retarded is my favorite.

that natasha bedingfield song is so nice it makes me want to cry, and the video too. i can’t stand it. the song of the day was MEOW MEOW ooooOOOOh MEEOW meow OOOOOoooooH… until the cat attacked me for singing it. music snob. it’s almost as good as meowing to the tune of stop right now, thank you very much by the spice girls. do you think if i recorded a whole album of me meowing to different songs it would catch on like the jingle cats did. some fucking asshole kid in grade 5 brought that tape into class around christmas time and we had to listen to it during art class. i was sewing this felt teddy bear together (that turned out majorly ugly by the way. i should sell it on ebay. anyway.) and i had these scissors and i was like Gil I AM SO GOING TO STAB YOU IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD AHHH! so before christmas break i wanted to make sure i finished the bear so i could put it on the tree or something and then i was on the bus and i realised i left it in my desk and i freaked out and made the bus driver not leave so i could go back and get it. then i brought it home and showed everyone and no one cared. fucking bear. i think i got a B for making it. probably a C. my teacher was all you didn’t listen to instructions, i can see the seam and i was all yo teacher i wanted it that way. that same teacher always gave me shit for correcting her during lessons and for suggesting different ways to teach us. she sent me to the other side of the room once because i was talking too much but then i just talked to the other people i was moved next to instead. sucker.

taking jenny to the cottage in a couple hours. matt‘s show last nite was fun. we met pitt and he said an awful lot of endearingly drunken things which inflated my ego. i told these groupie bitches to show us their tits and they’re like WE ARE MORE CLASSY THAN THAT and i was like pshaww whatever ho bag. but then i thought, wait a minute, i’m not classy cos i am constantly showing my jubblies, this can’t be. i cut my bangs all retarded so i look like the mother from the shining and today it looks like i am wearing a wig. score. my iud fucking hurts, after the weekend i am seeing the gyno. i asked fil if i could just rip it out and he said no i’d hemhorrage (i don’t care if that’s not the way to spell it, you fucking spellcheck nerds correct it yerself) and kill myself. we brought jen back to the local pub after the show last nite and got her hooked on megatouch. the doorguy was being an asshole and not letting us in and i was like DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?!? then i called him a fucking cock and he let me in.

the megatouch dance is your chance to do the touch. do the touchee-touch.

i’m fucking hung over.

not enough people are buying my book.

Haiku Raymi

I’m gonna explode
once i drink some gasoline
and i eat a match
*

Today i just want
to go to the fucking zoo
and steal a monkey
*

Marshmallows and jam
shoved way into my eardrums
and also some pie
*

I sit on the couch
smoking cigarettes alone
in my underwear
*

Sometimes i wish for
car accidents to happen
to me when i’m sad
*

I wonder what i
will look like when i am old
i hope i’m pretty
*

When i sweat it smells
a little like hamburgers
i fucking hate it
*

I close my eyes when
riding my bike down college
because i don’t care
*

creepiest shit ever.

tony and i had a chat.