog whether it is intentional or not, i just did pepsi (for ex.) a solid of 10k eyeballs by mistake you get what i’m saying? eventually i will have my sales pitch strategy down pat. i realized yesterday that i am going to be a bloody salesman til the day i die. i think i lost ten years off my life from that realization.

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and so the beautiful thing that LBL has done for us is they’ve approached about 200 businesses (and growing) thus far and got them on board to their business directory, and the more that increases, the better it will be. will be. heh. kay sara, sara and such right. any business can run a deal whenever they want, they don’t have to wait for their turn, they can just keep pumping them out and ask lbl to feature it, no problem. they don’t even have to run any deals they can just update their vendor page with photos or NEWS, articles, press mentions the sky is the limit. no catch either. lbl can come by and take photos of your shop too and you can use them on your own little platform in the marketplace, kind of like a hybrid of a facebook/blog/website and you won’t have to deal with, i dunno, making your own damn website. it’s like, you are an idiot if you don’t join because all the other indie businesses in your hood are on it and when a particular neighbourhood is featured well, do you like making money or not? do you want to be included? i’m going to do a raymi video of me biking from my home across the city on a day in the life of raymi and along my journey i will visit some places, now, what is “some places” exactly? pretty vague but essentially any place that would want me to visit and therefore not only be included in the video broadcast on my blog but, NOT blurred out, not specifically omitted. more on that later. so much work to be done. you can email me by RAYMI at RAYMITHEMINX dot com fyi.

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love these. guess which colour i liked the most.

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getting warmer.

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i like that bike culture has its own style of dress if you want to be in with the gear heads. what are bike enthusiasts called? anywhoo i’ll be back to pick up my bike after a snack or two. now, where shall we have lunch?

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Leslieville Cheese Market right in the heart of queen street, beside java. this was my first time in here, pass it all the time. i love discovering new places. hi michael! yes i look stupid you’re welcome for posting this.

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mmmm. these dudes are friends with cheese boutique too. all the meats and cheese people are, well, some are, the ones who aren’t competing. ok i’ll shut up now.

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so many things to sample while you wait. you bet your ass i got my sample on. they’re so nice in there.

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by the time i left michelle had already tweeted to me. i like when biz’s are on twitter. i am giving up on trying to explain to others the benefits of it, you’re either playing the social media game or you aren’t. see like i’m leaving now but i’ll tweet while present, that one extra piece to my internet story puzzle would be tweeting specifically @ your business and pointing everyone there, but if you resist the almighty twitter then no tweet love, comprende?

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i built up an appetite from biking over.

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that’s michelle, hi michelle! thanks for the cheese samples (i don’t remember the names of anything). cool shirt, could this post be more canadiana? ha and then i dropped in on the debate and high-fived jack layton. well by the time he returned the fiver i was already coolly slicking back my hair, deeked the guy right out.

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michael is preparing my grilled cheeses back there. i got the tuna melt (MMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and something else. you can purchase a 36% discount thinger right now for some grilled cheese sandwiches how cute is that? sometimes it’s the little things right?

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see how i am clearly the highlight of michelle’s day? is that sad? haha kidding.

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no worries though this was totally one of my highlights of yesterday for sure.

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ok foodie pr0no time.

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oh hi me.

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when the apocalypse comes i know where i am raiding, place is stocked. best bunker ever.

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gluten free. yay!

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the place was busy. people love their food.

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it looks like this from the outside in case you are a neurotic. some people require all the visuals they can get, that’s why google invented street view on maps, because people are idiots i guess.

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i just love the whimsy.

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!!!!!!!!!

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it was imperative i photograph one on its own. you put it upside down for ten minutes on a plate with the lid off i think (i sped-read the label and sometimes i just make up my own words i think it’s called hallucinatory selective retainment)(i just made that up but it’s SO a thing though). i LOVE the graham crust. i can’t wait to be a happy fatty one day.

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everywhere you look there’s something delicious you want.

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michael brought out these lovely little gluten free sandwiches. so they do the best grilled cheese and they cater to hippies with diet restrictions, do they go ahead and eat the food for you too and tuck you in at night? pretty much. man, today’s consumer is oh so spoiled. standards are high. know your market right? i should teach business someday. at the teacher’s last night i regurgitated all that i had learned and done yesterday and he was very impressed, sees how hard i actually work and how mentally insane it makes me. he said not to teach it though (funny coming from a teacher, no?) just to do it.

