ok i am finished stalking augusten burroughs we watched running with scissors last nite. it is good annette benning is amazing. gwyneth paltrow was perfect for her role ANNOYING GOODY GOODY. jeff and craig and isabelle came over last nite craig fell asleep sitting up on the couch. fil and i are going to the burbs for dinner it’s his sister’s bday then we are coming back to maybe go to a party depending how tired we are, we also still have jesus camp to watch. tomorrow we are going to a lacrosse game my first time! jeff showed me some vids last nite of how brutal the fighting is jeez louis. one of my first boyfriends in grade eight was an avid lacrosse player maybe he made the big time and i’ll see him tomorrow? last i saw him he was working in one of those sports stores at the mall he had acne and got fatter, i felt guilty dumping him cos i thought he is so cute he will blossom into this hot babe. i was wrong.

i have this thing that has been growing on my shoulder for over two years now fil just said MAYBE IT IS A BOTFLY WORM. nice. oh another thing i am now paranoid of is getting a brain aneurysm cos this chick in magical thinking gets one waiting for an elevator and died on the spot.

i have to go now we have to get fil’s sister’s present and fil needs a car wash remind me to blog about our CAR WASH FIGHTS they happen every weekend.

oh yeah who gets all your stuff when you die your boyfriend or your parents? fil says parents but i say well the boyfriend lives with you and you spend more time with him. he said don’t worry he will hide some things that my parents never knew existed. think how rich he would get off my art. craig is stupid he said well when you die your stuff isn’t worth as much. um sorry when you die it is basically a goldmine.

me: i woke him up to talk about britney spears and he got mad
haha

sharpachu: hahahaha

me: so when he gets up and is all OMG! over it i will be extremely nonchalant and ignore him

sharpachu: boys just don’t understand

me: i know that would wake me up out of a coma

sharpachu: it’s so nuts

me: sigh
all the bitches are cuckoo

sharpachu: yeah
they are going crazy

hahaha jeff

++++

i have been saying oh man a lot lately and like right now for instance oh man this is the best costume for a kid ever hands down i know i don’t typically feature babies and kids on my blog ever cos i essentially think they are useless mooches but holy how funny is this picture?

hey kid the KKK is thataway –> also i got this from a denmark blog, aren’t people from denmark racist? let me know.

i made these last nite they are WHIMSICAL fil said i had to put more eggs in otherwise it would be a quiche. doesn’t a quiche require cream and fat women’s fingers or something?

fil made this delicious pizza from scratch it is amazing i only had one slice because i am trying not to be the fattest girl in the room anymore. did you know i don’t drink beer anymore? just scotch and vodka and wine and gin but in small amounts. ok nevermind. maybe small amounts in my head. i eat less so i get wasted easier so i drink less. the end.

that’s me and anj from a few halloweens back she is a wicked bass player and singer too we are going to make some music together i have to write songs i hope they don’t turn out like rush again all i know how to write about is lord of the rings and clouds and depression. i’m such an idiot back then i perma-saved all my pictures small so i don’t have the originals of all the good ones. i am smiling like sam crenshaw cos the dude beside me is WAY passed out and i was scared of him cos he is a fucking lunatic.

that’s sam crenshaw (for you americans) he is the detective puppet on today’s special i have referenced him before and will continue to do so in the future as we have the same nose. i would lose my mind if i missed an episode of today’s special and i thought the computer sam used was amazing and intimidating i was sad cos i thought that i would never ever be able to learn how to use a computer. remember muffy mouse? ha muffy. muff.

crazy spears

mental breakdown much? this is how you know a girl is not well, when the hair comes off, i almost did it myself years ago while talking to myself in the backyard and luckily a bug flew by my face while i was figuring out whether i should cut off my beautiful long hair and i took it as “a message” to not do it. spears needs help y’all give it to her NOW!

haha i just woke up fil who is trying to sleep away his hangover and said that i had some very important news for him and sorry i know you are sleeping and all but BRITNEY SPEARS SHAVED OFF ALL HER HAIR IN A TATTOO PARLOR. fil was like?? why are you telling me this now?? FINE he will feel really stupid when he sees the pictures of her.

here is a nice email from a nice girl to distract you from the pain of the fallen celebrities:

I heard your interview in class…

-Monica

for now here i am singing while fil plays ms. pacman i am mysterious. song is missing, beck. here is a who will save your soul xmas eve singsong and i am wasted. this is do you want to know a secret. the thing with me and drinking and singing is i really like to do them simultaneously. it’s my life this one will kill you. here i am trainwrecking through papa don’t preach. be jealous. here i am after falling down some stairs and slurring. adorable. this is in my place and this is mrs. robinson. wasted singing travis oh man it is fucking brutal.

me: oh my god someone is slamming the garbage chute over and over WTF
like 30 times in a row!

Phil: go check
maybe it is wind

me: theyre done now

Phil: and the door isnt latched

me: no its on our floor
oh my god again!

Phil: GO LOOK
it could be wind

me: oh no people are fighting!

Phil: GO LOOK

me: someone came out of their apt and told off the guy

Phil: GO LOOK

me: saying ALL I HEAR IS BANG BANG ARE U OK
no way i dont want to be involved in old people soap opera
it’s like the golden girls on our floor

ok i am being neurotic and anal and recording myself reading part of marketable depression my heart is racing i am so gay is there allowed to be music in the background or is that WAY more embarrassing? i feel like i am going on a first date holy diarrhea maybe i should just write about my apocalyptic nightmare instead?

*ok i did one i can’t listen to it though it makes me want to put my head into a wall fil is going to listen to it when he gets home.

Hey Raymi

I’ve been a reader of yours for a few years now (well…maybe only a year or so…hard to keep track), found out about you through the ever wonderful Matt Good

anyways, the reason I’m writing you is to tell you how much I love your writing, and how you can write about anything and everything and make it interesting. the best though is that you have seriously one of THE hottest voices EVER.

and I only just discovered that through the initiation videos. wow. If I had more money and didn’t live abroad I’d wear one of your propaganda shirts EVERYDAY

anyways. yeah. thanks for your blog!
tara

should i do recordings of reading my posts/other shit like it is storytime?

CHECK THIS OUT NO IT IS NOT A PENIS SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE. nsfw. here is another holy shit, kirk.