shit-ass haiku time

bottom of the pool
coma three feet deep water
drinking a mai tai
*

gun metal grey dreams
in the back of a semi
truck driver blowjobs
*

eating grape jell-o
lickin’ blow of a stripper
this life i tell you
*

the naked sleep here
amongst gravestones and torches
one two three four five
*

i hate your mother
i had sex with your father
and then i killed him
*

i went to japan
and i got a dumb haircut
and a pink poodle
*

when the cat meows
i meow right back at him
and then i starve him
*

this is what isabel had to say

so hi.

i suppose i could have left you a comment telling you i enjoyed your book,
because i don’t make it a habit to email total strangers and i feel
creeptacular doing so, (clearly you are used to it, so that makes it a
little easier).. but i wanted to tell just you, not the world.

i am a hair band.

fil and i walked to the lake and saw a dead duck and this humane society guy picked it up and put it in a bag and then i was picking at my ass and not looking where we were headed and when i looked up we were cornered by all these crazy motherfucker geese who were hissing and spitting and i had an anxiety attack then my mum showed up and told us this crazy story about my cousin and then fil and i got crazy phallic popsicles and ate them on the street and we were looking at these young chicks and fil said aloud how old do you think those little sluts are? and i said why don’t i go up and ask them and say HEY LITTLE SLUTS HOW OLD ARE YOU BECAUSE MY 30 YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND WANTS TO KNOW.

then we went inside to finish our penis popsicles.

i will finally admit now that when people are talking, i am not listening. i mean, in the beginning i am listening but once what i am hearing turns into boring i am nodding my head saying yep yup yep and i am actually quite good at looking like i am listening to every goddamn word but really i am not. don’t be insulted if we’ve had a meaningful conversation before because i’m not NOT listening all of the time. just sometimes. when i am drunk mostly. which is pretty much all of the time. so there.

you know if you have two toonies and a loonie you can put the loonie in-between the toonies and then you have a coin sandwich. try it, it’s fun.

i think the heat is making me delirious.

dear raymi the minx

Have a nice day.