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these have pesto mmmmm. garlic is my weakness. i have many.

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when i meet new people if they look familiar to me i always comment on that. i swear i’ve seen you before. it’s possible. i live in a city, i go to things often, so do others. anyway no i have not met michael before but he is one of those people who you are instantly keen on, nice guy, endearing and very into his food. you’ll enjoy yourself in there, good atmosphere, the only annoying people are the other customers haha. people can get psycho when they’re hungry eh.

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and then some confusing happening is, happening, a blond and cameras, mugging and gorging and meanwhile all you wanted was a sandwich.

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i had to train my new cameramen who had to make do with the lack of lcd on my camera. i get impatient and strangers staring and scrutinizing me while i game show pose, fuck, i don’t think everybody could do what i do everyday. don’t think, act.

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i have a few posing 101 things i do, my go-to’s. you have to wince through them when you are being eyeballed all around you. i remember seeing sass just bravely posing and ignoring everyone else and have adopted that too. there is nothing better than outright ignoring slit eyes and then just showing more and more teeth at the camera. guess what lady, i am WORKING here.

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how smug would you be waiting in line with your discount voucher and presenting it like willy wonka’s golden ticket. there is something special about gift cards or coupons, certificates. i feel like you have to loudly as hell clear your throat, ahem a lot and only then can you produce your exclusive little secret club papers. the curiosity of surrounding customers floors me too. it’s these little thrills that get us through life, i am a firm believer of this. oh, what am i doing over here, that’s right unlike you, i am not paying full price for my grilled cheese sandwiches. mmhmm.

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i love to collect new places too. i’d never think to go here if not for the internet despite passing it many many many times. i think that’s a win for the internet. so you can be a snotty stubborn real life only business type and be happy with the bare minimum clientele you’ve presently got, or, you can take on the new generation of consumers who are happy to make purchases online and are already familiar and comfortable doing that. you need to adapt to (along with) society NOT expect for it to adapt to you, that’s the way of the world old mister typewriter guy or film photography codger.

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the moment of truth.

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he cut these up thankfully so we could share with two crabby impatient customers. no time was being eaten up by us at all we were simply in line like everybody else only taking photos while waiting. it bothers me when i see anger in people’s faces annoyance, like, you live in a city, can’t take it? move then. what i am doing over here has nothing to do with you, maybe only in the sense that i am trying to help your beloved sandwich monger’s out here so that they can stay in business so you have somewhere to stand in line frowning at lunchtime.

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i’m a psycho like that. i cannot let things go. i think that everyone’s rage is my fault, always. i have an apology compulsion too. i sense people’s irritations before they happen. if i am with someone who is a loud talker i cringe billions of times inwardly because i feel like they are annoying everyone around us, even out in a park, which of course is also my fault because we are taking pictures? i am too nervous for this world ha ha.

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i LOVED these sandwiches. be sure to try the tuna melt i have never had such a delicious tuna melt before, it’s like it was pulled pork, so thick and tender. exquisite. there’s a word i seldom use. it’s totally the one though.

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the crabby couple was watching this and making snarky faces. raymi, let it go. let it go. i can’t i can’t! one of these days i am just going to cause the most magnificent of scenes, ten years of suppressed (ha hardly suppressed) rage will come out on some little biddy in the annex. i just know it.

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this is me and my ADD at its finest. semi-listening, trying trying, failing, eating. pretty much what every foodie post i’ve ever done goes like and then foodie geeks get mad. food “reviewers” will be a post for another day though. i think i might be the solution for some restaurant proprietors out there, the ones willing to just shut up and listen because at the end of the day, ONE bad review from some witch can haunt you on google for years and years and years if you don’t watch it. another thing i’ve learned which is a bit of a catch 22, those who fear the internet most are the ones who cannot let go of a bad review it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy, we don’t want to touch the internet and NOW look what’s happened see i told you so they’re saying things about us on the internet so FUCK the internet. it doesn’t have to be that way and it can be avoided and if it happens to you there’s always damage control for the aftermath. i am an expert on bad press unfortunately.

