these geniuses get in a limo from the victory. THE VICTORY. A LIMO. way to think outside the box for your stag, bros. then once inside, they got all brave and flashed me gang/bullshit signs. one chief had a cane. maybe he got hit by a slingshot in sarnia. they were hosers.

oh i must have been LOADED last nite cos i was watching this little thing on fefe dobson and IDENTIFIED with it.

we got in a fight cos i wanted to buy a huge bag of chips and put my face in it but we got beef jerky and a tuna sandwich instead (didn’t even eat the sandwich) and my feet were killing me and i thought fil was going to make me run across the street and i turned it into a metaphor of how he isn’t a gentleman then we had mugs of bailey’s, fil met the sandman and i related to fefe dobson. what a winner, right?

OK ON WITH RAYMI’S POETRY SLAM WAR

play with words? holy i just barfed in my mouth and am choking on your loser shame. thanks a lot, buzzkill.

i want to go away this weekend even for a nite
if anyone has a cottage or an area or something they go to camp or whatever and you aren’t scary weirdos email me and we can make a party this weekend
i am serious

in other news fil is doubting his blog so he took it down, it’s there but he removed the posts. go harass him in the comments.

i connected all the moles and freckles on fil‘s back and showed everyone pictures of it when he went to the bathroom.

von witch. i gave elizabeth that necklace cos i am over it.

you may as well kill yourselves now cos you are about to be disgustingly jealous…

word

BIBIM BOP! this place spelled it bi bim bab so i was a little worried. no worry once it arrived. we shared it, it’s a lot of food and pretty filling. ho su on queen will do it with brown rice or NO rice.

then we saw one of the thundercats

sorry biggest gnarliest cat i have ever seen in my entire LIFE!

elizabeth’s backyard is like narnia, wtf lamp post?

then this buddy showed up, hey man what’s up?

oh what’s that a flea collar? nice.

oh whatevs.

who the fuck is that?

nice mask, zorro. pfft.

this cat was all about cheese and weed.

i am so getting its phone number emailed to me.

honcho totally ate a teeny bud then peeled outta there fucking rules.

haaaaay buddayyy i think you didn’t get the WE DON’T CARE memo.

BYE ELIZABETH TORONTO WILL MISS YOU!!! XOXO

oh fuck good thing i feel slightly hung cos there are a trillion kids screaming their fucking heads off in the park right now, the sunlight makes them mental. i hate the sound of children, one i can handle cos you can manipulate and scare it into behaving, but fifty of them all at once!? there’s one in particular that is just standing there going BLEEARGH RAAAAAAAH ARRRRRRRRR AHHHHHHHHHH BLAAAAAAAA just standing there screaming at the top of his lungs like lord of the flies. i don’t think i will ever have kids, have i said that before? i think i have. anyway, it’s not that i would be a terrible parent, i would be too passive, who knows. nah i’d be a cool mom. my niece and cousins and other little kids like me and i know that’s something seedy dudes say to bang your mom which actually shows the insecurity of the person and self-doubt regarding whether children wanna hang.

last nite we visitted elizabeth’s backyard for her going away weed smoking party, it was fun. people laughed at my jokes. i am funny.

POEM

dear blog
you slay
everyday
slay
i think about you
when i’m away
i put down funny things to say
and pictures of my hair when it looks like hay
if you were a person we would totally play
party snort coke and hang
i know hang doesn’t rhyme with play
but chong ching ching chong chang
does
dear blog
you complete me
dear blog
you could eat me (i know you would be awesome at it)
dear blog
you can fully rely on me
i will be there for you always
even when they say my schtick is tired
i will still write mean things about strangers secretly on you
i picture us on the wickedest most psychadelic fucking rainbow holding hands flying on the backs of unicorns on the heaviest pcp ever and stardust is in our beautiful long hairs
dear blog
raymi+you4evr

*edit – unicorns are cliche so input CHESTERFIELD instead. bye.

+++

elizabeth impersonates raymi

elizabeth’s dare

that dress looks awesome on you

+++

this is good.

HAHAhahahAHAhAha

me: give me blog topic to write about
also a vice article idea

merkley???: memecats

me: um
thanks

merkley???: ok
interview me for vice
cover story

me: hmm

merkley???: interview yourself

me: i suggested you
the interview would be us tlaking baotu how cool we are

merkley???: wow — can you promise to type like that the whole time?

me: AHHAHAHAHHAa
yes

merkley???: tlaking baotu
african

me: ahahaaliuwfewo;ghreogrehgreg
oh man i am so totally hung that just put me over the hysterical edge i am never editing my grammar in conversations ever again

merkley???: ha ha

me: so gold

merkley???: i once mistyped “into” as itno and i like it way better

me: cute

merkley???: i cant get enough of these fucking cats

me: im over them
how obnoxious would it be to put those captions over pictures of you and your friends

merkley???: what are you tlaking baotu?

me: I AM LOLZING YOUR FRIDGE
oh shut up!

merkley???: if you were here in true life you would hear me clicking my mouth as i said that

me: i am clicking it in my head everytime i look at it spelled that way i snort

merkley???: you can’t not sound like a brown person when you talk like that

me: oh racist!
have you seen apocalypto

merkley???: no

me: YESTERDAY ON FACTS OF LIFE THE FAT GIRL SAID TOOTIE I LIKED YOU BETTER WHEN YOU WERE BLACK!
so ahead of its time that show

merkley???: nice

me: tootie said something lame and cheesy, i forget
anyway
BLACK
ON TV
omgsville

i tried to do a sexy dance on the coffeetable and ended up kicking two beers over that spilled over EVERYTHING then i was all whatevers and fil cleaned it up cos he went into dad mode which means he can clean better. guys are funny. sure i will let you think you are right while you are cleaning MY mess, sure, you won.

girls, having fun in the world.

more retarded pictures on my flickr.

dear last nite:

YOU WERE MENTAL!

i have not bowel movemented since last wednesday, can tylenol 2 be that constipating? what the hell? if anyone has crapping cure ideas, that do not involve shoving something in my ass, let me know. thank you. and no i am not taking tylenols anymore.

**UPDATE**

i dumped!