we are going to be eating dinner at one of our favourite restaurants tonite all day long it’s all i have been thinking about and i’ve been going into my flickr food sets looking at pictures of the foods i plan to be eating hi i am emily i am fat and i read nancy drew books alone in bed with my cat charlie please be my friend.
losers who say there aren’t any trees in toronto can blow me this is the view outside of our window i can’t see the park because of all the fucking trees in the way.
i know i’m pre-menstrual cos all i can think about is fellating all the food in the world right now don’t try and stop me.
i keep changing outfits too, i need to wear the best shirt to hide bloat-starvation/pre-menstrual/eventually going to be wicked full stomach.
i’m another one of them peoples that can’t stop reading your blog. it’s really funny and dynamic, and i know there’ll be something new on there every time i check. which is awesome, because there’s nothing worse than checking someone’s blog like 10 times in a week and they STILL haven’t updated. gawd. but yeah, i also like that you change the title and background and i like the way your links are organized on the side and you have some sexy pictures and stuff. the sexy pictures kind of make it feel like something really intimate and risque in a way.
i have a blog too but probably like 3 people read it. i’m undecided about whether i should make it more anonymous and more personal, or less anonymous and less personal and then put links to it on my facebook and such. i think i would like a few more people to read it. i think i need to update the style too, cuz it’s way too nerdy looking. the nerdy thing was totally a joke originally but it’s too subtle and most people don’t catch on because a lot of my posts are kind of serious. i find it really tough trying to decide on a style because my posts range a lot. maybe my personality ranges a lot. sometimes i like to write these kind of literary, maybe even poetic posts. but a lot of my older posts involve me going ‘yeah i am drunk and i just got back from shagging some drummer from a band and i am still horny and blah blah blah’. so yeah, i tend to have a problem deciding who my audience is and how to talk to them. did you ever find that while developing your style or did you just have one style and stick with it from the beginning? how about your audience, did you try to develop a style to suit them or did you just do your own thing and wait for them to come to you?
also, when you post, do you write your posts first and edit them and then post them, or do you just write them straight in? do you ever censor yourself? because you give the impression of not censoring yourself, but who knows, maybe you have much more risque things to say but you just don’t say them. like, you don’t really blog about sex much. this is my problem, i love talking and blogging about sex, but it’s pretty personal so i don’t really want to share it with everyone, which is why i have like three of my friends that read it…
anyway, this was kind of a pointlessly long email, but just wanted to throw those few questions your way in case you have time to read this and respond.
much love
kat
p.s. i’m not really a stalker, unless you consider that i read your blog but never say anything. well except maybe one or two comments in the past.
and also, here is my blog link in case you are interested in looking at it: baconandbananas
hey kat thanks for writing thanks for the compliments no i dont censor myself i just write how i feel and i don’t think about it too much i just do it and there it is, over-thinking things can be a big detriment i dont blog about sex anymore really cos i dunno i dont want it to be a sex blog im not purposely not talking about it or anything and as for style or schtick or whatever ive never thought ok this is how my style is going to be im not a poseur or a fake, how i write is who i am im going to post yer email and then maybe answer it further in comments later
i think it’s been awhile since i’ve shared with you’s guys a pointless some guy fucked up raymi story so here we go. i went to subway to get a sub for dinner despite fertilizer being in their wheat bread (the only kind i ever order)
If a sandwich is advertised as healthy, one would expect that the bread would be whole grain. Not so with Subway’s wheat bread. While it does have some whole wheat flour, it’s the third ingredient, listed just before high fructose corn syrup [4]. None of Subway’s breads are whole grain. Ammonium sulfate (a fertilizer) is also added. Unfinished sandwiches may be composted. The bread also contains azodicarbonamide. From Wikipedia,
Use of azodicarbonamide as a food additive is banned in Australia. In the UK, the Health and Safety Executive has identified azodicarbonamide as a respiratory sensitiser (a possible cause of asthma) and determined that products should be labeled with May cause sensitisation by inhalation [5].
Most of the meats at Subway contain MSG and/or sodium nitrite.
moving on, i did this because we were going to gabby’s to play trivia and i thought fertilizer is probably better than deep fried something or other or a mountain of nachos and i wanted to have food in my stomach to be primed for all the alcohol i planned to consume.
fil goes ahead into gabby’s and i am already having second thoughts about my sub cos there’s a bitchy chick barking at the “sandwich artist” to spread out her meats and demanding every single sauce on her 6 incher and the guy is taking a long time to get it right, and then there isn’t change so he has to go searching for a roll of coins and i am wearing my humongously obnoxious russian hat and it’s taking up all the room in the restaurant and by now two ginos come in and wait with me for this guy to finish up and serve me and then another tweedle dumb sandwich artist from the back room comes out with a box of change and snail’s pace unloads it all into the til meanwhile there are now two more people on top of the two ginos and me waiting to be served and i am doing my best impression of someone who isn’t an impatient fucking asshole.
i looked like this.