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yay it’s bike time. i was looking forward to blasting home listening to fleet foxes it’s like winter was never here.

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there’s the one. what do you mean i can’t join your bike gang? pfft. everyone knows clubs are for nerds anyway ‘cept for the parkdale boys club though.

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picking up my baby.

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but lets pose with some stuff first just in case it’s not ready.

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one day i’ll get me a new one. not necessary though as i have two bikes. i’m bringing one to my dad’s so i can bike around burnoutington and really mess with people’s minds, i don’t think anyone rides a vintage peewee herman bike out there. i think i could bike to emma’s back porch from my dad’s, easily. lock my bike up, then get dropped off the next day to bike back with it. there’s no way i’d drunk bike ride home in burlington i’d for sure get run over and my dad would sit white knuckled waiting for me to get home. hi i am 5 years old still apparently.

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toronto is a huge bike fetish city. love that.

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moment of truth. alex hooked me up nice and good. my gear is still screwed though cos i snapped a wire and it’s a 70’s bike, this location is new so they of course wouldn’t have that specific obscure (obsolete) part whatever it was. kathleen can you get me that part?

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looks way cleaner and some of the winter rust is gone. the bell looks and sounds a lot better and my wheels were pumped, chain lubed/oiled, maybe other things i didn’t ask about didn’t care don’t need to know that’s your department i’m just the rider here.

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checking her out.

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there goes our girl. satisfied.

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right beside triple 7 heaven. i won’t bombard you with any more. for now. you got off easy.

so remember folks, Live Better Local will hook you up and if you know of a business (indie only) that should be up on there, encourage them to, it’s FREE to join the directory and it’s free to have your deal spot featured too. eventually i think a business a week should be featured to blog on LBL to keep the co-operative going strong and our city commerce thriving, and me in my wacky adventures combing the city for thrills. the site organizes categories for you too like say i have a hankering for rock climbing, maybe just maybe there’s a place nearby, or better yet, TWO places? spas? which one has the cheapest rate and most whimsical facilities, LBL will tell me because they are only involving themselves with select businesses, the BEST ones. think elite and exclusive. you will never see pizza pizza or shitty tacky sub-par quality services on LBL. if raymi would like it then yes, consider it there.

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oh so lovely day. today not so much. my bike is being rained on in the driveway right now.

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luckily i spied a few reflective surfaces in leslieville cheese market to fix my hair by i was looking a little platinum ramones.

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see? hahha.

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magic pony is now officially in the narwhal location. good work dudes. i think kristin invented magic pony specifically for me. i think she saw inside my brain one day because inside my brain it looks like this window display.

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just some blackberry randoms.

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i punctured my adventures yesterday with a day time stress relieving half pint with the teacher. i was a stress monster. i had my head down on the bar (tired, not drunk!) i was soo soo exhausted but i knew if i napped i would just burn the fuck out so i kept going. i had a grilled calamari salad with lots of mados to blast my head off despite knowing i’d be eating ethiopian for dinner. teacher says he has a thing for sad girls. he should not have said that now i can manipulate him even more so. he bought me hello kitty mp3 speakers in the form of hello kitty to try and cheer me up or out of my stress vortex. on my way out yesterday i received some stressful news that added to my stress pile. ok no more talking about being stressed for the rest of the week.

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day began hungover like this. the macintosh is sooo slooooow. it was so sunny i was annoyed and frustrated by being chained to the computer. i went up for a break before i had to leave to embark on crazy the minx crazy train tour.

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some of my brains spilled out on to the pavement.

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i was whitening my teeth but wanted a nip of chianti before heading out to dinner. solution? purple princess straw. worked like a charm michelle.

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beneath my red hoodie another tracey shirt. a purple gauzy one. teacher was like ok boyfriend response is, wear the grey one out. therefore i went for purple. he’s not my boyfriend even though he is. ha. another girl i know has a boyfriend, for YEARS, but hates introducing him as such. wants to give the appearance of being single maybe? but then i hear she dates too so who knows. my dating/coupling philosophies and practises have wholly changed since becoming singlish, i am way more relaxed about it now and realistic, maybe too relaxed? i am used to things ending or hearing of ridiculously complicated relationships and being none oo phased. engaged raymi was an alien comparatively to today raymi.

