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i look like a hay mess beauty queen. famous farmer’s daughter. i need moroccan oil.

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we begin with omg i look like my mother mirror self portraits. i look like a sassy tracey. wicked! take it as a compliment mom.

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and now i look like angelina jolie on a ugh i cannot finish this joke.

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and now i look like a potato.

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i love their wild couches it’s so, what? am i upstairs at livingwelle on lesbo bingo night?

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dangerous little snack bowls.

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simple and plain, tidy and boring.

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globbed on tons of body butter.

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long ass beasts. my minxologist has reminded me it’s time for another minxing. i’m going to get jacked on coffee and go through decals after this post.

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thunder and romaine salad. i will also drag up a photo of the salad from 4 years ago. maybe 5 years ago. see how i get obsessed about things?

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quiet night.

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elegant.

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i had a 1/4 section. when in rome.

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tsk tsk.

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i had the pickerel. only because i caught my own once, killed, gutted and cleaned it myself.

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pre-dessert dessert. complimentary. the chef came out took a shine to me. don’t they all. wink.

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did i mention that the chef was also tim burton beetlejuice-era?

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i massacred mine.

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we were having the prix fixe menu, i chose the vanilla crem brulee. i picked at it.

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bailey’s cheesecake. i nicked the chocolate diamond. it was paper thin and i could see my reflection on the other half’s surface.

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and the lobster in his risotto can be tracked back to nova scotia probably from there but if one of you feels like seeing the adventure journey of something in my stomach on this rainy afternoon, go for it.

this post ended up being shorter than i thought and therefore more boring. meh. suicide saturdays game on!

thursday saw me meeting up with a mystery client in the library bar at the royal york. my decision. i wanted to have dinner afterward at epic, also in the royal york. i dressed like an escort, unintentionally so but then once paired by my client i looked like a full-fledged woman on the clock. i went with it.

i made him take pictures of me.

part of your work being a virtual salesperson gives you an opportunity to put all your skills to practise, sometimes people want to do business with you because of what you look like but you never lead on that that might have something to do with it instead turn the iphone to camera and strike it up. a table of texas oil tycoony types sat behind me and the one big shot loud mouth of the group didn’t notice me until we up and left then hollered, beckoning for me to stay, oh you’re not leaving are you? this is why i love the library bar. ballsy rich flamboyant drunks. i winked and sashayed on out of there.

avocado butter spread we couldn’t figure it out or recall what IF it was that (maybe asparagus?) but it was the champion.

the masters of the universe table of men traveled over to epic as well we could see and hear them the whole time, great entertainment. part of me wanted to join them but i knew that would go downhill fast plus i was in a business meeting.

i love old school fine dining.

the old school sexist waiters, not so much. my client said he doesn’t normally go to fancy restaurants so he didn’t understand why the waiter would wait for HIS say after the wine was poured or a plate was ready to be cleared, i’d motion and instruct that it was fine, i was clearly in charge here but not in oldschool waiter world, they take this shit seriously. i can offer my professional dating services in from of table etiquette and dining manners. raymi at raymitheminx .com hahaha no i’m serious.

yikes i look crazy.

the caesar salad i went back to epic for after FOUR YEARS of obsessing over it, verdict? not worth it. nowhere near as delicious as i boozingly romanticized it that night. oh well.

telling ya, scarf is the best versatile accessory.

not everyone can take non-blurry photos. i’m going to start bringing a real camera out with me. may as well get one for south beach.

ok now my blackberry pics. it’s raaaaaaaaining and pouring. more blog posts, more cleaning, maybe a fun trip to ikea for new cushions.

ps look! thursday JUNE 9 there’s a sample sale at nella bella. that’s the brand that does my flower clutch that is my currently rotated half part of the london bag. i am giving my mom the other half of it cos she is obsessed with the print or seeing it on my blog all the time has hypnotized her into wanting to BE ME more. heheh. everyone is obsessed with that bag. go get your own or one like it or whatever. bye.

blonderazzi from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

hi casie!

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brb i am going overboard right meow preparing our lady luncheon.

AND STOP IGNORING ME PLAYBOY DO YOU WANT ME TO BARK UP HUSTLER’S TREE?

I DON’T THINK SO!

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and while i’m at it, brunette? not with this tan. no way. i’m going surfer girl.

here are more of my grey dress going out photos. that was the best cheapest investment i ever made, in that dress. i have it in black too, britt gave it to me cos once she saw me in it she goes now i know what it is supposed to look like (fit body) i don’t want it which is hyperetarded of her to say cos her body has and always will be tinier and better than mine.

aaaand without further ado i bring you teacher’s heart attack in the making.

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tracey the minx emerges.

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sigh. i can so imagine long flowing locks on the other side of my shoulder.

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you will be sick of this dress by the end of the day. two more posts starring it haha.

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fat face looks younger but be careful how many drinks you throw back to fatten it up you don’t want to go into christina aguilera face bloat territory woah i was so going in that direction there for a spell. scared me.

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cheeseball.

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good one. ok some pepsi pics now this has to be short i have a motion room retest to prep for.

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me and christine. how far do we go back? since before twitter, her name is synonymous with spadina monologues i think she trickled in around the MG days? did you know christine also made her way onto a reality show on a tropical island to boss around men and it was broadcast in the uk or something? huge. ask her about it. maybe that’s why she does that british accent voice? (stop doing that sorry ilu but be you) anyway i love this broad and am proud she’s a lifer like me, it’s good to see her face in the scene.

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me and jarvis, i don’t know anything about this cat other than he jocks me hard and i like that.

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where do i start on this girl, well lets see, mine was the first blog she ever read so i guess i paved the crazy blogway for her, she probably learned how to walk because of me too. we have a good time together even though all her girlfriends are ice queens to me and i take it out on her via text and we don’t hang that often cos we’re both super busy but when we make time it’s the best (bad girl secrets) time, which will be tonight.

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and the best thing about casie is that there are two casies. it blew me away when she told me about how mean and catty girls were two these two growing up, competitive nasty chicks, like calling up men’s wives and lying about casie to them just to cause mad drama. not cool. anyway this is jenie, casie’s sister fyi.

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and that’s casie’s little kate who beelined me. i like when people get up in my face if they have good energy, it makes me a little shy and i say a lot of dumb shit but only because i am so flattered that we are both number one fans of me for that moment. i met adil’s (sorry name just slipped my mind) other part of mycitylives, chick’s a sweetheart.

ok this post was probably the best post i ever wrote.

i hope they don’t read my blog cos their timing is impeccable.

each time i play this video the doggy goes nuts cos she hears me talking all over the house but i am RIGHT HERE. poor dogs. so dumb.

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blonde in grey dress.

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versus often non-smiling brunette in same grey dress.

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skinny and long hair always wins ok. give me another year (for my hair to grow, in two days i’ll be a rake again i am bloated right meow).

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guh i didn’t know how hot i was at the time THANKS EVERYONE!

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and we ge the point. that hair was awesome.

and while i’m at it check this oldie of casie and i.

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we were actually cleaning something up and it turned into a pin-up shoot. as uje.