so the kid says hi sorry about that what would you like i say a 6 inch cheese and veggie on whole wheat and TOASTED which i can see throws the guy off comfuckingpletely because he gets a loaf cuts it in half puts the cheese on it and then sweeps it aside to begin serving the dude behind me, NOT putting it in the toaster thing which was his intention of multi-tasking, i saw it in his face and read it on his brain and so my eyes bulge out of my face as i am watching him painstakingly try and get two of those ready-to-go measured out chicken boxes onto the dude behind me’s sub and he’s delicately arranging them (by this point i am thinking he is for real retarded, or baked) and so then he sweeps THAT SUB aside and asks gino number 2 what he would like and i swear three minutes have passed since he first started my sub, i admire the concept of doing the assembly line bam bam bob’s yer uncle end result of having half-completed subs on the cutting board (if you can actually pull it off efficiently, which this kid wasn’t), but not when i have already been waiting long enough and i KNOW the kid intended to put my sub in the toaster but forgot and my not pointing it out for fear of looking like a witch, well, too late, so i go in librarian you are in trouble voice UMEXCUSEME! and hold up my hand then point at my sub and make a pfft/pshh exasperated sound in lieu of words and i already feel like a dickhead because my hat is the size of lake ontario and now i am scolding a pimply faced retard.
a lightbulb goes off in the guy’s head and i say can you toast that? and he goes ok then asks what i want on it and i know the window of toasting-opportunity has closed cos they toast the sub with cheese on it only THEN do they load all the toppings on it so i say fine and tell him green pepper lettuce tomato red onion a teeny bit of mayo and sub sauce and pepper, which takes a hundred years of course and the other tweedle dumb is pulling on a pair of those gloves and everyone on my side of the window is like thank godding in their heads and they totally heard me say toast it but see that it is not being toasted and i feel embarrassed for all of us.
i went down being the bad guy to save 4 other people and no high-fives were handed out, i angrily inhaled my sub in the corner even though i wanted to do the storm out and i could see everyone looking at me in the reflection of the window, i couldn’t do the storm out cos i don’t think gabby’s lets you eat subs at their bar.
that was my last subway experience way to go out like that holy shit, i was so bitter i shared some honey garlic wings with christie at gabby’s after that.
moral: don’t fuck with people when they are starving.
this thai green curry completely blew my head off, at first i was all oh yeah i LOVE spice then smothered my rice in extra sauce w/o sampling it first. idiot.
it’s almost vulgar looking this up-close.
delicious as hell, i ate as much as i could before having been reduced to a runny-nosed, sweaty-faced pile of garbage.
you won this round GC, but i’ll be back. i kept saying how much of a “good step” in the “right direction” it was for me eating spicier food out of my realm and then i repeated that many more times cos i thought no one was listening.
then i had to have a beer cos my lips and face were on fucking fire.
i feel like a thousand pounds looking at this picture.
this flavour is disgusting, well, at first it’s intriguing you are like why god? then you are blasted with an awful aftertaste, then you eat more just because. it’s like they forgot to say w/ blue cheese or something cos i can totally detect it.
one of the stickers that came with beck’s information album.
we brought bathingsuits but were too wasted to even think about hot-tubbing, we stayed up fighting about hunting with fil’s dad and blasting rufus wainwright hahaha. the first time i went up there fil refused to go in the hot tub cos he didn’t want his dad to know he had a tattoo on his calf omg fil hi you are (were) 30 grow up, so i didn’t go in either and we stood around and watched everyone else have fun go fil!
we stopped in a mac’s parking lot so i could get a coke slushy and some shitty old dutch nacho chips and i helped this incredibly old dude with no fingers on his right hand (seriously) and he was very shaky w/cane, i helped him up the front stoop to get into the store and held the door for him and then waited in line for five hours behind him while he tried to close his wallet then helped him back out of the store then went back in to pay for my purchases then got in the car and this car pulls up beside me i am half paying attention because i’m about to GET DOWN NACHOTOWN and this girl behind the wheel mouths O.MY.GAWD and fil says i think she knows you do you know her and i see her mouth RAYMI so i open the door and say hi? and she says are you raymi oh my god what are you doing here? (in collingwood) i say yes and fil’s dad lives here she says oh right i almost said i was in collingwood buying a slushy instead put on my jokey banshee voice ohmygod don’t look at me i’m so hungover! she laughs we pull out and drive away and i bragged about how i am a movie star all the way home. hi danielle! sorry my teeth weren’t brushed, wine-stainy and my hair was texas oil slick nice to meet you.
me: it’s hard to read your webpage in China since blogspot is blocked, so I don’t keep up as well as I would like.
raymitheminx: i have raymitheminx.com does that work
me: checking it! nope, it doesn’t seem to fly
raymitheminx: oh well sorry i missed you when you were here tho im sure it was more your fault than mine
me: oh well indeed. probably. ha! no. I’m awkward and shy. not much has changed in the past few (thousand) years and I was barely in Toronto but I’m back for good next year. we can have a momentous meeting. re-meeting
raymitheminx : u were shy of moi?
me: yes, and in general. you’re inevitably buying into a probably awkward first meeting
raymitheminx : omg but we are buddies! no way
me: BUDS. hahaha!