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do yourself a favour and drop in there, say raymi sent you. you don’t even need to do that to try and get a deal, there is food all over the place to sample but, it doesn’t hurt to show your loose connection to me, no?

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well, i guess, girls just want to have blog. right?

see you on the funny farm xoxo.

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tracey’s been making the rounds. played hostess for courtney and gave her a ton of work clothes. thanks mom. this one pencil skirt i specifically held on to for her she said she loves it. yay! the denim one, mom.

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yesterday i was all over the city. did you see me? we can pretend today’s weather was like yesterday’s by reliving it with me. i accumulated so much blog content yesterday we are good and full BUT it still keeps on a-coming in. WAH my job became a real job. ok see you in a bit with another post.

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me on monday with the dudes. had my wednesday sesh again this morning too. james walked over to compliment my arms, says i have a good definition to them. awesome.

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shrinking violet out.

up next will be this:

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gettin’ ma bike tuned-up and ready for spring. NO more cabs! i was a maniac yesterday for my inaugural bike ride. motorists are not ready for us yet. they fucking better get there again soon. i think you should just accept you live in a bike city and maybe mellow the hell out on the streets you dickheads. saw the aftermath of a hummer going through construction at ossington and queen yesterday, almost into the condo pit’s foundation like however many leagues down to hell deep that hole may be, it was over-hanging even, quebec plates too (snicker hahaha). case in point is spring sprung everyone’s eyeballs and hormones all over the place yesterday luckily i am an efficient athletic maniac and all awares of my surroundings, i’m aggressive on my bike, not defensive. way safer to be instead of a nervous ninny.

and this:

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and then i went for tea after this, and then ethiopian. thank god for my gym.

minx on le move.

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more adventures with tracey, ready? haha. one of my dance videos the teacher and i were laughing at cos it was like a younger slutty version of tracey (my mom) rock of lovin’ out and you can’t stop it. haha it’s the perfect burn that keeps on giving.

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these are super cheese and fun. i love fuckin around liberty village. it’s so not a real place, it’s spectacular. had faux jappy conversations near other libertarians about holt renfrew and the checking account hahaha.

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and i went out as tracey. got some girl sneers but more looks, from older men. tracey bait shirts. wildly printed blouses are bastion hallmarks of maturity. traceyism 101. everything i said and did last night i’d curtail with, tracey! and point at myself.

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i think angelina jolie is gonna get a dose of what goes around comes around right, according to my information supermarket papers. that’s where i get all my important and only news because i have been spending a lot of time in supermarkets lately and kitchens. do you want to come to my first supper club of the month? signature cocktails, food obviously and raymbo entertainment. you have to bring wine is all.

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maybe i’ll get some food sponsors and film everything and blargity blarg.

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today is a busy day for me i am glad i get to power through it hung. had courtney over last night. i was like i have mix specifically for bison vodka. us and our bison vodka. anyway i made one drink called the raymi rePEAR tonic and one more, with no name yet. i am a mixologist minxologist.

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had a little shoot up on the roof. i smoked a cig in it. gross maybe that’s why i feel like hell so much. it’s happened before.

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i lost an h&m (background) shoot cos of my tattoos. so be cautious young ladies out there. amit was like how old are you i go 28, just turned last week, which is like 200 in modeling years he’s like don’t worry you’ll be background i go yeah a kilometer away right? anyway meh. he said i don’t look 28. wow it’s like i’m obsessed or something? nah i’m not worried i’m being a good girl all the boring pays off when you do what you do during the day, which is photograph yourself obsessively and then in the mirror, oh right, i look better, now i remember why i have been suffering. turning the clock back.

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is is true gwyneth is banging that glee kid too? more important questions haha.. everyone is couging the fuck out right now. spring brings out tha craze or as dustin said, parkdale gets crackier.

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yesterday’s barista, this perfect angel chick makes me want to puke but i love her, was like oh i have never seen those before, i go yeah all this time you’ve been talking to a cool person and you never knew it. she goes, oh i KNEW it. then she told me about her rib tat and the quote, a line from a poem. more perfection. barf. so i told her a quote and said i’d tell her another one the next time i came back. she liked that. OF COURSE SHE DID BECAUSE SHE IS PERFECT.

ok gotta go