raymitheminx: not allowed
me: thanks, that’s encouraging!
raymitheminx: its ok im an egomaniac i wont even notice you haha
me: hahah! raymitheminx: wait what, what are we doing here?
me: hm, yes, what.
raymitheminx: what time is it there
me: one thing that’s great about China (aside from the counterfeit dvds) is that it is not cold here yet. it’s 1 in the am I’m probably off to bed soon
raymitheminx: show me a picture of yer bf
me: hhaha. he’s in pictures on my facebook. hold on
raymitheminx: kai
me: he’s in toronto right now. keeping the home fires burning.
raymitheminx: are you in an open relationship are you devastatingly lonely
me: the devastating one ronry..
raymitheminx: sigh
me: I have been cursed with monogamy
raymitheminx : do you guys cry to each other in emails
me: do you feel that we already had some pretty fixed paths when we were like 17 no crying allowed we haven’t deviated much from our respective paths
raymitheminx: do i feel that u and i?
me: no, we’re pretty ok with long distance relationships
raymitheminx: well u are in china and i am in toronto
me: yes, since we last knew each other well, there’s that but our mindsets, personalities, desires. etc. raymitheminx: um hmm well i was in a psyche ward that wasnt really my plan
me: it’s never really a plan, I guess. damn you, cutting holes in my theory my theory is unbreakable!
raymitheminx: but more or less i guess im doing what i want to be doing i wish i had more money and fame tho re-ask the question
me: do you make money off your website?
raymitheminx: whoops ads and people buy my art and my book it is a platform
me: I still stand by the idea that to a certain extent, I could have in some way predicted your development, vaguely, having known you at 17. that you would be doing something bold and writing related that that you were okay with having your personal life in the public domain.
raymitheminx: you invented me! ha
me: that things would get difficult, that those things would have gotten better. and the bad memories would have greatly informed you as a person now. in a dark cloud sort of manner.
raymitheminx: i wasnt going to have it any other way really
me: and I would be in a retartedly long 5 year relationship and want to settle down.
raymitheminx: i kind of dismissed highschool and decided that being popular in the real world is more important
me: that’s true. it’s good you caught onto that one early
raymitheminx: you want kids already?
me: not like the others “oh, glory days!” ick, no but I want to move in with my bf. get a joint bank account
raymitheminx: !
me: get a real job (after law school)
raymitheminx: hahahahaha you are going to be a lawyer? but you’re a woman
me: yeah, I’m going to osgoode hall next year
raymitheminx: you mean legal secretary right heh
me: that is why I’m saying ‘so long’ to China next year.
raymitheminx: you are taking law in china?
me: or should I say 再见 nope, I’m just working and studying chinese here. starting law school sept. 2008 ick, school. exams.
raymitheminx: you make me feel frivolous
me: don’t, you’re supporting yourself.
raymitheminx: my job is taking pictures of retarded flowers and what i ate last nite
me: you’re building a brand
raymitheminx: and you’re an adult
me: have you heard of tumblr?
raymitheminx: no
me: uh, pyjama pants are tucked into the top of my socks my underwear has a picture of a cartoon pig on it. sure, I live in China, but I’m still a bit of a baby. tumblr is like blogspot for add people. you should check it out. on the plus side, it’s not blocked in China *hint hint hint I’ve got one at goodriddancetobadnews.tumblr.com I keep having to bounce around to different sites as blogspot is crappy here.
raymitheminx: ah how is it for ad people oh ADD a.d.d.
me: haha! oh, my bad.
raymitheminx: i thought you were giving me great marketing tips
me: hahah! I wish.
raymitheminx : metoo do you get hit on there
me: The living cost is SO low here. a can of coke in a convenience store costs 20 cents. but I get paid 15 dollars an hour so I can work less, do more. hmm, hit on.
raymitheminx: woah
me: not really. I do get creepy fat old expat guys in bars sometimes. it’s disgusting
raymitheminx: is it because you look like everyone else there
me: some guys treat chinese girls really badly. I get the spillover sometimes
raymitheminx: and wear glasses do you snap
me: it helps me to blend in
raymitheminx: i want to go there right now and punch everyone GRR
me: seriously! it makes you really depressed about boys. a lot of them are like kids in a candy shop here.
raymitheminx: jeez
me: some relatively decent guys just come here and end up sleeping with a lot of Chinese girls and leaving them in the lurch
raymitheminx: wicked
me: albeit, both sides are using each other, but it’s still skewed to the guy’s side. well, depends on perspective.
raymitheminx: how are white women treated there like aliens sexless aliens
me: I don’t want to date a guy who comes and takes advantage they’re treated alright, I suppose. But from their perspective, I wouldn’t want to date some other expat dude who’s just sleeping around because he can capitalize on his status.
raymitheminx: right
me: it’s a weird situation. I’m glad I’m not dating here. dating in general. how is your mans by the way did I ever tell you I started reading douglas coupland books?
raymitheminx : started? i thought all chinese girls read them my mans is goods
me: blah, seriously? I have always mentally linked him and you
